Misplaced Pages

Revision as of 07:09, 12 March 2008

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This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous. Such material is not meant to be taken seriously.

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This is a list of the cabals which dominate Misplaced Pages, ruthlessly abusing its content for their own evil purposes. All of these cabals control the encyclopedia, and dictate its content, although it is unclear how all the different cabals can each control Misplaced Pages at once. It is likely that there is One True Cabal which secretly controls all the other cabals, but no one yet knows which cabal is this master-cabal. (Except, of course, the master-cabal members themselves.)

Many brave martyrs have risked their editing careers, nay, their very lives to expose these cabals. If you are aware of any other cabals, please add them to this list.

Active cabals

Administrator-related cabals

THE Administrator Cabal

By far the best known of all the cabals, this special cabal (a) totally exists, (b) totally opposes all reasoned arguments consisting of 88-paragraph flames justifying the use of swear words QUITE PROPERLY used to describe the WHOLLY OUT OF LINE editor who just shredded MY EXCELLENT AND THOUGHTFUL piece extolling the virtues of insert your band/album/fave group here and (c) totally should be banned. Anyone thinking otherwise will be auto-deleted by the said cabal. This cabal typically surfaces on musical group pages but can also be encountered in political zones and defending so-called (by non-Cabalites) administrator vanity pages which of course do not exist, at least according to the administrator cabal. All communications with this cabal usually end with the cabal claiming that Jimbo Wales approved our viewpoint. These sysops are the enemies of the developer cabal who attempt to destroy them.

Barbeques Cabal

This group wants to see all vandals roasted. Or skewered and turned on a spit. Failing that, at least, can wikimeetups be held at places that have good BBQ? And no, no member has ever said "Put another shrimp on the barbie". You're thinking of the Australian Cabal, which clearly would have said "prawn" anyway.

The Bathrobe Cabal

All candidates must submit a photo of themselves wearing a bathrobe, a cheesy grin and a thumbs up in the picture. Approved alternatives to the "cheesy grin" include: show of tongue stud, a look that says "Your mother," a look that says "I did your mother," the deer in the headlights look, or a look that conveys no emotion whatsoever.

Aims:

• Cancellation of compulsory education
• Creation of centers for physical love, so-called Mitfickzentralen (literally "fuckpööling centers")
• Abolition of the 5-O
• Reducing the legal voting (and drinking, and consent!) age to 12. "When was the last time a 12 year-old started an edit-war?"
• Legalization of all drugs while outlawing antibiotics and fluoride
• Re-building the Berlin Wall
• Fully protect all user talk pages is a priority
• Enforce 1RR
• Promote IPs to adminship
• Bathrobes are provided from each according to his ability, to each according to his need.

The Cabal is semi-anarchistic, although there is claim to promote a form of direct democracy. Proposed laws of the Cabal appear to support activities such as drinking, recreational drug use, and recreational sex.

- TRANSMISSION ENDS -

Big Brother's personal cabal

This cabal marks things they don't like as CRIMETHINK and vaporizes their political enem--

YOU SAW NOTHING TODAY.

Communist admin Cabal

The rougest of the rouge, this cabal of admins exists to protect the pedophilic cabal (see below).

Name-censoring Cabal

This cabal blocks users because of their usernames. The reason why they do this, according to , is because they have failed to read every single message ever posted to the mailing list.

RfA Cabal

These admins control RfA, so that only their friends are made admins. They also issue "some kind of certificate you hang on your wall, much like a diploma."

Rouge admin Cabal

These rouge admins, based on the flimisiest of grounds - policy and consensus - require not The Truth™ but what is verifiable. Do not confuse them with the Sysop Cabal. Members are known to favour the use of lipstick at all times, regardless of gender. Prerequisite to join is an existing membership of the Administrator cabal. (Note for prospective members: there is an extremely limited range of approved shades of rouge).

Non-administrator-related cabals

Aes Sedai Cabal

This cabal consists of all the Aes Sedai present in the world. Commonly believed to be the ultimate embodiment of feminist manipulation, they seek to influence Misplaced Pages in various subversive ways. It is very likely that the Grey Ajah is responsible for the creation of this cabal. They have made no efforts to conceal themselves, as they have taken the Three Oaths and are incapable of lying--meaning that one should pay strict attention to every word an Aes Sedai says so as not to be misled. It is interesting to note that the Amyrlin Seat is convinced that both a Darkfriend Cabal and an Asha'man Cabal exist, but she has yet to provide evidence of such claims.

Allegations of Apartheid Cabal

See Misplaced Pages:Allegations of allegations of apartheid apartheid

Anti-Red Faction Cabal

This "self-congratulatory" cabal, formed to destroy User:Lir, is now the mortal enemy of "the children of Lir".

Anti-Scientology Cabal

The Anti-Scientologist cabal are crack-addicted prostitutes who enjoy making fun of L. Ron Hubbard on Wikinews.

ArbCabal

This group controls the ArbCom. Cunningly, the "Arb" stands for both arbitration and arbitrary.

Atheist cabal

The Bizzare Scene Cabal

This cabal is for anyone who is an outsider, be it in the music they listen to, in the clothes they wear, or the people they date. Commercial: "Check it out!"

BLP Cabal

The newest and most vigorous cabal on Misplaced Pages. Their M.O. is to utter the phrase "BLP" as loudly and forcefully as possible before deleting supposed biographies of living people (and dead people too, strangely). They seem to be intimately familiar with the inner machinations of the ArbCabal.

Bot-owner Cabal

The bot cabal is a group of elite bot-owners which realized something: You don't need to follow the rules to be a successful editor. You just need enough resources and a clever enough algorithm.

Boy Scouts Cabal

The members of this cabal know how to tie those knots for a reason - so they can tie you up and down if you ever question the Boy Scouts of America or its policies. Fear them. They take the oath, do no harm but ignore all rules.

"CENSOROUS POV BIGOT" Cabal

This cabal was apparently opposed to editors who liked to write IN CAPITAL LETTERS often. The cabal went underground after Jimbo announced that all ABUSIVE POWER GRABS were scheduled for June, not April.

CIA Cabal

"Staffers of the Misplaced Pages online 'encyclopedia' - now one of the most dominant media websites in the entire world - show signs of being CIA-type operatives, directly engaged in US-funded propaganda operations against US citizens."

Christian Cabal

Underground cabal that uses parody and poker games to invite unsuspecting users into their lair for conversion and Lithuanian chit-chat. If encountered, smile and nod your head, but decline any offers of cool, refreshing Kool-Aid. Christian cabalists are all brain-washed and have an intuitive understanding of how to brainwash others. To them, factual material is just bait. Beware their "spirituality is the opposite of brainwashing" technique—you're being brainwashed.

Deletionist Cabal

This cabal infringes on the right of all Wikipedians to add completely unverified and speculatory material to articles. Down with deletionism! According to a witness of one of their meetings, the dogma is "Roses are red, violets are blue. In Soviet Russia, Misplaced Pages delete you!"

Developer Cabal

This cabal was first mentioned by Jimbo as a possible check on the power of the sysop cabal. There is no confirmation that it exists, but of course it does, even though it does not exist.

FARAWAY

F*d*r*l Ag*nts R*nn*ng All W*k*s And Y*h** -- protecting National Security by controlling Website content, though some "C" a plot behind it all.

Featured Article Cabal

This sinister group is dedicated to the disruption of other Wikimedia sites. Their modus operandi is to promote frivolous and trivial articles to featured article status, thereby sending vandals to create more trivial articles at Wiktionary. Somehow.

Featured Picture Cabal

The Featured Picture cabal promotes randomly selected images to appear on the Main Page. Except they claim that these images must live up to a host of arbitrarily decided upon rules to be promoted. Don't buy it. Images of less than 1000 pixels on a side get by all the time.

The FP cabal is very isolationist and invalidates votes made by perfectly good anonymous users. They invalidate logged-in, non-cabal votes by explaining that the newcomer is inexperienced in photography and the image has glaring faults, if only they were smart enough to see them. If you dare oppose a bad image, or vote for a good one, they have contacts in the administrator's cabal. Beware.

Gay Cabal

This group keeps a queer eye on all of Misplaced Pages, in addition to providing some of the best gay porn references around. The group believes everyone is gay and anyone that says they aren't, is in denial. Vandals of gay articles will be made into bottoms on sight. The group is suspected of being part of a larger gay organization called Al Gayda. Calling a member of the this group a homophobe is a compliment, obviously. Fear them!

Geographical Cabals

Cabals of one particular country.

Australian Cabal

Strewth! Led by Ta bu shi da yu Alphax fuddlemark Mark and Alphax (jointly), these bleeding "Ossies" aim to take over Wikimedia, "and hence all international commerce, and politics." It is rumored that Sarah may be secretly commanding the group. Reports indicate Sarah's prowess in the art of Vandal Whacking, especially against rogue elements of the Canadian cabal, making the Australian cabal one of the most feared but respected groups on the wiki. Their end goal is to delete the stingray, for obvious reasons.

Canadian Cabal

The enemy of the Australian cabal. Not much is known of them. It is believed that the cabal is led by Greeves.

MexiCabal

Furthering the Mexican agenda on Misplaced Pages.

Polish Cabal

This group of Polish editors pushes pro-Polish POV, with the ultimate aim of turning English Misplaced Pages into a Polish Misplaced Pages.

Texan Cabal

This cabal has its evil lair somewhere in Texas. The Texan Cabal claims to be dedicated to social bonding through nefarious and nonsensical activities, but due to the size of Texas its true intentions and activities are hard to track.

Earth Cabal

This cabal is dedicated to tagging user pages with its tag. This cabal is based on Earth, the land of global warming.

42 Cabal

This cabal is dedicated to the ultimate answer. Aims of this cabal are

• To make sure that everyone knows what 42 is
• To demand all governments make the 42 day of the year a holiday
• To make sure the article on Earth always says a whole lot more then harmless or mostly harmless
• To get people to understand that the 42 president was 42 not Bill Clinton, and that the numbering needs to be changed
• To get 42 elected president again (and to any other leadership post)
• To get Chuck Norris to endorse 42
• To make sure that no one ever is able to vandalize the page on 42

applicants must answer a quiz and be in good standing to get in.

Groupthinking cabal

This cabal also enjoys "juvenile insults", "power-tripping" and long walks on the beach.

Humanist cabal

This cabal consists of a group of forward-thinking humanists (as the un-original title of their cabal implies). They constantly strive to eliminate all entries that promote supernaturalism and religion, in the interest of preserving a progressive, secular attitude on Misplaced Pages--hence the repeated allegations that Misplaced Pages possesses a significant liberal bent. A primary facet of their belief system is that they seek to define man by classifying the species as something akin to a malformed ape. Although large in membership and far-reaching in power, they were only recently unearthed on January 10th, 2008. In retrospect, their effects on Misplaced Pages's content is quite obvious, although the elusive cabal was unable to be specifically labeled for a long time. It is suspected that this cabal was exposed by the Christian cabal. If this hypothesis is true, it is then likely that the person responsible for identifying the Christian cabal is a member of the Humanist cabal.

Inquisitorial cabal

This rather vague and non-specific cabal heinously forces users to be accountable for their edits.

Interwiki cabal

This cabal is run by en: admins who use their evil power to control other language wikis.

Indian IRC Goons' cabal

Led by the sekrit Canadian killer nurse Samir and his faithful crony Nearly Headless Nick

"IRC fairy" cabal

When they're not chatting about random nonsense on IRC, they're secretly plotting the downfall of those unwilling to join them. They have their IRC friends vote them into adminship, and occasionally for the sake of appearance do a little reverting and admining. And of course, they have wings and sparkly tights.

Ivory tower cabal

A brotherhood of historians who slavishly follow historical orthodoxy.

Japanophile cabal

Have you just been totally bewildered by a longwinded and nearly unintelligible article, peppered with pseudo-Japanese words you don't have a chance of understanding, which waxes philosophical about a minor anime plot cliché? You've stumbled across the work of the Japanophile cabal. One of the oldest and most powerful cabals, its prolificity has prompted Wikimedia Foundation founder Jimbo Wales to say, " Misplaced Pages is really, really, really strong in the area of Japanese cartoon characters. And, if you push that 'random' button, I think about 33% of what you find in Misplaced Pages is Japanese cartoon characters ". Though they are not particularly intrinsically quick to wrathfulness, a surefire way to provoke the ire of the Japanophile cabal is to challenge their knowledge of the Japanese language garnered entirely by watching undubbed Japanese cartoons with questionable fan-made subtitles. When provoked, the Japanophile cabal typically reacts by calling the offending party "baka" a lot and roleplaying various scenarios wherein the offending party is killed in a dramatic fashion.

Jokes must die cabal

This one moves stuff to WP:BJAODN for no apparent reason. Then they nominate WP:BJAODN for deletion.
Then they nominate this page for deletion. On Misplaced Pages, Cabal deletes you!

The Knights of NPOV Cabal

This cabal appears to have the declared aim of ridding Misplaced Pages of all that which is perceived by community consensus to be POV, or that might possibly appear to do so at any point, past, present or future, as a possible result of which it can appear to be what may seem to some users perhaps to be somewhat vague. It does not yet appear to be apparent to most users whether or not the cabal has done anything towards its stated or implicit aims.

Invisible Cabal

The newest cabal so far, they plan to attack other cabals and userpages with an invisible tag! They must be stopped!

Love cabal

This cabal add little hearts to the top of user's userpages to promote WikiLove, but that is just the cover story.

Mafia-style hostage-taking cabal

After assassins failed to eliminate the GodKing, this cabal was formed to take the database hostage for ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Brion has been repeatedly approached to join this cabal, but has always refused to join.

Master cabal

This shadowy group limits the influence of its enemies by locking the database from editing.

Mediation cabal

A shadowy group which censors articles in the guise of "mediation".

Megalomaniac Cabal

A group of editors, many of whom have identified themselves with power-mad names, out to take over the world. Several theories have been put forward as to how they will attempt to do this, most of them involving computer viruses and pictures of underclad actresses.

Michael Jackson Cabal

A group of radical worshipers of Michael Jackson, whose edits often hurt the article.

Mormon Smokescreen Cabal

The Neutral Point of View and No Original Research policies were actually created by Mormons editors specifically to prevent the TRUTH about Mormonism from being exposed in a clear and concise manner, or, in other words, without being encumbered by attributions to critics, after all, there are no critics, only TRUTH. The Mormon Smokescreen Cabal was first exposed on the First Vision talk page.

Musicabal cabal

Though not usually recognized as dominant, this treblesome group supports each other for adminship and featured article status. Will horn in on any situation, drum up support, and back up their position with violins if necessary (or worse, violas).

Neo-Maoist Great Proletarian cabal

This "cyber-inquisition" is at the heart of the "techno-cult of ignorance", which aims to suppress completely legitimate branches of science such as Aetherometry.

Open and friendly cabal

This cabal welcomes anyone who can "write some articles, act reasonably, don't be *too* self centered and sarcastic, join the mailing list." Obviously, It's a trap!

Pagan cabal

This group kills off articles one at a time by ritually sacrificing NPOV, presumably in some kind of unholy ceremony.

Pedophile Cabal

When you delve into exactly who the users are editing the "Internet's Encyclopedia" you find a vast pedophile cabal seeking to undermine it.

Penguin Cabal

This group is for obsessed penguin fanatics, and encourages spamming people's user pages with a penguin.

Saddam Hussein embarrassment cabal

This group of users aims to make Saddam Hussein look silly by calling him by his name. Apparently he should instead be referred to by his official presidential title.

Sandbox cabal

This cabal controls the sandbox, forcing edits to "not be offensive" and reverting them eventually anyway. Consists of some humans, but mostly a bot.

Scientology cabal

This article or section may contain links to copyright infringing works. Please edit this article to remove links to such works.

See http://www.scientology.org/

Sean Whitton cabal

The Sean Whitton cabal intends to add subliminal messages to articles in order to make the world love Sean Whitton. AdventureQuest users are the most demographically susceptible to the promotion of Sean Whitton. The cabal's influence is unknown, and no one knows to what extent it has polluted young fertile minds. It has been suggested that Sean promotes the cabal by existing. Possibly a wannabe-cabal.

Secret cabal

The members of this cabal issue "sealed proclamations" declaring that certain users are banned. Obviously members of the cabal, and admins who enforce the bans can read the proclamations, while other people cannot. Perhaps they are written in some kind of invisible ink, and cabal members are issued with special glasses to be able to read them.

Secret mailing list cabal

These people communicate exclusively by means of secret mailing lists to which only they have access. Nothing more is known about them, because no-one else can read their emails. It is highly likely that they talk about very interesting things.

Sorcerers of St. Jerome

This evil cabal is dedicated to stifling the free and open sharing of information on Misplaced Pages. One of their key tactics is to check facts in order to destroy those who oppose them. Members of this cabal are initiated into the secret rites of inter-library loans, access to public databases, how to find library parking, and the use of the magical highlighter pen. Some obsessive members have been known to commit financial suicide by purchasing rare books in order to check a footnote, which accounts for the high rate of attrition of this cabal. Their name comes from St. Jerome, patron saint of libraries—paradoxically a disputed position.

Team Peerage

This group of users exercise control over Misplaced Pages's naming conventions in a nefarious effort to ensure the proper presentation of nobles and nobility in articles. Unlike most cabals, Team Peerage operates openly from their headquarters at WP:PEER.

"There is no cabal." cabal

They wish to prove to all that there truly is no cabal and thus, they deny their own existence. This page was written and maintained by this cabal. Ignore that last sentence. It does not exist.

Uncyclopedia cabal

This is the reason Uncyclopedia exists, the freaks!

Uncyclopedia: There is no cabal

There is no cabal. End of story. Any and all protest will be instantaneously squashed by the non-existent cabal.

White-collar American cabal

This cabal, comprising all white male American editors, is particularly opposed to communism. They edit all articles related to communism in order to push their POV. It is unclear how this cabal and the communist cabals can dominate the same articles at the same time, but clearly they do. Unlike the other cabals mentioned here, this one does actually exist. Proof can be found in the ceaseless attempts to correct British English spellings into US ones, a source of much humour humor to the English.

Wikipedian Greek Chauvinist Junta

This nefarious gung (spelling intended) is actually a department of the Greek National Intelligence Service, hell-bent on optimizing the dark side of Greek history.Their uncanny ability at POV pushing is attributed to the ingenious "3-shift system" that allows them to operate 24 hours a day, while they manage to elude administrators using a dark art known only as the "secret e-mail".Rumors of their relation to a half-alien, superweapon-wielding entity known as the "Epsilon Group" remain unfounded.

Wikipedianism Cult Cabal

The sinister forces of Wikipedianism (a decidedly evil cult) are positioning themselves for taking over the world. Consider on which side you'll stand!

Inactive or defunct cabals

Esperanza Cabal

A Misplaced Pages domination project based on friendliness (they make you offers so gently that you can't refuse). Has gone into hiding after exposure.

SLG cabal

This "elitist clique of 26 users who won't let anyone else edit 'their page' or join their IRC channel" mercilessly terrorize terrorized and taunt taunted the other 4.9 million Wikipedians .

The Unknown Cabal

Although it is not known whether this cabal exists or not, this section stands as a placeholder for all the cabals yet to be discovered (or spontaneously created by bored intellectuals). This cabal is in keeping with the ancient tradition of the Athenians, who maintained an altar to the "Unknown God".

References

1. NPR summary of "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!" for 2006-11-04
2. Mailing list post 2003-July/005459 to WikiEN-l
3. Edit by User:Jacoplane on 2006-05-03 to Misplaced Pages:Requests for adminship/Lar
4. Baou - Baou.com
5. Mailing list post 2003-July/005171 to WikiEN-l
6. Mailing list post 2005-June/024945 to WikiEN-l
7. Misplaced Pages:Rouge admin
8. (User:Plato/red faction (Show, Log)
10. Mailing list post " Arbitration progress report #1 by User:The Cunctator
12. Mailing list post 2004-April/012190 to WikiEN-l
13. Mailing list post 2004-April/012241 to WikiEN-l
14. Sachs, Les (2006-04-15). "Misplaced Pages and the CIA - How US Intelligence Can Embed in Misplaced Pages, Plant Propaganda, Delete Facts, Deceive and Attack US Citizens". Banned in America. Retrieved 2007-02-21. {{cite web}}: Check date values in: |date= (help)
15. User:Averykrouse/Christian Cabal
16. Mailing list post 2003-May/003270 to WikiEN-l
17. Misplaced Pages the Movie (Motion picture script). English Misplaced Pages: Raul654. 1: This meeting of the Deletionist Cabal will now commence. First, the recitation of the club's dogma. All: Roses are red, violets are blue. In Soviet Russia, Misplaced Pages delete you! {{cite AV media}}: Unknown parameter |accessmonth= ignored (|access-date= suggested) (help); Unknown parameter |accessyear= ignored (|access-date= suggested) (help)
18. Mailing list post 2003-July/005459 to WikiEN-l
19. You do not have high enough clearance to view this document
20. Diff from 104913385 to 104903003 on article Misplaced Pages%3AVillage_pump_%28policy%29, with subsequent discussion here
21. Misplaced Pages:Requests for adminship/KFP
22. http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/03/10/dnt.ok.lawmaker.anti.gay.kwtv
23. Mailing list post " Re: How to join the cabal" by User:The bellman
24. history for Misplaced Pages:Suspected sock puppets/Ottawaman
25. Diff from 26988497 to 26988018 on article Misplaced Pages%3ARequests_for_adminship%2FFireFox
26. Diff from 29004213 to 28904384 on article User%3ABluebot
27. Polish cabal
28. User:JCarriker/TC
29. http://mail.wikimedia.org/pipermail/wikipedia-l/2004-June/033611.html
30. Misplaced Pages at Anarchopedia
31. Misplaced Pages featured in German weekly magazine
32. Diff from prev to 98412183 on article Misplaced Pages:Requests_for_comment/Sir_Nicholas_de_Mimsy-Porpington
33. Misplaced Pages:Requests for adminship/Pascal.Tesson
34. Diff from prev to 86712486 on article Misplaced Pages:Arbitration_Committee_Elections_December_2006/Candidate_statements/Questions_for_Kylu
35. Mailing list post 2004-June/013197 to WikiEN-l
36. "Not My Job: Misplaced Pages Founder Jimmy Wales". Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!. 2006-11-04. {{cite episode}}: Cite has empty unknown parameter: |episodelink= (help); Unknown parameter |serieslink= ignored (|series-link= suggested) (help)
37. Misplaced Pages:Miscellany for deletion/Wikipedia:List of cabals
38. Mailing list post 2003-July/005461 to WikiEN-l
39. Mailing list post 2005-January/018328 to WikiEN-l
40. Diff from 80703693 to 80503599 on article Michael_Jackson
41. Diff from 83613101 to 83504771 on article Michael_Jackson
42. http://en.wikipedia.org/search/?title=Talk%3AFirst_Vision&diff=146643699&oldid=146628198 Earliest extant identification of Mormon Smokescreen Cabal
43. http://en.wikipedia.org/search/?title=Talk%3AFirst_Vision&diff=153726372&oldid=153650260 Another Mormon Smokescreen Cabal reference
44. Diff from 23765038 to 23763788 on article Misplaced Pages:Requests_for_adminship/RobertG
45. Section III.6 of Misplaced Pages: A techno-cult of ignorance
46. http://mail.wikimedia.org/pipermail/intlwiki-l/2002-October/001086.html
47. Mailing list post 2004-April/012258 to WikiEN-l
48. "Corporate Sex Offenders". Perverted Justice. Retrieved 2007-03-07.
49. User:Ryulong/Penguin Cabal
50. http://mail.wikimedia.org/pipermail/wikipedia-l/2004-June/033282.html
51. Diff from prev to 85238595 on article AdventureQuest
52. Vandalism reversion on article AdventureQuest
53. Mailing list post 2004-June/013873 to WikiEN-l
54. Mailing list post 2003-June/005022 to WikiEN-l
55. Diff from prev to 2797918 on article Talk:William_Cavendish-Bentinck%2C_3rd_Duke_of_Portland
56. The little website that couldn't
57. User talk archive - User:Future Perfect at Sunrise
58. OTHITPWMEEENAE and Cult of Jimbo
59. Diff from 23799792 to 23794733 on article Misplaced Pages%3ARequests_for_adminship%2FRobertG
60. Esperanza Cabal
61. MfD Request to Crush Which Crushed SLG