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| ==Definition and psychological consequences== | ==Definition and psychological consequences== | ||
| Incel experience differs from more typically inconsistent intimacy opportunities in that chances for sexual activity other than masturbation—], cuddling, kissing, and romantic connection—are perpetually rare or nonexistent. The situation is one where partnered sexual activity almost never happens "naturally", i.e. as a result of any ] process or ] situation. Involuntarily celibate people may suffer from unusually intense ], ], and ]. In most ], ] societies, there is the additional social pressure for people in 20s or 30s age ranges to have experienced sexual interaction in some form. If the person neither has nor gains any such experience while all of his or her peers do, serious psychological consequences can result.<ref name=Donnelly/> The question of an involuntarily celibate person turning to ]s or to become the client of a ] as a means of 'breaking' the incel pattern has not been addressed by any recorded inquest in to the phenomenon, most likely due to the extreme unlikelihood of any researcher being sexologically able to discern who among such clients would otherwise be incel, and who would not |
Incel experience differs from more typically inconsistent intimacy opportunities in that chances for sexual activity other than masturbation—], cuddling, kissing, and romantic connection—are perpetually rare or nonexistent. The situation is one where partnered sexual activity almost never happens "naturally", i.e. as a result of any ] process or ] situation. Involuntarily celibate people may suffer from unusually intense ], ], and ]. In most ], ] societies, there is the additional social pressure for people in 20s or 30s age ranges to have experienced sexual interaction in some form. If the person neither has nor gains any such experience while all of his or her peers do, serious psychological consequences can result.<ref name=Donnelly/> The question of an involuntarily celibate person turning to ]s or to become the client of a ] as a means of 'breaking' the incel pattern has not been addressed by any recorded inquest in to the phenomenon, most likely due to the extreme unlikelihood of any researcher being sexologically able to discern who among such clients would otherwise be incel, and who would not. | ||
| While it may at first appear that incel is a purely individual and personal issue, there are those who point out that it does have effects on a given society at-large and constitutes a ] issue for a ] and is also a ] concern.<ref>Flocker, Michael. 2004. ''The Hedonism Handbook: Mastering the Lost Art of Leisure and Pleasure''. DeCapo Press. Cambridge, MA. (p. 129)</ref><ref>Seabury David. 1964. ''The Art of Selfishness''. Julian Messner, Inc. New York. (p.191)</ref> In the well-known case of ] ]'s ] on ], Chubbuck's involuntary celibacy is considered to be the driving force behind both her depression and suicide.<ref>{{cite web|last=D'arby |first=Travis |url=http://open.salon.com/blog/travis_darby/2009/05/05/involuntary_celibacy_adult_virginity_the_silent_killers |title=Is Abstinence More Dangerous Than Sex? |publisher=open.salon.com |date=|accessdate=2012-08-14}}</ref><ref>, '']'', August 22, 1974</ref> Incels who do not consider suicide may instead ] or turn to ]s (especially ]), whether as a substitute for sexual relations, or to anesthetize themselves sexually.<ref>Siegel, Ronald K. 2005. ''Intoxication: The Universal Drive for Mind-Altering Substances''. One Park Press. Rochester, VT. (313 pages)</ref><ref>Seabury, David. 1964. ''The Art of Selfishness''. Julian Messner, Inc. New York. (pp. 180–183)</ref><ref>{{cite web| url=http://www.heretical.com/toa/toa-s14d.html |title=Basic Sex Differences 4: Sex Substitutes |publisher=herertical.com |date= |accessdate 2012-o8-14}}</ref><ref>Wilson, Robert A. 1975. ''Sex & Drugs''. Playboy Press. Chicago. (pp. 190–212)</ref> Finally, while ] diminishes the risk of contracting ]s (STD) it may necessitate relinquishment of potential health benefits of sex.<ref>{{cite web|last=Doheny |first=Kathleen |url=http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/10-surprising-health-benefits-of-sex |title=10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex |publisher=Webmd.com |accessdate 2012-08-14}}</ref><ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.newsweek.com/id/74575 |title=Six Reasons to Have Sex Every Week |publisher=Thedailybeast.com |date= 2007-12-09 |accessdate=2012-08-14}}</ref> Somewhat relatedly, in any culture lacking liberal attitudes towards sexual expression and fulfillment, usually based upon ] principles (for example strict ] societies, ], ] and others), the effects of "enforced" lack of sex can have even worse general societal consequences. Numerous studies have indicated that excessive repression of the sexual instinct tends to increase the overall level of aggression, meaning when applied to whole populations, forbidding non-marital sex while also not being married and not having access to sexual contact in other forms may lead to higher rates of ] and ].<ref>{{cite web|last=Prescott |first=James W.|url=http://www.violence.de/prescott/bulletin/article.html |title=Body Pleasure and the Origins of Violence |publisher=Violence.de |date= |accessdate=2012-08-14}}</ref> There may also be a link between sexual repression and aggression and low-level anger at and rudeness to others, though this might be linked to underlying issues in individual cases such as ]. | |||
| ===Personality consequences=== | ===Personality consequences=== | ||
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Involuntary celibacy (colloquially incel) is chronic near-total or total absence in a person's sexuality of intimate relationships or sexual intercourse that is occurring for reasons other than voluntary celibacy, asexuality, antisexualism, or sexual abstinence. It is the psycho-social opposite of having a sex life. Incel people, despite being open to sexual intimacy and potential romance with another person and also making active, repeated efforts towards such an end, cannot cause any such end(s) to occur with any significant degree of regularity—or even at all.
Involuntary celibacy is distinct from other forms of celibacy in two major ways: First, it explicitly does not depend on choices of the celibate, and remains stable even if the person succeeds in improving his or her looks and social skills to try to attract sexual partners. Second, involuntarily celibate individuals lack intimate physical connection for very long spans of time—years or even decades at a time—while also lacking opportunities for sexual advancement in the first place, thereby making betterment of their own sexuality through accumulation of "sexual experience" impossible.
Involuntary celibacy cannot generally be explained through external personal factors—most incels, based on inquests by researchers into the population, are not physically unattractive, and most resemble in an interpersonal sense their peers who are sexually active. Although a few of the involuntarily celibate population may have discernible personality disorders that preclude current and future sexual opportunities, the small amount of research done on this subject indicates that the incel population are on the whole socially normal, otherwise healthy individuals whose frustration is merely a product of their lack of sex, and not vice versa.
Definition and psychological consequences
Incel experience differs from more typically inconsistent intimacy opportunities in that chances for sexual activity other than masturbation—physical intimacy, cuddling, kissing, and romantic connection—are perpetually rare or nonexistent. The situation is one where partnered sexual activity almost never happens "naturally", i.e. as a result of any courtship process or friend with benefits situation. Involuntarily celibate people may suffer from unusually intense loneliness, frustration, and depression. In most Westernized, sex-positive societies, there is the additional social pressure for people in 20s or 30s age ranges to have experienced sexual interaction in some form. If the person neither has nor gains any such experience while all of his or her peers do, serious psychological consequences can result. The question of an involuntarily celibate person turning to escort services or to become the client of a prostitute as a means of 'breaking' the incel pattern has not been addressed by any recorded inquest in to the phenomenon, most likely due to the extreme unlikelihood of any researcher being sexologically able to discern who among such clients would otherwise be incel, and who would not.
While it may at first appear that incel is a purely individual and personal issue, there are those who point out that it does have effects on a given society at-large and constitutes a quality of life issue for a community and is also a public health concern. In the well-known case of news reporter Christine Chubbuck's suicide on live television, Chubbuck's involuntary celibacy is considered to be the driving force behind both her depression and suicide. Incels who do not consider suicide may instead binge drink or turn to psychoactive drugs (especially hard drugs), whether as a substitute for sexual relations, or to anesthetize themselves sexually. Finally, while sexual abstinence diminishes the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases (STD) it may necessitate relinquishment of potential health benefits of sex. Somewhat relatedly, in any culture lacking liberal attitudes towards sexual expression and fulfillment, usually based upon religious principles (for example strict Sharia law societies, fundamentalist Christianity, hasidic Judaism and others), the effects of "enforced" lack of sex can have even worse general societal consequences. Numerous studies have indicated that excessive repression of the sexual instinct tends to increase the overall level of aggression, meaning when applied to whole populations, forbidding non-marital sex while also not being married and not having access to sexual contact in other forms may lead to higher rates of crime and violence. There may also be a link between sexual repression and aggression and low-level anger at and rudeness to others, though this might be linked to underlying issues in individual cases such as Asperger's.
Personality consequences
Limitations and disappointment, the indefinite postponement of sexual and romantic gratification, delay even of dating (much less marriage), and in particular the total lack of sexual experiences at key transition points during adolescence and young adulthood (things like one's kiss, "first base", petting, and one's "first time"), which are all the types of lacks that seem to be the psychological cornerstones of the involuntarily celibate condition, are often ennobled on situation comedies, in feature films, and in related media; for example, a sympathetic view of an incel male was made clear in The 40-Year-Old Virgin.
But this does not tell the complete story of involuntary celibacy, which in everyday life can in fact be actively destructive to a person's emotional and interpersonal well-being, rather than just a periodic nuisance or inconvenience, as is usually the case with relatively short-term "dry spells." Behaviors associated with involuntary celibacy can include self-absorption and an unhealthy preoccupation with sexual activities, which is a backlog of sexual arousal that can have an adverse effect on social interactions. Meanwhile, internal consequences that can have external manifestatrs in an incel person tend to follow the standard sexual frustration pattern of being tense, irritable, belligerent and to have trouble sleeping; mood swings; perpetual agitation; stress; and anxiety.
Depth and prevalence
There is some controversy, both academic and amongst involuntary celibates themselves, concerning the duration of the celibacy needed to qualify for the label of involuntary celibacy. Someone who is "single" and without sex for several relatively short stretches at a time is usually not looked upon as being involuntarily celibate. Researchers Donnelly and Burgess (see below) used a floor figure of six months of involuntary celibacy in their study design, but others apply the term only to those who have never been involved in a sexual and/or romantic relationship even once, while other opinions extend the definition to include those who get sexual opportunities extremely rarely (such as once or twice within a five-year block, or once or twice within a decade).
There is very little sexological study regarding involuntary celibacy. Prior to a self-directed study on modern involuntary celibacy initiated in 1998 by researchers from Georgia State University, there were quite literally zero publicly-searchable research-based sources on the phenomenon. Even the 1998 study was only started once a member of an online discussion group for involuntary celibates inquired about current research on the subject. The study, Involuntary celibacy: A life course analysis, was published in 2001 in the Journal of Sex Research, produced by the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality. A news article reporting on the study indicated that involuntary celibacy can lead to anger and depression. Involuntary celibacy: A life course analysis has also been included in an anthology of scholarly literature.
Very little research has been published on involuntary celibacy, and few statistics are available, although it is finding its way onto university syllabi. There has not been a more widespread study undertaken by sexologists or other sexuality scientists that could give rise to empirical data. Most of what is published scientifically and academically on the subject of celibacy focuses on voluntary and medical celibacy. Given this shortfall, incel does not appear to be taken seriously by scientific and academic communities.
The single chapter devoted to involuntary celibacy in historian Elizabeth Abbott's book The History of Celibacy bears little similarity to current use of the term. The examples cited include those living amidst skewed sex ratios caused by the death of many men in a war or preferential abandonment or abortion of females (the latter is particularly severe in China and India); prisoners; those without access to the money needed to deal with a child; those denied the right to marry by social norms like widows in certain Hindu communities or younger sisters in societies that call for the oldest to be married first; women whose families lack money for the dowries required by their society; people who would lose their jobs if they were known to be sexually active like apprentices and journeymen in certain trades in Medieval Europe, or certain Western domestic servant or educator positions prior to the previous centuries; and, also, men castrated against their will. )8
Possible contributing factors
Despite there being many theoretically plausible sources of involuntary celibacy, none can be demonstrably proven across any given sample of involuntary celibates, especially given the fact that many if not all of these possible reasons are controversial among vocal involuntary celibate themselves (see below).
- Lack of suitable social circumstances conducive to sex
- Cognitive biases and/or negative explanatory styles such as learned helplessness or fundamental attribution error
- Self-sabotaging passive-aggressive patterns
- Self esteem issues affecting one's feeling of 'normal' entitlement
- Autism spectrum disorders such as Asperger's syndrome, which are associated with impairment of social skills
- Psychological disabilities such as social phobias, social anxiety, avoidant personality disorder or post traumatic stress disorder
- The long-term effects of rape, incest and child sexual abuse may shrink the pool of suitable, sexually available partners; some victims may become sexually unavailable due to the psychological trauma inflicted on them.
- Living in rural and suburban areas with constrained sexual, romantic, and marriage patterns
- Hypergamy, a phenomenon in which men with low socio-economic positions have limited sexual opportunities
- Heterosexual men who disqualify appealing women as "relationship material" based on the stereotype that beautiful women are less likely to be faithful as girlfriends or wives, or to become good mothers, and would be the most likely to seek divorce. A man may not even pursue an exceptionally beautiful woman to begin with due to insecurity, his fear of rejection, and an assumption that she is already in a monogamous, long-term relationship. When such patterns become fixed and perpetual in a person's consciousness, involuntary celibacy is the usual result.
- Very attractive men and women who may not even be noticed and be ignored completely by members of the opposite sex who are in monogamous relationships. A Florida State University study concludes that an unconscious attentional bias serves to help men and women remain faithful to their spouses and significant others.
Commentators' perspectives
Some critics such as Henry Makow and psychologist Gary R. Brooks believe that the sexual revolution has socially conditioned men into believing that they need both the approval from and companionship of beautiful women for validation. Meanwhile, some social conservatives such as Dr. Judith Reisman claim that pornography has increased internal anxiety amongst both sexes and has made men and women feel generic and possibly worthless, leading them to become heterophobes and inevitably incel.
What tends to be overlooked in these types of commentaries is that some of the most desired men and women are, inexplicably, also among the involuntarily celibate, which makes it unlikely that pressuring women to date and/or marry less desirable men or vice versa through a sense of "duty" or obligation, as was the case before the sexual revolution, would actually in itself put a stop to the incel phenomenon, whether for men in particular or either gender generally.
In the February 16, 2012 edition of the Avenue section of The Independent Florida Alligator, writer Ryan Galloway, who is not involuntarily celibate but whose direction in life points towards similar ends, titles his piece "The 25-year-old Virgin Speaks Out about Sex and Love", arguing that the accumulation of sexual experience — and the obtaining of sexual intercourse in particular — is "not a big deal". Galloway criticizes what he sees as the over-sexualization of present-day human history, "as fiery and hot as it is," and asks: "Who said I have to experiment in order to figure out how to do things? I found some STD stats that would suggest that I don't." Given that involuntarily celibate individuals by definition are compelled by circumstance, rather than choice, towards the state of not having a sex life, Galloway's proclamations may be viewed psychoanalytically as exhibiting some or another form of self-justifying behavior, but may be significant nevertheless.
See also
- Asexuality
- Attachment theory
- Average Frustrated Chump
- Love-shyness
- Nice guy
- Sexual frustration
- Unrequited love
- Orgastic potency
References
- ^ "Involuntary celibacy: A life course analysis" D. Donnelly, E. Burgess, S. Anderson, R. Curry, J. Dillard, Journal of Sex Research 38(2), S. 159–169. (2001) (accessed December 14, 2006)
- Flocker, Michael. 2004. The Hedonism Handbook: Mastering the Lost Art of Leisure and Pleasure. DeCapo Press. Cambridge, MA. (p. 129)
- Seabury David. 1964. The Art of Selfishness. Julian Messner, Inc. New York. (p.191)
- D'arby, Travis. "Is Abstinence More Dangerous Than Sex?". open.salon.com. Retrieved 2012-08-14.
- "What Made Christine Chubbuck Want To Commit Suicide?", The Lakeland Ledger, August 22, 1974
- Siegel, Ronald K. 2005. Intoxication: The Universal Drive for Mind-Altering Substances. One Park Press. Rochester, VT. (313 pages)
- Seabury, David. 1964. The Art of Selfishness. Julian Messner, Inc. New York. (pp. 180–183)
- "Basic Sex Differences 4: Sex Substitutes". herertical.com.
{{cite web}}: Text "accessdate 2012-o8-14" ignored (help) - Wilson, Robert A. 1975. Sex & Drugs. Playboy Press. Chicago. (pp. 190–212)
- Doheny, Kathleen. "10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex". Webmd.com.
{{cite web}}: Text "accessdate 2012-08-14" ignored (help) - "Six Reasons to Have Sex Every Week". Thedailybeast.com. 2007-12-09. Retrieved 2012-08-14.
- Prescott, James W. "Body Pleasure and the Origins of Violence". Violence.de. Retrieved 2012-08-14.
- Siegel, Lee (2005-01-27). "The Moviegoer". Thenation.com. Retrieved 2012-08-14.
- "Hollywood Dateless". Tvtropes.org. Retrieved 2012-08-14.
- "Sex As Rite of Passage". Tvtropes.org. Retrieved 2012-08-14.
- "Moment Killer". Tvtropes.org. Retrieved 2012-08-14.
- "Attractiveness Isolation". Tvtropes.org. Retrieved 2012-08-14.
- Russell, Bertrand. 1970. Of Marriage & Morals. Liverlight Publishing Corporation. New York. pp. 286–291
- For many, sexless lifestyle is not a choice, Georgia State University News Release, July 24, 2001 (accessed December 14, 2006)
- Study shows that involuntary celibacy can lead to anger and depression American Association of Single People, November 12, 2001 (accessed December 14, 2006)
- Sex Matters AbeBooks.com, (accessed December 14, 2006)
- Sexuality in Society syllabus for San Francisco State University, Fall 2004 (accessed December 14, 2006)
- Sociology of Sexuality Syllabus for Washington State University, Summer Quarter, 2006 (accessed December 14, 2006)
- Elizabeth Abbot (2001). "Coerced Celibacy: Involuntary Celibacy". A History of Celibacy. New York: Da Capo Press. pp. 303–337. ISBN 0-306-81041-7.
- "Case Study: Female Infanticide". Gendercidewatch.org. Retrieved 2012-08-14.
- Tripp. "Professor Studies Effects of Female Infanticide". Elahemassumi.com. Retrieved 2012-08-14.
{{cite web}}: Text "Stephanie" ignored (help); Text "first" ignored (help) - Townhall.com: A revolution without a man to love: By Suzanne Fields
- Etcoff Nancy. 1996. Survival of the Prettiest: The Science of Beauty. Anchor Books. New York. (p. 88)
- Dobson, James (2001-07-29). "It's Not Always Smooth Sailing For The Physically Attractive". Uexperss.com.
{{cite web}}: Unknown parameter|access date=ignored (|access-date=suggested) (help) - Smith, Curt. "Are You Afraid Of Beautiful Women?". Askmen.com. Retrieved 2012-08-14.
- "Why Do Men Prefer Less Attractive Women?". Dating.lovetoknow.com. Retrieved 2012-08-14.
{{cite web}}:|first=missing|last=(help); Text "Roberts" ignored (help) - Hall, Louise (2009-02-11). "Unfaithful? No thanks, not looking". Smh.com.au. Retrieved 2012-08-14.
- "Subtle Dangers of Pornography". National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families. Retrieved 2012-08-14.
- Makow, Henry (2010-01-17). "A Male's Pathetic Appeal for Love". Henrymakow.com. Retrieved 2012-08-14.
- Brooks, Gary R. "The Centerfold Syndrome" (PDF). pastordavidrn.homestead.com. Retrieved 2013-08-14.
- Reisman, Judith (1999-02-12). "Sex revolution triggers national impotence". Wnd.com. Retrieved 2012-08-14.
- Walsh, Susan (2009-09-11). "Do Pretty Girls Have It Harder?". Hookingupsmart.com. Retrieved 2012-08-14.
- Walia, Nona (2009-11-15). "Women Prefer Nerds". Thetimesofindia.indiatimes.com. Retrieved 2012-08-14.
- Galloway, Ryan (2012-02-16). "The 25 - year old Virgin Speaks out About Sex and Love". alligator.org. Retrieved 2012-08-14.
External links
- Sexless in The City
- The Incel project Devoted to promoting awareness of involuntary celibacy