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Erotic sexual denial, also known as orgasm denial, is a sexual practice and a form of power exchange where a person is kept in the plateau phase of the human sexual response cycle for an extended length of time. This is often, but not always, done as part of BDSM, and can be thought of as a more dominant version of Orgasm control. Depending on the nature of the game, they may either be allowed an orgasm at the end (in which case, the orgasm is generally much stronger than normal), or deliberately denied one, in which case they will generally feel strong feelings of sexual frustration.

An alternative form of orgasm denial is the denial of genital stimulation, either for an extended period or separate from a scene. Lack of stimulation is ensured by using a chastity belt or other device that physically prevents touch and/or (for males) erection.

Other terms for similar practices

The basic practice of erotic orgasm denial may also be described by (or is closely associated with) the following terms:

• "Tie and tease"
• "Tease and denial"
• "Orgasm control"
• "Chastity training"
• "Ruined orgasm" (referencing the actual orgasm rather than the stimulation preceding it)

Short-term denial practices

Ejaculation denial

A so-called "ruined orgasm" occurs when a person (usually a man) is stimulated in their orgasm cycle until ejaculation (or orgasm for women) is inevitable, at which point stimulation is abruptly ceased or minimized. If ejaculation still occurs, it brings less pleasure than usual, and is considered "ruined" or "minimized", as opposed to "denied". Alternatively, the release phase (for men) might be prevented by some sort of constriction.

The man is repeatedly teased to the point of orgasm but not quite to ejaculation, causing him feelings of desperation for relief. Eventually, the teaser can choose to allow the man to ejaculate, postpone the ejaculation until a later time (denial), or deny the full experience of ejaculation, as above.

As an alternative technique, it is stated to be possible for a man to be trained to ejaculate, but to do so without achieving orgasm. This requires practice and discipline on the man's part. One key to the technique is to remove all stimulation of the penis at the exact moment when an orgasm would otherwise be achieved; the result is a full expulsion of semen but without the concommitant relief. According to websites on the subject, this technique enables a person to be kept in a state of denial indefinitely, yet maintain prostate health more thoroughly than the alternative technique of prostate milking.

Erotic denial as a form of incentivization

Erotic sexual denial, in various forms, is associated with creating a state of constant tension leading to a more pliable agreeable outlook by the denied party towards the party exercising control over their sexual outlets.

Tie and tease style activities

Extended stimulation (often whilst incapacitated and unable to avoid the stimulation, is frequently treated as an integral part of erotic denial, with the two going hand in hand.

'Tie and tease' in this context refers to the BDSM practice of restraint followed by extended stimulation. It is notable that in BDSM discussion, negotiation usually focuses on the activities which may or may not be agreed, not on the emotion generated (unless at an unacceptable level). Tie and tease style activities are inherently an intense psychological activity as well as a physical one, and the activity will often be arranged to add psychological impact by use of sensory deprivation or communication impediment (gag or blindfold), or alternatively left able to see in order to receive the impact of anticipation, or of their teaser's provocation (for example by dressing in erotic clothing, or in some cases by having sex with a third person in their restrained presence).

Long term denial

Males can be kept in denial for extended periods of up to several weeks (periods around 2 - 4 weeks each time are often quoted as being safe subject to proper skincare and regular checking), although there will be an emotional and psychological impact from the artificial suppression of such a powerful drive. However most websites also indicate that this is a long period subjectively for most people, and often informally suggest a shorter period such as 3 days or a week between release instead, especially when starting.

The long term consequences for period beyond that are unclear, most sources seem to agree that the body will spontaneously reabsorb sperm, but that the prostate fluids should be removed fully and regularly, if not through orgasm then via internal prostatic massage (known as "prostatic milking") to reduce the risk of prostate cancer and inflammation, atrophy (orgasm involves the prostate muscles) or tissue damage to the prostate. It is also said that if erection is inhibited for long periods the skin of the penis becomes less elastic which may cause pain or other difficulty in the future.

The release felt by a man as a result of prostatic milking against a background of denial, is described as long, drawn out, but not reaching a resolution phase as with normal orgasm. It is therefore said to always leave an edge of not having had full satisfaction, or a yearning for more, as opposed to the "drop" in responsiveness due to satiation after a full orgasm. For people who engage in lifestyle chastity and erotic denial, this may be desirable, since after orgasm a male is sated and released for some days of the tension which builds up with orgasm denial.

For females, the impact of long term denial seems to be mostly emotional and psychological, since there is no equivalent of prostate buildup or erection denial involved.

See also

• Chastity belt
• Prostatic milking
• Ruined orgasm
• Blue balls
• Orgasm control

References

• Addison, K. (2004). Around Her Finger.

• BDSM
• Orgasm