| Revision as of 15:44, 21 December 2006 editSandyGeorgia (talk | contribs)Autopatrolled, Extended confirmed users, Page movers, File movers, Mass message senders, New page reviewers, Pending changes reviewers, Rollbackers, Template editors279,000 edits →[]: Object← Previous edit | Revision as of 16:06, 21 December 2006 edit undoWiki alf (talk | contribs)62,119 edits →[]: replyNext edit → | ||
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| *'''Object''' - 1a, 1c and 2. The first section I checked (People associated with the College) is uncited, has poor prose (examples - "Their most famous undergraduate is probably Sir Walter Raleigh, a 16th century explorer, though he was registered at college, he does not seem to have taken up residence." and "Like other Oxford colleges, Oriel has a more or less permanent set of teaching staff, known as dons."), and uses the Summary style templates incorrectly. Fixing Tony's *examples* isn't enough to correct the prose. ] (]) 15:44, 21 December 2006 (UTC) | *'''Object''' - 1a, 1c and 2. The first section I checked (People associated with the College) is uncited, has poor prose (examples - "Their most famous undergraduate is probably Sir Walter Raleigh, a 16th century explorer, though he was registered at college, he does not seem to have taken up residence." and "Like other Oxford colleges, Oriel has a more or less permanent set of teaching staff, known as dons."), and uses the Summary style templates incorrectly. Fixing Tony's *examples* isn't enough to correct the prose. ] (]) 15:44, 21 December 2006 (UTC) | ||
| :The "poor prose" "Like other..." was the same as as for ChristChurch college article, and that sentence has now been removed. There was a cite in the section for the Professorial Fellowships, I felt it uneccessary to cite obviously verfiable figures like the two nobel laureates, I've added one Walter Raleigh, the info about him not taking up residence is in his article, I am unable to reference it myself so I have removed it. I'm not sure what you mean by the 'uses Summary style templates incorrectly" — the full list of students got too long for the article and was moved to it's own page, should I move it back instead? --] <sup><font color="green">]</font></sup> 16:06, 21 December 2006 (UTC) | |||
Revision as of 16:06, 21 December 2006
Oriel College
Self nomination, I now feel that the topic is covered fully and meets the requirements for FA.--Alf 13:15, 21 December 2006 (UTC)
- Object—1a. Here are random examples of why the whole text requires copy-editing.
- "The original medieval foundation set up by Adam de Brome, under the patronage of Edward II, was named The House of Blessed Mary the Virgin in Oxford, with the first design allowing for a Provost and ten Fellows, called 'scholars', and before admitting undergraduates in the 16th century, the College remained a small body of graduate Fellows." A long, curling snake. The last statement is awkwardly jammed into the sentence.
- "high ranking members"—Spot where the hyphen should go.
- The link to "18th century" is extremely relevant to this text.
- "law suit"—two words?
- "Oriel's notable alumni include two Nobel laureates and prominent Fellows have included John Keble and John Henry Newman, founders of the Oxford Movement." Again, the integration of ideas into sentences needs attention. Perhaps "laureates; prominent"?
- "students, the student"—in an awkard sentence.
- Last sentence: "is"?
This embarrasses the many great minds that have emerged from the institution. Tony 14:18, 21 December 2006 (UTC)
- Thanks, the two previous copy-edits didn't pick those up, I have fixed all those except "curling snake", which was a result of fixing the black-out effect of having four names too close to each other. I'll look at that again. I assume that the 18th century link comment is sarcasm and have removed it accordingly. --Alf 14:54, 21 December 2006 (UTC)
- Object - 1a, 1c and 2. The first section I checked (People associated with the College) is uncited, has poor prose (examples - "Their most famous undergraduate is probably Sir Walter Raleigh, a 16th century explorer, though he was registered at college, he does not seem to have taken up residence." and "Like other Oxford colleges, Oriel has a more or less permanent set of teaching staff, known as dons."), and uses the Summary style templates incorrectly. Fixing Tony's *examples* isn't enough to correct the prose. Sandy (Talk) 15:44, 21 December 2006 (UTC)
- The "poor prose" "Like other..." was the same as as for ChristChurch college article, and that sentence has now been removed. There was a cite in the section for the Professorial Fellowships, I felt it uneccessary to cite obviously verfiable figures like the two nobel laureates, I've added one Walter Raleigh, the info about him not taking up residence is in his article, I am unable to reference it myself so I have removed it. I'm not sure what you mean by the 'uses Summary style templates incorrectly" — the full list of students got too long for the article and was moved to it's own page, should I move it back instead? --Alf 16:06, 21 December 2006 (UTC)