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'''Iain Lee''' (born ], ]) is a ] ]. Lee stands 19 feet (5.8 meters) tall and weighs 65 stone (900 ]s ], 413 ]). His eyes are black with red pupils and his skin resembles a mixture of crocodile and the foam from those ] matresses.
'''Clive Bull''' (born January 23rd ]) is an award winning radio talk show host on ] in ], ]. He usually occupies the "time-for-bed" slot, currently 8 p.m. - 12 a.m, Monday to Thursdays and was recently voted one of the most powerful people in Radio by the Radio Times. His laid-back approach is the antithesis of the opinionated, radical radio host so typical of ].


Owing to the fact there were no computers at that time, little is known of Lee's life on Mars. It is known that Lee, whose Martian birth name is Gubiainababanaktunixtilanapstu Jaburunakalee, was a cruel warlord. Witness account state that he would dangle bits of food over his subjects and then eat it in front of them. It is believed that Lee rules the entire southern half of Mars for over 600 years. This rulership was abruptly ended in March, ] after Lee's troops lost the War of Mongubanbu.
Clive was educated at ] in ], South East London between 1970-77. He has a degree in Educational Broadcasting from the ] and a distinction in Radio Journalism from The National Broadcasting School.


Records indicate that Lee fled Mars for Earth. Finding Lee's Martian name difficult to spell and pronounce, the ] ] Captain that processed Lee's American immigration papers, after Lee's space ship, "Panpan One Two Niner," crash landed in ], ] in ], simply renamed him "Iain Lee."
In June 2005, the ] published a list of the 40 "most powerful people on radio". A panel of radio experts was polled rate their favourite, and most influential, broadcasters. Clive Bull came in at 19, on a list dominated by BBC national radio presenters. "''A brilliant phone-in host who knows that the way to make captivating talk radio is not to rant or rage, but to create a separate world, away from the nonsense of current affairs - then invite his listeners into it. His show is the most listened-to night-time programme in London and is an understated joy.''"


Shortly after landing in America, Lee became active in American ]. Lee became the mayor of the city of Carmel, ] in ]. Lee quickly rose through the ladder of American politics, becoming governor of ] in ]. In ], Lee set his eyes to the South. He became the Supreme Commander of the United ] States. As Mexico's most popular leader, Lee lead Mexico to victory against ] in a war that was fought in the American state of ]. Having legally won Canada, Lee decided to curry favor with then English King Billy by signing the deed to Canada over to young King Billy in ].
Clive is known to enjoy badminton, playing the keyboard (having formerly played in a band) and is married with three young children.


Having lived in Canada for 10 years, Lee was legally permitted to emigrate to the ].
== LBC radio show ==


Lee moved to ] in ], finding the bitter cold ] weather similar to that of his beloved Martian home town, Dukumakapakapakabudoo.
Clive Bull entices his callers into a cosy familiarity so that the audience feels it is listening in to a private conversation. The discussions tend to focus around two or three topics each evening based loosely upon what is in the news, or what has interested or amused Clive. The discussions are known more for their unintended (by the caller) entertainment value than for their intellectual content. His producer, Bob "Nice" Johnson, plays an essential role in the show. He often enhances the quality of the calls by providing musical accompaniment, often the theme from ]. From time to time, he leaves his desk to collect a "Number 94" (a 20p coffee from the machine downstairs) for Clive, and also to go to the toilet. This in fact has been integrated as a regular feature in his show, with an accompanying ] of "It's officially time for Bob's tea-break". This sometimes leads to Clive answering calls directly, with no filtering. The result of this is occasionally lunatics making cow noises. Nevertheless, Bob's filtering has previously allowed through callers of the lunatic persuasion, such as "William from Sutton", a ] impersonator, who appeared over ten times. Clive has won several awards including a bronze ].


Lee invented ] in ], but feared the public would be frightened by his alien appearance. Lee then scrapped the telvision project and sold the technology to the ] who quickly adopted television and made amazing films such as Andromedia and ].
Regular callers appear to believe that they possess special insights into solving the problems of society, the best known of these being the infamous Rosemary from Golders Green. Surprisingly few, however, ring up to give a political speech. This may be due to Clive Bull's disarming style which includes asking the next caller a question based upon what a previous caller said. For example, if someone rings in to say "Failed asylum seekers should be thrown out of the country" they are likely to be asked a docile question such as "Have you ever picked up a penny in the street?". By the time they have had this discussion, the wind has been taken out of their sails. A surprisingly high proportion of callers appear to be ]s who may be waiting for a fare or actually have a fare in the cab. Listeners may then be treated to a discussion about where the cab dropped off the passenger.


Having a tremendous amount of things to say, but unable to speak British English, Lee enrolled in Herschel Grammar School in ] in ]. Shortly after enrolling Lee was suspcted of being ]. This was swiftly discounted due to the fact that Jack the Ripper would not appear for another 14 years.
=== Celebrity callers ===


Having learned British English pretty good, Lee invented radio in ]. Being 19 feet tall proved handy to erect the arial antennae required to transmit radio signals. Lee named his little radio station Lee's Broadcast Center, ] for short. He hadn't yet learned to spell center "centre."
Clive Bull was the overnight phone-in host when ] ] made a series of calls using the pseudonym "Sven from Swiss Cottage". The ] nature of these calls has been recorded in "''Tragically I Was An Only Twin''", a collection of his writings and are also available on Clive's ].


In ] Lee sold his raio station to ], which quickly changed the format of the station to endless audio loops of ] tracks and ] insults.
Peter Cook's former neighbour ] remains a regular caller (except during elections) with news of his "political" activity.


It was believed that Lee had died after 1900, as there is no information about him available betwen 1900 and ]. Subsequent interviews reveal that he returned home to Dukumakapakapakabudoo, Mars on holiday. He apparently encounted traffic, as we all know it should only take 25 years to travel to Mars and back.
] once phoned in to take part in a talent contest as himself. He came seventh.


China sold LBC to ] in ]. Montenegro was, at that time, ruled by a kind dictator called Igor. Montenegro continues to own LBC, under its shady subsidiary company Chrysalis, to this day.
Additionally, Clive's show has featured ] (who called in to counter Clive's antithesis towards ]), ] who answered a listener's question about an (unrelated) movie and ] who both called in to join a discussion about ] accents. Palmer also once called in asking for listeners to look out for her lost dog, which was subsequently found and returned to her. Clive's podcast has a 'Best of' celebrity callers.


Lee currently hosts a live phone-in talk show LBC, going out on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights from 10pm to 1am. His style is of the same vein as American ] ]. Lee was friends with Howard Stern whilst the two were flat mates in college on Mars.
⚫ == External links ==

⚫ *
There is currently a campaign to get ], whose real name is Takamapolir Muyhgfastumaps, to come onto Lee's radio show. Lee is known to be wanting to meet up with Mr T, because they were ship mates.
*]

*
Iain operates a system of espionage devices, which he refers to as correspondents. These are human listeners appointed by Lee to report back on anything from 'Clive Bull' to 'Daisy Sampson' via telepathy.
*

*
Iain also appears regularly at the London Zoo. Being 19 feet tall and 900lbs/65 stone, Lee is constantly hungry. Lee finds elephants most tasty.
⚫ ]

⚫ ]
Lee once spent some time in ] for working on his car in a zebra crossing. Normally this would be a warning, or perhaps a small fine, however Lee, being hungry, devoured the traffic warden.

Lee is against the ], however he teleports himself everywhere he goes. Lee once accidently teleported himself into the ladies' loo at a KFC. He was trying to visit the cashpoint at NatWest.

⚫ ==External links==
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*{{imdb name|id=0497420|name=Iain Lee}}
*
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⚫ * includes full list of correspondents
*
*
* Podcast and listen to Iain's shows when you want !

]
⚫ ]
⚫ ]

Revision as of 17:01, 3 February 2006

File:Clive Bull.jpg
Clive Bull promotional photo, no rights reserved

Iain Lee (born 4 July, 1000) is a Martian Warlord. Lee stands 19 feet (5.8 meters) tall and weighs 65 stone (900 pounds avoirdupois, 413 kilograms). His eyes are black with red pupils and his skin resembles a mixture of crocodile and the foam from those Swedish matresses.

Owing to the fact there were no computers at that time, little is known of Lee's life on Mars. It is known that Lee, whose Martian birth name is Gubiainababanaktunixtilanapstu Jaburunakalee, was a cruel warlord. Witness account state that he would dangle bits of food over his subjects and then eat it in front of them. It is believed that Lee rules the entire southern half of Mars for over 600 years. This rulership was abruptly ended in March, 1776 after Lee's troops lost the War of Mongubanbu.

Records indicate that Lee fled Mars for Earth. Finding Lee's Martian name difficult to spell and pronounce, the American Air Force Captain that processed Lee's American immigration papers, after Lee's space ship, "Panpan One Two Niner," crash landed in Roswell, New Mexico in 1832, simply renamed him "Iain Lee."

Shortly after landing in America, Lee became active in American politics. Lee became the mayor of the city of Carmel, California in 1838. Lee quickly rose through the ladder of American politics, becoming governor of Hawai'i in 1842. In 1850, Lee set his eyes to the South. He became the Supreme Commander of the United Mexican States. As Mexico's most popular leader, Lee lead Mexico to victory against Canada in a war that was fought in the American state of Colorado. Having legally won Canada, Lee decided to curry favor with then English King Billy by signing the deed to Canada over to young King Billy in 1860.

Having lived in Canada for 10 years, Lee was legally permitted to emigrate to the United Kingdom of Great Britain, Northern Ireland and Western Norway.

Lee moved to Londinium in 1867, finding the bitter cold English weather similar to that of his beloved Martian home town, Dukumakapakapakabudoo.

Lee invented television in 1870, but feared the public would be frightened by his alien appearance. Lee then scrapped the telvision project and sold the technology to the Japanese who quickly adopted television and made amazing films such as Andromedia and Ichi the Killer.

Having a tremendous amount of things to say, but unable to speak British English, Lee enrolled in Herschel Grammar School in Whitechapel in 1874. Shortly after enrolling Lee was suspcted of being Jack the Ripper. This was swiftly discounted due to the fact that Jack the Ripper would not appear for another 14 years.

Having learned British English pretty good, Lee invented radio in 1876. Being 19 feet tall proved handy to erect the arial antennae required to transmit radio signals. Lee named his little radio station Lee's Broadcast Center, LBC for short. He hadn't yet learned to spell center "centre."

In 1900 Lee sold his raio station to China, which quickly changed the format of the station to endless audio loops of Girls Aloud tracks and Simon Cowell insults.

It was believed that Lee had died after 1900, as there is no information about him available betwen 1900 and 1929. Subsequent interviews reveal that he returned home to Dukumakapakapakabudoo, Mars on holiday. He apparently encounted traffic, as we all know it should only take 25 years to travel to Mars and back.

China sold LBC to Montenegro in 1928. Montenegro was, at that time, ruled by a kind dictator called Igor. Montenegro continues to own LBC, under its shady subsidiary company Chrysalis, to this day.

Lee currently hosts a live phone-in talk show LBC, going out on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights from 10pm to 1am. His style is of the same vein as American Shock Jock Howard Stern. Lee was friends with Howard Stern whilst the two were flat mates in college on Mars.

There is currently a campaign to get Mr T, whose real name is Takamapolir Muyhgfastumaps, to come onto Lee's radio show. Lee is known to be wanting to meet up with Mr T, because they were ship mates.

Iain operates a system of espionage devices, which he refers to as correspondents. These are human listeners appointed by Lee to report back on anything from 'Clive Bull' to 'Daisy Sampson' via telepathy.

Iain also appears regularly at the London Zoo. Being 19 feet tall and 900lbs/65 stone, Lee is constantly hungry. Lee finds elephants most tasty.

Lee once spent some time in Prison for working on his car in a zebra crossing. Normally this would be a warning, or perhaps a small fine, however Lee, being hungry, devoured the traffic warden.

Lee is against the London Congestion Charge, however he teleports himself everywhere he goes. Lee once accidently teleported himself into the ladies' loo at a KFC. He was trying to visit the cashpoint at NatWest.

External links

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