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Revision as of 19:50, 17 October 2011

I have to be away for a while for health reasons. Giacomo, I will miss you and other friends. If you're around, please remove image deletion templates and other undesirable stuff from this page. Bishonen, 21:44, 14 September 2011 (UTC).

Announcement

An announcement: I have momentous news for you all. Mrs Bishonen is recovering well and making good progress. She is currently sailing on my steam yacht, Scrotum IV, to the Cayman Islands, where she will recupitate at my nephew's retreat, Palazzo Splendido. In the interests of her health, I have disconected the internet, telephone and all forms of communication to the Palazzo. I personally (and only me) will attend on Mrs Bishonen and administer restorative drugs in complete seclusion. In her delirium while being most generous to me, she did murmer something about thanking you all and returning soon, but please don't try to communicate with her I absolutly forbid it. I have dumped installed the menagery in Battersea Dogs Home (where I'm sure they will soon be adopted or dealt with) so that Mrs Bishonen can have my undivided attention throughout this most painful time. Lady Catherine Rollbacker-de Burgh (the Late) (talk) 21:14, 6 October 2011 (UTC) (Mrs Bishonen's health care profesional)

Oh noes! Bishonen is being held captive by a nefarious ne'er do well! Quick! Battle the Manments! Loin the girders! Arm twos! Hang on, Bish, help is coming!!! don't give in! (and pour that "medicine" in the chamber pot!)

In all seriousness, this is very happy news. I am glad to hear she is recovering well. Thanks so much for keeping us all informed. :-) KillerChihuahuaAdvice 21:42, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

:Oh my. The poor menagerie! Not a dog in the lot of them... I am, of course, thrilled to hear that Mrs Bishonen is recovering so well. I trust those nasty hurricane thingies aren't causing any seasickness during her travels. I am sure she will enjoy the fresh air and golden sunshine at Palazzo Splendido. Risker (talk) 21:45, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

Oh! Is it only for dogs? Well that can't be helped, if these places are too lazy to open at 2am what can be done? I just opened the door of the Morris Minor and let them out. Acting Nurse Rollbacker (Senior Health Care Professional) (talk) 22:00, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

Wonderful news indeed! I've despatched cousin GZ to escort the Scrotum IV on its voyage. One can't be too careful when travelling these days. -- T-RexxS (talk) 00:02, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

We are all of course delighted at our friend's recovery. As you say, one cannot be too careful when travelling, and in fact I wish to pose a query in this regard as I shall visit Japan within the month. In light of Ms. Bishonen's health I am rather apprehensive that Bishzilla will be in an overprotective frame of mind, and am curious as to the precautions I should take upon arriving in Tokyo, should Tokyo be extant. Short Brigade Harvester Boris (talk) 03:03, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

Ahh...some get well roses for My Lady! (No, not you, Lady Catherine, you put those down! I trust those mutts you call dogs will allow Mrs. Bishonen to receive these flowers to help her recover without wetting them.) Tex (talk) 01:42, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

Hey! who are you calling a mutt? KillerChihuahuaAdvice 03:12, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

• Excellent news. And at least now one can send Mrs Bishonen a few glads without risk to one's ankles from that wretched little psycho-fish-with-legs. Elen of the Roads (talk) 08:37, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
• Thank you your Ladyship for the wonderful news. If I may ask, please do make sure that your obsolete relic of the past most splendid yacht passes all the latest seaworthiness requirements so as to maximise cruising comfort for all aboard and minimise the possibility of any untoward exposure to the sea environment. Dr.K.  10:24, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

• Little Gooch bring little balloons to get-well party! Goochy 13:21, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
• Oooooo! Ahhhh! Da da da da da! Baby Tex (talk) 13:23, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

Look, Bish! The baby's first real word. He called me DaDa!!! If that doesn't make you feel better, I don't know what will! Tex (talk) 13:26, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

I have been trying for awhile to come up with get-well wishes for posting here that would rival in creativity, amusingness, and compassion much of the rest of what I have read on this page over the past five years. I have failed, and will have to stick with extending conventional, but heartfelt, best wishes to Bishonen for a full and speedy recovery. Newyorkbrad (talk) 17:42, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

Report from the Sunshine cruise

Just to let you all know that we are making excellent progress and now are progressing at full steam through the Caribbean. Dear little Mrs Bishonen is regaining her strength and sense of humour. Only yesterday, I found her trying to launch a lifeboat completely unaided, fortunatly Stanislasz (my former plumber and now captain of the Scrotum IV) was able to carry her back to her state-room before she threw herself into the sea. We seem to have flotilla of odd creatures swiming alongside us - fortunatly when married to the late Governor General we often had marine hunting trips and I became an expert harpoonist. We are due to dock in George Town on Tuesay and then take the mule train to Palazzo Splendido - I can't tell you how excited Mrs Bishonen is becoming at the prospect - Oh and she says thanks for the flowers, but rather than waste your money on blooms, might I suggest you make donations to the Rollbacker-de Burgh Foundation (Cayman Islands). Acting Nurse Rollbacker (Senior Health Care Professional to Mrs Bishonen) (talk) 13:47, 8 October 2011 (UTC)

Dino says big "thank you" to strange lady for harpoons, very handy for picking out plumbers' tools stuck between Dino teeth. Can't wait 'til arrive in Cayman Islands (Cayman taste like chicken). -- T-RexxS (talk) 14:39, 8 October 2011 (UTC)

I am gratified to hear that your illustrious Ladyship is taking care of Bish so well. I am also encouraged by Bish's escape attempt at water recreation, as it indicates she is surely gathering even more strength. I trust that you will capably use your rollbacking superpowers to reverse any damage the ocean or the strange creatures may yet inflict on your poor excuse of a flotation device vessel, and that upon arrival at the Cayman Islands dockyards you will completely overhaul your ship before you scrap it altogether to further enhance its legendary longevity. I wish you both a splendid time at Palazzo Decrepito Splendido. At least it is known that in the bushes well-manicured gardens of such ruins splendid places all kinds of reptiles wonderful creatures great and small can be found. Is there one in the house? 13:31, 9 October 2011 (UTC)

Mrs Bishonen is missing

It is my very obligatory duty to announce that Mrs Bishonen has gone missing. Yesterday, when we docked in George Town while I was supervising the unloading of my Louis Vuitton and instructing and ordering the natives, Mrs Bishonen jumped ship, she leapt (in a very unladylike fashion) from the upper sun deck onto a loaded fruit lorry, overcame its driver, stole the vehicle and absconded. I regard such behaviour as totally unaceptable. From the outset, Mrs Bishonen has been an ungrateful patient and behaved in a manner unbecoming a lady. I have made numerous allowances on account of her being foreign and probably not of noble birth, but enough is enough - she may regard our friendship at an end. I shall retain the numerous rings and jewels, bonds and deeds that she pressed upon me (for safekeeping) as tokens of the high esteem in which I once held her. I suggest that you all keep a close look out for this criminally minded woman and report sightings of her to the relevant authorities. The Countess of Scrotum (De facto) (talk) 18:55, 13 October 2011 (UTC)

Joyous news

While Mrs Bishonen seems to remain at large and a danger to the public and herself, I have at least had joyous news from Battersea Dogs Home where new homes are now being found for most of the menagerie (that I was, so sadly forced, to abandon there) a small boy (so sweet) has taken the largest of them. The remainder are proving more difficult to re-house, but I suppose that they can always be trained ar rescue dogs or drug sniffers or something. Oh yes, I almost forgot: I have received a rather gloating post-card marked Troldhaugen (one can only think of that dreadful, clattery music) from someone claiming to be recovering Mrs Bishonen on an oiltanker sailing home - well she won't find it as comfortable as my beautiful yacht, that's all can say - and she will be surrounded by unkempt, brutish oil riggers rather than Tarquin and Simon, the refined and groomed stewards on my yacht. She won't enjoy that at all - I have no sympathy, not one little bit. The Countess of Scrotum (De facto) (talk) 09:27, 15 October 2011 (UTC)

Sigh! What a wonderful caretaker you turned out to be, Lady Catherine. Seriously, have you no security upon the mighty Scrotum that could keep an eye on Mrs. Bishonen? Are those two steroid-ridden young men in the all-to-revealing speedo suits I see entering your quarters every evening at sundown not experienced in body-guarding? I expect you will find her at Hedonism Resorts over in Jamaica. That vile place has been known to demoralize lovely young ladies such as Mrs. Bishonen before. You know how the young act when away from the prying eyes of the elders among us. Now please send Boris and Juaquin off to retrieve the poor dear. She must be quite hungover by now. Tex (talk) 17:07, 17 October 2011 (UTC)

I've just received news from Battersea that darwinbish has run away from her adopters, Mr and Mrs Fotherington-Thomas, after biting them both on the ankles while out for a walk on Wimbledon Common. I have contacted Heathrow Airport and warned them to expect trouble. --Elen of the Roads (talk) 19:50, 17 October 2011 (UTC)