| Revision as of 15:51, 8 January 2010 editLaser brain (talk | contribs)Autopatrolled, Extended confirmed users22,564 edits support← Previous edit | Revision as of 00:11, 12 January 2010 edit undoMoni3 (talk | contribs)Extended confirmed users27,282 edits →Murder of Teresa de Simone: oppose, with points to resolveNext edit → | ||
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| *'''Support''', all my issues have been addressed and I've combed through it again to do some fine-tuning. Thanks for all your hard work and for giving us the opportunity to read about this fascinating case. --] ] 15:51, 8 January 2010 (UTC) | *'''Support''', all my issues have been addressed and I've combed through it again to do some fine-tuning. Thanks for all your hard work and for giving us the opportunity to read about this fascinating case. --] ] 15:51, 8 January 2010 (UTC) | ||
| '''Oppose''' until the following are resolved: | |||
| * Overlinking British, part-time, barmaid, postmarked: any term that is obvious to an English reader (British), or does not add to the understanding of the article, should not be linked. | |||
| * The beginning of a sentence cannot start with a number (240, £250,000) | |||
| * Why is Southern Daily Echo in bold? | |||
| * Is there a reason for this odd capitalization mid-sentence: ''located As of December 2009''? | |||
| * Again, this seems like a disruption in sentence punctuation: ''appeal being refused. "in 1998 an inquiry... '' | |||
| * ''Hodgsons is Britain’s longest'' Isn't his name Sean Hodgson? | |||
| * While I appreciate the background of someone who apparently was a murderer, I am just as mystified why someone would inappropriately confess to a murder or 200 crimes he did not commit. What information is there on Hodgson's obviously very bad judgment to confess? | |||
| * External link to Googlemaps for Copnor Bridge in the prose should be removed | |||
| * Please make sure to follow ]. I found at least three instances of punctuation in the quotations. | |||
| I found the amount of detail impressive, and the article led me to understanding an interesting case. But in places the writing seemed choppy and per the above examples, seemed as if the article had been ravaged by edits or vandalism, leaving sentences incomplete. | |||
| Let me know if you have questions. --] (]) 00:11, 12 January 2010 (UTC) | |||
Revision as of 00:11, 12 January 2010
Murder of Teresa de Simone
- Nominator(s): Sanguis Sanies (talk) 06:54, 25 December 2009 (UTC)
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I am nominating this for featured article because... this was one of my first extensive works on wikipedia as an anon. and it became my first Good Article. Going over the article, and with the help of the peer review, I believe the article meets the criteria as one of the best articles. Sanguis Sanies (talk) 06:54, 25 December 2009 (UTC)
- All three images have fair-use rationales and alt texts. The fair-use rationale for and would IMO benefit from a more explicit explanation of "purpose of use", similar to that given for the image of the victim. --JN466 15:21, 25 December 2009 (UTC)
- They should both be updated now. Sanguis Sanies (talk) 05:49, 26 December 2009 (UTC)
Comments
- No dab links or dead external links—good.
- Alt text looks good to me after some edits.
- Ref dates are consistent ISO style
(not sure about the en dashes in place of the usual hyphens, but at least they're consistent). I see e.g. "December 12 and December 27", but they should probably be "12 December" etc. to match the rest of the Day Month Year prose dates.and prose dates are Day Month Year. 07:04, 26 December 2009 (UTC)
--an odd name 23:15, 25 December 2009 (UTC)
- Changed it back to hyphens for the ref dates. Sanguis Sanies (talk) 05:49, 26 December 2009 (UTC)
Lead review:
- The murder of Teresa de Simone was an English homicide committed in 1979 which led to one of the longest proven cases of a miscarriage of justice in British legal history. The way English is ussed in this sentance, it seems like English homicide is a special type of homicide.
- Looking at the lead, it's too short. It doesn't say how the murder was commited, where, the criminal trial, etc. It skips from him being released to the consequences.
- The last para of the lead doesn't give a clear idea where it is going. Reading the first 2/3 lines of it, I think, so what? How is this related? It is, but the connection of the case, ae. its signifigance, should be placed at the beginning not the end.
- As a result of Hodgson's appeal and the use of archived forensic evidence to solve the crime, announced that 240 other convictions were to be reviewed. Who announced this?
- The CCRC also wrote to the Director of Public Prosecutions requesting that the Crown Prosecution Service identify and review similar murder cases from the time before DNA testing was available. to identify.
- I'll be massaging the prose as I go along. As a favor for this review, can you please please please review mine? Thank you, ResMar 14:03, 27 December 2009 (UTC)
- I've had a go at making the lead a bit larger, point 5 is incorrect; to add a "to" is incorrect. Sanguis Sanies (talk) 14:52, 27 December 2009 (UTC)
- Prose
- The pub was located centrally in the city What city?
What city? Southhampton, as mentioned once in the lead, once in the infobox and once in the same paragraph two sentences before.Sanguis Sanies (talk) 15:22, 27 December 2009 (UTC)
- Part of a pair of tights... Don't link in quotes. ResMar 14:15, 27 December 2009 (UTC)
- Not clearly stated what the stuff with the blood types means. ResMar 17:29, 27 December 2009 (UTC)
- More specifically? Sanguis Sanies (talk) 03:37, 28 December 2009 (UTC)
- You talk about blood type A vs. blood type O, how he had the right blood type for the crime scene, but never say what this means, exactly. ResMar 17:11, 28 December 2009 (UTC)
- Comments - sources look okay, links checked out with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 15:14, 29 December 2009 (UTC)
- Comments It's seemingly well-written, but there are several detail items needing attention.
- "The murder ... was a homicide" You don't say.
- You've used en dashes all over the place where hyphens should be used. I fixed one but you need to go through and fix all of them. Ex. "pre-1990", "22-year-old", "full-time" and so on. Please review WP:HYPHEN and WP:DASH.
- Why is the name of the pub in italics all over the place? This and other items indicates this has not been carefully prepared with regard to WP:MOS.
- It's somewhat overlinked. Please avoid linking simple definition items and common nouns. This needs some attention.
- Great job, just needs some fit and finish. --Andy Walsh (talk) 18:17, 7 January 2010 (UTC)
- Better? Thanks for the comments. Sanguis Sanies (talk) 03:00, 8 January 2010 (UTC)
- Support, all my issues have been addressed and I've combed through it again to do some fine-tuning. Thanks for all your hard work and for giving us the opportunity to read about this fascinating case. --Andy Walsh (talk) 15:51, 8 January 2010 (UTC)
Oppose until the following are resolved:
- Overlinking British, part-time, barmaid, postmarked: any term that is obvious to an English reader (British), or does not add to the understanding of the article, should not be linked.
- The beginning of a sentence cannot start with a number (240, £250,000)
- Why is Southern Daily Echo in bold?
- Is there a reason for this odd capitalization mid-sentence: located As of December 2009?
- Again, this seems like a disruption in sentence punctuation: appeal being refused. "in 1998 an inquiry...
- Hodgsons is Britain’s longest Isn't his name Sean Hodgson?
- While I appreciate the background of someone who apparently was a murderer, I am just as mystified why someone would inappropriately confess to a murder or 200 crimes he did not commit. What information is there on Hodgson's obviously very bad judgment to confess?
- External link to Googlemaps for Copnor Bridge in the prose should be removed
- Please make sure to follow logical quotations, per the MOS. I found at least three instances of punctuation in the quotations.
I found the amount of detail impressive, and the article led me to understanding an interesting case. But in places the writing seemed choppy and per the above examples, seemed as if the article had been ravaged by edits or vandalism, leaving sentences incomplete.
Let me know if you have questions. --Moni3 (talk) 00:11, 12 January 2010 (UTC)