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::How would this sound? Seeking out your help! --] (]) 09:15, 26 May 2020 (UTC) ::How would this sound? Seeking out your help! --] (]) 09:15, 26 May 2020 (UTC)
:::Oscar Grant III was a 22-year-old African-American man who was fatally shot in the early morning hours of New Year's Day 2009 by BART Police Officer Johannes Mehserle, during the third year of Dellums' term. Responding to reports of a fight on a crowded BART train returning from San Francisco, BART Police officers detained Grant and several other passengers on the platform at the Fruitvale BART Station. While Grant was held down in a prone position, Mehserle drew his pistol and shot him in the back. Grant was rushed to Highland Hospital in Oakland and pronounced dead later that day. Dellums' response to the event has been criticized by local ] media outlet the '']''<ref>{{cite web |last1=Kambon |first1=Malaika |title=Centuries of rage: The murder of Oscar Grant III |url=https://sfbayview.com/2015/02/centuries-of-rage-the-murder-of-oscar-grant-iii/ |website=San Francisco Bay View |publisher=San Francisco Bay View National Black Newspaper |accessdate=26 May 2020}}</ref>. The events were captured on multiple official and private digital video and privately owned cell phone cameras, and owners disseminated their footage to media outlets of all stripes, and to various websites where it went viral. Both peaceful and violent protests took place in the following days. Dellums professed support for these demonstrations<ref>{{cite web |title=Ron Dellums Speaks About Oscar Grant |url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiDJbd2L_6k |website=YouTube |accessdate=26 May 2020}}</ref>. The film '']'' dramatizes these events. :::Oscar Grant III was a 22-year-old African-American man who was fatally shot in the early morning hours of New Year's Day 2009 by BART Police Officer Johannes Mehserle, during the third year of Dellums' term. Responding to reports of a fight on a crowded BART train returning from San Francisco, BART Police officers detained Grant and several other passengers on the platform at the Fruitvale BART Station. While Grant was held down in a prone position, Mehserle drew his pistol and shot him in the back. Grant was rushed to Highland Hospital in Oakland and pronounced dead later that day. Dellums' response to the event has been criticized by local ] media outlet the '']''<ref>{{cite web |last1=Kambon |first1=Malaika |title=Centuries of rage: The murder of Oscar Grant III |url=https://sfbayview.com/2015/02/centuries-of-rage-the-murder-of-oscar-grant-iii/ |website=San Francisco Bay View |publisher=San Francisco Bay View National Black Newspaper |accessdate=26 May 2020}}</ref>. The events were captured on multiple official and private digital video and privately owned cell phone cameras, and owners disseminated their footage to media outlets of all stripes, and to various websites where it went viral. Both peaceful and violent protests took place in the following days. Dellums professed support for these demonstrations<ref>{{cite web |title=Ron Dellums Speaks About Oscar Grant |url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiDJbd2L_6k |website=YouTube |accessdate=26 May 2020}}</ref>. The film '']'' dramatizes these events.
{{talkref}}
:Reading this, I couldn't tell anyone what Dellum's response was, nor why it was criticized by one particular newspaper. The cite for "Dellums' response has been criticized" doesn't mention Dellums at all in the body of the article; rather, the caption for a photograph of a demonstrator asserts Dellums "refused...to confront the issue". This proposed edit also suggests (probably clumsily) that Dellums professed support for violent protests. I'd like to see much less biased sourcing for the event and a non-YouTube source for Dellums comments about the event. ]<sup><small>]</small></sup> 15:06, 26 May 2020 (UTC)

Latest revision as of 21:30, 16 November 2024

Former good article nomineeRon Dellums was a Social sciences and society good articles nominee, but did not meet the good article criteria at the time. There may be suggestions below for improving the article. Once these issues have been addressed, the article can be renominated. Editors may also seek a reassessment of the decision if they believe there was a mistake.
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Oscar Grant III

User:Calton Per the revert of an edit made at 08:18, 11 May 2020: it seems to me this was a significant enough event during his mayoralty to warrant mentioning. Dellums called for a federal inquiry on the shooting. Am I not following any Wiki editing guidelines that led you to make your edit, or are you challenging based on it's relevance to Dellums? Asking earnestly - I'm a relatively new editor. --47.144.151.55 (talk) 08:49, 11 May 2020 (UTC)

This is something that happened on BART property, from the actions of the BART Police and a BART Police officer. The only connection I can see to Ron Dellums and the government of the City of Oakland is that the BART station is within the city limits of Oakland. That's it.
Did you have anything that suggests any other connection? Because you've certainly made none. --Calton | Talk 09:37, 11 May 2020 (UTC)
How would this sound? Seeking out your help! --47.144.151.55 (talk) 09:15, 26 May 2020 (UTC)
Oscar Grant III was a 22-year-old African-American man who was fatally shot in the early morning hours of New Year's Day 2009 by BART Police Officer Johannes Mehserle, during the third year of Dellums' term. Responding to reports of a fight on a crowded BART train returning from San Francisco, BART Police officers detained Grant and several other passengers on the platform at the Fruitvale BART Station. While Grant was held down in a prone position, Mehserle drew his pistol and shot him in the back. Grant was rushed to Highland Hospital in Oakland and pronounced dead later that day. Dellums' response to the event has been criticized by local black liberation media outlet the San Francisco Bay View. The events were captured on multiple official and private digital video and privately owned cell phone cameras, and owners disseminated their footage to media outlets of all stripes, and to various websites where it went viral. Both peaceful and violent protests took place in the following days. Dellums professed support for these demonstrations. The film Fruitvale Station dramatizes these events.

References

  1. Kambon, Malaika. "Centuries of rage: The murder of Oscar Grant III". San Francisco Bay View. San Francisco Bay View National Black Newspaper. Retrieved 26 May 2020.
  2. "Ron Dellums Speaks About Oscar Grant". YouTube. Retrieved 26 May 2020.
Reading this, I couldn't tell anyone what Dellum's response was, nor why it was criticized by one particular newspaper. The cite for "Dellums' response has been criticized" doesn't mention Dellums at all in the body of the article; rather, the caption for a photograph of a demonstrator asserts Dellums "refused...to confront the issue". This proposed edit also suggests (probably clumsily) that Dellums professed support for violent protests. I'd like to see much less biased sourcing for the event and a non-YouTube source for Dellums comments about the event. --jpgordon 15:06, 26 May 2020 (UTC)
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