Revision as of 16:00, 13 January 2008 view sourceJeffpw (talk | contribs)9,574 edits →Personal Attacks: remove lunatic ravings of anon IP who will soon be blocked← Previous edit | Revision as of 20:44, 13 January 2008 view source Zeraeph (talk | contribs)5,776 edits →Arsham ParsiNext edit → | ||
Line 110: | Line 110: | ||
:An Iranian government operative? I kinda doubt it (I'm sure Misplaced Pages's pretty low on Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's list of priorities ;)), but that's a little disconcerting to think about, isn't it? ] (]) 01:18, 13 January 2008 (UTC) | :An Iranian government operative? I kinda doubt it (I'm sure Misplaced Pages's pretty low on Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's list of priorities ;)), but that's a little disconcerting to think about, isn't it? ] (]) 01:18, 13 January 2008 (UTC) | ||
Realising the extent to which ] and him minions, including, but certainly not limited to, ] have invaded and taken over my mind, my emotions and my life over the past 9 years... | |||
It really has been that long, and it really has been that unrelenting. | |||
Basically, I think ] has managed to render the internet itself, at least for me, into one long running Gaslighting game. | |||
Josef Goebbels once said that "if you tell a lie long enough it will become the truth", so ] carefully concocted a fiction of me and told it over and over again, directly and through his minions for 9 years, until nobody sees me at all, just the lies. | |||
Believe it or not, I don't actually know most of those lies myself (beyond the poison pen mails authored by ] that I only finally saw since New Year), just their effects. | |||
I am an Aspie, driven further inside myself by childhood abuse. I'm not a people person, I don't find people comforting, we aren't on the same wavelength, and besides I grew up, isolated, in a house where I would have had to be insane to trust anyone at all. So I was really a soft target, I just looked strong which must have made it so much more satisfying. | |||
I realise that, over the past 9 years, all this stalking and lying has erroded any trace of a potential to trust people I ever had. It has also erroded all faith in myself. In spite of everything I know intellectually, about the lies that have been told and how they have worked on me it has also erroded any faith I had in myself, leaving me fully intellectually aware of who I am, and how hard I work to be realistic, honest and honorable and yet also utterly incapable of feeling or believing that anyone could ever want, like or care for me anymore. | |||
I am losing my grip now, the breaking point came suddenly. I don't see any point in even surviving on these terms. I am sitting here wondering how I can even go on having any kind of life this way... | |||
It's not just on the outside, it's in my head now, like brainwashing. I run from anyone who makes a move towards me now, because I am conditioned by all this to believe that everything I do or say, no matter how hard I try, will be percieved as abuse. I am conditioned by ] and his friends to see myself as someone people see as repulsive and disgusting, I am so conditioned by all this that I cannot see any reality beyond that. It's easy to do that to an Aspie, we can't read interaction intuitively and have to work it out intellectually. | |||
The worst kind of people sense that vulnerability and put the boot in instinctively, and it snowballs. Along the way I have seen the most sadistic harpies present themselves as victims, and get away with it both because of the lies that have taken the place of my reality, and, sometimes, just "because". ] is of that kind, a blatant bully with a cavalier attitude to the truth and a driving need to dominate everyone she encounters. Weaker people just go along with it because it's easier than facing and telling the truth. | |||
I believed in Misplaced Pages, I believed I would get a fair hearing and I was horrified, halfway through to see arbcom members actually manipulating the evidence, lying about me in their own right, and deliberately putting my health down on the line to gag me. | |||
I don't know what ]'s point was. I know ] wanted me for something, not in any caring or human way, no doubt just as a "thing" to own and control, and I turned him down, and not only that, I saw through him and refused to pretend I didn't. I defied him, and I will defy him all the way to my grave, he is loathsome, and so is his agenda, and anyone who enables it. | |||
Realising here that there is no way I can stop all these lies reaching into the life of a very innocent person who needs me and insuring that I will never be allowed to help, and that the conditioning in my head will always make me run away from everyone I ever like, or want now. Because whatever they do or say there will always be this little voice in my head telling me that whatever they say they really despise me because I am disgusting, repulsive and pathetic. Knowing that is a lie does help when somebody goes to all the trouble of spreading lies behind my back to get that lie reinforced everywhere I turn. | |||
It's not going to end, if anything it is shifting up a gear. People ask why I go on fighting it, there are two reasons: | |||
a) Knowing how wrong the whole agenda is I don't have a moral option but at least TRY to oppose it. | |||
b) I can either be trapped in it and fight back, or I can just be trapped in it, there has never been a third option, which would you choose? | |||
I hope those of you responsible are proud of your tactics and lies. | |||
::I suggest that if A Kiwi has any allegations to make concerning myself that she take them, and her (usually creative) "evidence", without further delay, to the proper authorities, for example, the FBI. I am desperate enough to consider pleading guilty to any charge she can persuade them to bring, simply because, after that, whatever the penalty, she will never again be able to stalk me with poison pen emails, false identities, impersonation, defamation and a degree of sick obsession that, after 9 years, is truly terrifying. The effects on my mental and emotional wellbeing, as well as my, once, good name and reputation have been honestly devastating. Even if I had to serve a couple of years in prison for something I didn't do, at least, when I came out, I would finally be able to live my life free from the devastating effects of the malicious fixation of a total stranger. - Zeraeph, by IP --] (]) 13:08, 13 January 2008 (UTC) |
Revision as of 20:44, 13 January 2008
Committed identity: 2df26b6e249c09ecef0a70689ef7efa052d8e0d4 is a SHA-1 commitment to this user's real-life identity.Misplaced Pages:Requests for arbitration/Zeraeph-SandyGeorgia
An Arbitration case in which you commented has been opened, and is located here. Please add any evidence you may wish the Arbitrators to consider to the evidence sub-page, Misplaced Pages:Requests for arbitration/Zeraeph-SandyGeorgia/Evidence. Please submit your evidence within one week, if possible. You may also contribute to the case on the workshop sub-page, Misplaced Pages:Requests for arbitration/Zeraeph-SandyGeorgia/Workshop.
On behalf of the Arbitration Committee, — Rlevse • Talk • 19:49, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
Simple
Can you please confirm your identity as the user Jeffpw on Simple Misplaced Pages?
Gwib (talk) 23:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
- Yes, I can verify that. I opened the account so that I could post under my own name at the ANI discussion. Jeffpw (talk) 23:11, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks and sorry if we seemed untrustworthy, but we need to take every caution in dealing with this matter.
- Gwib (talk) 23:30, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
- No problem. Given the circumstances, I would have done the same thing. Cheers, Jeffpw (talk) 23:31, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
- I have now posted the following response at simple:WP:AN. Please respond there if you have any further comments.
- No problem. Given the circumstances, I would have done the same thing. Cheers, Jeffpw (talk) 23:31, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks and sorry if we seemed untrustworthy, but we need to take every caution in dealing with this matter.
- Hello Jeffpw, and thanks for confirming your identity. Unfortunately, it is difficult for us to make sense of situations like this, as we were not involved at all. Simple has problems with many banned users that come over here to try and continue causing trouble, posing as good users. We are therefore very cautious, and it is the community policy to review all users banned on EN before allowing them to edit here because there are just too many people doing it. It is not that we do not want to have him here as a constructive editor, more that we have few admins and a lot of EN rejects/trolls and in the past we've found it overwhelming. We do not know all the details of this case and what evidence there is to support the story given by User:Iamandrewrice. The idea that troubles me is that you told him to come here rather than requesting that the community give him a trial period over there. I get the feeling that we are a dumping ground for editors that people view as "too risky" for your project, and we simply cannot act in such a capacity - EN has far more resources to deal with distrusted users. We will of course welcome Iamandrewrice as soon as we can build up a proper picture of him, but I do not like the idea that we are left to deal with users that others do not wish to handle. Your offer of mentoring obviously shows that you are willing to take the time, so this is not so much directed at you, but the overall EN community if it comes down to "prove you're OK, but not here". Having heard your support for him, I'm now in favour of letting him in, but please understand that we simply cannot accept all the banned users that come over to us. Nine times out of ten, we will grant second chances and allow banned users, but we must assess the potential risk, otherwise we cannot cope. Archer7 (talk) 23:36, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
- Please allow me to take full responsibility for Ben's appearance on Simple English Misplaced Pages. He expressed so much disappointment at not being able to edit here, and I thought it would be a good place for him to put his energy. To be honest, it never crossed my mind that he should apply there instead of just opening an account like any other user. I do see the logic you're using, though because they are different sites with different administrators and policies, I hope you see my logic on not suggesting he apply. That said, he did state up front that he was banned here, which I think shows remarkable courage.
- Hello Jeffpw, and thanks for confirming your identity. Unfortunately, it is difficult for us to make sense of situations like this, as we were not involved at all. Simple has problems with many banned users that come over here to try and continue causing trouble, posing as good users. We are therefore very cautious, and it is the community policy to review all users banned on EN before allowing them to edit here because there are just too many people doing it. It is not that we do not want to have him here as a constructive editor, more that we have few admins and a lot of EN rejects/trolls and in the past we've found it overwhelming. We do not know all the details of this case and what evidence there is to support the story given by User:Iamandrewrice. The idea that troubles me is that you told him to come here rather than requesting that the community give him a trial period over there. I get the feeling that we are a dumping ground for editors that people view as "too risky" for your project, and we simply cannot act in such a capacity - EN has far more resources to deal with distrusted users. We will of course welcome Iamandrewrice as soon as we can build up a proper picture of him, but I do not like the idea that we are left to deal with users that others do not wish to handle. Your offer of mentoring obviously shows that you are willing to take the time, so this is not so much directed at you, but the overall EN community if it comes down to "prove you're OK, but not here". Having heard your support for him, I'm now in favour of letting him in, but please understand that we simply cannot accept all the banned users that come over to us. Nine times out of ten, we will grant second chances and allow banned users, but we must assess the potential risk, otherwise we cannot cope. Archer7 (talk) 23:36, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
- Thank you very much for giving Ben this chance. And I was quite sincere when I said I would mentor him there. He has a lot to offer, but needs a hand sometimes to reign in his enthusiasm. I had a look around in December, when I made a few changes to the Santa article as an IP. I look forward to doing a bit of work there, too. Jeffpw (talk) 23:43, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
- I offer to co-mentor Ben there since I too encouraged him to create an account there. I'm sorry for all the trouble it seems to have caused there but I will be available for assistance and to answer any questions you might have. EconomicsGuy (talk) 07:02, 2 January 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks for your offer. I believe we have an handle of the job already. I hope Ben will use his chance there correctly. Regards, huji—TALK 15:15, 2 January 2008 (UTC)
- I offer to co-mentor Ben there since I too encouraged him to create an account there. I'm sorry for all the trouble it seems to have caused there but I will be available for assistance and to answer any questions you might have. EconomicsGuy (talk) 07:02, 2 January 2008 (UTC)
Few questions
Hello Jeffpw. How are you? Who is Ben? Can you please explain about the discussion above? And, I have made some contributions for Simple English Misplaced Pages. Are you a part of it? Regards, Masterpiece2000 (talk) 08:57, 2 January 2008 (UTC)
- The situation above has no relevance to Misplaced Pages now. I just joined the Simple English Misplaced Pages yesterday, and will probably be editing there for a while, at least. Jeffpw (talk) 09:16, 2 January 2008 (UTC)
Interesting graphic
on your front page. :) I've updated the articles section on the portal, do you reckon it'll be okay if I don't take off the old ones? I'll go do the same with the rest. Dev920 (Have a nice day!) 09:31, 2 January 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks for the reminder. I'll go take a look. If you're around for a few minutes, I may message you for help to see how the articles are updated. Happy New Year, honeybunch! Jeffpw (talk) 09:34, 2 January 2008 (UTC)
- Yeah, that seems fine to me. How do we restore the news articles section? I want to start updating that at least weekly. And the portal page isn't loading properly in my browser. Some things are off kilter. Jeffpw (talk) 09:36, 2 January 2008 (UTC)
- I've replaced the news section, which is currently very long and out of date. :) I moved the poctures to the centre of the page, which deals with the thing where it was going off the page, but I don't know how to center the image. I'll keep trying with that. And happy new year to yourself. :D Dev920 (Have a nice day!) 10:41, 2 January 2008 (UTC)
- Okay, all fixed up. You can update the news section by playing with it here. Dev920 (Have a nice day!) 10:51, 2 January 2008 (UTC)
- I've replaced the news section, which is currently very long and out of date. :) I moved the poctures to the centre of the page, which deals with the thing where it was going off the page, but I don't know how to center the image. I'll keep trying with that. And happy new year to yourself. :D Dev920 (Have a nice day!) 10:41, 2 January 2008 (UTC)
- Yeah, that seems fine to me. How do we restore the news articles section? I want to start updating that at least weekly. And the portal page isn't loading properly in my browser. Some things are off kilter. Jeffpw (talk) 09:36, 2 January 2008 (UTC)
arb talk page
I think that would be so on the page itself, but not on the talk page, which is for discussion purposes. If you think about it, making it 'statement by...' etc throughout would be confusing as it would be unclear what anyone would be responding to as they are writing, which normally you can indicate by a simple :: to make an indendation. The only other arb case I've chipped in on, was more on the other pages, such as http://en.wikipedia.org/Wikipedia_talk:Requests_for_arbitration/Durova/Proposed_decision and http://en.wikipedia.org/Wikipedia:Requests_for_arbitration/Durova/Workshop the talk page was mainly run just like any other talk page. But feel free to tinker with my comments- I just want it to be clear that I was responding to the bloke who posted above me.:) Merkinsmum 16:11, 2 January 2008 (UTC)
Tillie K. Fowler
This a follow-up message from our November, 2006 discussion regarding the Tillie K. Fowler article. At that time, I changed the name of the "External links" section to "References" in order to comply with Misplaced Pages's external links policy. Shortly threafter, you reverted my edit suggesting that in-line citiations should be used in the article. Since the article was non-compliant with the aforementioned policy, and citing specific in-line references would be difficult to accomplish without the assistance of User:DaveWGilliland who made substantial edits to the article, but has not edited on Misplaced Pages since January, 2007, I have recently come up with a solution to this problem. I have changed the non-compliant "External links" section header to "Sources", which acurately describes those links and complies with policy. --TommyBoy (talk) 12:11, 3 January 2008 (UTC)
- Thank you for the message. I see that this remains a problematic article. While I won't revert over it, the sources should really be inline citations. If that is not done, someone (not me) could easily come along and slap an unreferenced tag on it. I find her a sympathetic person and someone who did a lot of good in politics, and wish that we could fully source everything. I think if inline sources were put into place, and the article expanded just a bit, it could easily achieve good article status. Unfortunately, I don't have the time at the moment, If you wish, feel free to contact me with help if you decide to undertake this task yourself. Cheers, Jeffpw (talk) 14:47, 3 January 2008 (UTC)
- It appears that your prediction regarding the article being tagged has partially come true, User:Benjiboi has tagged the article for lack of in-line references. I have explained the situation regarding User:DaveWGilliland's major contributions to the article, as well as his apparent disappearance from Misplaced Pages, and how this affects our ability to properly source his contributions. --TommyBoy 04:19, 4 January 2008 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by TommyBoy (talk • contribs)
IuseRosary
IuseRosary I have no problems with. His edits have been good, he's been acting maturely, and although he does have his quirks, he is very smart and has been asking good questions and also has been asking help from me. This user is definitely one I wouldn't mind mentoring. He is welcome to stay. I am actually impressed with his newest creation Music Wikiproject. Razorflame (talk) 20:59, 3 January 2008 (UTC)
- OK, I hope you're right. If it is the same user who disrupted here, the potential for abuse is significant. Jeffpw (talk) 21:02, 3 January 2008 (UTC)
- That doesn't bother me. I doubt that it is the same user. If it was, he would've already started being disruptive by now, wouldn't he? Also, I left Iamandrewrice an ultimatum on his talk page over at se:WP. I told him that if his next edit isn't constructive, and creating a new article (and a good one at that), then I will have no choice but to add my voice into those for having him banned. Razorflame (talk) 21:05, 3 January 2008 (UTC)
- If he starts being disruptive, then I will immediately give IuseRosary an ultimatum (the same one as Ben). Razorflame (talk) 21:08, 3 January 2008 (UTC)
- He did actually make good edits here so I know he can do that. I know he likes to debate things and I know that Simple English Misplaced Pages doesn't have the time or people to deal with that so I've told him via E-mail to stop as well. As for IuseRosary I'm as concerned as Jeff but Ben has been informed (I told him to read my user page here - hence the cryptic e-mail message on his talk page). I'm keeping an eye on this but of course it is your call since it is your wiki and I've explained this to him. EconomicsGuy (talk) 21:13, 3 January 2008 (UTC)
Iraqi gays
I'm not usually surprised by LGBT human rights abuses in the Middle East, but your news item on the portal about the Iraqi government equating gays with terrorists actually really shocked me. That's disgraceful! I am so glad we live in countries where we don't have to face that. How I wish they didn't have to either... Dev920 (Have a nice day!) 23:18, 3 January 2008 (UTC)
- I'm glad to see people are reading the news portal! I was shocked, too. I plan on updating the news section almost every day. Jeffpw (talk) 23:25, 3 January 2008 (UTC)
response
late, but I responded. ⇒SWATJester 17:48, 4 January 2008 (UTC)
Spotted Owl (a different bird than A Kiwi *smiling*)
For some reason, my ability to email other members is disabled - even tho I tried several times to work out a solution....
Therefore I will leave my email addy, CricketCourage at AOL dot COM.
I am rather confused as to whether there is truly any need for my input. I am told banning is a sure thing and my input will not be of exceptional assistance. But I also read that the admins here can be counted on to be snowed and the party involved to be guaranteed to continue to garner saviors who only listen to the sad story of persecution, rather than examination of the tremendous quantity of ON WP and directly WP-related activities, thus nothing can be changed, no matter what effort I expend.
If you car to help me sort the wheat from chaff and explain how to lay it out, I am relatively certain there will be yet another opportunity arise within a year or so. Whatever work I do, I will save it online and submit it now if you feel it vital at this time, save it if you think it will help generally in the future.
Thank you again for your offer of help. Education is a forever gift.
Spotted Owl (talk) 00:55, 5 January 2008 (UTC)
- Another thought... if you would just like me to send you a terse brief list of things I suspect may be of most value. You can then select those items that show promise and I will flesh them out. And we can take it, step-wise, from there. Afterall, 6 months to 18 months down the road, my memory will not be as sharp and those other people who I have been in contact with over the past year may have changed email addresses or have gotten to the point where it is all just too painful to dredge up again.
- The long and short of it, let's go with it and if it's not used now, it will be "in the vault" in my online https:// storage facility if it's ever needed. Spotted Owl (talk) 02:30, 5 January 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks for responding. I received an email from a different address than the one above, and replied to it. If for some reason you did not get it, let me know and I will resend. I also sent a brief mail to the address above, stating the same thing. Thank you so much for contacting me, and I look forward to assisting you. Jeffpw (talk) 05:50, 5 January 2008 (UTC)
Our Mutual Friend
Our mutual friend is now up for indefinite block on the Simple English Misplaced Pages because he has been using IP addresses to evade his block. You need to email and tell him to stop, otherwise, he will be indefinitely banned. Razorflame (talk) 23:18, 5 January 2008 (UTC)
- Jeff can you e-mail him? I won't be home today and I wasn't home when they blocked him again so I'm not sure what he did this time. EconomicsGuy (talk) 08:05, 6 January 2008 (UTC)
- More disruption immediately after he was unblocked. I have already emailed him, but I doubt if it will have any effect. Jeffpw (talk) 14:51, 6 January 2008 (UTC)
- He has used no less than 7 different IP addresses with which to evade his block. See here for more information. --Gwib (talk) 21:00, 6 January 2008 (UTC)
- More disruption immediately after he was unblocked. I have already emailed him, but I doubt if it will have any effect. Jeffpw (talk) 14:51, 6 January 2008 (UTC)
Misplaced Pages:Requests for adminship/Elonka 3
Thank you for your support in my RfA. It was definitely a dramatic debate, that landed on WP:100! I paid close attention to everything that was said, and, where possible, I will try to incorporate the (constructive) criticism towards being a better administrator. I'm taking things slowly for now, partially because of the holiday season and all the off-wiki distractions. :) I'm also working my way through the Misplaced Pages:New admin school and double-checking the relevant policies, and will gradually phase into the use of the new tools. My main goals are to help out with various backlogs, but I also fully intend to keep on writing articles, as there are several more that I definitely want to get to WP:FA status! Thanks again, and have a great new year, --Elonka 07:28, 6 January 2008 (UTC)
Julie under the weather?
If she needs a hand, let me know? Time marches onward! =D -- SatyrTN (talk / contribs) 16:21, 6 January 2008 (UTC)
- Julie has been pulling an Erin Brockovich, fighting for truth and honor where she sees nothing but injustice. But have no fear, I'll give her a little encouragement, and I'm sure she'll be up and at 'em in no time! Jeffpw (talk) 16:28, 6 January 2008 (UTC)
- Yeah, we want Julie! =) Raystorm (¿Sí?) 16:44, 6 January 2008 (UTC)
Matter of warning Iamandrewrice case
Read http://en.wikipedia.org/Wikipedia:Administrators'_noticeboard/IncidentArchive336#A_message_to_Iamandrewrice I have outlined what I believe to be the real case behind this mess, I'm only getting involved because I know these people at school and they've tried to drag me into this. And I feel you should know what the hell was going on (he might come back, our area use dynamic ip's for internet). :/ Fishyghost (talk) 20:49, 7 January 2008 (UTC)
King who was his own queen
I haven't kept up on the James I case but in case you have there is a post here that seems promising. Benjiboi 07:28, 8 January 2008 (UTC)
Arsham Parsi
No problem. He seems like a solid guy. I think said "knucklehead" is probably just some homophobe. Cheers. C1k3 (talk) 18:19, 11 January 2008 (UTC)
- An Iranian government operative? I kinda doubt it (I'm sure Misplaced Pages's pretty low on Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's list of priorities ;)), but that's a little disconcerting to think about, isn't it? C1k3 (talk) 01:18, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
Realising the extent to which User:Samvak and him minions, including, but certainly not limited to, User:A Kiwi have invaded and taken over my mind, my emotions and my life over the past 9 years...
It really has been that long, and it really has been that unrelenting.
Basically, I think User:Samvak has managed to render the internet itself, at least for me, into one long running Gaslighting game.
Josef Goebbels once said that "if you tell a lie long enough it will become the truth", so User:Samvak carefully concocted a fiction of me and told it over and over again, directly and through his minions for 9 years, until nobody sees me at all, just the lies.
Believe it or not, I don't actually know most of those lies myself (beyond the poison pen mails authored by User:A Kiwi that I only finally saw since New Year), just their effects.
I am an Aspie, driven further inside myself by childhood abuse. I'm not a people person, I don't find people comforting, we aren't on the same wavelength, and besides I grew up, isolated, in a house where I would have had to be insane to trust anyone at all. So I was really a soft target, I just looked strong which must have made it so much more satisfying.
I realise that, over the past 9 years, all this stalking and lying has erroded any trace of a potential to trust people I ever had. It has also erroded all faith in myself. In spite of everything I know intellectually, about the lies that have been told and how they have worked on me it has also erroded any faith I had in myself, leaving me fully intellectually aware of who I am, and how hard I work to be realistic, honest and honorable and yet also utterly incapable of feeling or believing that anyone could ever want, like or care for me anymore.
I am losing my grip now, the breaking point came suddenly. I don't see any point in even surviving on these terms. I am sitting here wondering how I can even go on having any kind of life this way...
It's not just on the outside, it's in my head now, like brainwashing. I run from anyone who makes a move towards me now, because I am conditioned by all this to believe that everything I do or say, no matter how hard I try, will be percieved as abuse. I am conditioned by User:Samvak and his friends to see myself as someone people see as repulsive and disgusting, I am so conditioned by all this that I cannot see any reality beyond that. It's easy to do that to an Aspie, we can't read interaction intuitively and have to work it out intellectually.
The worst kind of people sense that vulnerability and put the boot in instinctively, and it snowballs. Along the way I have seen the most sadistic harpies present themselves as victims, and get away with it both because of the lies that have taken the place of my reality, and, sometimes, just "because". User:SandyGeorgia is of that kind, a blatant bully with a cavalier attitude to the truth and a driving need to dominate everyone she encounters. Weaker people just go along with it because it's easier than facing and telling the truth.
I believed in Misplaced Pages, I believed I would get a fair hearing and I was horrified, halfway through to see arbcom members actually manipulating the evidence, lying about me in their own right, and deliberately putting my health down on the line to gag me.
I don't know what User:Samvak's point was. I know User:Samvak wanted me for something, not in any caring or human way, no doubt just as a "thing" to own and control, and I turned him down, and not only that, I saw through him and refused to pretend I didn't. I defied him, and I will defy him all the way to my grave, he is loathsome, and so is his agenda, and anyone who enables it.
Realising here that there is no way I can stop all these lies reaching into the life of a very innocent person who needs me and insuring that I will never be allowed to help, and that the conditioning in my head will always make me run away from everyone I ever like, or want now. Because whatever they do or say there will always be this little voice in my head telling me that whatever they say they really despise me because I am disgusting, repulsive and pathetic. Knowing that is a lie does help when somebody goes to all the trouble of spreading lies behind my back to get that lie reinforced everywhere I turn.
It's not going to end, if anything it is shifting up a gear. People ask why I go on fighting it, there are two reasons:
a) Knowing how wrong the whole agenda is I don't have a moral option but at least TRY to oppose it. b) I can either be trapped in it and fight back, or I can just be trapped in it, there has never been a third option, which would you choose?
I hope those of you responsible are proud of your tactics and lies.
- I suggest that if A Kiwi has any allegations to make concerning myself that she take them, and her (usually creative) "evidence", without further delay, to the proper authorities, for example, the FBI. I am desperate enough to consider pleading guilty to any charge she can persuade them to bring, simply because, after that, whatever the penalty, she will never again be able to stalk me with poison pen emails, false identities, impersonation, defamation and a degree of sick obsession that, after 9 years, is truly terrifying. The effects on my mental and emotional wellbeing, as well as my, once, good name and reputation have been honestly devastating. Even if I had to serve a couple of years in prison for something I didn't do, at least, when I came out, I would finally be able to live my life free from the devastating effects of the malicious fixation of a total stranger. - Zeraeph, by IP --78.152.236.67 (talk) 13:08, 13 January 2008 (UTC)