| Revision as of 21:21, 13 April 2006 editReywas92 (talk | contribs)Extended confirmed users, Page movers, Pending changes reviewers, Rollbackers81,139 edits →Season 6← Previous edit |
Latest revision as of 14:19, 1 February 2023 edit undoQwerfjkl (talk | contribs)Extended confirmed users, Page movers, Rollbackers212,889 editsm Converting {{Wikidata redirect}} to {{R with Wikidata item}}. {{Wikidata redirect}} should only be used on soft redirects.Tag: PAWS [2.1] |
| (353 intermediate revisions by more than 100 users not shown) |
| Line 1: |
Line 1: |
|
|
#REDIRECT ] |
|
] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
The '''chalkboard gag''' is a ] that occurs during the ] of many episodes of '']''. In this gag, ] is frowning while he writes a unique phrase on the ] repeatedly; when the school bell rings, he immediately becomes glad, stops writing and runs out of the classroom. The phrase is usually in the form of an admonishment, implying that Bart has been assigned this task as punishment in ]. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
{{R cat shell| |
|
In the early days of the series, a chalkboard gag was used in almost every episode, but, as ] time has increased, they have gradually disappeared. They are now shown as rarely as twice per season. The show's producers have said that they may soon disappear altogether. |
|
|
|
{{R to section}} |
|
|
|
|
|
{{R with Wikidata item|10749859}} |
|
== Chalkboard gags == |
|
|
|
}} |
|
|
|
|
=== Season 1 === |
|
|
|
|
|
* I will not waste chalk |
|
|
* I will not skateboard in the halls |
|
|
* I will not burp in class |
|
|
* I will not instigate revolution |
|
|
* I will not draw naked ladies in class |
|
|
* I did not see Elvis |
|
|
**(he means he didn't see ]) |
|
|
* I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes" |
|
|
* Garlic Gum is not funny |
|
|
* They are laughing at me, not with me |
|
|
* I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom |
|
|
** (a reference to "]", a phrase used describing limits on ]) |
|
|
|
|
|
=== Season 2 === |
|
|
|
|
|
* I will not encourage others to ] |
|
|
* I will not fake my way through life |
|
|
* ] is not a plaything |
|
|
* I will not ] my butt |
|
|
* It's ], not ] |
|
|
** (a reference to ]'s infamous misspelling of the word at an ] ]) |
|
|
* I will not trade ] with others |
|
|
* I am not a 32 year old woman |
|
|
** (a reference to ], the actress who provides the voice of Bart) |
|
|
* I will not do that thing with my ] |
|
|
* I will not drive the principal's ] |
|
|
* I will not ] to Bart |
|
|
* I will not sell school property |
|
|
* I will not cut corners |
|
|
** (followed by a line of ] signs) |
|
|
* I will not get very far with this attitude |
|
|
* I will not make ] noises in class |
|
|
* I will not ] the ] |
|
|
* I will not sell land in ] |
|
|
** (a reference to the ]) |
|
|
* I will not grease the monkey bars |
|
|
* I will not hide behind the ] |
|
|
* I will not do anything bad ever again |
|
|
* I will not show off |
|
|
** (written in '']'' style ]) |
|
|
* I will not sleep through my education |
|
|
|
|
|
=== Season 3 === |
|
|
|
|
|
* I am not a ] |
|
|
* Spitwads are not ] |
|
|
* Nobody likes ] slappers |
|
|
* High explosives and school don't mix |
|
|
* I will not bribe ] |
|
|
* I will not squeak chalk |
|
|
** (which the chalk is heard squeaking as he writes) |
|
|
* I will finish what I sta |
|
|
** (does not finish) |
|
|
* "Bart Bucks" are not ] |
|
|
** (a reference to ]) |
|
|
* I will not fake ] |
|
|
* Underwear should be worn on the inside |
|
|
* The Christmas Pageant does not stink |
|
|
* I will not torment the emotionally frail |
|
|
* I will not carve gods |
|
|
** (a reference to the ]) |
|
|
* I will not spank others |
|
|
* I will not ] |
|
|
** (for a baseball-themed episode) |
|
|
* I will not barf unless I'm sick |
|
|
* I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty |
|
|
* I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge |
|
|
* I will not conduct my own fire drills |
|
|
* Funny noises are not funny |
|
|
* I will not spin the turtle |
|
|
* I will not snap bras |
|
|
* I will not fake seizures |
|
|
|
|
|
=== Season 4 === |
|
|
|
|
|
* This punishment is not boring and pointless |
|
|
* My name is not ] |
|
|
* I will not defame ] |
|
|
** (an apology to the people of New Orleans after offending them through song in the previous episode) |
|
|
* I will not prescribe medication |
|
|
* I will not bury the new kid |
|
|
* I will not teach others to fly |
|
|
* I will not bring ] to class |
|
|
* A burp is not an answer |
|
|
* Teacher is not a ] |
|
|
* ] is not for kids |
|
|
** (each line becomes less and less legible; the last line is a scribble) |
|
|
* I will not eat things for money |
|
|
* I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call |
|
|
* The principal's ] is not a ] |
|
|
* I will not call the principal "spud head" |
|
|
* ] don't bounce |
|
|
* Mud is not one of the 4 ] |
|
|
* No one is interested in my father |
|
|
* I will not sell ] |
|
|
* I will return the ] |
|
|
* I do not have ] |
|
|
* I will not charge admission to the bathroom |
|
|
|
|
|
=== Season 5 === |
|
|
|
|
|
* I will never win an ] |
|
|
* I will never win a ] |
|
|
** (a reference to losing the Logie nomination for the ''Best Overseas Program'' category) |
|
|
* The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy |
|
|
* All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy |
|
|
** (a reference to a line from ]'s '']'') |
|
|
* I will not say "]" just to get applause |
|
|
* I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers |
|
|
* My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man |
|
|
** (a reference to '']'') |
|
|
* I will not go near the kindergarten turtle |
|
|
* I am not delightfully saucy |
|
|
* ]s are best left to the professionals |
|
|
* The ] does not end with "Hail ]" |
|
|
** (image shown on this page) |
|
|
* I will not celebrate meaningless milestones |
|
|
** (used for the 100th episode) |
|
|
* There are plenty of businesses like show business |
|
|
** (a reference to the song '']) |
|
|
* I will not re-transmit without the express permission of ] |
|
|
** (interestingly, Fox would win rights to air MLB games a few years later) |
|
|
* Five days is not too long to ] |
|
|
|
|
|
=== Season 6 === |
|
|
|
|
|
* Beans are neither fruit nor musical |
|
|
** (a reference to the childhood song '']'') |
|
|
* I will not use abbrev. |
|
|
* I am not the reincarnation of ] |
|
|
* I will not send ] through the mail |
|
|
* I will not dissect things unless instructed |
|
|
* I will not whittle hall passes out of soap |
|
|
** (possible reference to ] in '']'') |
|
|
* ] won't ] if you squeeze him hard enough |
|
|
* Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal |
|
|
* "Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice |
|
|
* ] does not mean what I think it does |
|
|
** (in You Only Move Twice, episode 3F23, Bart is placed in a remedial class when it is revealed he cannot understand the teacher's cursive) |
|
|
* Next time it could be me on the scaffolding |
|
|
* I will not hang donuts on my person |
|
|
* I will remember to take my medication |
|
|
* I will not strut around like I own the place |
|
|
* The ] man can only be pushed so far |
|
|
* I do not have ] over first graders |
|
|
* ] is not a toy |
|
|
* I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface |
|
|
* The ] does not cover burping |
|
|
* This is not a clue...or is it? |
|
|
** (] is shot by a mysterious figure in this episode. Also it turned out NOT to be a clue...) |
|
|
|
|
|
=== Season 7 === |
|
|
|
|
|
* I will not complain about the solution when I hear it |
|
|
** (the solution to ] is revealed in this episode) |
|
|
* "]" does not promote ] |
|
|
* No one wants to hear from my armpits |
|
|
* I am not a lean mean spitting machine |
|
|
* The boys room is not a water park |
|
|
* ] are not our cultural heritage |
|
|
* ] are unhealthy for children and other living things |
|
|
* I will only do this once a year |
|
|
** (a reference to the series' ]s) |
|
|
* I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist |
|
|
** (Reference to the infamous 12 inch Pianist joke, which is meant to also mean penis) |
|
|
* I am not certified to remove ] |
|
|
|
|
|
=== Season 8 === |
|
|
|
|
|
* I did not learn everything I need to know in ] |
|
|
** (a reference to the title of the book '']'' by ]) |
|
|
* I am not my long-lost ] |
|
|
* The truth is not out there |
|
|
** (in an episode ]ing '']'') |
|
|
* I am not licensed to do anything |
|
|
* I will not hide the teacher's ] |
|
|
* A fire drill does not demand a fire |
|
|
|
|
|
=== Season 9 === |
|
|
|
|
|
* I no longer want my ] |
|
|
** (a reference to the "I want my MTV" slogan from the 1980s; possibly a reference to MTV's declining popularity in recent years) |
|
|
* Everyone is tired of that ] story |
|
|
** (a reference to the urban legend that Richard Gere was injured pursuing ]) |
|
|
* I did not invent ] |
|
|
* I will not tease Fatty |
|
|
** (possible reference to the novel '']'') |
|
|
* There was no ] named "Fartacus" |
|
|
* ]'s red nose is not alcohol-related |
|
|
** (possible reference to ]'s parody of ] on ] shouting ''"We all know why the nose is red, Rudolph!"'' while making a drinking gesture) |
|
|
* Shooting ] is not an art form |
|
|
* Pain is not the cleanser |
|
|
* ] is not a ] |
|
|
* I was not told to do this |
|
|
* My butt does not deserve a website |
|
|
* I will not demand what I'm worth |
|
|
** (a reference to a salary dispute with the cast) |
|
|
* I will not set up other children in the class in gay date sites |
|
|
* I will not mess with the ] |
|
|
** (appears as part of a couch gag with the rest of the family) |
|
|
* I am not the new ] |
|
|
* I was not the inspiration for "]" |
|
|
** (aired three days after the last episode of '']'') |
|
|
|
|
|
=== Season 10 === |
|
|
|
|
|
* I will not file ]s |
|
|
* "butt.butt" is not my E-mail address |
|
|
** (originally "butt.com"; was removed because butt.com actually exists as a ] site) |
|
|
* No one cares what my definition of "is" is |
|
|
** (a reference to a quote from former president ] during the ]) |
|
|
* I will not scream for ice cream |
|
|
** (a reference to the traditional ] ''I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Ice Cream'') |
|
|
* I am not a licensed hairstylist |
|
|
* "The President did it" is not an excuse |
|
|
** (aired the day after ] was impeached) |
|
|
* My mom is not dating ] |
|
|
* Sherri does not "got back" |
|
|
** (a reference to the song "]" by ] artist ]) |
|
|
* I will not do the Dirty Bird |
|
|
** (a reference to the victory dance of the ] — interestingly Fox has the rights to air the NFC, of which the Falcons are a part) |
|
|
* No one wants to hear about my ] |
|
|
* ] are people too |
|
|
* ] is not a time of waste |
|
|
* It does not suck to be you |
|
|
* I cannot absolve sins |
|
|
* A trained ape could not teach gym |
|
|
* Loose teeth don't need my help |
|
|
* I have neither been there nor done that |
|
|
* I'm so very tired |
|
|
|
|
|
=== Season 11 === |
|
|
|
|
|
* Fridays are not "pants optional" |
|
|
* Pork is not a verb |
|
|
* I am not the last Don |
|
|
* I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize |
|
|
* I won't not use no ] |
|
|
* I can't see dead people |
|
|
** (a reference to the line "I see dead people" from the movie '']'') |
|
|
* I will not sell my ] on ] |
|
|
** (which, of course, someone did) |
|
|
* I will not create art from dung |
|
|
** (a reference to an art exhibit that had a portrait of the ] splattered with feces) |
|
|
* I will stop phoning it in |
|
|
* Class clown is not a paid position |
|
|
* Substitute teachers are not scabs |
|
|
* My suspension was not "mutual" |
|
|
* A belch is not an oral report |
|
|
* ] stops at the gym door |
|
|
* "]" is not a challenge |
|
|
* I was not touched "there" by an angel |
|
|
** (which refers to the TV show '']'') |
|
|
* I am not here on a fartball scholarship |
|
|
* I will not dance on anyone's grave |
|
|
* I cannot hire a substitute student |
|
|
* I will not obey the voices in my head |
|
|
|
|
|
=== Season 12 === |
|
|
|
|
|
* I will not plant sublimin<span style="color: green;">'''al'''</span> messa''']'''s |
|
|
** (a reference to a ] TV spot during the ] where "RAT" quickly appeared on screen as a ]) |
|
|
* I will not surprise the ] |
|
|
* I am not the ] |
|
|
* I was not the sixth ] |
|
|
* I will only provide a urine sample when asked |
|
|
* The nurse is not dealing |
|
|
* Science class should not end in tragedy |
|
|
* Network TV is not dead |
|
|
* I will not "]" |
|
|
** (a reference to a popular song at the time "Who Let the Dogs Out" by ]) |
|
|
* I will not hide the teacher's medication |
|
|
* I will not publish the principal's ] |
|
|
* The hamster did not have "a full life" |
|
|
* I will not buy a ] |
|
|
** (a reference to controversial ] granted by ] on his last day in office, many of them allegedly connected to contributions to his campaign or the ]) |
|
|
* "]" was not a sleazy piece of crap |
|
|
** (referencing the controversy surrounding the show) |
|
|
* I will not scare the Vice President |
|
|
** (reference to ]'s heart condition) |
|
|
* I will not flush evidence |
|
|
* I will not hit Paddy and Jerry with a chair |
|
|
* Genetics is not an excuse |
|
|
* Today is not ]'s day |
|
|
** (this episode aired on ]) |
|
|
* I should not be twenty-one by now |
|
|
** (references how the Simpsons don't age) |
|
|
|
|
|
=== Season 13 === |
|
|
|
|
|
* A burp in a jar is not a science project |
|
|
* Fun does not have a size |
|
|
* I am not ] on acid |
|
|
** (a reference to "]", which the creators described as "]" on acid) |
|
|
* I do not have a ] named after me |
|
|
** (at the time this episode aired, Bart actually ''did'' have a cereal named after him) |
|
|
* I will not bite the hand that feeds me Butterfingers |
|
|
** (a reference to the old ] commercials featuring characters from "]") |
|
|
* The giving tree is not a chump |
|
|
** (a reference to '']'' by ]) |
|
|
* Making ] cry is not a science project |
|
|
* ] is not a career choice |
|
|
* No one reads these anymore |
|
|
* I will never lie about being cancelled again |
|
|
|
|
|
=== Season 14 === |
|
|
|
|
|
* Fish do not like ] |
|
|
* ] did not test ] positive |
|
|
* This school does not need a "regime change" |
|
|
* ] is not a ] |
|
|
* I will not |
|
|
** (Bart then chops up the chalkboard with an axe, 300th episode special animation) |
|
|
* My pen is not a ] launcher |
|
|
* Sandwiches should not contain sand |
|
|
|
|
|
=== Season 15 === |
|
|
|
|
|
* Over forty & single is not funny |
|
|
* I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be |
|
|
|
|
|
=== Season 16 === |
|
|
|
|
|
* Beer in a milk carton is not milk |
|
|
* Poking a dead raccoon is not research |
|
|
* A booger is not a bookmark |
|
|
|
|
|
=== Season 17 === |
|
|
|
|
|
* Does any kid still do this anymore? |
|
|
* I am not smarter than the President |
|
|
* Teacher was not dumped — it was mutual |
|
|
* I will not eat things for money (reused in Homer Simpson, this is your wife) |
|
|
* I will not flip the classroom upside down (the shot of Bart writing on the chalkboard is indeed upside down) |
|
|
|
|
|
] |
|
|
] |
|