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Paraphilic infantilism is a paraphilia characterized by the uncontrollable desire to wear diapers, due to reasons other than medical necessity, and/or be treated as an infant or toddler. It is also characterized by the carrying out of these desires on a regular basis. Within the community of such diaper wearers, one who engages only in the erotic or sexual aspect of diaper wearing without experiencing any accompanying regression fantasies is known as a diaper lover (or DL). An adult who only engages in the infantilistic play aspect is known as an adult baby (or AB). An adult who may experience both of these things is referred to as an AB/DL. In 2004, an informal online survey of 80 adult diaper wearers showed that approximately 40% considered themselves strictly DL's, approximately 40% were mixed, and 20% considered themselves strictly AB's. The survey also indicated that there is a significant number of teenagers who engage in this practice. Findings of the American Psychiatric Association indicate that a majority of infantilists are heterosexual males.

DLs and ABs differ in self-image and the focus of attention. Neither includes a sexual preference for children. There is no singular, archetypical behavior for paraphilic infantilism, but a wide range of thought patterns and behaviors. Some fantasize about being free of guilt, responsibility, or control, whereas others might not. Some act indistinguishably from a baby at times, while others practice in a way that would probably not be noticed by passers by on the street. The desires and tastes of paraphilic infantilists vary around common themes of diapers and babyhood.

Differences between infantilism and a diaper fetishism

Although there is no typical AB/DL, the interests of AB/DLs tend to fall along a spectrum. This can be called the spectrum between infantilism and diaper fetishism or the spectrum between adult babies and diaper lovers. The mix of interests and fantasies might vary along this spectrum, depending on the individual.

On the adult baby side of the spectrum is an interest in roleplaying as a baby or small child, called infantilism. This may involve adult sized diapers and baby clothes, toys and furniture such as a crib to help embellish the fantasy. If a partner is willing, adult babies may engage in parent/baby roleplay. The adult baby may choose not to engage in sex while engaged in a baby role, since it isn't babylike. Adult babies tend to fantasize themselves as adorable, sexually innocent, and powerless.

On the diaper lover side of the spectrum is an urge toward wearing diapers for sensations of comfort or sexual stimulation. Diaper lovers commonly focus on diapers as fetish items, or sexually charged objects, and might involve orgasm and ejaculation. Diaper lovers typically do not imagine themselves as babies. Rather, they more often see themselves as adults who are drawn to wearing diapers.

In practice, the distinction between the two is much narrower; both involve diapers and adults. Diaper lovers may sometimes enjoy engaging in infantilism while adult babies may find themselves sometimes wearing diapers purely for physical pleasure. It is common for adult babies and diaper lovers to describe themselves as 'mostly AB' or 'mostly DL,' based on which end of the spectrum they engage in more frequently. Those with urophilia and coprophilia may enjoy similar practices.

In summary, most AB/DLs fall somewhere on the spectrum between adult baby and diaper lover. Adult babies might have paraphilic infantilism, their interests are self-image or alter-ego focused, and might refrain from sexual activities during adult baby play. In contrast, diaper lovers might have a diaper fetish, their interests are directed at a sexual fetish object, and don't inherently involve roleplay.

Other contrasts

Pedophilia

Confusing infantilism with pedophilia is a common misunderstanding. Pedophilia is a sexual preference for pre-pubescent children. In contrast, infantilists have a desire to be infants themselves, and those with a diaper fetish have a sexual interest in diapers. Generally, they have ordinary heterosexual or homosexual sexual experiences otherwise. Neither paraphilic infantilism nor diaper fetishism include a sexual interest towards children. Inside the AB/DL communities, a sharp distinction is observed.

Other infantilisms

'Paraphilic infantilism' is usually shortened to 'infantilism.' This can lead to some misunderstandings, since 'infantilism' can also mean 'lacking development.' Mental retardation involves never having achieved an average maturity, in contrast to adult babies, who actively set their maturity aside. In turn, psychosexual infantilism referred to those who haven't "matured" through Freud's psychosexual stages into heterosexuality. Similarly, Wilhelm Stekel used "psychosexual infantilism" as a category, similar to paraphilia, including paraphilic infantilism as well as other paraphilias and sexual orientations.

Practical or voluntary use

Those who wear diapers because of incontinence are probably not AB/DLs. While they may wear and use diapers, they aren’t necessarily doing it to express an alternate self-image or indulge a fetish. This also applies to those who use diapers for practical reasons, such as astronauts and scuba divers. Finally, there are some who start wearing diapers as a "new kink."

There are many that wear diapers but are not paraphilic infantilists or diaper fetishists in the strictest sense. Their motivations and underlying mechanisms are different. However, those who share AB/DL interests and practices are generally welcome in the communities, and may sometimes be counted as AB/DLs.

Anaclitism

Diaper fetishes are sometimes mentioned as an example of anaclitism, a desire for things one was exposed to in infancy. Anaclitism is a more general term in one way, as the objects don't necessarily have to be infantile, just things that one would have been exposed to during infancy. Conversely, a person who was not exposed as an infant to diapers, pacifiers, and so on may still choose to adopt these stereotypical symbols of infanthood during paraphilic sex play.

Sissy babies, cross-dressing

A sissy baby is a male AB/DL who mixes gender play with infantilism. This cross-dressing might involve stereotypical or exaggerated "little girl" clothing, such as panties or dresses. Sissies are not necessarily transsexual in that, while some might be expressing an alter ego that is a baby girl, they might not wish to be an adult woman at other times. Alternatively, some transgender people simply participate in ageplay as their gender identity as an extension of their transgender life.

Paraphilic infantilism in medicine

Most AB/DLs do not seek psychotherapy. As a result, many published cases are only tangentially related to infantilism and diaper fetishism and should not be confused with the basic paraphilias. In one published case of extrapolating from too small a sample size, a desire similar to paraphilic infantilism was described as most often occurring in women.

Future extrapolations might not be much more accurate. The American Psychiatric Association included significant distress or impairment for a period of over six months among the diagnostic criteria for paraphilic infantilism. This does not mean that all AB/DLs will suffer distress or impairment, but that those who don't will be excluded from the APA's study samples.

Causes

Unfortunately, to date there are no known broad-based scientific studies that have yet been made of the most probable causes, incidence and general impact of paraphilic infantilism on society at large. This may be due to both the relative rarity of the condition, and also to the fact that few paraphilic infantilists appear to seek professional mental health counseling, and that even fewer appear to require any type of pro-active mental health intervention in dealing with their condition.

Lovemap theory

According to sexology researcher, John Money, normally by the age of 8, the human mind will have fully developed its lovemap, which will serve as a sort of a sexual template, on through to the end of one's adult life. This lovemap is "a developmental representation or template in the mind and in the brain depicting the idealized lover and the idealized program of sexual and erotic activity projected in imagery or actually engaged in..." Money equates all paraphilias with the formation of abnormal lovemaps during the preadolescent years. Such abnormal lovemaps can be formed by any number of contributing factors or stressors during this developmental period. In the case described by Dr. Pandita-Gunawardena above, he believed that the primary stressor was a certain 6-month-long coma that his patient experienced at the age of 6, and the resultant aftercare provided by the patient's mother. In a case reported by Gregory Lehne, Lehne postulated that his client's infantilistic lovemap may have been imprinted in his client's mind at the ages of 6 and 7. During this youthful period his patient reported having been disciplined by his mother in a certain clearly inappropriate manner which included being forced to publicly wear a diaper and a girl's dress throughout his neighborhood.

Sex ratio

There is a strong tendency for AB/DLs to be male. Estimates range from 10 to 20 males per female AB/DL.

Practices

Aside from the many things that AB/DLs would like to do, but cannot, there is an extensive list of practices that they might actually engage in. Some common elements and practices are listed here.

Diaper usage

A central practice to AB/DL is wearing a diaper. When wearing diapers, many AB/DLs like to urinate in them, and a smaller number defecate in them. Others do not because they find such practices disgusting, do not enjoy it, do not want to go through the cleanup afterward, or wouldn't be able to without being obvious. Some AB/DLs have difficulty wetting their diapers when they want to, as the result of overtrained bladders or paruresis. Some AB/DLs need to retrain to overcome this.

A common compromise between wanting to wear diapers and needing to go about daily life is to wear diapers under normal clothing. When adult babies do so, it is in their everyday mindset, as opposed to an infantile one. A few adult babies wear diapers all the time, and may seek to develop urinary incontinence. The level of enjoyment in wearing diapers all the time is mixed, and it may have lasting effects; some adult babies have found that the enjoyment diminishes rapidly when the need to wear diapers is always present. Other AB/DLs enjoy wearing diapers intermittently more than they would enjoy wearing them all the time.

Ageplay

The need for an adult figure in the life of an AB is fantasized greatly - like a "mommy" or "daddy". Ageplay is a form of roleplay enjoyed by many adults worldwide. It never involves biological children and is a roleplay for consenting adults only. In the roleplay there is a desire to be treated like and cared for like a "baby" would. The AB would prefer this to occur 24/7 in their life and sometimes wish to have a spouse who would take on this role/responsibility, but realistically, since there are adult functions and activities to be responsible for it's not possible.

There are varying activities included in this roleplay - i.e. being changed and dressed, being fed, rocked and bathed. Sometimes, if consented, could include disciplining. For further information about this, please refer to ageplay in other parts.

Paraphernalia

While the tastes and collections of individual ABs differ, some items that might be involved include diapers both disposable and cloth, onesies, blanket sleepers, cribs, playpens, plastic pants, rubber pants, high chairs, baby bottles, bibs, pacifiers, baby powder, baby lotion, baby diaper rash cream, dollies, and stuffed animals.

See also

• Ageplay
• Diaper fetishism/ Diaper lover
• Erotic lactation
• Infantilism
• Lovemap
• Paraphilia
• Sexual fetishism
• BDSM

References

1. ^ Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text-Revised. Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, pg 572-573.
2. ^ Pate J.E., Gabbard G.O. (2003). Adult baby syndrome Am J Psychiatry 160:1932–1936, also available as a PDF
3. Watson, J. (2005, June 9). Baby Man, Phoenix New Times
4. ^ Tistan Taormino, Still in Diapers Retrieved 8 May 2007 from http://www.villagevoice.com/people/0233,taormino,37378,24.html
5. Dave's Diaper Survey (Informal online survey, 2004)
6. Thomas John Speaker, Psychosexual Infantilism in Adults: The Eroticization of Regression. Columbia Pacific University. pg 93. Available from: DPF, Sausalito, CA 94965
7. ^ Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text Revision, 2000 Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, pp 568
8. ^ Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text-Revised. Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, pg 569-570.
9. Baumeister, Roy F. (1989). Masochism and Self, Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. pg 159. ISBN 0-8058-0486-2.
10. Stekel, W. (1952). Patterns of Psychosexual Infantilism. Washington Square Press., pg 143, ISBN 0-87140-840-6
11. Arndt, William B., Jr. (1991). Gender Disorders and the Paraphilias, International Universities Press, pg 394, ISBN 0-8236-2150-2.
12. International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems, tenth edition, Sect. F65.4
13. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition-Text Revised, Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, Pg. 571-572
14. ^ Stekel, W. (1952). Patterns of Psychosexual Infantilism. Washington Square Press., pg 144, ISBN 0-87140-840-6
15. Stekel, W. (1952). Patterns of Psychosexual Infantilism. Washington Square Press., pg vii, ISBN 0-87140-840-6
16. Pandita-Gunawardena, R. (1990). Paraphilic Infantilism, A Rare Case of Fetishistic Behaviour. British Journal of Psychiatry. 157, 767-770
17. Mitchell, W. (1954) Epilepsy with Fetishism Relieved by Temporal Lobectomy. Lancet. Vol. II, pp. 626-630
18. Croarkin, P., Nam, T., Waldrep, D. (November 2004). Comment on Adult Baby Syndrome. Am J Psychiatry 161:2141
19. Lehne, G. K., Money, J., (2000) The First Case of Paraphilia Treated with Depo-Provera: 40-Year Outcome., Journal of Sex Education and Therapy, Vol. 25, No. 4, pgs 213-220
20. Allen, C. (1969) A Textbook of Psychosexual Disorders. Oxford Medical Publications, pg 290, ISBN 0-19-264414-9
21. Pandita-Gunawardena, Ranjani (1990). Paraphilic Infantilism, a Rare Case of Fetishistic Behaviour, vol. 157, p.767-770. British Journal of Psychiatry, London.
22. Money, John (1986). Love Maps - Clinical Concepts of Sexual/Erotic Health and Pathology, Paraphilia, and Gender Transpostition in Childhood, Adolescence, and Maturity. New York: Prometheus Books. ISBN 0-8290-1589-2.
23. Money, John (1986). Love Maps - Clinical Concepts of Sexual/Erotic Health and Pathology, Paraphilia, and Gender Transpostition in Childhood, Adolescence, and Maturity, p. 34, Promethius Books, New York, ISBN 0-8290-1589-2.
24. Saleh, Fabian et. all. (2009). Sex Offenders: Identification, Risk Assessment, Treatment, and Legal Issues, p. 18, Oxford University Press, USA, ISBN 0-19-517704-5.
25. Thomas John Speaker, Psychosexual Infantilism in Adults: The Eroticization of Regression. Columbia Pacific University. pg 81. Available from: DPF, Sausalito, CA 94965
26. http://understanding.infantilism.org/twentyfour_seven.php

Further reading

• Friday, Nancy (1980). Men in Love: Men's Sexual Fantasies, Delacorate Press. ISBN 0-385-33342-0.
• Love, Brenda (1992). Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices, Barricade Books. ISBN 0-942637-64-X.
• Brame, Gloria G., Brame, William D., & Jacobs, Jon (1993). Different Loving: An Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission Villard Books ISBN 0-679-40873-8
• Harrington, Lee "Bridgett" (2008) The ToyBag Guide to Age Play Greenery Press ISBN 1-809159-73-5
• Rubel, Dr. Bob, Editor. (2008) Power Exchange Books' Resource Series: Age Play The Nazca Plains Corporation ISBN 978-1-934625-90-3

External links

• Understanding Infantilism
• Adult Baby Diaper Lover support community

• Paraphilias
• Sexual fetishism
• Sexuality and age