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{{Simpsons character| |
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image=]| |
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name=Snake Jailbird| |
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gender=]| |
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hair=Brown| |
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age=38 (Born in 1968)| |
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job=], ], former ] and ]| |
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relatives= son Jeremy, brother (unnamed)| |
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appearance=]| |
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voiceactor=]}} |
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'''Prof. Jailbird''', also known as '''Chester Turley''' <!-- (Trading Card) -->, better known as '''Jailbird''' and later '''Snake''' and voiced by ], is a fictional character from ]. |
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{{Redirect category shell| |
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==Character history== |
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{{spoiler}} |
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{{R from merge}} |
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{{R from fictional character|The Simpsons}} |
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{{R to list entry}} |
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}} |
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{{DEFAULTSORT:Jailbird, Snake}} |
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Snake is ]'s resident ] felon, always getting arrested but never appearing to stay in ]. He speaks with an accent that sounds like a cross between ] and ] and keeps a pack of cigarettes rolled up in his sleeve. He is partial to fast cars and fast women, and has a knack for reckless abandon. Snake played ] at ]. He also attended ] and repaid his student loans after robbing ]'s tavern. His car's name is "Lil' Bandit", which may be a ] ], or a ] ]. It could be a reference to James Dean's so-called possessed car the "Li'l Bastard". It should be noted that the car's horn plays the opening line of the tune ''Dixie'', similar to ''The General Lee'' from the '']''. He has a son who looks just like him, and a brother (or other male relative) who looks and talks very similarly, as seen in an episode where the two run a ] game. His ex-girlfriend Gloria briefly dated ], but then came back to him. |
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He was once held captive by ] along with ] (spoof of Pulp Fiction) but was eventually rescued by ] and ]. |
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He once ran a ] scam, but could not stick to it because he did not like bothering people at home. He also wrote the books, ''The Ten Habits of Highly Successful Criminals'' and "A Criminal's Guide to Hiding in ]". |
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In a ] episode, Snake was executed based on a "three-strikes" policy. First he burned down an orphanage, then he blew up a bus full of ]s (which Snake declared was "Totally ]"), and finally he smoked in the Kwik-E-Mart. His hair was then implanted into ]'s head, but it had to be removed due to issues with the hair instilling Snake-like characteristics into Homer, e.g. seeking revenge for Snake's imprisonment & execution by murdering Bart et al. This episode was a parody of John Carpenter's 1993 made for Showtime film Body Bags, in which Stacey Keach receives a cursed hair transplant. |
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Snake's real name, according to an official trading card game, is '''Chester Turley'''. However, some of the said cards do have some silly untrue facts which means that the name could be a fake. Snake is also referred to as Jailbird by people who work on the Simpsons. |
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In the episode "]," Snake referred to himself as '''Professor Jailbird'''; it was also revealed that he was formerly an ]-type ] until ] stole his ] gold coins and he decided to take his revenge on society (convenience stores). |
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In ], it was also revealed that Snake had a son. "]" revealed that his son's name is Jeremy. The episode also reveals that Snake has custody issues with his son. Although Snake seems to have committed every crime possible, he is an extremely good father to Jeremy. He points Bart out to Jeremy, saying, "Look, there's a boy you can play with!" Bart and Jeremy play ] for the remainder of the episode. |
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==Quotes== |
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* ''(after being robbed of his ] coins by Moe)'' "Oh no! I've been robbed! Well, I'll just take my revenge on society. And by society, I mean ]." |
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* ''(after having stolen a VCR)'' "Oh no! ]!" |
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* ''(yelling at Homer, who had just driven past the prison yard in Lil' Bandit)'' "That smells like regular... She needs premium dude... PREMIUM!... DUDE!" |
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* ''(approaching the ] ] immediately after their expulsion from Springfield University)'' "Uhhh... ] ] ... W'how, I can't believe that worked" |
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* ''(on loading the Kwik-E-Mart onto the back of a ])'' "Alright, I'm taking this thing to ]!" |
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* ''(after stealing a cash register)'' "Goodbye, Student Loans Payments!" |
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* ''(after seeing ] coming after him)'' "Oh No! ]!" |
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*''(shooting at random people from atop the Kwik-E-Mart)'' "You live, you die!" ''(shoots)'' "You live, you die!" ''(shoots)'' |
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* ''(whilst in the bowling championships with Springfield police taking steps towards the pins)'' "One .. Two .. Three .... Four five six seven eight nine ten. Bye!" ''(escapes through trapdoor)' |
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*"Totally Awesome Dude!" |
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*"Dude, you ''better'' not have scratched my car!" |
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*'' (Christmas Episode after Homer steals everyone's presents, including Snake's)'' "Oh no! Now I know what it feels like to be robbed! I should, like, totally see my shrink, and rob his ass!" |
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* "Gun...check. Dollar-sign-bag...check. Powerbar...check. Ok, let's go rob this ... ''Bowling Alley''?!!! Okay...whatever" |
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* ''(when snatching something)'' "Yoink!" |
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* "Don't move! I've totally got you covered with my phaser slash cell phone!" |
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* ''(after seeing Sideshow Bob pass out from writing Bart a death letter in his own blood)'' "Use a pen ]!" |
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* ''(after Marge smashes a hole in wall of Springfield Penitentiary with her car)'' "Thanks, chick-dude!" |
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