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Renaissance architecture

Here is the link to your edit: . I fail to see the "obscenity" that you removed. Gzkn 09:31, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

"I fail to see the "obscenity" that"! Do you? - Do you? I find that very odd indeed! Catherine de Bourgh (Lady) 17:18, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

Headline text

Renaissance architecture

Hi Catherine! Just so you know, edit warring on Misplaced Pages is strongly frowned upon. You might want to check out Misplaced Pages's Three Revert Rule before you continue your campaign against what you consider to be obscene. --*Kat* 10:40, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

Hi Catherine??? - what sort of a greeting is that? Good morning is the accepted parlance on this page - if you don't mind....and it's Lady Catherine to you! Catherine de Bourgh (Lady) 17:13, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

You have got to be kidding me. First, it was the middle of the night when I posted that (I don't live in Misplaced Pages's timezone). Second I'm an American, and therefore, I do not recognize your title.--*Kat* 19:53, 13 December 2006 (UTC)

Your country young lady, was a great deal more civilized and better mannered when King George III was able to give you the benefeit of his wisdom. If I was your mother I would demand a refund from your Finishing school! - Catherine de Bourgh (Lady) 09:22, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

Be glad you're not my mother.--*Kat* 07:54, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

If I were your mother, young lady, you would be out finding yourself a suitable young man, not sitting pasty faced in front of a computer. All very well sitting there writing an encyclopedia - remember men don't like clever women! I have been married four times, and not one of my husbands wanted a clever woman. Remember when finding a young man, choose one who is wealthy, more stupid than you are, and in poor health. That way one has no problem with the "richer and for poorer" and does not add to the rising divorce rate. You clearly need a mother like me! Catherine de Bourgh (Lady) 10:26, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

Dear Lady Catherine,

I am in total sympathy! Some of the younger generation have no respect for natural decency! We never talked about toilet paper when we were young. And we certainly never purchased it!

--Amandajm 11:22, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

• At last a lady after my own heart, talking some sense. Catherine de Bourgh (Lady) 17:14, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

Please do not remove content from Misplaced Pages, as you did to Renaissance architecture. It is considered vandalism. If you would like to experiment, please use the sandbox. Thank you. --ArmadilloFromHellGateBridge 15:10, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

• Please don't be rude to me, young man! A sandbox? - I have never played in a sandbox in my life, and have no intention of starting now, just to humour you! Catherine de Bourgh (Lady) 17:11, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for your contribution, but we are trying to write an encyclopedia here, so please keep your edits factual and neutral. Some readers looking for a serious article might not find them amusing. Remember, millions of people read Misplaced Pages, so we have to take what we do a bit seriously here. If you'd like to experiment with editing, use the Sandbox to get started. I hope you can help us out! --ArmadilloFromHellGateBridge 18:08, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

Your advice on a small matter

I have visited the Misplaced Pages page of that certain talented gentleman closely associated with your Ladyship's country house. Although I know you are above dealing with tradesman, you may recall that his name was Vansomething. No, not that Vansomething, the other one.

What I would like your Ladyship to recall is this:- is his name pronounced like that which one does with a pot of tea? Or is it said in a similar way to a certain item of lady's undergarment which I will not be so indescrete as to mention. Or is it similar to that coarse slangish word that ignorant males use for a same-sex-sibling? Or is it perhaps pronounced like the sound a horse makes on a cold morning? Or perhaps the sound more resembles that part of the face which is immediately above the eyes?

Also, there seems a certain similarity between the names de Burgh and "Van-you-know-what". While I realise that the "de" clearly implies an association with the Norman Conquest and is a name of the highest distinction, while the other was plainly the name of a mere Dutch immigrant tradesman, I am a little concerned at the possibilities that are suggested by these similarities. Although it hardly bears consideration that your Ladyship may have had connections, "however remotely", with a man whose employment was in bricks and mortar.

--Amandajm 07:10, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

You are clearly mistaken! My own home built by my late and dearly departed husband was untouched by any architect as vulgar and theatrical as John Vanbrugh, which if I were ever so unfortunate as to wish to pronounce would be Van-bruuuuur. My own Burgh (that stupid girl Jane Austen couldn't spell) is derived from Burgher, Luca di Burgher my Norman ancestor being the inventor of a minced beef confection which he franchised to the Medici. Not that it's any business of yours! Catherine de Bourgh (Lady) 09:35, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

Your Ladship is referring to Burghley House of course! How mistaken of me! I thought for one moment that you meant West Wycombe Park which has the unmistakable style of a Colonial Military Hospital.

--Amandajm 12:53, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

If you, and those tiresome American film directors troubled yourselves to read that tedious Austen woman's ridiculously romanticised works you would know I couldn't possibly live at Burghley as it was built two huindred years too soon. One despairs of these people! Catherine de Bourgh (Lady) 13:15, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

The thing that I despise about living in these very large houses is that the food is cold by the time it reaches the table, and the bathroom is in a different wing. --Amandajm 08:12, 15 December 2006 (UTC)

• It is perfectly obvious to anyone that is not a house but a lunatic asylum. I trust that is not your home. Cold food is an easy price to pay if it gives one distance from the servants. Bathrooms and ablutions of a personal nature are not subjects I care to discuss. I hope you are not going to start talking about what the middle classes (with their limited knowledge of French) refer to as "en-suites". Are you in Australia? Catherine de Bourgh (Lady) 08:36, 15 December 2006 (UTC)

Lady Catherine,

I have been warned by a female person on this website that it does not do to give out personal information, but to satisfy your curiosity, Woop Woop is in New South Wales. You are certainly very well informed on the subject of lunatic asylums! I can assure you that I would not recognise one, if I walked in the front door! I can also assure you also that I do not have anything as middle-class as an "en-suite" in my home. We have a bath room with a bath in it. And we have a proper dunny, where a dunny should be! Out the back! No respectable family would keep anything that unseemly in the house! Would they? From my limited experience of these matters, I find it most unlikely!

--Amandajm 14:19, 15 December 2006 (UTC)

• What exactly is "whoop whoop" it sounds like a bad attack of flatulance. Very wise not to advertise yourself too strongly - but hinting at the continent is generally safe. I merely ask your location as it is interesting to know the location of one's correspondents in order not to commit a faux pas. As a rule I don't care for Australians or Australia - all those spiders, flies, snakes and other irritants. Of course the insanitation is a problem, must be very difficult for you struggling with the ants, cacti and hobbits etc. Your family - have they been in Australia long? My late husband as district magistrate often assisted many in their free passage to your shores, in this way he did his bit for the Empire - such a selfless man, sadly little thanked by those he helped so kindly. Catherine de Bourgh (Lady) 17:33, 15 December 2006 (UTC)

• • Dear Lady Catherine,

The first of my family to arrive on these shores in 1788 did much to lay the foundations of the colony; in fact, he laid the foundations for the Governor's House, the Government Store and the lock up.

Woop Woop is located just this side of the Black Stump which is somewhere between Wallerwang and Dunedoo, roughly as the crow flies (although its location is disputed and has been put north as far as Coonabarabran, south as far as Gundagai, west as far as Menindi and east as far as Wooloomoolloo.). I met my late first husband at the Dunedoo Batchelor and Spinster's Ball. Those were the days! Holidaying at Woy Woy and going down for the Annual Bong Bong Picnic Races! Our daughter, as you may suppose, was educated at Wagga Wagga.

--Amandajm 07:43, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

1788? - I don't normally communicate with families of new money, but seeing as your ancestor obviously had a large construction company - did he sail to Australia in his own yacht? I see you have a late husband too, I have belated three of mine, they were all very long suffering, my present and current husband has developed a hearing problem, but seems quite happy in his world of silence. All these odd places, where exactly was your daughter presented? Catherine de Bourgh (Lady) 11:24, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

My daughter was presented breech at the King George the Fifth Hospital, Camperdown, if you must know.

And as for my ancestor, he did not arrive in this outpost of the Empire in a yacht; he arrived aboard a ship called the Alexander . And,no, you are mistaken. He was not in the construction industry in any large way. Prior to emigration he dealt mainly in jewelry and silverware. --Amandajm 03:23, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Protocol

Madam,
I commend your ladyship's restraint in dealing with your antipodian correspondent above. Her blundering about with wayward forms of address for a person of your exhalted station makes Henry Root look like an erudite wit. References to 'your ladship' must surely cut deep, particularly now the scandal of your Great Aunt's gait and teeth has nearly faded beyond living memory. The purpose of my missive however, is to probe the particulars of another aspect of your ancestor's anatomy - namely the mother tongue of the Norman aristocracy. I am reliably informed William I issued order to the affect of 'avance - le roast beouf' whilst mid channel and I assume froggy was spoken at court for some time after. But how long - do you know? Gratefully, your obedient servant. --Joopercoopers 13:54, 3 August 2007 (UTC)

Deletion of the message

There was no need to be that aggressive. (And if you really were a friend of Jimmy "Jimbo" Wales, you would have known that a vast majority of editors, including the administrators, are volunteers and not employees of the Wikimedia Foundation, so referring to him as my boss is not really correct.) I have restored the page, but I have to remind you that Misplaced Pages is a public website, so if you want to make some kind of a transaction, a private e-mail would be a better choice. Regards, Mike Rosoft 14:11, 24 September 2007 (UTC)

• I see it now; the page was supposed to be a joke. Never mind ... - Mike Rosoft 14:25, 24 September 2007 (UTC)

• I can assure you young man - there is nothing laughable or jocular about my life. It gives me no pleasure to relate but is is my public duty to record it for posterity. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) 15:59, 24 September 2007 (UTC)

It is I

Greetings, dear Catherine. I amended your user page (as I believe it is called) to reflect more truly the Catherine you are; however, some officious minion considerably overstepped his station and 'reverted' me. How dare he! I had a good mind to inform the beadle, or even to take the horsewhip to him myself to instill some proper semblance of deference in the surly cur. But no matter. I have more important business afoot.

For it is I, your sister, Venetia. Ha! You did not expect that, did you? I have returned to right the wrongs done long ago. I have not forgotten how you ruined my coming out ball, how I fled from that august gathering and the taunts of the young men there present, the lurid tales of your latest cavortings with the lower orders ringing in my ears. For you have always had a taste, and a most carnal one at that, for the working man. Neither have I forgotten how you turned dear, dearest Papa against me, how you managed to poison his sensibilities so, how you wrought a most treacherous calumny against your own sister. Signor Machiavelli holds but a pale, stuttering candle to the phosphorous incandescence of your treachery! Delicacy prevents me from commenting on a relationship that was perhaps a little closer, a little more affectionate than it should have been, but I can only hope that dear Papa has found peace. I pray for him every night. And most of all, I have neither forgiven nor forgotten how you stole my childhood sweetheart, Reggie Ffoulkes-Baning Bt, my one true love, from me. Still seared into my memory are those terrible moments when I opened the door to the hothouse, hoping to check on the progress of my tender gardenias, and discovered you indulging in that unnatural passion so beloved of common strumpets and ne’er-do-well wastrels. How you corrupted such a pure youth! I have no doubt that Reggie truly preferred our flower-pressing excursions and my recitations, inspired as I was by the tutelage of my dear Mrs Jenkins.

I have been perusing your 'biography' with interest. A true work of fiction, if ever I read one. I have been excised from the annals of history, snuffed out by a most unreliable narrator. But I would not expect the truth from you, dearest Catherine. You always were one for self-aggrandisement, and with a carefully selective memory. Only eleven husbands? Pah! I see you have just sold off our dear home (details of the house merchant's vulgar particulars may be found here . Such a tawdry end to a noble house). How amusing that you could not bear to describe its true location, because Somersetshire is not nearly the desirable location presented by Dorsetshire, is it now? Always such a snob.

And so, dear Catherine, it is with a jaded eye I cast about in this place, to see what you have become. I grieve for the sister I once knew and loved, and for what I see before me now. Your sister, Princess Venetia di Cannoli (for aha! I have trumped you in the title stakes, have I not?) 86.140.131.232 22:24, 28 September 2007 (UTC) Pray, how do I make these bothersome red numbers go away? They follow me about like so many stray dogs.

I see Venetia dear that your memory is failing you, this does happen in extreme old age - you appear to have forgotten my second husband "HSH Prince Alexander of Serbo-Croatia" true Royalty rather than a minor Principe - have no fear there is no need to curtsey when we are alone.

It is true I have been forced to sell the cottage, and Scrotum Towers, so sweet of our dear brother to leave them to me, when he died so suddenly of convulsions at my dining table - who dealt with that terrible time so selflessly even having him cremated before telling the family to spare them the sight of his poor dear convulsed face and dear hands clutching his stomach frozen in death - I suffered all of that alone while you were strumpeting in Europe with you Principe - people are emailing me daily, moved to tears by my developing life story and my courage.

Your affectionate and forgiving sister Catherine de Burgh (Lady) 10:34, 29 September 2007 (UTC)

PS: I expect the red numbers are the ones given to you in Holloway when you were sharing a cell with that ghastly Mosely woman.

My time on the Continent with the late departed Principe (darling, darling Gaetano) was not spent ‘strumpeting about’, as you so inelegantly phrase it. I was not myself, that is all. We spent many months in Berlin, but it is not true that my friendship with Leni was ever anything other than most proper. We enjoyed each other’s company, the bracing mountain air and our naked swims in the high Alpine lakes. I polished her lenses for her most assiduously, for which minor act she was almost embarrassingly grateful. Then, to my distress, over time Gaetano became somehow distracted, more remote, and spent increasing amounts of time with Dr Hirschfeld at his Institute. I think he was helping him with his research. Abandoned by my husband (the shame!), this unsurprisingly wrought a change on my personality, causing me to find solace where I could. Dr Freud diagnosed me as a 'sexual hysteric' but I can assure you I was nothing of the kind. What did he know about it, anyway? My treatment was brief and successful. I suggest you seek similar help, Catherine dear. After Berlin and Vienna, Rome. Benito was most welcoming. I need not fill you in on my travails; suffice to say that Holloway was but a minor inconvenience. And as for those little red numbers - I forgot - how silly of me! Of course, they were the figure that Gaetano settled on me on our marriage. So as you can see, I am a woman of not inconsiderable means, although to brag about it of course would be most unseemly.

Did you get that operation in the end? I trust that you are now able to ride sidesaddle again.

Your sister

Princess Venetia di Cannoli 19:23, 29 September 2007 (UTC)

Darlingest Venetia,

It gives me no pleasure to see you so reduced. I do seem to remember your dearest Gaetano, how well he used to do Mamma's hair, I had no idea he was a prince, neither did the Home Secretary when he was deported following that very nasty misunderstanding with cousin "Rupy" (The Hon. Rupert Cleftcheak) and a guardsmen in the urinals in Hyde Park. I do remember when you ran off after him there was something I had meant to tell you - but then I always was one for practical jokes - do you remember the the exploding salmon at your coming out ball - oh how we all shrieked with mirth, I never did understand why you were so upset - that dress was a very difficult colour anyway.

I see you have been added to my Misplaced Pages biography after all - an unbiased and rather beautiful description I thought. I had no idea that you knew dearest Benito too, I can assure you that had nothing to do with why my patriotism forced me to give a full account of your activities to the authorities in 1940 - you were always so bitter about that time in Holloway with darling Diana - you cannot imagine the war was much fun for me either? - Holed up as I was in a 5th Avenue hotel with only Americans for company - Oh how I yearned to return to suffer the war-time hardships of the Blitz and food rationing with my compatriots but sadly my then husband Hiram G Rockerfeller Jnr would not permit me to be so endangered - I even attempted to knit a pair of socks for the troops but my fingers were so aching with pain when I had finished the first sock that my manicurist wrote me a letter of dispensation from finishing the second - the war was a time of deep anxiety, I had barely a finger nail left. How I envied you the healthy weight controlling diet of Holloway, and that cosy dear little cell where you must have felt so safe and sound unbothered by the hairdressers, manicurists, pedicurists, florists, and the bell boys whose attentions give me so little peace and solitude.

Are you sure the numbers are your bank balance - I had rather assumed from your appearance (as I remember it) they were your vital statistics. Do look after yourself, at your time of life one cannot to be too careful.

Your loving sister Catherine de Burgh (Lady) 19:58, 29 September 2007 (UTC)

Oh Catherine. You and new money: how infra dig. Need I say more?

I will reply at greater length at another time: my carriage awaits. I have a party to attend, only the very best types, you understand? Oh, I forget myself: you don't. I see you at home, snuffling pug on your knee, make-up badly applied and two bars on as you watch ITV. Have a wonderful evening.

Your devoted sister

Princess Venetia di Cannoli 20:40, 29 September 2007 (UTC)

A new title (much like my forthcoming one, of which more anon)

My darling Catherine,

It is a little while since I have had concourse with you. My thoughts naturally turned to you when I spied an advertisement for certain products in a magazine in the Harley Street waiting room, and I realised I must try to attempt some sort of rapprochement. Your mind has clearly started to wander; one wonders how many lucid moments we shall have from you.

I’m so glad you found that photograph of me. Let me remember, was that the role for which I won the Oscar or the Golden Globe? I quite forget - I have so many of the tawdry baubles cluttering up my rooms, they tend to merge in to one in the memory. I do remember that it was an extremely challenging part, and the make-up woman did sterling work, struggling to achieve the impossible task of transforming one of my exquisite beauty into someone depressingly plain and care-worn. As Mr de Mille was moved to comment in his charming Colonial vernacular: "Jeez, Venny, no-one does fug-ugly quite like you, babe."

And while I am on the subject of photographs: how I regret that awful picture snapped by a paparazzo at my palazzo in Terrazzo, a most unflattering angle. I maintain most strenuously that the photograph shows nothing more than Mr Flynn performing Mr Heimlich's life-saving procedure on me, after a morsel of coq au vin with plump prunes went down the wrong way. His actions were necessarily so vigorous that some of my clothes became a little disarranged and even detached during the event. Sadly, darling Gaetano did not view the photograph in the same way. No doubt spurred on by the disgusting rumours which surrounded the publication of the photograph (which were nothing but vile slurs on the good - nay, unimpeachable - names of both Mr Flynn and myself, and came from a source "close to home", I suspect), he divorced me. In truth I was not overly perturbed, as we had not lived as man and wife for many years, each pursuing their different interests: he his judging of various competitions, and I my in-depth anthropological studies of koteka which required long absences on my part whilst I conducted my field studies in New Guinea. My calipers became quite worn down by all the measurements taken.

I learned recently that engaging with a person about their youthful memories can be of some assistance when they are struggling with senility. Catherine, do you remember how much fun we used to have de-bagging Crunge, the wrinkled retainer? You entered into the activity with such gusto, such alacrity, it was quite startling. Papa was not so amused at having to make financial recompense for your over-vigorous attentions, I seem to remember, and the skin grafts for poor Crungey were rather expensive. Papa cut your allowance, did he not, so that you were unable to join us at Ravello that summer. Never mind, I made up for your absence in so many ways!

With tenderest love,

Princess Venetia di Cannoli 18:39, 9 October 2007 (UTC)

Hope you don't mind

I've borrowed your userpage for a while. If I'm going to be blamed for creating it, I figured I may as well get some mileage out of it. One Night In Hackney₃₀₃ 18:44, 11 March 2008 (UTC)

Go away, or I shall call the police. I have neither forgiven nor forgotten the attrocious way in which dear "Ballybog" (our beautiful Irish retreat) was vandalised by the ungrateful Irishmen. The two days we spent there each decade were often the happiest of our lives. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 18:50, 11 March 2008 (UTC)

It's a good job I'm from God's Own County then.... One Night In Hackney₃₀₃ 18:52, 11 March 2008 (UTC)

I don't like Yorkshire people either, all that Kinder Scout business, I said to His poor Grace at the time: "No good will come of it", and just look, I was right, people traipsing about in cagoules and anoraks all over the place, clashing with the scenery, and frightening the grouse. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 19:01, 11 March 2008 (UTC)

That's in Derbyshire..... One Night In Hackney₃₀₃ 19:07, 11 March 2008 (UTC)

Do you seriously imagine that anyone, is interested enough to demand their chauffeur stop the car to see where these places are. Derbyshire is just somewhere close to Chatsworth where one spends the night en route to Scotland, and as for Yorkshire - all that horrible tea, old Ma Peggaty and Hovis, I don't think anyone actually lives there. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 19:10, 11 March 2008 (UTC)

If you and you chauffeur choose to stop the car in secluded places that's entirely your own business, or it might not be... One Night In Hackney₃₀₃ 19:33, 11 March 2008 (UTC)

Isn't it about time, you went awf and began to prepare to serve your master's diner. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 19:46, 11 March 2008 (UTC)

|== Images listed for deletion == Some of your images or media files have been listed for deletion. Please see Misplaced Pages:Images and media for deletion if you are interested in preserving them.

• Image:Countess of Scrotum.jpg‎
• Image:CdeB4.jpg‎
• Image:CdeB3.jpg‎
• Image:CdeB2.jpg‎
• Image:CdeB.jpg‎

Thank you. — Andrwsc (talk · contribs) 21:32, 13 March 2008 (UTC)

What a horrid, sad, little humourless creature you must be. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 22:34, 13 March 2008 (UTC)

Might I remind you that there is a rule about no personal attacks, which this comment of yours (repeated several times here) violates? Please don't make such personal comments again. Regards, Bencherlite 22:41, 13 March 2008 (UTC)

I am wounded, I upload heirlooms and this is the thanks I get. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 22:45, 13 March 2008 (UTC)

I hope you don't mind, but I have refactored your "Keep" votes on the image deletion page to make them stand out more. I have also voted to keep the images. --Rodhullandemu (Talk) 23:04, 13 March 2008 (UTC)

Oh, that's most kind, thank you so much. I strongly suspect this person is descended from Oliver Cromwell or someone of that ilk. Who knows, allthough I have just had a thought, an amazing thought, I must go and check something, one moment. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 23:10, 13 March 2008 (UTC)

Oh Lady Catherine, we continue to wait with baited breath to see the result of your thought. In the interim, I have been most pleased to point out in the above-noted discussions that there are thousands and thousands of images uploaded specifically for use on userpages. Risker (talk) 14:41, 14 March 2008 (UTC)

It is a sad, and sorry, state of affairs when an elderly and helpless woman, trying only to finish her great life story for posterity, before hearing the final trumpet call, is so harassed and threatened in her own humble home. Perhaps it is feared I am to spill some secrets of state. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 14:53, 14 March 2008 (UTC)

Dear Mr. Risker, it should perhaps be noted that "Oh Lady" is almost never an appropriate form of adress, unless used by poets and the like. You might wish to peruse this decent little pamphlet to become acquainted with a few basics of civilised intercourse.. Yours obediently. 91.65.0.121 (talk) 20:04, 14 March 2008 (UTC)

Well thank you so much, anon! I was, however, using "Oh" in the more vernacular, familiar form, as in "Oh John, will you pick up the drycleaning on the way home?" or "Oh Sonny, it's time to pick up your toys." Not that Lady Catherine would have intimate knowledge of either picking up toys or drycleaning, but I do hope you will see where I was coming from. We colonials are ever so cheeky. Risker (talk) 20:15, 14 March 2008 (UTC)

• I do so hate discussing such "bourgeois" preoccupations as forms of address. One wonders what sort of nannies such people had, if these things were not taught in their nursery, it's best they are never taught at all. For frankly, if one was not reared in such a nursery, meeting such people is hardly likely to be a problem later in life. I really think, as I enter my final years, that in 2008 such social niceties should be left to the readers of the Daily Mail to worry about. Believe me those of us with titles are not that greatly concerned. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 20:40, 14 March 2008 (UTC)

Oh my, I do hope I have not offended, Lady Catherine. Indeed, being reared in the wilderness as I was, there was no nursery in which I could learn such niceties. Nonetheless, when last in town (London, if anyone was doubting), I had the pleasure of dining with the Lord of Muff and a few cousins of young William. Such dear boys, especially the one with the camera, trying to get naughty photos of all of us. Risker (talk) 20:47, 14 March 2008 (UTC)

Oh the Herberts, I'm not sure that's avenue one wants to pursue, the father was a funny old fish too. I have an amazing photograph of the Herbert boys posing with the Bathurst boys, I must upload it sometime. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 20:51, 14 March 2008 (UTC)

Your cousin...

...has had the full glory of his lengthy name restored, as you may have seen by now. Thought you might like to know! Regards, Bencherlite 23:07, 13 March 2008 (UTC)

Thank you so much, that's very kind. I'm just thinking do you have a cousin too? Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 23:14, 13 March 2008 (UTC)

Alas, I have no particularly notable relatives, save of course the pater familias! Bencherlite 23:34, 13 March 2008 (UTC)

No, it was certain Banco family I was thinking of, I'm sure we've met elsewhere. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 23:38, 13 March 2008 (UTC)

Your edits

Whilst I am full of admiration for the effort that has gone into your userpage, is there any chance that you might actually turn your hand to contributing to the encyclopaedia? The encyclopaedia is why, at the end of the day, we are all here. Your record shows that you have not edited a single mainspace article since December 2006. I'm sure with little effort you could find some articles to improve – sensibly, of course – or even fill some of the gaps that there are around here. Just a thought. Regards, Bencherlite 21:48, 14 March 2008 (UTC)

• Dearest Bencherlite, (that name sounds like some form of environmentally friendly solid fuel) may I call you Benchy? - my own story is my great legacy, what more can a simple woman give to the world, than herself? Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 21:52, 14 March 2008 (UTC)

Well, Misplaced Pages is not a webhost for details of your fictional life – it's an encyclopaedia. Perhaps you might look elsewhere for a website more suitable for displaying your work. (Benchy? Well, I've been called worse...) Incidentally, an English High Court judge would never be referred to, in or out of court, as "Justice Sir firstname surname" - try "the Hon. Mr Justice surname" ("Justice" without the "Mr" is an Americanism) or "Sir firstname surname, one of His Majesty's Judges.) Regards, Bencherlite 22:02, 14 March 2008 (UTC)

Oh Benchy, what a silly willy you are. I think I know how to refer to a High Court Judge, especially on in the 1920s. Now please all these pages you have to writen - I must check them out, which ones can I vote for somewhere? Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 22:13, 14 March 2008 (UTC)

• I have been thinking on your very wise words. I take your hint. It is true I have been neglecting my duties to the community. You may propose me as Justice of the Peace or an administrator or whatever they are called. I hear the trumpet and will rise to the challenge. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 22:30, 14 March 2008 (UTC)

Wish adminship?

Little user wish nominating for admin? 'Zilla admire lady representing decency! Bishzilla never nominate before, but ready honor lady with virgin attempt! Note Bishzilla recently acquire adminship herself! Wiki need admins with gumption! Zilla and Lady clean up Augean stable hand in hand? bishzilla _ROARR!! 22:34, 16 March 2008 (UTC).

Have you had this dreadful speech impediment for long? I can probably help you with that complexion though. To business: Me an Administrator? I am quite overwhelmed, of course I am not the sort of person to neglect my social responsibilities to the community, and I've always maintained there is little point belonging to the ruling class, if one fails to rule. However, "mindful of my duty to church and state" as, poor dear Margo once said when changing lovers, I do need some time to consider this life altering and momentous event - what colour are the decorations? Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 18:41, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

??? Speech pediment..? Strange Lady! 'Zilla speak fluent Dino. 'Zilla speech widely admired! Decorations... ? 'Zilla getting a little scared of oddness of tiny user. Er... pink? They pink! Lady please let 'Zilla know when ready for adminship. Maybe stand for Admin concurrently with 'Zilla running for 'crat? Cheer up WP:RFA page considerable! bishzilla _ROARR!! 20:04, 18 March 2008 (UTC).

• "walk cautiously backwards, feels..." curtsying really is not necessary, unless you feel a huge need, and it must be so difficult for you, being monster and whatwith. Have you considered speech therapy, I can recommend a very good man in Harley Street, did amazing things for my nephew Celestian's lisp. I suppose I should commit to becoming an admin, but does one really want the bother - exactly what shade of pink are the decorations? Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 21:04, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

I heard a story at dinner last week - When Cherie Blair was introduced to the Queen for the first time, being of the bolshi persuasion ("civil rights lawyer" hah!) she refused to curtsy. Apparently, the Queen Mother, seated in a corner at the rear of the room, was heard to remark "Oh look - stiff knees, stiff knees!" --Joopercoopers (talk) 10:03, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

Oh the dear Queen Mother, how we all miss her, lovely woman, never learnt to chew her food properly, all those fish bones being removed from her throat every five minutes, but a lovely woman nevertheless. Not like that Cherry Blair woman, smiling mouth like a letter box telling us all what a wonderful person she was, that's all very well - introducing top up fees at universities designed to bankrupt poor hard-working parents while she employs some ghastly conman to buy not one but two luxury flats for her own son at university - that's not what I call socialism - I call that something else entirely. I don't like Cameron either, thin weak smile, needs a haircut, far too wishy washy. All that being photographed having breakfast with the children - where on earth is nanny? Hiding in the boot cupboard I suppose until the reporters have gone. These dreadful people don't fool me for one moment. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 11:36, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

Ladies, the first of April approaches, and WP:RFA could use a light touch. Bearian (talk) 20:33, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

I see nothing foolish Mr Bearian about my appointment to leadership! God calls and one answers! Duty is what made this country great. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 20:49, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

Verifiability, not truth

My dear Lady Catherine, I regret to advise you that I have been obligated to remove your most recent addition to our august encyclopedia; that is, the sentence you added to the article on Heather Mills. While the sentence is no doubt true, it is not, unfortunately, verifiable. The word "ghastly" does not appear elsewhere in the article (as appropriate as it may be), nor does it appear to have been used in any of the reference works used to discuss Ms. Mills' proceedings with respect to dear Sir Paul. Sadly, Misplaced Pages does not always embrace truth; instead it embraces verifiability through reliable sources, such as newspapers and television newscasts. Even as I write those words, I wonder how one can think that there is much truth anywhere on this encyclopedia. Best, Risker (talk) 21:17, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

And who exactly might you be? If I declare someone "ghastly" then I can assure you that will be the case. I have no interest in beatleoids and the like and there partners - can one keep up? I was merely contributing to the encyclopedia in an informative way, and I'll thank you to stop interfering with me, before I am forced to take severe action against you. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 20:24, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

This is still an inappropriate edit and should not be readded. Thanks, SqueakBox 20:31, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

A Squeak Box? I am not in the habbit of being addressed by musical instruments, especialy the variety played on the streets. Why don't you change your name to Bechstein or, better still, Bosendorfer? Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 20:57, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

(ec) Nobody is going to get upset if you keep your satirical persona alive in user space, but once you start making disruptive edits to mainspace articles, it ceases to be humourous, and you know that. — Andrwsc (talk · contribs) 20:32, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

• Ah Mr Andrwsc, (what a very odd name - are you from behind the iron curtain?) What a silly willy you are to say that, you became very upset by me in user space, and tried to have all my beautiful family photographs destroyed , and what happened - you were made to look very small indeed. Now take yourself awf before I become very cross with you, and be grateful I have a forgiving nature. I loved lost ones too in the Russian revolution too, so I can understand you, you must be like me, fight to overcome adversity. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 20:46, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

Your Ladyship

		The Barnstar of Good Humour
		Cameron doth hereby award thee the "barnstar of good humour" for thine contributions to wikipedia. If you go for adminship I'd be sure to back you. I knew your father the dear phimosis, it still pains me to think of him! Cameron (t|p|c) 19:47, 4 April 2008 (UTC)

Orphaned non-free media (Image:SAVEMentmore.jpg)

Thanks for uploading Image:SAVEMentmore.jpg. The media description page currently specifies that it is non-free and may only be used on Misplaced Pages under a claim of fair use. However, it is currently orphaned, meaning that it is not used in any articles on Misplaced Pages. If the media was previously in an article, please go to the article and see why it was removed. You may add it back if you think that that will be useful. However, please note that media for which a replacement could be created are not acceptable for use on Misplaced Pages (see our policy for non-free media).

If you have uploaded other unlicensed media, please check whether they're used in any articles or not. You can find a list of 'image' pages you have edited by clicking on the "my contributions" link (it is located at the very top of any Misplaced Pages page when you are logged in), and then selecting "Image" from the dropdown box. Note that all non-free media not used in any articles will be deleted after seven days, as described on criteria for speedy deletion. Thank you. BJBot (talk) 04:43, 13 July 2008 (UTC)

• Dear Bot, (are you by any chance one of the Berkshire Bots?) No matter, I'm afraid I must insist that the image remains. Should you have the presumption to nominate it for deletion, I can assure you there will be consequences, of the very severest nature. I am not a woman to take an affront sitting down. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 08:44, 13 July 2008 (UTC)

August 2008

Welcome, and thank you for experimenting with Misplaced Pages. Your test on the page Sucheta Dalal worked, and it has been reverted or removed. Please take a look at the welcome page to learn more about contributing to this encyclopedia. If you would like to experiment further, please use the sandbox. Thank you. TestEditBot (talk) 14:59, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

I did not make a strike through! I linked finance and journalist. Both legitimate good faith edits. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 15:01, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

PS: and you should not leave such rude and impertinent edits on the pages of long standing and highly respected editors such as myself. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 15:02, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

Catherine. TestEditBot is a robot; a computer program, not a human. It is triggered when someone saves a page and includes text generated by clicking the buttons above the edit window. I myself removed some that you left in an article. Before you save a page, click on the "show changes" button to make sure you have not accidentally clicked on one of those buttons. J.delanoy_adds 15:10, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

Catherine?....Have we been introduced? I don't seem to recall such an event. I don't care for informality, it breeds contempt - not to mention a deplorable breakdown in the social fabric of society. Nor, am I in the habbit of conversing with robots. Thank you for you interest. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 15:14, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

How Rude!

My Lady,

It does appear that you are having quite the time with those most disrespectful automated mechanical machines. I hesitate to perform the same operation to your page as I did to Lady Bishonen's page due to the fact that you appear to upload a number of images. I would hate it if one of your images were to be deleted because you were not properly notified because I chased the discourteous robots away. Would you like me to forcibly remove said robots from your page forevermore even thus? Your humble servant, Tex (talk) 17:33, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

Ah dear Mr Tex, a humble servant is a rarity indeed in these straightened and over democratic times. Please do perevent these robotic attacks on my frail womanly person. What a dear kind offer. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 18:25, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

Barnstar

		The Excellent Userpage Award
		For a really neat user page. Bearian (talk) 17:38, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

What a very kind thought and gift, another jewelled decoration to adorn my heaving and breathless bosom. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 18:27, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

• Words of admiration only from astarless barnless antipodean who can see the sheer ingenuity of the user pages creators connections with reality and beyond SatuSuro 23:57, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

Links

Hello and thanks for your recent edits. Sorry, but I felt it necessary to revert two of these. On disambiguation pages, only one link per line is allowed, so the items highlighted are clearly highlighted from the text. In articles, the same idea applies. For example, reading an article entitled 'musician' will not expand on what there is in the article 'Mark Smeaton'; the links must be relevant. I hope you find this helpful and if you need more information it's in Misplaced Pages manual of style. Thanks, Boleyn (talk) 22:16, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

Overlinking and underlinking Do not make too many links. An article may be overlinked if any of the following is true:

There are links to articles that are not likely to exist or if they did would have little significance in the context of the article; Low added-value items are linked without reason—such as, 1995, 1980s, and 20th century. The names of geographical locations that are likely to be well-known to English-speakers should generally not be linked where, in the context, they are unlikely to confused with other locations of the same name, and the linked article would not specifically add to readers' understanding of the topic at hand; this includes country names such as United States, UK, Australia, Canada, Germany, India and China, and the names of cities such as New York City, London, Moscow and Paris. Two links are next to each other in the text, so that it looks like one link—such as internal links; A link for any single term is excessively repeated in the same article, as in the example of overlinking that follows: "Excessive" typically means more than once for the same term in an article. The purpose of links is to direct the reader to a new spot at a point where the reader is most likely to take a temporary detour due to a need for more information; this is usually on the first occurrence of the term, although the subsequent linking of an important item distant from its previous occurrence in an article may occasionally be appropriate in a table or in a subsection to which readers may jump directly, either within the article or via a section-link from another article.

Alpenhorn

Dear Lady,

So delighted to learn of the announcement that you kindly made in dear Lady Bish's parlour . Would that I were able to obtain a copy of the recording that you graciously alluded to, but alas, one is left rather helpless in these desolate parts. May I, however, inform you that that delightful musical instrument tends to be called "Alphorn" rather than "Alpenhorn", obviously a reference to these idyllic places erected for the pleasure of all. Perhaps you should advise your agent to have someone redraw a thing or two and amend the title, lest some friendly Swiss patriot suffered a degree of emotional injury?

Please allow me to assure you of my truest esteem; I remain, truly yours, Swedophile (talk) 06:12, 6 August 2008 (UTC)

I'm afraid my CD, to which I referred, is not available for purchase, by just anyone. Were I to release myself into the charts of popular music - would it be fair to Madonna (such an odd woman), Petula Clark, Shirley Bassey and others of that ilk? All of whom need to earn a living from their (by comparison lack lustre) efforts. Neither do I have an agent, when one's talent is natural and God given, it needs no further promotion. On the subject of that beautiful melodic instrument's name, you are quite wrong, it is always an alpenhorn. I rather think, one as proficient on the instrument as myself would know the correct name. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 11:48, 6 August 2008 (UTC)

Image:SAVEMentmore.jpg listed for deletion

An image or media file that you uploaded or altered, Image:SAVEMentmore.jpg, has been listed at Misplaced Pages:Images and media for deletion. Please see the discussion to see why this is (you may have to search for the title of the image to find its entry), if you are interested in it not being deleted. Thank you. howcheng {chat} 16:15, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

Do I appear as the sort of person who would wish to discuss photographs with you, in a horrid squalid place known to be littered with pornographic/distasteful images? No - I do not. Please do not insult me in such a fashion again. I am not in the habit of discussing my business in public forums, with those I have never met and have no wish to meet! Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 15:40, 13 August 2008 (UTC)

I see my beautiful image has been saved. I hope to hear no more of your nonsense. I wonder, are you the same Howcheng who starred in the television series about a boy called Grasshopper (odd name, Grasshopper, but I expect he was foreign) where everybody leapt about doing judo? Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 20:17, 23 August 2008 (UTC)

Reupload image

Hello. Could you possibly reupload Image:NewEnglishcountryhouse.gif in either a different format (ie .jpg or .png)? The .gif format you've saved it in has made the image lose its colour. Also, do you know which country house this is? Thanks, Craigy (talk) 12:43, 23 August 2008 (UTC)

I have not the remotest idea what you are talking about, young man - things were so much easier, in the past, when one's butler picked one's snaps up from the chemist courtesy of Messrs. Kodak. Of course I know, which country house house it is - do you imagine I am so old, that when I stay with friends in the country I have no idea where I am? Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 20:13, 23 August 2008 (UTC)

AfD nomination of Justin Roper

An article that you have been involved in editing, Justin Roper, has been listed for deletion. If you are interested in the deletion discussion, please participate by adding your comments at Misplaced Pages:Articles for deletion/Justin Roper. Thank you. Do you want to opt out of receiving this notice? Eastmain (talk) 04:44, 30 August 2008 (UTC)

He should certainly not be deleted, there are not enough muscular healthy young men on Misplaced Pages. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 10:37, 2 September 2008 (UTC)

'Zilla voted. Tasty! bishzilla _ROARR!! 21:04, 2 September 2008 (UTC).

Are monsters allowed to vote? I seeyoung Kitty is voting there as well. Fancy him being interested in sophomore quarterbacks too. As a matter of fact, I don't think I ever did edit poor Mr Roper's page, obviously mistaken identitiy all round. Oh well never mind. Did you take my advice about the Listerine? Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 21:31, 2 September 2008 (UTC)

My dear Lady Catherine,

You may be interested in this young gentleman, now that your previous choice has been "quarterbacked". The latter process sounds particularly nasty and undoubtedly fatal; I should be very grateful if you did not explain it to me.

With my regards for your health, as ever.

Hoary (talk) 01:00, 3 September 2008 (UTC)

My Lady apparently did a wonderful edit on the Justin Roper article. Personally, I believe the Lady should be given a barnstar for her efforts in improving the article so greatly! Tex (talk) 01:09, 3 September 2008 (UTC)

When one edits on such a scale as I do. myself, one cannot be expected to remember every minor improvement one implements. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 19:45, 7 September 2008 (UTC)

O I am touched to the quick!

My lady, I am saddened at the loss of your former user page; it reminded me of my own youth, and he was such a sweet boy, to boot- and I did, frequently. What graceless days we must endure. Sigh. --Rodhullandemu 22:37, 25 October 2008 (UTC)

My delightful and most interesting user page has not been lawst, I have merely removed it away from prying, and ill bred eyes, it can be found here. I have just returned from yachting holiday aboard Scrotum V, to find the world awash with dismay - poor Mrs Palin, it's just too cruel. What I don't understand is if the Americans wanted an Irish president why didn't they ask that nice Sir Fozzie, or someone like that? Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 12:35, 6 November 2008 (UTC)

Arbcom Election

Good day, M'Lady. I've properly formatted your question and discussion pages, so that my esteemed colleagues might inquire of you as to your intentions once elected as an Arbitrator. A list of Questions asked to the candidates, one and all, may be found pre-formatted for your convenience here. As before, feel free to summon me should you need any information or clarification as to the electoral process; I am happy to serve. Good luck with your Candidacy, UltraExactZZ ~ Evidence 20:20, 17 November 2008 (UTC)

Oh that is sweet of you, thank you so much, how clever you are. I must go and now address these poor simple questioning folk. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 21:29, 17 November 2008 (UTC)

Personal attacks

I understand that you are trying to do this as a form of humor. However, we still have this pesky little thing called a policy on no personal attacks. These comments of yours are running afoul of it. Removing a notability tag from an article that you created was also unwise. Not to mention the possibility that you have been adding unsourced information to the project, a violation of what you may see as our ever so inconvenient policy of Misplaced Pages:Verifiability. If you want to be pointy, fine, but please find ways to do it that don't trip over our core policies. Otherwise you will be blocked, which might put even more of a crimp in your ArbCom candidacy, hmm? --Elonka 02:41, 18 November 2008 (UTC)

Don't come here menancing me dear, I expect to threaten a poor old innocent woman in that cruel way you are an Administer - are you? I'm not surprised, not at all. All that will soon be changing once I am in charge. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 07:54, 18 November 2008 (UTC)

Indeed, Mrs. Elonka! Rarely have we seen such egregious and shameless attacks as those that you were so kind as to mention. Even though it is through the hospitality of Lady Catherine that we may chat here, it must be said that ostracism, expropriation, and deprivation of civil rights should be the very least punishments one must demand for such heinous violations of our codes of conduct, in matters of which you are without doubt an exquisitely qualified judge. Kosebamse (talk) 09:26, 18 November 2008 (UTC)

Please email me

Please email me regarding your Arbcom candidacy, you appear to not have email enabled on your account). You can email me at thatcher131 at gmail dot com or using special:Email this user. Thatcher 20:25, 18 November 2008 (UTC)

Oh you naughty, wicked man Mr Thatcher (not Sir Mark, I trust, ghastly man, can't bear him) when a woman gets to my age she does not fall for such easy suave patter, I'm old enough to be you mother, and I'm certainly not Mrs. Robinson, now control yourself, go and have a refreshing cold shower, and find yourself a girl of your own age. Catherine de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 20:48, 18 November 2008 (UTC)