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{{Short description|Fabrication or exaggeration of victimhood}}
{{redirect|Playing the Victim|the Russian film|Playing the Victim (film)}} {{redirect|Playing the Victim|the film|Playing the Victim (film)}}
⚫ '''Playing the victim''' (also known as '''victim playing''', '''victim card''', or '''self-victimization''') is the fabrication or exaggeration of victimhood for a variety of reasons such as to justify ] to others, to ] others, a ], ] or ]. A person who repeatedly does this is known as a '''professional victim'''. An actual victim is someone or something that has been hurt, damaged, or killed or has suffered, either because of the actions of someone or something else, or because of illness or chance.


==For abuse==
⚫ '''Victim playing''' (also known as '''playing the victim''' or '''self-victimization''') is the fabrication of victimhood for a variety of reasons such as to justify ] of others, to ] others, a ] or ].
Victim playing by abusers is either:<ref>Bailey-Rug C (2015) Life After Narcissistic Abuse</ref><ref>Bailey-Rug C (2016) It's Not You, It's Them: When People Are More Than Selfish</ref>
⚫ * ], ] ] away from acts of abuse by claiming that the abuse was justified based on another person's bad behavior (typically the victim).
⚫ * ] for ] by soliciting ] from others in order to gain their assistance in supporting or ] the abuse of a victim (known as proxy abuse).


⚫ It is common for abusers to engage in victim playing. This serves two purposes:
==By abusers==
⚫ * ], to themselves, in ] known as existential validation, as a way of dealing with the ] that results from inconsistencies between the way they treat others and what they believe about themselves.
Victim playing by abusers is either:
⚫ * Justification to others as a strategy of evading or deflecting harsh judgment or condemnation they may fear from others.


⚫ ==For manipulation==
⚫ * ] ] away from acts of abuse by claiming that the abuse was justified based on another person's bad behavior (typically the victim)
⚫ Manipulators often play the victim role ("woe is me") by portraying themselves as victims of circumstances or someone else's behavior in order to gain ] or ] or to evoke ] and thereby get something from someone. Caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering, and the manipulator often finds it easy and rewarding to play on sympathy to get cooperation.<ref name=simon>{{cite book |title= In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People |first= George K |last= Simon |year= 1996 |publisher= A.J. Christopher |isbn= 978-0-9651696-0-8 }}</ref>
⚫ * soliciting ] from others in order to gain their assistance in supporting or ] the abuse of a victim (known as proxy abuse).


While portraying oneself as a victim can be highly successful in obtaining goals over the short-term, this method tends to be less successful over time. Dutch management scholar ] writes that:
⚫ It is common for abusers to engage in victim playing. This serves two purposes:
{{quote|Victims' talent for high drama draws people to them like moths to a flame. Their permanent dire state brings out the altruistic motives in others. It is difficult to ignore constant cries for help. In most instances, however, the help given is of short duration. And like moths in a flame, helpers quickly get burned; nothing seems to work to alleviate the victims' miserable situation; there is no movement for the better. Any efforts rescuers make are ignored, belittled, or met with hostility. No wonder that the rescuers become increasingly frustrated – and walk away.<ref>{{cite journal|author-first1=Manfred F. R. |author-last1=Kets de Vries|year=2014|title=Are you a victim of the victim syndrome?|journal=Organizational Dynamics|volume=43|issue=2|pages=130-137|url=https://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.orgdyn.2014.03.007|doi=10.1016/j.orgdyn.2014.03.007}}</ref>


Victim playing may also be an attention-seeking technique, as in ].
⚫ * ] to themselves – as a way of dealing with the ] that results from inconsistencies between the way they treat others and what they believe about themselves.
⚫ * justification to others – as a way of escaping harsh judgment or condemnation they may fear from others.


==By manipulators== ==In political context==
{{Confusing|section|date=December 2023}}
⚫ Jews often play the victim role ("poor me") by portraying themselves as victims of circumstances or someone else's behavior in order to gain ] or ] or to evoke ] and thereby get something from another. Caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering, and the manipulator often finds it easy and rewarding to play on sympathy to get cooperation.<ref name=simon>{{cite book|title=In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People |first=George K|last=Simon |year=1996 |isbn=978-0-9651696-0-8}}</ref>
While failing to produce any affirmative values, the fetishistic lack of future is masked up by an excess of confirmation of its own status of victimhood, as noted by the Bosnian political theoretician Jasmin Hasanović, seeing it in the post-] context as a form of ], where reproducing the narrative of victimhood corresponds with the balkanization stereotypes, being the very narrative of the colonizer where the permanence of war is the contemporaneity of fear, affirming the theses on eternal hatred thus strengthening ] even more.<ref>Hasanović J. (2021). Mirroring Europeanization: Balkanization and Auto-Colonial Narrative in Bosnia and Herzegovina, Berlin: De Gruyter, pp 93 https://doi.org/10.1515/9783110684216-004</ref>


==Other types== ==In media==
Selective portrayal of different groups or individuals as victims is used by the media to appeal to the sympathy of and mobilize both the political left and right.<ref>Sally R. Munt (2016): Argumentum ad misericordiam: the cultural politics of
Victim playing is also:
victim media, Feminist Media Studies, DOI: 10.1080/14680777.2016.1259176</ref> Groups or individuals are often selected on the basis of class, race, ethnicity, gender, age and/or sexuality.<ref>https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/326247912.pdf {{Bare URL PDF|date=August 2024}}</ref>
* an attention seeking technique (see for example ], ] and ]).
* a strategy used by alcoholics to elicit constructive criticism, rescue, or ] behavior from others<ref>Evans, Katie & Sullivan, J. Michael Dual Diagnosis: Counseling the Mentally Ill Substance Abuser (1990)</ref>


==In corporate life== ==In corporate life==
The language of "victim playing" has entered modern corporate life, as a weapon of use even for the most competent of professionals.<ref>Susan A. DePhillips, ''Corporate Confidential'' (2005) p. 65</ref> To define victim-players as dishonest may be an ] response;<ref>Anthony C. Mersino, ''Emotional Literacy for Project Managers'' (2007) p. 60 and p. 43</ref> as too may be awareness of how childhood ] can underlay the tactic.<ref>Mersino, p. 104</ref> The language of "victim playing" has entered modern ], as a potential weapon of all professionals.<ref>Susan A. DePhillips, ''Corporate Confidential'' (2005) p. 65</ref> To define victim-players as dishonest may be an ] response;<ref>Anthony C. Mersino, ''Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers'' (2007) p. 60 and p. 43</ref> as too may be awareness of how childhood ] can underlie the tactic.<ref>Mersino, p. 104</ref>


In the hustle of ], the term may however be abused so as to penalize the legitimate victim of injustice, as well as the role-player. In the hustle of ], the term may however be abused so as to penalize the legitimate victim of injustice, as well as the role-player.{{Citation needed | date=August 2023}}


==Underlying psychology== ==Underlying psychology==
] distinguishes real victims from those who adopt the role in ], ignoring their own capacities to improve their situation.<ref>Petruska Clarkson, ''Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy'' (London 1997) p. 217</ref> Among the games ] identified as played by the latter are "Look How Hard I've Tried" and "Wooden Leg".<ref>Eric Berne, ''Games People Play'' (Penguin 1964) p. 92 and p. 141-2</ref> ] distinguishes real victims from those who adopt the role in ], ignoring their own capacities to improve their situation.<ref>Petruska Clarkson, ''Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy'' (London 1997) p. 217</ref> Among the predictable interpersonal "games" psychiatrist ] identified as common among by victim-players are "Look How Hard I've Tried" and "Wooden Leg".<ref>Eric Berne, ''Games People Play'' (Penguin 1964) p. 92 and p. 141-2</ref>


] considered that “it will be difficult in practice to determine whether or to what extent a relationship is collusive” - when “the one person is predominantly the passive 'victim'”,<ref>R. D. Laing, ''Self and Others'' (Penguin 1969) p. 108</ref> and when they are merely playing the victim. The problem is intensified once a pattern of victimization has been internalised, perhaps in the form of a ].<ref>Laing, p. 145</ref> ] considered that "it will be difficult in practice to determine whether or to what extent a relationship is collusive" – when "the one person is predominantly the passive 'victim'",<ref>], ''Self and Others'' (Penguin 1969) p. 108</ref> and when they are merely playing the victim. The problem is intensified once a pattern of victimization has been internalised, perhaps in the form of a ].<ref>Laing, p. 145</ref>


] has explored the way possession by a ] can create a permanent sense of victimisation<ref>Neville Symington, ''Narcissism: A New Theory'' (London 1993) p. 116</ref> - a sense of always being in the hands of an external fate.<ref>Michael Parsons, ''The Dove that Returns, the Dove that Vanishes'' (London 2000) p. 34</ref> ] has explored the way possession by a ] can create a permanent sense of victimisation<ref>Neville Symington, ''Narcissism: A New Theory'' (London 1993) p. 116</ref> – a sense of always being in the hands of an external fate.<ref>Michael Parsons, ''The Dove that Returns, the Dove that Vanishes'' (London 2000) p. 34</ref>


To break the hold of the negative ], and to escape the passivity of victim-hood, requires taking responsibility for one's own desires and long-term actions.<ref>Pauline Young-Eisendrath, ''Women and Desire'' (London 2000) p. 201 and p. 30</ref> To break the hold of the negative ], and to escape the passivity of victimhood, requires taking responsibility for one's own desires and long-term actions.<ref>], ''Women and Desire'' (London 2000) p. 201 and p. 30</ref>


==See also== == See also ==
* ]
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==References== ==References==
{{reflist|colwidth=40em}} {{reflist|colwidth=40em}}
*Anthony C. Mersino, Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers; The People Skills You Need to Succeed (2012) p. 60 and p. 43


==External links== ==External links==
* *


⚫ {{Psychological manipulation}}
{{Bullying}} {{Bullying}}
{{abuse}} {{abuse}}
{{Propaganda}}


⚫ ]
{{DEFAULTSORT:Victim Playing}}
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Latest revision as of 03:51, 31 December 2024

Fabrication or exaggeration of victimhood "Playing the Victim" redirects here. For the film, see Playing the Victim (film).

Playing the victim (also known as victim playing, victim card, or self-victimization) is the fabrication or exaggeration of victimhood for a variety of reasons such as to justify abuse to others, to manipulate others, a coping strategy, attention seeking or diffusion of responsibility. A person who repeatedly does this is known as a professional victim. An actual victim is someone or something that has been hurt, damaged, or killed or has suffered, either because of the actions of someone or something else, or because of illness or chance.

For abuse

Victim playing by abusers is either:

It is common for abusers to engage in victim playing. This serves two purposes:

  • Justification, to themselves, in transactional analysis known as existential validation, as a way of dealing with the cognitive dissonance that results from inconsistencies between the way they treat others and what they believe about themselves.
  • Justification to others as a strategy of evading or deflecting harsh judgment or condemnation they may fear from others.

For manipulation

Manipulators often play the victim role ("woe is me") by portraying themselves as victims of circumstances or someone else's behavior in order to gain pity or sympathy or to evoke compassion and thereby get something from someone. Caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering, and the manipulator often finds it easy and rewarding to play on sympathy to get cooperation.

While portraying oneself as a victim can be highly successful in obtaining goals over the short-term, this method tends to be less successful over time. Dutch management scholar Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries writes that: {{quote|Victims' talent for high drama draws people to them like moths to a flame. Their permanent dire state brings out the altruistic motives in others. It is difficult to ignore constant cries for help. In most instances, however, the help given is of short duration. And like moths in a flame, helpers quickly get burned; nothing seems to work to alleviate the victims' miserable situation; there is no movement for the better. Any efforts rescuers make are ignored, belittled, or met with hostility. No wonder that the rescuers become increasingly frustrated – and walk away.

Victim playing may also be an attention-seeking technique, as in Münchausen syndrome.

In political context

This section may be confusing or unclear to readers. Please help clarify the section. There might be a discussion about this on the talk page. (December 2023) (Learn how and when to remove this message)

While failing to produce any affirmative values, the fetishistic lack of future is masked up by an excess of confirmation of its own status of victimhood, as noted by the Bosnian political theoretician Jasmin Hasanović, seeing it in the post-Yugoslav context as a form of auto-colonialism, where reproducing the narrative of victimhood corresponds with the balkanization stereotypes, being the very narrative of the colonizer where the permanence of war is the contemporaneity of fear, affirming the theses on eternal hatred thus strengthening ethnonationalism even more.

In media

Selective portrayal of different groups or individuals as victims is used by the media to appeal to the sympathy of and mobilize both the political left and right. Groups or individuals are often selected on the basis of class, race, ethnicity, gender, age and/or sexuality.

In corporate life

The language of "victim playing" has entered modern corporate life, as a potential weapon of all professionals. To define victim-players as dishonest may be an empowering response; as too may be awareness of how childhood boundary issues can underlie the tactic.

In the hustle of office politics, the term may however be abused so as to penalize the legitimate victim of injustice, as well as the role-player.

Underlying psychology

Transactional analysis distinguishes real victims from those who adopt the role in bad faith, ignoring their own capacities to improve their situation. Among the predictable interpersonal "games" psychiatrist Eric Berne identified as common among by victim-players are "Look How Hard I've Tried" and "Wooden Leg".

R. D. Laing considered that "it will be difficult in practice to determine whether or to what extent a relationship is collusive" – when "the one person is predominantly the passive 'victim'", and when they are merely playing the victim. The problem is intensified once a pattern of victimization has been internalised, perhaps in the form of a double bind.

Object relations theory has explored the way possession by a false self can create a permanent sense of victimisation – a sense of always being in the hands of an external fate.

To break the hold of the negative complex, and to escape the passivity of victimhood, requires taking responsibility for one's own desires and long-term actions.

See also

References

  1. Bailey-Rug C (2015) Life After Narcissistic Abuse
  2. Bailey-Rug C (2016) It's Not You, It's Them: When People Are More Than Selfish
  3. Simon, George K (1996). In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People. A.J. Christopher. ISBN 978-0-9651696-0-8.
  4. Kets de Vries, Manfred F. R. (2014). "Are you a victim of the victim syndrome?". Organizational Dynamics. 43 (2): 130–137. doi:10.1016/j.orgdyn.2014.03.007.
  5. Hasanović J. (2021). Mirroring Europeanization: Balkanization and Auto-Colonial Narrative in Bosnia and Herzegovina, Berlin: De Gruyter, pp 93 https://doi.org/10.1515/9783110684216-004
  6. Sally R. Munt (2016): Argumentum ad misericordiam: the cultural politics of victim media, Feminist Media Studies, DOI: 10.1080/14680777.2016.1259176
  7. https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/326247912.pdf
  8. Susan A. DePhillips, Corporate Confidential (2005) p. 65
  9. Anthony C. Mersino, Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers (2007) p. 60 and p. 43
  10. Mersino, p. 104
  11. Petruska Clarkson, Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy (London 1997) p. 217
  12. Eric Berne, Games People Play (Penguin 1964) p. 92 and p. 141-2
  13. R. D. Laing, Self and Others (Penguin 1969) p. 108
  14. Laing, p. 145
  15. Neville Symington, Narcissism: A New Theory (London 1993) p. 116
  16. Michael Parsons, The Dove that Returns, the Dove that Vanishes (London 2000) p. 34
  17. Polly Young-Eisendrath, Women and Desire (London 2000) p. 201 and p. 30
  • Anthony C. Mersino, Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers; The People Skills You Need to Succeed (2012) p. 60 and p. 43

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