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"The List" is episode 1114 (#167) of Comedy Central's South Park, and was the Season 11 finale. It originally aired on November 14, 2007.

Plot

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The boys discover that the girls in their class have made a list of them, ordered by cuteness. The boys, after two attempts, eventually succeed in stealing the list and post it on the wall of the Boys' Bathroom (where the girls cannot get it back) and discover the list is as follows:

1. Clyde
2. Token
3. Stan
4. Bradley
5. Jason
6. Leroy
7. Kenny
8. Tweek
9. Kevin
10. Jimmy
11. Butters
12. Craig
13. Timmy
14. Francis
15. Cartman
16. Kyle

Kyle's spirits plummet after this discovery, especially as he's ranked uglier than his nemesis, Cartman. Meanwhile, Clyde's ego inflates dramatically and he starts flirting with many girls at school. Unlike Cartman and Butters (whose ego has also inflated and has unexplainably become mean to Kyle), he does not mock Kyle and kindly reassures him that Abraham Lincoln, who was apparently ugly, accomplished so much. However, Kyle, in an act of depression, starts hanging out with the ugly kids in the school. He gets the idea from a boy named Jamal to burn the school down. He is visited by the Ghost of Abraham Lincoln, who shows him that ugliness is a gift, not a curse, as one who is ugly has nothing handed to them and must earn it themselves and discover it useful when they turn 40 while those who are attractive will be handed everything and thus will develop no redeeming character. Apparently ignoring this advice, Kyle decides to go ahead with his plans of arson, as he cannot wait as long as 31 years for happiness.

Meanwhile, Stan (who was ranked third on the list) watches Kyle's behavior with increasing unease. Eventually, he asks his ex-girlfriend, Wendy (whom he is no longer speaking to) why Kyle was voted ugliest. Wendy agrees that it seems like a wrong decision, as she voted Cartman ugliest. Upon bringing the case to her list-making society, which is similar to the United States Congress, it is decided that the list would be re-opened if a good reason to do so is found. Upon inspection of the list ballots, they discover Clyde's votes put him in the bottom five of the list, and visit Wendy's friend, Rebecca, to discuss the matter. However, Rebecca warns Wendy that she may discover a secret she "couldn't handle." Suspicious, Wendy explains to her List Committee that Rebecca may have tampered with the list and that this is a reason the list should be re-made. However, the girls quickly reveal the plot that Rebecca, themselves and Bebe, the head of the Committee are in on - Clyde's father owns a local shoe-store, and they wanted to make Clyde popular to justify dating him and getting free shoes. In order to do this, they hid the real list and forged a new one (the exact list the boys stole).

Wendy, shocked and outraged that the Committee would abuse their power, steals the real list from them and she and Stan run off to find Kyle, who is about to set the school alight, while cursing God. They explain the truth to him, but then Bebe shows up and holds them at gunpoint, while admitting that Kyle was a "casualty" of their plot, as moving Clyde necessitated in moving other boys because Clyde was voted in the bottom five. However, Wendy has called the police, who arrive almost at once. Bebe is shocked, which Wendy takes advantage of to wrestle the gun from her. However, a shot goes off, flies all the way across town and kills Kenny as he eats pop tarts at home. Bebe is arrested and taken to prison.

Kyle, however, refuses to take a look at the real list, fearing an inflated ego that Abraham Lincoln's ghost warned him about. Instead, he uses some of his flammable liquid to burn it. Wendy admits to Stan that she has enjoyed hanging out with him and feels that he has changed a lot since their breakup. In a near-exact copy of Cartman Gets an Anal Probe's climax scene (which signaled the beginning of their original relationship), Wendy's attempt to kiss him is interrupted when he vomits in her face (He vomits on her much more than the other times), an old running gag that tied into their original relationship. This signals their reconciliation.

Deleted scenes

• In an extended/alternate ending, after Stan vomits on Wendy, she smiles at him (because Stan still loves her). Kyle declares that no one will ever know who was really on the bottom, but Wendy admits that she looked, and it was Cartman. Afterwards, Cartman is seen sitting angrily with the ugly kids, saying "This is bullcrap!" Butters then teases Cartman by shouting towards him, "Hey, ugly bugly! Did Adolf Zitler launch a Zitzkrieg across your face?!" Cartman, offended by this, says "Oh well, that's fine! What really matters is the kind of person I am on the inside." Realizing what he just said, he bangs his head down on the table and mutters, "Oh, goddamn it." The ugly kid who asked for Kyle's pickle earlier then steals Cartman's pickle right off his plate. The entire scene is available on the Official South Park Studios website.

Groups of children in varying grades

The ugly kids

The Ugly Kids are background student characters who have premiered in the season eleven finale "The List". Due to their ugliness, they are forbidden to sit with the other children in the school, and are forced to sit together at one table at lunchtime.

Jamal

He has a slightly squashed face, black hair and big ears. He has a particular hatred for the school and even inspires Kyle (who was ranked ugliest in his class) to commit arson and burn down the school. He speaks with a speech sound disorder, so when he says that he wants to "burn the school down, down to the ground," the words "down" and "ground" sound similar. Ironically, Jamal is an Arabic name meaning "beautiful".

The Pickle Kid

He has an overly large forehead similar to Timmy's. His favorite food is pickles. He loves them so much that he constantly feels compelled to ask others if they are going to eat theirs. In the deleted scene from the episode, he steals Eric Cartman's pickle right off of his plate. Possibly one of the most unnerving characteristics of this boy is the way he chews. He chews his food in a slow and awkward fashion, moving his jaw in a circular motion (which is very unlike how the other characters chew with the harsh chomping motions). He has a low and raspy voice that sounds dim and unintelligent. His voice also has a minor nasal quality similar to Craig or Clyde's.

Small-eyed kid

She has long, brown hair and glasses that make her eyes seem huge. However, when Kyle tries to take them off, they reveal that she has two tiny dots for eyes. Kyle hurriedly puts the glasses back on. She also has poorly maintained teeth. With his glasses removed, she bears a resemblance to Butthead of Beavis and Butthead.

High-mouthed girl

She has a mouth that is incredibly high up on her face (though not above her nose) and long blond hair tied up into a ponytail. She has an unusually deep voice and she is obese.

Askew-faced kid

He is a brown haired boy with a face that's askew and is the tallest of the ugly kids. He is the first to greet Kyle when he joins them.

New and temporary members

Kyle Broflovski:

After the girls voted Kyle the ugliest of the boys in their fourth grade class, he was forced to sit with the other, already-deemed ugly children at lunchtime, and hang out with them at recess. When the girls' list was proven to be a fraud, and the real list revealed that Kyle was not the ugliest of the boys, he was overjoyed at not having to hang out with the ugly kids anymore.

Eric Cartman:

As Kyle, Stan, and Wendy burned the list so Kyle would never find out his true ranking, Wendy quickly glanced at the bottom of the list, and found that the ugliest boy was actually Cartman. To Cartman's dismay, he was then condemned to sit with the ugly kids, while others, notably Butters, mocked him for it.

Trivia

• Although Timmy and Jimmy have a high forehead or an askew face, like two of the ugly children, neither of them is considered to be ugly kids.
• The askew-faced kid looks like Trey Parker and the small-eyed kid looks like Matt Stone, the two creators of South Park.

References

1. Episode guide. South Park Studios. Retrieved on 2007-11-12.
2. Comedy Central press release
3. Deleted ending at South Park Studios South Park Studios. Retrieved on 2008-10-10.

Template:Episode navigation

• South Park episodes: Season 11
• Abraham Lincoln in fiction
• Television season finales