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Revision as of 15:39, 3 May 2008 editElonka (talk | contribs)Autopatrolled, Administrators70,959 edits Notating fixes, in process← Previous edit Revision as of 13:44, 5 May 2008 edit undoElonka (talk | contribs)Autopatrolled, Administrators70,959 edits Noting the rest of the fixes, and final replyNext edit →
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** I have provided the ones that I know about. --]]] 15:39, 3 May 2008 (UTC) ** I have provided the ones that I know about. --]]] 15:39, 3 May 2008 (UTC)
* All reference citations should have the following format: Author (last, first name), Title, Place of Publishing (if required): Publisher, date (retrieval date). An example is: * All reference citations should have the following format: Author (last, first name), Title, Place of Publishing (if required): Publisher, date (retrieval date). An example is:
Judith Newmark. "How a Disney made-for-TV movie suddenly became ... A 'high school' craze", 'St. Louis Post Dispatch', 2007-01-21. should appear as: Newmark, Judith. "How a Disney made-for-TV movie suddenly became... A 'high school' craze." ''St. Louis Post Dispatch'', ] ]. Retrieved: ] ]. *:Judith Newmark. "How a Disney made-for-TV movie suddenly became ... A 'high school' craze", 'St. Louis Post Dispatch', 2007-01-21. should appear as: *:Newmark, Judith. "How a Disney made-for-TV movie suddenly became... A 'high school' craze." ''St. Louis Post Dispatch'', ] ]. Retrieved: ] ].
** Fixed. --]]] 15:39, 3 May 2008 (UTC) ** Fixed. --]]] 15:39, 3 May 2008 (UTC)
* Why is there an ISO dating in the references? * Why is there an ISO dating in the references?
** I'm not understanding this one, please be more specific? --]]] 13:44, 5 May 2008 (UTC)
* There is no consistency in retrieval dates used for citations, some have them, some don't * There is no consistency in retrieval dates used for citations, some have them, some don't
** The ones that are online have retrieval dates. --]]] 15:39, 3 May 2008 (UTC) ** The ones that are online have retrieval dates. --]]] 15:39, 3 May 2008 (UTC)
* "Dirty Dancing: Live in Concert" should be in italics as a title of a work * "Dirty Dancing: Live in Concert" should be in italics as a title of a work
** Fixed. --]]] 13:44, 5 May 2008 (UTC)
* There is no cast list or cast section * There is no cast list or cast section
** This is one of those things I've been getting conflicting advice about. Some people like cast lists, others don't. I opted to remove it entirely --]]] 15:39, 3 May 2008 (UTC) ** This is one of those things I've been getting conflicting advice about. Some people like cast lists, others don't. I opted to remove it entirely --]]] 15:39, 3 May 2008 (UTC)
* "seventeen-year-old" is normally written out as "17-year old" * "seventeen-year-old" is normally written out as "17-year old"
** Fixed. --]]] 13:44, 5 May 2008 (UTC)
* "wrapped up" is normally "wrapped" in film lingo * "wrapped up" is normally "wrapped" in film lingo
** Fixed. --]]] 13:44, 5 May 2008 (UTC)
* "Many filmgoers, after seeing the film once, went right back into the theater to watch it a second time." is inconsistent, did you mean they immediately went back to catch the next showing? probably not. Suggestion: "Many filmgoers, after seeing the film once, went back to watch it a second time." (based on the premise that you didn't literally mean that they watched the film twice in succession) * "Many filmgoers, after seeing the film once, went right back into the theater to watch it a second time." is inconsistent, did you mean they immediately went back to catch the next showing? probably not. Suggestion: "Many filmgoers, after seeing the film once, went back to watch it a second time." (based on the premise that you didn't literally mean that they watched the film twice in succession)
** The first meaning is correct. They left the theater, turned around, bought another ticket and went right back in. --]]] 13:44, 5 May 2008 (UTC)
* "So Vestron promoted the film themselves, and it premiered on August 16, 1987." could be more effectively written as "Consequently Vestron promoted the film themselves; premiering ''Dirty Dancing'' on August 16, 1987." These two thoughts/main ideas could also be two separate sentences as the promotion is not necessarily tied to its premiere. * "So Vestron promoted the film themselves, and it premiered on August 16, 1987." could be more effectively written as "Consequently Vestron promoted the film themselves; premiering ''Dirty Dancing'' on August 16, 1987." These two thoughts/main ideas could also be two separate sentences as the promotion is not necessarily tied to its premiere.
** Tweaked. --]]] 13:44, 5 May 2008 (UTC)
* "off the script." usually written "off script" * "off the script." usually written "off script"
** Fixed. --]]] 13:44, 5 May 2008 (UTC)
* "Other casting choices were Broadway actor Jerry Orbach as Dr. Jake Houseman, Baby's father; and Jane Brucker as Lisa Houseman, Baby's older sister." could be written as "Other casting choices were Broadway actor Jerry Orbach as Dr. Jake Houseman, Baby's father and Jane Brucker as Lisa Houseman, Baby's older sister." (no need for a semi-colon) * "Other casting choices were Broadway actor Jerry Orbach as Dr. Jake Houseman, Baby's father; and Jane Brucker as Lisa Houseman, Baby's older sister." could be written as "Other casting choices were Broadway actor Jerry Orbach as Dr. Jake Houseman, Baby's father and Jane Brucker as Lisa Houseman, Baby's older sister." (no need for a semi-colon)
** Hmm, the "Baby's father and Jane Brucker" sounds odd to me without punctuation to separate the thoughts. --]]] 13:44, 5 May 2008 (UTC)
* "Baby then proceeds through tests and trials (dancing lessons, Penny's abortion, the performance at the Sheldrake) to achieve personal growth, "knowledge acquired through personal experience", for which she is rewarded, by sexual union with Johnny." (sentence too long, consider two sentences) * "Baby then proceeds through tests and trials (dancing lessons, Penny's abortion, the performance at the Sheldrake) to achieve personal growth, "knowledge acquired through personal experience", for which she is rewarded, by sexual union with Johnny." (sentence too long, consider two sentences)
** Adjusted. --]]] 13:44, 5 May 2008 (UTC)

After saying all that, the article is a comprehensive, well-written and eminently interesting article. FWiW, all my comments hinge on minor aspects of the writing and referencing. 15:08, 13 April 2008 (UTC). After saying all that, the article is a comprehensive, well-written and eminently interesting article. FWiW, all my comments hinge on minor aspects of the writing and referencing. 15:08, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
:Thanks very much! With all the comments here, the article is much stronger as a result. I look forward to submitting it for FA again soon, please let me know if you have any other suggestions. --]]] 13:44, 5 May 2008 (UTC)

Revision as of 13:44, 5 May 2008

Dirty Dancing

Seeking to take the article about this 1987 film to Featured status. It's already been through one WikiProject Peer Review in June 2007, and is at Good Article status, but an FA nomination a month ago did not succeed. I've done some more cleanup since then, and am seeking another Peer Review before trying again for FA. Thanks, Elonka 12:38, 5 April 2008 (UTC)

  • The story details the moment of time that a teenaged girl crosses over into womanhood both physically and emotionally - have a think about this bolded bit and see if it reads any less with it out. Can definitely lose the 'both', the adjectives don't really add much but make it more cumbersome to read.
    • Hmm, will think about it. It's sort of one of the key elements of the story, and as I recall some of the crew described it this way, but I'll think if there's a different way to word it. --Elonka 07:25, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
  • As she further befriends the staff, - I find this clunky but an alternatve is yet to spring to mind...
  • pursues a clandestine affair anyway. - I haven't actually seen the film. If they are already in some form of relationship I'd use continues rather than pursues here.
  • Homework - make a stub for It's My Turn the movie as this links to the song.

OK - prosewise it isn't too bad. I picked up a few things an no doubt others will pick up more. WRT comprehensiveness, it looks pretty good, I wonder if there isn't some other scholarly critique which discusses its success and/or place in culture in a bit more detail. It would be fantastic to add something if there was something about. The last section Other versions' is a bit stubby, a few more words on each item may make it run a bit better. Anyway, not too far away. Must see this one day I guess....Cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 19:25, 5 April 2008 (UTC)

Thanks very much for your time! In terms of a scholarly work, there's this, I'll see what I can work in:
Wiams, William (2004-11-20). "Baby in the Underworld: Myth and Tragic Vision in Dirty Dancing" (pdf). Retrieved 2008-04-06.
--Elonka 07:25, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
Brilliant find. Have a read and see what you can add. Cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs)
Alright, I've grokked it and have added a new section, Dirty Dancing#Plot analysis, let me know what you think? --Elonka 00:34, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
Comments by Matthewedwards (talk · contribs)

That's all from me. Any comments, questions, or if you need a re-review or follow-up, let me know. -- ṃ•α•Ł•ṭ•ʰ•Ə•Щ• @ 00:46, 8 April 2008 (UTC)

Thanks for the help!  :) --Elonka 07:58, 8 April 2008 (UTC)

Review by User:Bzuk

  • Given the iconic nature of the film, textual sources should be available and included as a bibliography
  • All reference citations should have the following format: Author (last, first name), Title, Place of Publishing (if required): Publisher, date (retrieval date). An example is:
    Judith Newmark. "How a Disney made-for-TV movie suddenly became ... A 'high school' craze", 'St. Louis Post Dispatch', 2007-01-21. should appear as: *:Newmark, Judith. "How a Disney made-for-TV movie suddenly became... A 'high school' craze." St. Louis Post Dispatch, January 21 2007. Retrieved: April 13 2008.
  • Why is there an ISO dating in the references?
  • There is no consistency in retrieval dates used for citations, some have them, some don't
  • "Dirty Dancing: Live in Concert" should be in italics as a title of a work
  • There is no cast list or cast section
    • This is one of those things I've been getting conflicting advice about. Some people like cast lists, others don't. I opted to remove it entirely --Elonka 15:39, 3 May 2008 (UTC)
  • "seventeen-year-old" is normally written out as "17-year old"
  • "wrapped up" is normally "wrapped" in film lingo
  • "Many filmgoers, after seeing the film once, went right back into the theater to watch it a second time." is inconsistent, did you mean they immediately went back to catch the next showing? probably not. Suggestion: "Many filmgoers, after seeing the film once, went back to watch it a second time." (based on the premise that you didn't literally mean that they watched the film twice in succession)
    • The first meaning is correct. They left the theater, turned around, bought another ticket and went right back in. --Elonka 13:44, 5 May 2008 (UTC)
  • "So Vestron promoted the film themselves, and it premiered on August 16, 1987." could be more effectively written as "Consequently Vestron promoted the film themselves; premiering Dirty Dancing on August 16, 1987." These two thoughts/main ideas could also be two separate sentences as the promotion is not necessarily tied to its premiere.
  • "off the script." usually written "off script"
  • "Other casting choices were Broadway actor Jerry Orbach as Dr. Jake Houseman, Baby's father; and Jane Brucker as Lisa Houseman, Baby's older sister." could be written as "Other casting choices were Broadway actor Jerry Orbach as Dr. Jake Houseman, Baby's father and Jane Brucker as Lisa Houseman, Baby's older sister." (no need for a semi-colon)
  • "Baby then proceeds through tests and trials (dancing lessons, Penny's abortion, the performance at the Sheldrake) to achieve personal growth, "knowledge acquired through personal experience", for which she is rewarded, by sexual union with Johnny." (sentence too long, consider two sentences)

After saying all that, the article is a comprehensive, well-written and eminently interesting article. FWiW, all my comments hinge on minor aspects of the writing and referencing. 15:08, 13 April 2008 (UTC)

Thanks very much! With all the comments here, the article is much stronger as a result. I look forward to submitting it for FA again soon, please let me know if you have any other suggestions. --Elonka 13:44, 5 May 2008 (UTC)