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In the episode "]", he purports to be 83 years old. There appears to be some confusion as whether he is older than than fellow cast member ]. According to the ] stories, Abe is is sometimes described as older, yet Burns is often depicted as the oldest Springfieldian in other episodes. Abe boasts of having been a watchman at ] and that ] ] spanked him on two nonconsecutive occasions (a reference to Cleveland's two nonconsecutive terms of office). He dubiously claims to having "taken a shot at ]". | In the episode "]", he purports to be 83 years old. There appears to be some confusion as whether he is older than than fellow cast member ]. According to the ] stories, Abe is is sometimes described as older, yet Burns is often depicted as the oldest Springfieldian in other episodes. Abe boasts of having been a watchman at ] and that ] ] spanked him on two nonconsecutive occasions (a reference to Cleveland's two nonconsecutive terms of office). He dubiously claims to having "taken a shot at ]". | ||
Abe seems to be a member of several different organizations, including the ], the ], the ], the ] (of which he claims he briefly served as President) as well as the ] (a take on the Freemasons). | Abe seems to be a member of several different organizations, including the ], the ], the ], the ] (of which he claims he briefly served as President for reasons he is unaware of) as well as the ] (a take on the Freemasons). | ||
Abe once claimed to be in '']'', and that his legs were the ones that actually curled up when the ruby slippers were removed from the wicked witch of the east. | Abe once claimed to be in '']'', and that his legs were the ones that actually curled up when the ruby slippers were removed from the wicked witch of the east. |
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Template:Simpsons character
Abraham "Abe" Simpson, or Grampa (age 83), is a fictional character featured in the animated cartoon television series The Simpsons, voiced by Dan Castellaneta.
Early life
Abraham J. Simpson, perennially known as "Grampa" Simpson, was born in the "Old Country" as the son of Orville Simpson and Yuma Hickman. Either Scotland or Ireland seems most likely to be his place of birth, but Abe cannot remember. Indeed, almost all of his biographical information is supplied by Abe himself, and many of his memories seem wildly inaccurate and often physically or historically impossible, suggesting that Abe may be a bit senile. He once referred to Sarah Bernhardt as a former president, and claims to have personally turned cats and dogs against each other.
He claims to have immigrated to the United States with his family, who lived in the Statue of Liberty until they filled the head with garbage and had to move out. He then moved to Albany, New York, where he was supposedly voted "most handsome boy". He claims to have enlisted in the US Army during World War I by lying about his age, as he is a toddler in one war scene.
In the episode "Million Dollar Abie", he purports to be 83 years old. There appears to be some confusion as whether he is older than than fellow cast member Charles Montgomery Burns. According to the World War II stories, Abe is is sometimes described as older, yet Burns is often depicted as the oldest Springfieldian in other episodes. Abe boasts of having been a watchman at Pearl Harbor and that President Grover Cleveland spanked him on two nonconsecutive occasions (a reference to Cleveland's two nonconsecutive terms of office). He dubiously claims to having "taken a shot at Teddy Roosevelt".
Abe seems to be a member of several different organizations, including the Elks, the Freemasons, the Communist Party, the Gay and Lesbian Alliance (of which he claims he briefly served as President for reasons he is unaware of) as well as the Stonecutters (a take on the Freemasons).
Abe once claimed to be in The Wizard of Oz, and that his legs were the ones that actually curled up when the ruby slippers were removed from the wicked witch of the east.
World War II
Abe's recollections of his World War II experiences are sometimes implausible. However, at least portions of his outlandish anecdotes are proven accurate when the entire family actually meets his illegitimate British daughter, when Santa Claus flies him to see his brother in Tahiti, and when the State Department confiscates the art his army unit found in Germany. His tales also pose him as a pilot, seaman, and elite commando leader who goes on suicide missions (e.g., to assassinate Hitler) seem to be delusional.
Europe
Several episodes place him in the European theatre during the later years of the war (1944-1945). He claims to have earned the German Iron Cross, worked as transvestite can-can dancer for high-ranking Nazis, and served as sergeant in a frontline unit, the Flying Hellfish squad. Among those under his command was C. Montgomery Burns, who had been demoted to the rank of private after obstructing a probe from J. Edgar Hoover. After "liberating" a stash of priceless art from the Nazis, his unit formed a tontine, and buried the art in a trunk at sea. Decades later, Burns tries to murder Abe in order to get the art, prompting Abe to violate the tontine. When Abe and Bart retrieve the art from Burns after a spectacular confrontation, the Feds arrive to give the art to their "rightful" owner, a snooty young German aristocrat. This whole escapade indicates there is some truth to Abe's accounts.
Abe sired an illegitimate daughter in England the day before he joined the D-Day operations at Normandy. This daughter is seen in the same episode lending further credence to the idea that he served in Europe. Moreover, he once showed Bart and Lisa an album with photos of dead Germans killed by his platoon.
Pacific
Abe claims to have served on PT-109, where he hears John F. Kennedy say the phrase "Ich bin ein Berliner," prompting Abraham to yell "He's a Nazi! Get him!" causing two other crewmen to beat up JFK. Grampa Simpson has also been noted as saying "I haven't felt this relaxed since I was watchman at Pearl Harbor", implying that he had been stationed there.
In the 2005 Christmas episode, Grampa Simpson tells the story of having been a navy pilot in 1941 in the Pacific theatre, with Burns this time as his tailgunner. The story involves him being marooned on a desert island for the remainder of the war with Burns, and also involves him meeting Santa Claus. This story is apparently confirmed by the arrival of Santa Claus in the present at the end of the story although as a Christmas episode its place in canon is ambiguous. The episode also introduced Grampa's older brother Cyrus.
Education
In the aforementioned 2005 Christmas episode "Simpsons Christmas Stories", Abe Simpson asserts authority over Monty Burns as the stronger man and in military rank. Earlier, he had said that Burns was a lieutenant serving as an airplane pilot, which would make Abe Simpson a first lieutenant or better. (As a commissioned officer, Abe Simpson probably has a college degree but he does mention that he was a sergeant, and hence likely to be a mustang rather than a military academy graduate).
Adulthood
There is evidence that Abe was not a particularly caring father to Homer (evidenced when he tells Homer on his first day of school, "Homer, you're dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If a strange man offers you a ride, I say take it!") Homer does not generally resent these casual abuses, though Homer did place his father in a decrepit nursing home.
Abe held a variety of postwar jobs, including a farmer in Homer's early childhood until the bank foreclosed (when the cows gave sour milk after Homer spooked them). Abe was also a watchman at a cranberry silo. He spent most of this time living in a house he won on a crooked 1950s game show, until selling it to help Homer buy a house for his family. Abe moved in with the family, but was sent to a retirement home some three weeks later.
In the episode "Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble"", Abraham's kidneys 'burst' after Homer would not let him go to the bathroom. Homer wound up (unwillingly) donating one of his kidneys to his father.
Work
- Soldier, pilot and cancan dancer in WWII (see WWII section above)
- Matador in the episode "Million Dollar Abie"
- Employee at Krusty Burger
- Greeter at Sprawl-Mart the episode "The Fat and the Furriest"
- Credited with writing several Itchy & Scratchy episodes (ghostwritten by Bart & Lisa) in "The Front"
Family
Abraham Simpson is estranged husband to Mona Simpson, father to Homer Simpson, father-in-law to Marge Simpson and grandfather to siblings Bart, Lisa and Maggie. He also fathered two illegitimate children; a daughter named Abbie by a British lady named Edwina while in England during World War II and Herbert Powell with a carnival hooker. He was briefly married to Amber, the same woman Homer married on a Vegas binge. Also in The Simpsons Uncensored Family Album, the family tree shows his parents' names to be Orville Simpson and Yuma Hickman. Abe's brother Cyrus appeared in the Christmas 2005 episode. Cyrus lives in Tahiti with multiple wives.
Abraham Simpson has the same first name as Matt Groening's real-life grandfather. But the writers of The Simpsons were actually the ones that chose the name, not Groening -- an interesting coincidence, especially since Groening personally named almost every other Simpson character after a family member. Also, one of Matt Groening's sons is named Abraham.
The fact that he is called "Grampa" seems obvious since he is grandfather to Bart, Lisa and Maggie. However, his Junior Buckaroo (ID) Badge reads "Little Grampa Simpson". Since it is thought that he obtained his badge during childhood, it can be assumed that this was thrown in as a sight gag. He also calls himself "young Grampa Simpson" in "Simpsons Christmas Stories" in a World War II flashback -- a good twenty years before his first son would be born. This may be attributed to his failing mind, however, as the story is somewhat fantastic in nature.
Abraham Simpson apparently has an elder brother named Cyrus, who was shot down when serving in World War II and lived out most of his life on the island of Tahiti. At the end of "Million Dollar Abie", Grampa makes reference to a brother named Bill.
Romantic life
He was married for several years to Mona, who became entranced with the hippie lifestyle after watching Joe Namath on TV. She became a fugitive from justice after she abetted in the sabotage of a biological weapons research lab owned by Montgomery Burns. Abe tells a six-year-old Homer that Mona died while Homer was at the movies. Some three decades later, Mona and Homer have a chance encounter at Springfield Cemetery. (Each thought the other was dead: she was visiting "his" grave, and he was visiting "hers"). Homer takes her home to meet his family, where she spends the next few days. After the initial shock of seeing her again, Abe begs Mona for sex, but she turns him down flat. Mona is forced to go underground again when Burns again comes after her.
Before his marriage during World War II, Abe had an affair with a woman in England named Edwina, producing an illegitimate daughter, Abbie, whom he did not meet until she was grown. .
He once even dated a 120-year-old woman, who was the nurse who delivered Eubie Blake. But the short-lived romance ends after she spends much time with the Guinness crowd. He wore a 13 pound beard of bees for her, but it was not enough to win her back.
Another affair, with a nameless prostitute he met at a carnival, produced Herbert. Herb was adopted by Edward Powell and Mililani Osler and worked his way up from poverty to found a successful automotive business. Believing himself to be dying, Abe confesses Herb's existence to Homer, who goes on a quest to find his half-brother. Upon learning that Herb is a multi-millionaire, Abe grouses: "I kept the wrong kid." By the time he is able to visit see him, Herb has been bankrupted by Homer's whacked-out prototype concept car (or, as Lisa puts it: "He was a rousing success until he found out he was a Simpson.")
In his golden years, Abe dated Bea Simmons (voice by Audrey Meadows), a fellow resident of his retirement home. Bea died and left Abe a little over $100,000 in her will. After some soul-searching (interviewing an endless stream of Springfielders, each of whom wanted him to fund various schemes), Abe went to a casino. Homer keeps him from losing the whole bundle at roulette. He finally decides to use the money to refurbish the falling-down Springfield Retirement Castle, including a fancy new memorial dining hall in Bea's name.
He briefly dated another fellow golden-ager named Zelda, but her head is turned by a slick elderly gentleman at the home with a spiffy car. Abe realized, following an ill-fated jaunt to Branson, Missouri that she was a "hoochie" and totally wrong for him.
He also dated his daughter-in-law's mother, Jacqueline Bouvier. She later started dating Charles Montgomery Burns and almost married him, though the marriage was stopped by Abe.
Abe at one point taking cards out of wallet reveals he is a Communist as well as president of the gay and lesbian alliance for some reason. Perhaps he is more sexually experimentive than we are lead to believe.
Personality
Grampa Simpson is an old, grizzled, periodically incontinent and quite senile figure who lives in the Springfield Retirement Castle, a sad, lonely place filled with demented, crippled and depressed old people. (A sign near the entrance says "Thank you for not discussing the outside world"). His closest friend appears to be Jasper, a fellow Retirement Castle resident.
His rambling stories trail away in forgetfulness, and sometimes Abe falls asleep in the middle of a statement:
- "You see, back in those days, rich men would ride around in zeppelins, dropping coins on people, and one day I seen J. D. Rockefeller flying by. So I run out of the house with a big washtub and... hey! Where are you going?"
- "Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. I used my washtub that morning to clean my turkey, which back then was called a 'walking bird'. We had walking bird on Thanksgiving with cranberry sauce, Injun eyes, and yams stuffed with gunpowder. We also sat around and watched football, which back then was called baseball."
- "Anyway, 'long story short,' is a phrase whose origins are complicated and rambling."
They sometimes cause serious delay, as in a shopping line at Monstromart:
- "This nickel has a long and interesting history. It dates back to one morning in 1957. I got up and made myself a piece of toast. I set the toaster to 3 — medium brown . . . "
A recurring feature is Abe's constant explanation of what happened "in those days":
- "We can’t bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don’t go anywhere -- like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. 'Give me five bees for a quarter,' you’d say.
- "Now where were we? Oh yeah -- the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."
- "You never know what you're capable of. For example, I never thought that I could shoot down a German plane. Last year I proved myself wrong." (Said during the present day, NOT during a flashback to World War II).
Bart and Lisa dread his occasional childminding sessions; even a phone call has its dangers ("...and that's everything which happened in my life right up to the time I got this phone call...") -- at least until he falls asleep and leaves them to their own devices. In the meantime, he fills his time with complaining about anything and everything to anyone and everyone he can find.
Another notable instance of the dangers of calling Abe on the phone:
Lisa: Hi, Grandpa, how are you?
Grandpa: Well, you're really asking yourself two questions there. The first takes me back to 1926: Admiral Byrd had just flown a plane over the North Pole, mere hours ahead of the Three Stooges...
Abe is President of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance according to a card he finds in his wallet, although he does not know why. (Oddly, he enjoys homosexual fantasies, such as being the Belle of the West, telling two gunfighters, "Stop! You can both marry me!") He is also an Elk, a Mason, a Communist, and member of the Stonecutters, enabling Homer to join this secret society.
He spends a good deal of his time writing letters of complaint. He once wrote to the President, complaining that there were too many states, and requesting that they get rid of three of them. He also owns a 49-star American flag, because of his undefined hatred of the state of Missouri: "I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missoura." He also holds a grudge against the Swedes, sometimes exclaiming remarks like, "The Swedes are coming! The Swedes are coming! They got lingonberries!" He calls Homer a cowardly Swede for being terrified by a large bear.
Abe Simpson once shook his fist at a cloud, which was publicized in the local newspaper.
Abe Simpson appears to be about 5' 11" tall.
Relations
Abraham Simpson is:
- Husband of Mona J. Simpson
- Husband of Amber from Las Vegas, Homers former secret wife
- Father of Abbie, Herbert Powell, and Homer Jay Simpson
- Grandfather of Bart, Lisa and Maggie Simpson
- Brother of Cyrus Simpson — who was not mentioned until the December 18, 2005 episode Simpsons Christmas Stories. Cyrus went missing in action during World War II, but survives to this day in Tahiti.
- Brother of Bill Simpson - mentioned in a flashback when Abraham denounced him as a Communist to the House Un-American Activities Committee.
Episodes Starring Abraham
This is a list of Simpsons episodes in which Abe Simpson plays a substantial role in driving the plot, not simply a supporting role.
- Old Money (Season 2, Episode 17) Abe ponders what to do with an inheritance.
- The Front (Season 4, Episode 19) Abe becomes a celebrated cartoon writer, with Bart and Lisa doing all the work.
- Lady Bouvier's Lover (Season 5, Episode 21) Abe courts Marge's mother.
- Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy (Season 6, Episode 10) Abe and Homer go into business selling a highly effective impotence cure.
- Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish" (Season 7, Episode 22) Abe tries to recover paintings his unit looted from the Nazis.
- Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble" (Season 10, Episode 8) Abe's kidneys explode and Homer is the only viable donor
- The Old Man and the Key (Season 13, Episode 13) A smitten Abe drives to Missouri to win back his love.
- Simpsons Christmas Stories (Season 17, Episode 9) The middle of three segments depicts a surreal anecdote from Abe's war days.
- Million Dollar Abie (Season 17, Episode 16) Abe gains a new lease on life as a bullfighter.