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Revision as of 17:00, 30 September 2014 view sourceMx. Granger (talk | contribs)Extended confirmed users, Pending changes reviewers, Rollbackers69,842 edits →Opposition to the term: condensing and rephrasing to better reflect the source← Previous edit Latest revision as of 16:43, 17 September 2024 view source Omnipaedista (talk | contribs)Autopatrolled, Extended confirmed users, Pending changes reviewers242,120 edits better section title 
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{{Short description|Inability to move from a platonic relationship into a romantic one}}
{{About|the relationship concept|musical duo|Friendzone|the reality show|Friendzone (MTV series)}}
{{Other uses}}
].]]
{{pp|small=yes}}
In popular culture, '''friend zone''' refers to a ] wherein one person, most commonly a man, wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not.<ref name="twsFebX22">{{cite news
{{Use dmy dates|date=December 2021}}
|author= Emily Yahr
]
|title= The CW's 'Plain Jane,' a not-so-extreme makeover show
{{Close Relationships|types}}
|publisher= ''Washington Post''
{{Love sidebar|all}}
|quote= she harbors a hard-core crush on her buddy Ty, who has categorized her in "the friend zone" since college.
{{Emotion}}
|date= July 25, 2010
|url= http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/07/22/AR2010072206828.html
|accessdate= 2011-02-24
}}</ref><ref>Oxford Dictionary, , Accessed Jan. 22, 2014, "...a situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unrequited romantic or sexual interest in the other..."</ref> It is generally considered to be an undesirable or dreaded<ref>Amy Kaufman, Los Angeles Times, February 15, 2011, , "...the dreaded friend zone..."</ref> situation by the lovelorn person.<ref name=twsFebX19/> The concept has been criticized as ].<ref name="Marcotte">{{cite web|title=The dangerous discourse of “the friend zone”|url=http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/05/27/the-dangerous-discourse-of-the-friend-zone/|last=Marcotte|first=Amanda|date=May 27, 2014}}</ref>


In popular culture, the '''friend zone''' (or '''friendzone''') is a relational concept, describing a situation in which one person in a mutual ] wishes to enter into a ] with the other person, while the other does not.<ref>{{Citation |title=Oxford English Dictionary |url=http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/friend-zone |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20131129154332/http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/friend-zone |url-status=dead |archive-date=29 November 2013 |contribution=friend zone |quote=...a situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unrequited romantic or sexual interest in the other... |access-date=22 January 2014}}</ref> The person whose romantic advances were rejected is then said to have "entered" (or to have been "put in") the friend zone, with the sense that they are stuck there. The friendzone has a strong presence on the Internet; for example, on ], dating sites, and other social media platforms. However, over time the term has expanded into middle schools, high schools, and colleges where young people are discovering their identities when it comes to dating and romance.<ref>Buchler, Chelsea (5 January 2014). "The "Friendzone": Renegotiating Gender Performance and Boundaries in Relationship Discourse". ''University of Colorado Boulder''.</ref>
According to psychologists, the man in a cross-gender friendship is more likely to be attracted to his woman friend than she is to him, and he is more likely to overestimate her sexual interest in a romantic relationship.<ref name=twsTheGuardian2/><ref> April Bleske-Rechek, Erin Somers, Cierra Micke, Leah Erickson, Lindsay Matteson, Corey Stocco, Brittany Schumacher, Laura Ritchie, University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, 2012, Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, , Retrieved Sept. 29, 2014, pages 569-596</ref>


The concept of the friend zone has been criticized by some as ], because of a belief that the concept implies an expectation that women should be romantically involved with men in whom they have no interest, simply because the men were nice to them,<ref name="6 reasons">{{Cite web |last=Dickson |first=E.J. |date=12 October 2013 |title=6 reasons the "friend zone" needs to die |url=http://www.salon.com/2013/10/12/6_reasons_the_friend_zone_needs_to_die/ |access-date=26 April 2015 |website=] }}</ref><ref name="Marcotte">{{Cite web |last=Marcotte |first=Amanda |date=27 May 2014 |title=The dangerous discourse of "the friend zone" |url=http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/05/27/the-dangerous-discourse-of-the-friend-zone/ |website=] |access-date=7 June 2014 |archive-date=1 August 2014 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20140801110241/http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/05/27/the-dangerous-discourse-of-the-friend-zone/ |url-status=dead }}</ref> though the term refers to all forms of unrequited affection, not necessarily a man liking a woman. It is also closely associated with so-called "]".<ref>{{cite news|first=Rachel|last=Hosie|url=https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/nice-guy-syndrome-dating-tactics-persona-men-women-relationships-a7476651.html|title=The sinister logic behind 'Nice Guy Syndrome', explained by psychologists|newspaper=]|date=16 December 2016|accessdate=March 17, 2024}}</ref>
==Application==
There are differing explanations about what causes a person to be placed in the friend zone by another. It might result from misinterpreted signals or from a fear that a deeper relationship might jeopardize the friendship. A '']'' writer suggested there were several cases in which someone might become relegated to the friend zone: (1) person A is not sufficiently attracted to person B, (2) person A misinterprets ] from person B signaling their interest in deepening the relationship, (3) there is sexual repulsion (but not enough to block a friendship).<ref name=twsFebX18/> In a friendship between the two people, being relegated to the ''friend zone'' can happen to either person.<ref name="twsFebX18">{{cite news
|author= GINA B.
|title= What's so bad about the friend zone?
|publisher= ''Chicago Tribune''
|date= January 12, 2007
|url= http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2007-01-12/news/0701120408_1_new-friends-attraction-friendship
|accessdate= 2011-02-24
}}</ref> In another instance, a woman described her male friend, someone she was comfortable with as if he was one of her girlfriends, but their relationship became problematic when he wanted their relationship to develop romantically but she did not. One man compared the friend zone to being a "third wheel" and having only a platonic relationship with a woman.<ref> November 21, 2005, Susan King, ''Los Angeles Times'', , Accessed Jan. 22, 2014, "... I was the third wheel who would listen to all of her problems, and we would have platonic sleepovers like in the movie..."</ref>


The term was originally popularized in the American sitcom television series '']'' (1994). In the seventh episode of the first season, "]", ] is lovesick for ], but ] informs him that, when two people meet, there is a short period in which there is potential for a romantic relationship that Ross has gone beyond. After this time, if they continue to see each other, they are in the "friend zone" and so a romantic relationship is effectively impossible, even if one of the parties wants to be the other's lover.<ref>{{cite web|first=Sarah-Louise|last=Kelly|url=https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/people-are-just-realising-where-the-term-friend-zone-came-from-and-were-stunned_uk_65e9cde8e4b0c77c74157b33|title=People Are Just Realising Where The Term 'Friend Zone' Came From And We're Stunned|website=]|date=March 7, 2024|accessdate=March 16, 2024}}</ref>
Marshall Fine of '']'' suggested that the friend zone is "like the penalty box of dating, when your only crime is not being buff and unobtainable."<ref name="twsFebX24">{{cite news
|author= Marshall Fine
|title= HuffPost Review: Just Wright
|publisher= ''Huffington Post''
|date= May 10, 2010
|url= http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marshall-fine/huffpost-review-ijust-wri_b_569896.html
|accessdate= 2011-02-24
}}</ref> Dating adviser Ali Binazir described the friend zone as '']'', and wrote that it's a "territory only to be rivaled in inhospitability by the western ], the ], and ]."<ref name="twsFebX19">{{cite news
|author= Ali Binazir M.D. M.Phil.
|title= How to stay out of the Friend Zone
|publisher= ''taoofdating.com''
|date= February 2011
|url= http://taoofdating.com/how-to-stay-out-of-friend-zone/
|accessdate= 2011-02-24
}}</ref> Mastin Kipp of the Huffington Post described himself as always having girlfriends who were "girls" but were only his "friends", meaning there was no sex between them.<ref name="twsFebX21">{{cite news
|author= Mastin Kipp
|title= Choosing a Better Kind of Love
|publisher= ''Huffington Post''
|date= June 3, 2010
|url= http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mastin-kipp/love-choosing-a-better-ki_b_598693.html
|accessdate= 2011-02-24
}}</ref>


==Terminology==
There is general agreement that once someone is in the friend zone, it is difficult to get out.<ref name="twsFebX27">{{cite news
The term friendzone can be ], as in the sentence "So, she's friend-zoned you."<ref>{{Cite web|url=https://thejambar.com/the-friend-zone-less-innocuous-than-it-seems/|title=The Friend Zone: Less Innocuous than it Seems? - The Jambar|date=February 2018 }}</ref> It is described as " situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unreciprocated romantic or sexual interest in the other."<ref>Shields, Giorgia (12 January 2017). "A place where every decent guy will find himself eventually": delineating the friend zone as a site of sexual violence". ''The University of Texas at Austin''.</ref> Although the term is apparently gender-neutral, the friend zone is often used to describe a situation in a male-female relationship in which the male is in the friend zone and the female is the object of his ], or vice versa, where the female is being friend-zoned by the male, although less common.<ref>{{Cite news |date=12 October 2013 |title=6 reasons the "friend zone" needs to die |language=en-US |work=Salon |url=https://www.salon.com/2013/10/12/6_reasons_the_friend_zone_needs_to_die/ |access-date=25 October 2017}}</ref><ref>{{Cite web|url=https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/men-friend-zone-women|title=Women Get Friend-Zoned Too – And Men Still Sleep With Them Anyway|first=Natalie|last=Gil|website=www.refinery29.com}}</ref> The person who does the friend-zoning is referred to as the ''friend-zoner'', whereas the person who gets friend-zoned is called the ''friend-zonee''.
|author= Dr. Alex Benzer
|title= How Rich Guys Screw Up Their Chances with Women
|publisher= ''Huffington Post''
|date= April 2, 2009
|url= http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-alex-benzer/how-rich-guys-ruin-their_b_181386.html
|accessdate= 2011-02-24
}}</ref><ref> Los Angeles Times, , Accessed Jan. 22, 2014, "...about escaping teenage gloom or the friend zone..."</ref>


The term "friend zone" is sometimes used in ] literature, where it forms part of PUA theories about female sexual attraction to males.
==Opposition to the term==


== Research ==
{{Expand section|date=March 2014}}
Binghamton University did a study on undergraduates from a midsize university in the northeastern United States. There were 562 participants with 305 identified as female and 257 as male. Of the 562 participants, 427 were exclusively heterosexual while 113 were not exclusively heterosexual. The participants were asked "Have you ever friend-zoned someone else?" and "Have you ever been friend-zoned?" The study found that 65.7% of exclusively heterosexual males have friend-zoned someone while 92.6% of exclusively heterosexual females have friend-zoned someone. The study also found that 75.2% of exclusively heterosexual males have been friend-zoned before while only 41.2% of exclusively heterosexual females have been friend-zoned before.<ref>Harrington, Lillian, et al. (2017).</ref>


== Background ==
Feminist bloggers such as Rivu Dasgupta and Amanda Marcotte have argued that the friend zone concept is misogynistic.<ref name="Marcotte"/><ref name="maneater">http://www.themaneater.com/stories/2014/2/13/friend-zone-sexist/</ref><ref>{{cite web |url=http://mic.com/articles/94844/rape-culture-is-everywhere-our-children-can-see-watch-your-favorite-movies-prove-it |title=Rape Culture Is Everywhere Our Children Can See — Watch Your Favorite Movies Prove It}}</ref> They say the ''friend zone'' concept implies that if a woman and a man have a platonic friendship and the man becomes romantically attracted to the woman, then the woman has a ] to return his affection.<ref name="maneater"/> A woman who does not return her "]" male friend's affection is viewed negatively or seen to be at fault.<ref name="maneater"/>
Writer Jeremy Nicholson in '']'' suggested that a romantic pursuer, in order to avoid being rejected upfront, uses a ploy of acting friendly as a "back door" way into a hoped-for relationship. When this method does not work, the pursuer consequently is placed in the ''friend zone''.<ref name="twsPsychToday5">{{Cite journal |last=Nicholson |first=Jeremy |date=1 March 2013 |title=Avoiding the Friend Zone: Becoming a Boyfriend or a Girlfriend |url=http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201302/avoiding-the-friend-zone-becoming-girlfriend-or-boyfriend |journal=] |page=3}}</ref>


According to some psychologists, the man in a ] is more likely to be attracted to his woman friend than she is to him, and he is more likely to overestimate her interest in a romantic or sexual relationship.<ref name="twsTheGuardian2" /><ref>{{Cite journal |last1=Bleske-Rechek |first1=April |last2=Somers |first2=Erin |last3=Micke |first3=Cierra |last4=Erickson |first4=Leah |last5=Matteson |first5=Lindsay |last6=Stocco |first6=Corey |last7=Schumacher |first7=Brittany |last8=Ritchie |first8=Laura |date=August 2012 |title=Benefit or burden? Attraction in cross-sex friendship |journal=] |volume=29 |issue=5 |pages=569–596 |doi=10.1177/0265407512443611 |s2cid=4991872}} </ref>
Blogger Matt Eastwood prefers the term "]" instead; while the term "friend zone" implies that the person who does not return the affection, usually the woman, is at fault, the term "unrequited love" assigns the source of the conflict with the person who is unable to accept only friendship.<ref>{{cite web |url=http://www.mattloveswriting.com/friendzoned-perhaps-your-actual-problem-is-this/ |title=“Friendzoned”? Perhaps your Actual Problem is This. |archiveurl=https://web.archive.org/web/20131226041350/http://www.mattloveswriting.com/friendzoned-perhaps-your-actual-problem-is-this/ |archivedate=2013-12-26}}</ref>


==Criticism of the term==
A 2013 article by writer Ally Fogg in ]'s "Comment is free" site argued that while the friend zone doesn't exist, men who use the term are not necessarily misogynistic. Fogg argued that the ''friend zone'' does not exist in a literal sense, since numerous male-female friendships spark into romance, but that the ''friend zone'' does have a sort of emotional reality for straight men with low self-esteem, lacking self-confidence, unskilled at dating and flirting.<ref name=twsTheGuardian2/> When such men form friendships with women, become attracted and then experience rejection, they sometimes use the term "friend zone" to describe their experience.<ref name=twsTheGuardian2/> According to Fogg, "men, like women, are victims of our tediously stubborn gender roles" in which men are expected to "make the first move",<ref name=twsTheGuardian2>Ally Fogg, 8 January 2013, The Guardian, , Retrieved Sept. 29, 2014.</ref> and "most men who feel themselves to be in the friend zone are just a bit rubbish at dating, flirting and what my granny would have called wooing."
] writers such as Rivu Dasgupta and ] have argued that the friend zone concept is ].<ref name="maneater"/><ref name="Marcotte"/><ref>{{Cite web |last=Moore |first=Tracy |date=2 November 2014 |title=Hey Dude, You're Not Stuck in the Friendzone Cuz You Dress Shitty (blog) |url=http://jezebel.com/hey-dude-youre-not-stuck-in-the-friendzone-cuz-you-dre-1653403664 |access-date=26 April 2015 |website=] |publisher=]}}</ref><ref name="6 reasons" /> Dasgupta sees the friend zone as being rooted in ].<ref name="maneater"/> The '']'' concept has been criticized as a ] with an underlying message that kind acts demand a sexual or romantic reward.<ref name="maneater">{{cite web|last1=Dasgupta|first1=Rivu|title=The Friend Zone is Sexist|url=http://www.themaneater.com/stories/2014/2/13/friend-zone-sexist/|website=The Maneater|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20141205161105/http://www.themaneater.com/stories/2014/2/13/friend-zone-sexist/ |archive-date=5 December 2014|accessdate=20 May 2024}}</ref> Dasgupta and Marcotte say that the concept implies that if a woman and a man have a platonic friendship and the man becomes romantically attracted to the woman, then the woman has an obligation to return his affection.<ref name="maneater"/> A woman who does not return her "nice guy" male friend's affection is viewed negatively or seen to be at fault.<ref name="maneater"/> Ryan Milner of the ] argued that the ''friend zone'' concept is a nuanced and harmful aspect of ] authority and male domination.<ref name=twsFiberCulture4>{{cite journal|last1=Milner|first1=Ryan M.|title=FCJ-156 Hacking the Social: Internet Memes, Identity Antagonism, and the Logic of Lulz|journal=The Fiberculture Journal|date=2013|issue=22, 2013|page=16|url=http://twentytwo.fibreculturejournal.org/fcj-156-hacking-the-social-internet-memes-identity-antagonism-and-the-logic-of-lulz/|accessdate=6 November 2014}}</ref>


'']'' contributor Ally Fogg argues that while the friend zone does not exist in a literal sense, men who use the term "friend zone" are not necessarily misogynists who feel entitled to sex. He states the term's usage reflects a genuine emotional experience for straight men with low self-esteem and self-confidence. He places blame on ingrained gender roles.<ref name="twsTheGuardian2">{{Cite news |last=Fogg |first=Ally |date=8 January 2013 |title=Not all men in the 'friend zone' are bad guys |work=] |url=https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/jan/08/friends-friend-zone |access-date=29 November 2014}}</ref> Being rejected by a potential partner does not mean a person has been friend-zoned; it means that potential partner does not want to pursue a romantic relationship.<ref>Williamson, Carlos. . ''Chicago Tribune''. January 30, 2018.</ref>
==Popular culture==
The term was popularized by a 1994 episode of the American ] '']'' entitled "]", where the character ], who was ] for ], was described by character ] as being the "mayor of the friend zone".<ref>{{cite web
|url=http://www.tv.com/friends/the-one-with-the-blackout/episode/351/recap.html
|title=Friends: The One With the Blackout Recap
|publisher=]
|accessdate=2008-01-14}}</ref> The question of whether a man can ever "escape the friend zone and begin dating one of his female friends" helped make the "geek dream couple"<ref>{{cite web
|url=http://tv.ign.com/articles/764/764349p2.html
|title=IGN's Top 10 Favorite TV Couples
|publisher=]
|accessdate=2008-01-14}}</ref> of Ross and Rachel storyline dramatically compelling, according to viewers.


==In popular culture==
Since then, the ''friend zone'' concept has often been a plot element in television shows and films. The 2005 film '']'' main character, played by ], reunited after ten years with his friend played by ], who informs him that she loves him "like a brother", essentially dashing any hopes of him having her as a girlfriend. In May 2011, ] had a show entitled ]. In an interview with a national publication, a producer said:
The term was popularized by a 1994 episode of the American sitcom '']'' entitled "]", where the character ], who was ] for ], was described by character ] as being the "mayor of the friend zone".<ref>{{Cite web |title=Friends: The One With the Blackout Recap |url=http://www.tv.com/friends/the-one-with-the-blackout/episode/351/recap.html |url-status=dead |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20081205051857/http://www.tv.com/friends/the-one-with-the-blackout/episode/351/recap.html |archive-date=5 December 2008 |access-date=14 January 2008 |publisher=]}}</ref>


The 2005 romantic comedy film '']'' main plot device is that the protagonist Chris Brander (played by ]) is "friend-zoned" by his best friend (and secret love interest since school) Jamie Palamino (played by ]).
{{Quote|The idea for the show came out of my own experience. Unfortunately, I know the pain of telling the girl of your dreams you love them and want to take the relationship to the next level only to be told they don't feel the same. I figured if it happened to me, it might be something others could relate to as well. If it works, you have the beginnings of a great love story. If it doesn't, well, pain and humiliation make great TV, too."|an MTV producer<ref></ref>}}

] mentions the term in his 1996 "Bring the Pain" skit. He says that women have male friends but these men are friends with women they "haven't fucked yet". Then claims that men who have platonic friends is because of an accident and ending up in the friend zone is because of a "wrong turn somewhere".<ref name="auto">Michael, Cherish Krista. "Perceptions of Healthy and Respectful Relationships and Friend Zone Phenomena." PhD diss., Arizona State University, 2015.</ref>

] aired a reality show entitled '']'' from 2011 to 2013. Each episode is based around "crushers" who are friends with the "crushees" but want to begin relationships with them.

The ] series '']'' brings up and shows the friend zone on a regular basis, as one of the show's main characters, Mordecai, and his friend Margaret experience shifts in their relationship.


==See also== ==See also==
{{Portal|Sexuality}} {{Portal|Human sexuality}}
* ] * ]
* ] * ]
* ] * ]
* ]
* ]
* ] * ]
* ]
* ]
* ] * ]
* ]


==References== ==References==
{{Reflist}} {{Reflist|30em}}


]
] ]
] ]

Latest revision as of 16:43, 17 September 2024

Inability to move from a platonic relationship into a romantic one For other uses, see Friend zone (disambiguation).

Two partygoers demonstrating the "friend zone"

Relationships
(Outline)
Types
Genetic or adoptive
By marriage
Partner(s)
Intimate and sexual
Activities
Endings
Emotions and feelings
Practices
Abuse
Part of a series on
Love
Red-outline heart icon
Red-outline heart icon
Types of love
Social views
Concepts
Part of a series on
Emotions
Emotions

In popular culture, the friend zone (or friendzone) is a relational concept, describing a situation in which one person in a mutual friendship wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship with the other person, while the other does not. The person whose romantic advances were rejected is then said to have "entered" (or to have been "put in") the friend zone, with the sense that they are stuck there. The friendzone has a strong presence on the Internet; for example, on Facebook, dating sites, and other social media platforms. However, over time the term has expanded into middle schools, high schools, and colleges where young people are discovering their identities when it comes to dating and romance.

The concept of the friend zone has been criticized by some as misogynistic, because of a belief that the concept implies an expectation that women should be romantically involved with men in whom they have no interest, simply because the men were nice to them, though the term refers to all forms of unrequited affection, not necessarily a man liking a woman. It is also closely associated with so-called "nice guy syndrome".

The term was originally popularized in the American sitcom television series Friends (1994). In the seventh episode of the first season, "The One with the Blackout", Ross Geller is lovesick for Rachel Green, but Joey Tribbiani informs him that, when two people meet, there is a short period in which there is potential for a romantic relationship that Ross has gone beyond. After this time, if they continue to see each other, they are in the "friend zone" and so a romantic relationship is effectively impossible, even if one of the parties wants to be the other's lover.

Terminology

The term friendzone can be verbified, as in the sentence "So, she's friend-zoned you." It is described as " situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unreciprocated romantic or sexual interest in the other." Although the term is apparently gender-neutral, the friend zone is often used to describe a situation in a male-female relationship in which the male is in the friend zone and the female is the object of his unrequited desire, or vice versa, where the female is being friend-zoned by the male, although less common. The person who does the friend-zoning is referred to as the friend-zoner, whereas the person who gets friend-zoned is called the friend-zonee.

The term "friend zone" is sometimes used in pick up artist (PUA) literature, where it forms part of PUA theories about female sexual attraction to males.

Research

Binghamton University did a study on undergraduates from a midsize university in the northeastern United States. There were 562 participants with 305 identified as female and 257 as male. Of the 562 participants, 427 were exclusively heterosexual while 113 were not exclusively heterosexual. The participants were asked "Have you ever friend-zoned someone else?" and "Have you ever been friend-zoned?" The study found that 65.7% of exclusively heterosexual males have friend-zoned someone while 92.6% of exclusively heterosexual females have friend-zoned someone. The study also found that 75.2% of exclusively heterosexual males have been friend-zoned before while only 41.2% of exclusively heterosexual females have been friend-zoned before.

Background

Writer Jeremy Nicholson in Psychology Today suggested that a romantic pursuer, in order to avoid being rejected upfront, uses a ploy of acting friendly as a "back door" way into a hoped-for relationship. When this method does not work, the pursuer consequently is placed in the friend zone.

According to some psychologists, the man in a cross-gender friendship is more likely to be attracted to his woman friend than she is to him, and he is more likely to overestimate her interest in a romantic or sexual relationship.

Criticism of the term

Feminist writers such as Rivu Dasgupta and Amanda Marcotte have argued that the friend zone concept is misogynistic. Dasgupta sees the friend zone as being rooted in male narcissism. The nice guy concept has been criticized as a gender trope with an underlying message that kind acts demand a sexual or romantic reward. Dasgupta and Marcotte say that the concept implies that if a woman and a man have a platonic friendship and the man becomes romantically attracted to the woman, then the woman has an obligation to return his affection. A woman who does not return her "nice guy" male friend's affection is viewed negatively or seen to be at fault. Ryan Milner of the College of Charleston argued that the friend zone concept is a nuanced and harmful aspect of patriarchal authority and male domination.

TheGuardian.com contributor Ally Fogg argues that while the friend zone does not exist in a literal sense, men who use the term "friend zone" are not necessarily misogynists who feel entitled to sex. He states the term's usage reflects a genuine emotional experience for straight men with low self-esteem and self-confidence. He places blame on ingrained gender roles. Being rejected by a potential partner does not mean a person has been friend-zoned; it means that potential partner does not want to pursue a romantic relationship.

In popular culture

The term was popularized by a 1994 episode of the American sitcom Friends entitled "The One with the Blackout", where the character Ross Geller, who was lovesick for Rachel Green, was described by character Joey Tribbiani as being the "mayor of the friend zone".

The 2005 romantic comedy film Just Friends main plot device is that the protagonist Chris Brander (played by Ryan Reynolds) is "friend-zoned" by his best friend (and secret love interest since school) Jamie Palamino (played by Amy Smart).

Chris Rock mentions the term in his 1996 "Bring the Pain" skit. He says that women have male friends but these men are friends with women they "haven't fucked yet". Then claims that men who have platonic friends is because of an accident and ending up in the friend zone is because of a "wrong turn somewhere".

MTV aired a reality show entitled FriendZone from 2011 to 2013. Each episode is based around "crushers" who are friends with the "crushees" but want to begin relationships with them.

The Cartoon Network series Regular Show brings up and shows the friend zone on a regular basis, as one of the show's main characters, Mordecai, and his friend Margaret experience shifts in their relationship.

See also

References

  1. "friend zone", Oxford English Dictionary, archived from the original on 29 November 2013, retrieved 22 January 2014, ...a situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unrequited romantic or sexual interest in the other...
  2. Buchler, Chelsea (5 January 2014). "The "Friendzone": Renegotiating Gender Performance and Boundaries in Relationship Discourse". University of Colorado Boulder.
  3. ^ Dickson, E.J. (12 October 2013). "6 reasons the "friend zone" needs to die". Salon.com. Retrieved 26 April 2015.
  4. ^ Marcotte, Amanda (27 May 2014). "The dangerous discourse of "the friend zone"". The Raw Story. Archived from the original on 1 August 2014. Retrieved 7 June 2014.
  5. Hosie, Rachel (16 December 2016). "The sinister logic behind 'Nice Guy Syndrome', explained by psychologists". The Independent. Retrieved 17 March 2024.
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