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| == David Wall == | == David Wall == | ||
| '''David Wall gives hope to every man with a small kettle!''' | '''David Wall gives hope to every man with a small kettle!''' | ||
Revision as of 00:11, 16 January 2007
David Wall
David Wall gives hope to every man with a small kettle!
David wall is an exceptionally honourable man with good teeth, excellent career prospects, lovely head of original hair, and a dehabilitating crush on Melanie Jane Shaw. He is also rumoured to have been behind the theory of proportionality of kettles vs penis size (Wall's Law).
The Man: David Wall currently resides on the D-Deck at the University of Sheffield's Halifax Hall. He arrived, as an innocent, buoyant chap from Bolton. However the tides turned as he submerged himself into his surrounding culture. This has lead to David actually becoming an alcoholic. David became an alcoholic to appear more manly in the eyes of his darling Melanie. David would love to roger Melanie 24hours a day 365 days per year. David though, has not yet found the courage to ask her out and as a result has become a quivering mess and has had to resort to buggering possums.
The Legend: David is famous for his postulation of one's penis size being directly inproportionate to the size of the kettle that one owns. David by the way is famous amongst his buddies and well wishers for having an impressively small kettle. Some say that he has the smallest kettle in the world. This means that he has the biggest penis. (How could Mel turn him down???).
The Joker: Dave enjoys being the recipient of practical jokes in fact it is perfectly acceptable to frame him for any trouble or to even flood his room. David just loves to be at the centre of attention.
Facts about David that you did not know:
Favourite colour: Vermillion
Bum crack: home of small gerbil called Bob Wilson
Prefered floor surface: Sugar / Water
Hall card: snapped
Mental health: Questionable
Political Views: Facist
Tattoos: 3 large swastikas
Favourite BBC News reader: Huw Edwards
The career: David is aspriring to being a pilot, however we have heard that he is not all that good at attempting to fly things. So he might just take a lot of drugs so that he can fly without a license.
David Wall: The Man, the legend, but no myth!