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The lead
The lead is a disaster. Nobody doubts that Nawi has been charged with and/or convicted of numerous offences but that does not mean one has to blanket the lead with the minutiae of all cases.
- The statutory rape case is detailed in too much detail. All kinds of caveats and detailing of minutiae are present. This is not a matter for the lead. Only the fact of the conviction should be noted only in the lead and elaborated later on the article. The Norris matter belongs in the Norris article, if anywhere.
- The Uvda case is a prime example of WP:RECENTISM. One can note the story and give a capsule summary, but it is way WP:UNDUE to devote a large paragraph in the lead and give all reactions of everyone, only to finally end with the courts dismissing the arrest.
I have made the following changes to the lead:
- Removed all detail about the statutory rape case, just noting the fact of the conviction for statutory rape.
- Added a note about Palestinian law forbidding land sales to Israelis.
- Removed all details about the arrest. It was nullified in a couple of weeks and is simply one more episode of the many arrests which the lead states.
Feel free to revert/edit/discuss/whatever. Kingsindian ♝ ♚ 18:51, 4 February 2016 (UTC)
- I made a small tweak but otherwise I'm fine with the changes. No More Mr Nice Guy (talk) 19:06, 4 February 2016 (UTC)
- On second thought it now once again looks like he only spent time in prison as a "consequence of his activism". Please fix that. Nishidani gets mad when I do. No More Mr Nice Guy (talk) 20:23, 4 February 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks for fixing the disaster, Kingsindian. As to NMMGG's point just above. I don't get 'mad'. I object to people making edits on the basis of challenges that misread the natural syntax and sense of English sentences. There is no implication in the text that several short stints in prison mentioned were related to anything other than his activism. A spell in gaol for a statutory rape charge is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a consequence of his political 'activism'.Nishidani (talk) 20:38, 4 February 2016 (UTC)
- Several people have said it reads to them as if he only spent time in jail "as a consequence of his activism". The fact he was convicted of other offenses does not mean he spent time in jail as a result of those convictions, so the lead must specify. Please fix it or I will. No More Mr Nice Guy (talk) 20:52, 4 February 2016 (UTC)
- I did not change that sentence of the lead. I only removed the details of the statutory rape case. I am unsure on how to fix it, and whether it needs fixing. You can have a go if you like. Kingsindian ♝ ♚ 20:56, 4 February 2016 (UTC)
- (edit conflict)You removed the stuff around it that said he was in jail for reasons that can't be construed as being part of his activism, such as statutory rape. It definitely needs fixing unless you want a Misplaced Pages article to imply that statutory rape was part of Nawi's activism. I'd rather not do it again because that results in walls of rambling text. I will if no-one else does, though. No More Mr Nice Guy (talk) 21:01, 4 February 2016 (UTC)
- NMMGG. Trinacrialucente and yourself are not several people. I gave a detailed analysis of the point above. No one answered that. A fix is easy to satisfy this, to me, misreading of elementary English, to avoid even misprisions by careless readers, and I have provided it. Nishidani (talk) 21:08, 4 February 2016 (UTC)
- I did not change that sentence of the lead. I only removed the details of the statutory rape case. I am unsure on how to fix it, and whether it needs fixing. You can have a go if you like. Kingsindian ♝ ♚ 20:56, 4 February 2016 (UTC)
- Several people have said it reads to them as if he only spent time in jail "as a consequence of his activism". The fact he was convicted of other offenses does not mean he spent time in jail as a result of those convictions, so the lead must specify. Please fix it or I will. No More Mr Nice Guy (talk) 20:52, 4 February 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks for fixing the disaster, Kingsindian. As to NMMGG's point just above. I don't get 'mad'. I object to people making edits on the basis of challenges that misread the natural syntax and sense of English sentences. There is no implication in the text that several short stints in prison mentioned were related to anything other than his activism. A spell in gaol for a statutory rape charge is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a consequence of his political 'activism'.Nishidani (talk) 20:38, 4 February 2016 (UTC)
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