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| {{Short description|Joke pattern pertaining to different economic systems}} | |||
| ] | |||
| ]s have been used as ] in economic ].]] | |||
| "'''You have two cows'''" is the beginning phrase for a series of ] ] definitions. "You have two cows" jokes originated as a ] of typical introductory-level ] course material examples featuring a farmer in a moneyless society, using his cattle and produce to trade with his neighbors. The examples ran along the lines of ''"You have two cows; you want chickens; you set out to find another farmer who has chickens and wants a cow"''. They were meant to show the limitations of the ] system, leading to the eventual introduction of currency and ]. The "two cows" parodies, however, place the cow-owner in a fully fledged economic system where cows are used as a ] for all ], ], ] and economic ]. The intent is often to point out flaws and absurdities in those systems. | |||
| "'''You have two cows'''" is a political analogy and form of early 20th century American ] to describe various ] systems of ]. The setup of a typical joke of this kind is the assumption that the listener lives within a given system and has two ], a very ] across countries and national boundaries. The ] is what happens to the listener and the cows in the system; it offers a brief and humorous take on the subject or locale. | |||
| A newer variant of the ] compares ] and countries. | |||
| ==Cows and economic systems== | |||
| The first "two cows" jokes were meant to compare opposing ]s such as ] and ], typically by describing how ] and ] would interfere with one's quiet enjoyment of one's cows. The jokes evolved into ] of various political, cultural, social and philosophical systems and theories. Eventually, virtually anything has come to be usable as "cow joke fodder." Newsworthy events involving actual cows (] outbreaks) have also been used as material. | |||
| ==History== | |||
| ==The early days of the Internet== | |||
| The definitions are examples of the first ] that circulated in the early days of the ]. However, the initial variants of these jokes predated the widespread adoption of the Internet and were circulating in typewritten form even by the early ]. Being such a readily understood source of humor in many cultures, "two cows" jokes became a part of the international development of the ]. The jokes are still circulated today, and are translated and quoted on many websites, in dozens of versions, with newer "definitions" added every year. ], the popular download site, is rumored to have taken its name from these jokes, rather than from ''The Ultimate Collection Of ]'' (or '']'') ''Software'' as implied by its logo, and thus alleged to be a ] of the joke. | |||
| An article in '']'' lists the following classical ones:<ref>George A. Henninger, "In Defense of Dictionaries and Definitions", ''The Modern Language Journal'', January 1944, vol. 28, pp.29-39</ref> | |||
| ==Cross-cultural humor== | |||
| *'']'': If you have two cows, the Government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. | |||
| Because of their freedom and universality of topics, "two cows" jokes are sometimes considered a good example of "cross-cultural ]". They can be concise examples (not necessarily scientific) of how different cultures can express different visions of the same political concept, by ], ], or ]. In practice, most such jokes reflect the views of outsiders to the systems being satirised. In the spirit of finding international common ground, some also see them as humorous manifestations of an underlying general scheme of ] that would compare legal or political concepts, such as the ]s of ], across cultures around the world. | |||
| *'']'': If you have two cows, Government takes both and then gives you some milk. | |||
| *'']'': If you have two cows, you keep the cows and give the milk to the Government; then the government sells you some milk. | |||
| *'']'': If you have two cows, you shoot one and milk the other; then you pour the milk down the drain. | |||
| *'']'': If you have two cows, the Government shoots you and keeps the cows. | |||
| *'']'': If you have two cows, you sell one and buy a bull. | |||
| ] mentions that such lists circulated throughout the United States since around 1936 under the title "Parable of the Isms".<ref>"500 Years of New Words", by Bill Sherk, Doubleday, 1983, {{ISBN|0-385-17902-2}}, p. 162.</ref> A column in ''The Chicago Daily Tribune'' in 1938 attributes a version involving socialism, communism, fascism and New Dealism<ref group=nb>'']ism'': You have two cows. The government takes both, shoots one, buys milk from the other cow, then pours the milk down the drain. — Cited in: {{Cite journal | url = https://books.google.com/books?id=tGSKyFVRJ_kC&q=%22You+have+two+cows.+You+sell+one+and+buy+a+bull%22&pg=PA71 | title = Vox Lycei 1939-1940 | author = Lisgar Collegiate Institute}} | |||
| ==Other cows and humor== | |||
| </ref> to an address by ] to the ] on 29 November 1935.<ref>{{cite news |title=The Class in Political Isms |newspaper=Chicago Daily Tribune |date=December 3, 1938 |at=p.12, col.3}}</ref> | |||
| Cows themselves are a frequent subject matter of humor, involved in works such as cow ], ], and ]. Some have conjectured that the word ''cow'' may be an ], as invoked in the term "]" and the ] ]. | |||
| Richard M Steers and Luciara Nardon in their book about global economy use the "two cows" metaphor to illustrate the ]. They write that ] are considered funny because they are "realistic but exaggerated ]s" of various cultures, and the pervasiveness of such jokes stems from the significant cultural differences. Steers and Nardon also state that others believe such jokes present ]s and must be viewed with caution.<ref>''Managing In The Global Economy'', by Richard M. Steers, Luciara Nardon (2005) {{ISBN|0-7656-1551-7}}</ref> | |||
| ==External links== | |||
| * | |||
| ==Notable variants== | |||
| * - another list | |||
| Jokes of this genre formed the base of a monologue by American ] ] on '']'' in the late 1960s. Satirising the satire, he appended this comment to capitalism: "...Then put both of them in your wife's name and declare bankruptcy." This material was later used as an element of his satirical US presidential campaign in 1968, and was included on his 1968 comedy album ''Pat Paulsen for President''.<ref>{{cite web | |||
| * on ] | |||
| |url = http://www.livedailystore.com/B000069Z0Y/Pat_Paulsen_for_President.html | |||
| |title = "Pat Paulsen for President" - album info and review | |||
| ⚫ | ] | ||
| |access-date = 2007-12-18 | |||
| ⚫ | ] |
||
| |publisher = LiveDaily Store | |||
| ⚫ | ] | ||
| |quote = ...included in this collection: "Two Cows," where the various systems of government are explained with the useful illustration of two cows... | |||
| ] | |||
| }}</ref> | |||
| ⚫ | ] |
||
| === Enron scandal === | |||
| ] | |||
| The economics of the ] have been a target of the "two cows" joke, often describing the accounting fraud that took place in Enron's finances. Much of the beginning of the joke when used to describe Enron resembles the following: | |||
| ] | |||
| ] | |||
| {{block quote|] You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by your CFO who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on six more.<ref>{{cite web |title=360 Environmental |url=https://www.360environmental.co.uk/Newsletter/?id=33 |website=www.360environmental.co.uk |access-date=1 December 2022 |date=10 August 2009}}</ref>}} | |||
| ] | |||
| The ending of the joke varies in most interactions. The magazine ] in 2008 ended the joke with Enron selling one cow to buy ], that no balance sheet was provided with the annual report, and ultimately the public buying Enron's bull.<ref>{{Cite magazine |last=Sterling |first=Bruce |title=New and Improved Economic Cow Jokes |language=en-US |magazine=Wired |url=https://www.wired.com/2008/02/new-and-improve/ |access-date=2022-11-30 |issn=1059-1028}}</ref> In 2002, ] ended the joke by announcing Enron would start trading cows online using the platform COW (cows on web).<ref>{{Cite web |date=2002-02-01 |title=Enron and the Two Cows |url=https://www.power-eng.com/news/enron-and-the-two-cows/ |access-date=2022-11-30 |website=Power Engineering |language=en-US}}</ref> | |||
| ==See also== | |||
| * ] | |||
| * ] | |||
| * ] | |||
| ==Notes== | |||
| {{Reflist|group=nb}} | |||
| ==References== | |||
| {{Reflist}} | |||
| {{DEFAULTSORT:You Have Two Cows}} | |||
| ⚫ | ] | ||
| ⚫ | ] | ||
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| ] | |||
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Latest revision as of 01:51, 1 November 2024
Joke pattern pertaining to different economic systems
"You have two cows" is a political analogy and form of early 20th century American political satire to describe various economic systems of government. The setup of a typical joke of this kind is the assumption that the listener lives within a given system and has two cows, a very relatable occupation across countries and national boundaries. The punch line is what happens to the listener and the cows in the system; it offers a brief and humorous take on the subject or locale.
A newer variant of the joke cycle compares different peoples and countries.
History
An article in The Modern Language Journal lists the following classical ones:
- Socialism: If you have two cows, the Government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
- Communism: If you have two cows, Government takes both and then gives you some milk.
- Fascism: If you have two cows, you keep the cows and give the milk to the Government; then the government sells you some milk.
- New Dealism: If you have two cows, you shoot one and milk the other; then you pour the milk down the drain.
- Nazism: If you have two cows, the Government shoots you and keeps the cows.
- Capitalism: If you have two cows, you sell one and buy a bull.
Bill Sherk mentions that such lists circulated throughout the United States since around 1936 under the title "Parable of the Isms". A column in The Chicago Daily Tribune in 1938 attributes a version involving socialism, communism, fascism and New Dealism to an address by Silas Strawn to the Economic Club of Chicago on 29 November 1935.
Richard M Steers and Luciara Nardon in their book about global economy use the "two cows" metaphor to illustrate the concept of cultural differences. They write that jokes of the kind are considered funny because they are "realistic but exaggerated caricatures" of various cultures, and the pervasiveness of such jokes stems from the significant cultural differences. Steers and Nardon also state that others believe such jokes present cultural stereotypes and must be viewed with caution.
Notable variants
Jokes of this genre formed the base of a monologue by American comedian Pat Paulsen on The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour in the late 1960s. Satirising the satire, he appended this comment to capitalism: "...Then put both of them in your wife's name and declare bankruptcy." This material was later used as an element of his satirical US presidential campaign in 1968, and was included on his 1968 comedy album Pat Paulsen for President.
Enron scandal
The economics of the Enron scandal have been a target of the "two cows" joke, often describing the accounting fraud that took place in Enron's finances. Much of the beginning of the joke when used to describe Enron resembles the following:
Enronism: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by your CFO who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on six more.
The ending of the joke varies in most interactions. The magazine Wired in 2008 ended the joke with Enron selling one cow to buy a new president of the United States, that no balance sheet was provided with the annual report, and ultimately the public buying Enron's bull. In 2002, Power Engineering ended the joke by announcing Enron would start trading cows online using the platform COW (cows on web).
See also
Notes
- New Dealism: You have two cows. The government takes both, shoots one, buys milk from the other cow, then pours the milk down the drain. — Cited in: Lisgar Collegiate Institute. "Vox Lycei 1939-1940".
{{cite journal}}: Cite journal requires|journal=(help)
References
- George A. Henninger, "In Defense of Dictionaries and Definitions", The Modern Language Journal, January 1944, vol. 28, pp.29-39
- "500 Years of New Words", by Bill Sherk, Doubleday, 1983, ISBN 0-385-17902-2, p. 162.
- "The Class in Political Isms". Chicago Daily Tribune. December 3, 1938. p.12, col.3.
- Managing In The Global Economy, by Richard M. Steers, Luciara Nardon (2005) ISBN 0-7656-1551-7
- ""Pat Paulsen for President" - album info and review". LiveDaily Store. Retrieved 2007-12-18.
...included in this collection: "Two Cows," where the various systems of government are explained with the useful illustration of two cows...
- "360 Environmental". www.360environmental.co.uk. 10 August 2009. Retrieved 1 December 2022.
- Sterling, Bruce. "New and Improved Economic Cow Jokes". Wired. ISSN 1059-1028. Retrieved 2022-11-30.
- "Enron and the Two Cows". Power Engineering. 2002-02-01. Retrieved 2022-11-30.