| Revision as of 19:33, 13 April 2006 editReywas92 (talk | contribs)Extended confirmed users, Page movers, Pending changes reviewers, Rollbackers81,139 edits →Rhinoceros Party platform← Previous edit |
Latest revision as of 12:57, 12 October 2023 edit undoTom.Reding (talk | contribs)Autopatrolled, Extended confirmed users, Page movers, Template editors3,861,616 editsm +{{Redirect category shell}}Tag: AWB |
| (604 intermediate revisions by more than 100 users not shown) |
| Line 1: |
Line 1: |
|
|
#REDIRECT ] |
|
{{Infobox_Canada_Political_Party | |
|
|
|
|
|
party_name = Rhinoceros Party of Canada | |
|
|
|
{{Redirect category shell| |
|
party_wikicolourid = Rhino | |
|
|
|
{{R from merge}} |
|
status = defunct | |
|
|
|
{{R to section}} |
|
class = fed | |
|
|
foundation = ] | |
|
|
dissolution = ] | |
|
|
party_logo = ] | |
|
|
leader = ] | |
|
|
president = | |
|
|
ideology = ] | |
|
|
headquarters = | |
|
|
int_alignment = ], ] | |
|
|
colours = | |
|
|
website = |
|
|
}} |
|
}} |
|
|
|
|
|
|
{{DEFAULTSORT:Rhinoceros Party Of Canada (1963-1993)}} |
|
The '''Parti Rhinocéros''', commonly known as the '''Rhinoceros Party''' in ], was a registered political party in ] from the 1960s to the 1990s. Operating within the Canadian tradition of political ], the Rhinoceros Party's basic credo, their so-called primal promise, was "a promise to keep none of our promises." They then promised outlandishly impossible schemes designed to amuse and entertain the voting public. |
|
|
|
|
|
The Rhinos were started in 1963 by ], "Éminence de la Grande Corne du parti Rhinoceros". In the 1970s, a group of artists joined the party and created a comedic ] to contest the federal election. Ferron (1979), poet ] (1972) and singer ] (1980) ran against ] ] in his ] seat. |
|
|
|
|
|
The party, which claimed to be the spiritual descendants of Cacareco, a ]ian ] who was ] of ]'s ] in the 1950s, listed ], a rhinoceros from the ], east of Montreal, as its leader. The party claimed that the rhinoceros was an appropriate symbol for a political party since politicians, by nature, are "thick-skinned, slow-moving, dim-witted, can move fast as hell when in danger, and have large, hairy horns growing out of the middle of their faces." |
|
|
|
|
|
==Rhinoceros Party platform== |
|
|
|
|
|
Bryan Gold of the Rhinoceros Party described the party ] as two feet high and made of wood. "My platform is the one I'm standing on." A candidate named Ted "not so" Sharp ran in ]'s ] riding with the campaign slogan "], not ]", promising to give fauna equal representation. Sharp's platform on the controversial abortion issue was clear: "If elected, I promise to never have an ]." Party member (and singer) Michel Rivard once went on TV (during free air time given to political parties) and stated: "I have but two things to say to you: Celery and Sidewalk. Thank you, good night." |
|
|
|
|
|
The Rhinos have also promised to break every promise (a platform plank they claim has been copied and put into execution by the mainstream parties) and have promised, if elected, to immediately demand a recount. |
|
|
|
|
|
Other platform promises released by the Rhinoceros Party included: |
|
|
* repealing the law of ], |
|
|
* reducing the speed of light because it's much too fast, |
|
|
* paving ] to create the world's largest ], |
|
|
* providing higher education by building taller schools, |
|
|
* instituting ], ] and ] as Canada's three official ]s, |
|
|
* offering to retrain those constituents who want to become illiterate by enrolling them in a state ]al institution, |
|
|
* tearing down the ] so that ] could see the ] sunset, or moving them one metre west as a make-work project, |
|
|
* legalising ]. And pans. And spatulas. And other kitchen utensils, |
|
|
* building sloping roads and bicycle paths across the country so that Canadians could "coast from coast to coast", |
|
|
* making all sidewalks out of rubber to prevent inebriated people from hurting themselves when they fall down |
|
|
* responding to the energy crisis, reducing energy costs for transportation by moving the cities of ] 50km west and ] 50km east, |
|
|
* abolishing pumping oil out of the ground as that oil is there to keep the earth moving smoothly on its axis and if you withdraw the oil, the whole thing will grind to a halt, |
|
|
* abolishing the environment because it's too hard to keep clean and it takes up so much space, |
|
|
* annexing the United States, which would take its place as the third territory, after the ] and the ] (] did not yet exist) in Canada's backyard, in order to raise the mean temperature of Canada by one degree Celsius, |
|
|
* replacing the Canadian Armed Forces with clones of ], |
|
|
* end crime by abolishing all laws |
|
|
* making bubble gum the national currency, so that it could be ] or deflated at will, |
|
|
* breeding a mosquito that would only hatch in January so that "the little buggers will freeze to death", |
|
|
* turning Montreal's ] into the world's longest bowling alley, |
|
|
* adopting the ] system of driving on the left; this was to be gradually phased in over five years with large trucks first, then buses, eventually including small cars and bicycles last, |
|
|
* as an energy-saving idea, putting larger wheels on the back of all cars so that they will always be going downhill, |
|
|
* selling the ] at an antique auction in California, |
|
|
* putting the national debt on Visa, |
|
|
* declaring war on ] because a Belgian cartoon character, ], killed a rhinoceros in one of the cartoons, |
|
|
* offering to call off the proposed Belgium-Canada war if Belgium delivered a case of mussels and a case of Belgian beer to Rhinoceros "Hindquarters" in Montréal (the Belgian Embassy in Ottawa ''did'', in fact, do this), |
|
|
* painting Canada's coastal sea limits so that Canadian fish would know where they were at all times, |
|
|
* counting the ] to make sure none were missing, |
|
|
* running on a ] platform in Toronto, |
|
|
* running more than one candidate per riding as an MP's salary is certainly enough to support more than one person, |
|
|
* exploiting ] as an electrical energy source by placing dissimilar-metal ]s in Canadian swimming pools in order to use them as batteries, |
|
|
* making Canadians stronger by putting ] in the water, |
|
|
* banning lousy Canadian winters, |
|
|
* moving the ] to ] to promote tourism, |
|
|
* putting the ] on wheels and rolling it to areas of the country suffering from economic depression, |
|
|
* turning the ] tunnel in Montreal into a free carwash by poking holes in the ceiling, |
|
|
* annexing Greenland and creating a ] with other northern nations in order to sell icebergs to the Saudis; the cartel would be called "Snopec", |
|
|
* digging a canal from coast to coast, by hand, to reduce unemployment; and then, leveling the Rocky Mountains and using the canal to transport the material east to fill in the Great Lakes, in order to expand Canada's landmass. |
|
|
|
|
|
The Rhino Party also declared that, should they somehow actually win an election, they would immediately dissolve and force a second election. |
|
|
|
|
|
A ] splinter group proposed running a professional ] for the position of ], breaking with the province's colonial heritage by renaming "British Columbia" to "La La Land", moving the provincial capital, and merging with the ] so as not to split the silly vote. |
|
|
|
|
|
Despite the obvious appeal of banning winter, the Rhinoceros Party never succeeded in winning a seat in ]. In the ], however, the party won the fourth-largest number of votes, after the three main political parties, but ahead of several well-established minor parties. Rhino candidates sometimes came in second in certain ], humiliating traditional Canadian parties in the process. In the ], for instance, the Rhinoceros party nominated a professional clown/comedian named Sonia "Chatouille" Côté ('chatouille' means tickles in French) in the Laurier riding in Montréal. Côté came in second place, after the successful ] candidate, but ahead of both other major parties: the third place ], and the fourth-place Progressive Conservative candidate. Chatouille received almost twice as many votes as the PC candidate. |
|
|
|
|
|
Early in the party's history, when it was mainly composed of French-speaking Québécois, they chose as their official translator a party member who was the only unilingual anglophone party member at the time. |
|
|
|
|
|
Although not recognized in the United States, former baseball pitcher ] ran for President of the United States in ] on the Rhinoceros Party ticket. |
|
|
|
|
|
==Political successors== |
|
|
|
|
|
The party abstained from the ] while they questioned the constitutionality of new rules that required the party to run candidates in at least 50 ridings at a cost of $1,000 per candidature. On ], ], Canada's ], ], refused to accept the party's abstention and ordered the removal of the Rhinoceros Party from the Registry of Canadian Political Parties, effectively eliminating them from the Canadian political system. |
|
|
|
|
|
Kingsley also directed the party's official agent, Charlie (le Concierge) McKenzie, to liquidate all party assets and return any revenues to the Receiver General of Canada. On instructions from the party, McKenzie refused. After two years of threatening letters, Ottawa refused to prosecute McKenzie, who now claims to hold the distinction of being Canada's "least-wanted fugitive". |
|
|
|
|
|
], a prominent Rhino, later started another political movement, the ]. The entartistes attracted attention in the 1990s by planting cream pies in the faces of various Canadian politicians. |
|
|
|
|
|
Other Rhinoceros Party members founded the ] (Lemon Party), which attempted to bring a similar perspective to provincial politics in Quebec, with much less success. Recently however, the Parti Citron became a federal party, and has enjoyed widespread support from silly people nationwide. |
|
|
|
|
|
In 2001, Brian "Godzilla" Salmi, who received his nickname because of the ] suit he wore while campaigning, tried to revive the Rhinoceros Party to contest the ]. While they pulled some pranks that earned some media coverage, only two of their candidates (Liar Liar - Vancouver Mt. Pleasant and Helvis - Vancouver Burrard) appeared on the ballots, as the party claimed the $100 candidate registration fee was a financial hardship. The party disbanded shortly thereafter. |
|
|
|
|
|
More recently, the ] has attempted to revive the traditions of political satire that the Rhinoceros Party originated. This new group, however, was related to the Rhinos only in spirit. |
|
|
|
|
|
=== Electoral results === |
|
|
{| class="wikitable" |
|
|
! Election |
|
|
! # of candidates nominated |
|
|
! # of seats won |
|
|
! # of total votes |
|
|
! % of popular vote |
|
|
|- |
|
|
! ] |
|
|
| <center> 1 |
|
|
| <center> 0 |
|
|
| <center> 321 |
|
|
| <center> 0.00% |
|
|
|- |
|
|
! ] |
|
|
| <center> 2 |
|
|
| <center> 0 |
|
|
| <center> 5,802 |
|
|
| <center> 0.07% |
|
|
|- |
|
|
! ] (1) |
|
|
| <center> 1 |
|
|
| <center> 0 |
|
|
| <center> 1,565 |
|
|
| <center> 0.02% |
|
|
|- |
|
|
! ] |
|
|
| <center> 63 |
|
|
| <center> 0 |
|
|
| <center> 62,601 |
|
|
| <center> 0.55% |
|
|
|- |
|
|
! ] |
|
|
| <center> 121 |
|
|
| <center> 0 |
|
|
| <center> 110,286 |
|
|
| <center> 1.01% |
|
|
|- |
|
|
! ] |
|
|
| <center> 88 |
|
|
| <center> 0 |
|
|
| <center> 98,171 |
|
|
| <center> 0.78% |
|
|
|- |
|
|
! ] |
|
|
| <center> 74 |
|
|
| <center> 0 |
|
|
| <center> 52,173 |
|
|
| <center> 0.40% |
|
|
|} |
|
|
|
|
|
'''Note:''' |
|
|
|
|
|
(1) The Rhinoceros Party ran 12 candidates in the 1972 election, but was not recognized as a registered party by Elections Canada, and therefore its candidates were listed as independents. (Source: ], October 31, 1972.) |
|
|
|
|
|
== External links == |
|
|
* |
|
|
* |
|
|
|
|
|
==See also== |
|
|
* ] |
|
|
|
|
|
] |
|
] |
|
] |
|
] |
|
|
] |
|
|
|
|
|
] |
|
] |
|
|
|
] |
|
] |
|