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Colonel H. Stinkmeaner is a fictional character from the Adult Swim animated television series The Boondocks, voiced by Cedric Yarbrough. The character is a recurring antagonist in the series, and is portrayed as a foulmouthed, blind old man who enjoys spreading hatred, ignorance, and chaos throughout the world.

Appearance

Stinkmeaner is a blind, elderly black man with a paunchy, apparently-frail frame topped with unkempt gray hair. He normally wears a green-and-white cardigan, pinstriped gray trousers, a loose bow-tie, checkered shirt, and scuffed black shoes for the majority of the series; while in Hell, Stinkmeaner dresses in traditional karate gi. Constantly equipped with a scowl, he "always was and always would be a cantankerous ornery old man." He spent his childhood disagreeing on whatever he could, including happiness, unity, and kindness. He was stricken blind at age fifteen due to cancer and was expected to die three years later; For this reason, Stinkmeaner dedicated the remaining years of his life to making everyone else's life miserable. Doctors were at a loss as to how he managed to live so long, but it is believed that his "love of hatred" to everything and most people is what has sustained him into old age.

Personality

Colonel H. Stinkmeaner (in more recent episodes and promos) usually addresses and/or introduces himself by saying "I'm Colonel H.-Mothafuckin'-Stinkmeaner; holla at 'cha boy. I gets money!". Stinkmeaner is known for his foul attitude, Ebonics-ridden insults, mostly with the word "nigga" or "bitch" (he actually pronounces it "Nee-Uh-Guh" and "Nyu-kuh") and constantly spitting, misanthropy, and hatred for all people of all races and things that are meant to bring joy. He also believes that anyone who is possibly killed by him will receive the closest thing to an honorable death as most of them will probably get, and in that respect he considers himself a "humanitarian". He is the series' prime instigator of "nigga moments," times where "ignorance overwhelms the mind of a perfectly logical negro male, causing him to act in an illogical self-destructive manner." According to the series, these situations are the #3 reason why black men are killed (Number #2 is porkchops and #1 is the Federal Emergency Management Agency.

Stinkmeaner's catchphrase can be heard sometimes which is "bitchy - ass nigga, or what the fuck you gonna do , what the fuck you gonna do nigga?!"

Stinkmeaner's death in the series occurred in season one, and was the result of a confrontation with Robert "Granddad" Freeman. After Huey's mistaking the old man's mannerisms for genuine fighting skill (and subsequently overtraining Robert), Robert ended up accidentally beating Stinkmeaner to death for what he did to his car, new shoes, and knee, shown in the episode "Granddad's Fight".

In the second season episode "Stinkmeaner Strikes Back", the character is bent on getting revenge on the Freeman family. While in Hell, Satan describes him as "the baddest motherfucker Hell had ever seen," and Stinkmeaner even calls Satan a "Bitch-ass nigga!." Since his death, Stinkmeaner has trained under the devil's wing in martial arts and Three section staff (calling them "three stick numchucks"), commenting "Y'all gonna have to kick me out of this bitch, I'm having the time of my life!" He proves to be even more psychotic when he possesses Tom Dubois and tries to kill Granddad with an axe. He also fights the Freeman children, commenting that they're "not too little to get dat ass whooped." Stinkmeaner is heard singing the chorus "Ave Maria" from Ellens dritter Gesang by Franz Schubert at random times.

Series appearances

In the episode Granddad's Fight, Stinkmeaner first appears in the series when he slams his car repeatedly into the Freeman car, known as "Dorothy", believing the handicapped space is always free (the dented sign post shows that he always roughly parks there, further alluding to it in the episode "Stinkmeaner Strikes Back"). This instigates a "nigga moment" when he blames Granddad for being in the space in the first place and proceeds to stomp on his brand new white Nike tennis shoes. When Granddad tries to throw a punch, he taps Stinkmeaner's cane with his foot, giving away his position, and allowing Stinkmeaner to move just in time to avoid the punch. When Granddad hits the ground, the blind man strikes him on his bad knee, and the fight somehow makes national and international headlines. Granddad challenges him to a rematch, and Huey, mistakenly believing that Stinkmeaner has heightened senses and skills as a result of his blindness, helps him train for two weeks (he even dreams sword-fighting Stinkmeaner as the Blind Nigga Samurai). During the fight, Stinkmeaner swings around his cane wildly shouting expletives while Granddad lands blow after blow with the final one killing the blind man when he hits his head on the concrete. By this time, Huey has realized that Stinkmeaner was nothing more than a "blind old man who had just gotten lucky" in their first encounter, but his realization comes too late. Humorously, Huey has a voice-over right before the final punch hits, where he says; "Ya know, we could all be reading a book right now." Then Grandad's fist hits Stinkmeaner's face in a bloody display of broken eye-glasses and knocked out teeth. A nurse then walks over to Stinkmeaner to check his pulse, and crosses her throat to indicate he is dead. In Stinkmeaner Strikes Back, Stinkmeaner is resurrected when Satan believes that he is the best candidate to "spread ignorance and chaos in the black community" and to get revenge on the Freeman family. He possesses Tom Dubois when the prosecutor is in a nigga moment, and slowly gains full control over him. After having relations with Tom's wife Sarah, he breaks into the Freeman house and tries to kill Robert. After Robert fled downstairs, the Freemans fought him, but he knocked down every single opponent until Robert knocked him down with his belt, followed by Riley throwing him the lamp, the vase, and the AKB48 statue, then held down (in Riley's bed, to his disgust). His constant shouting ruins Granddad's blind date. The freemans are unable to reach the church, so the Freemans summon Uncle Ruckus to exorcise Stinkmeaner's spirit from Tom's body. Ruckus's techniques of forcing Stinkmeaner to read and beating him with whips and nightsticks (all things that frighten black men according to Ruckus) have little to no effect, but the ghost of Ghostface Killah (who is not really dead in the series or real life) cryptically reveals to Huey that the only sure way to end a "nigga moment" is with peace. Stimulating a friendly conversation between Ruckus and Stinkmeaner by comparing their mutual hatred of black people, the blind man's spirit is forced out of Tom's body but swears to return to eventually get his revenge.

Stinkmeaner narrates the episode Stinkmeaner 3: The Hateocracy, in which his crew, the "Hateocracy", re-unites to ostensibly exact revenge on Robert Freeman for killing Stinkmeaner. Two of the three, Lady Esmerelda Gripenasty and Mr. George Pistofferson, ended up beating Huey and Riley until the bell rang in school, while the other, Lord Rufus Crabmiser, faced off against Robert, who managed to evade being decapitated by Crabmiser's flying guillotine. Huey decided to call Bushido Brown who is very protective about his name. Huey asked "is this Mr. Bushido Brown?" He replied "See, na you dun already messed up! That's Grandmaster Bushido Brown!" Robert hires him to protect them from danger, but he goes too far. He ends up kicking a lady in the face making her fly back.(Because she bumped her cart into roberts in a market.) But when Robert fires him he opens the door to leave and the hateocracy stood in his yard. Robert rehires him for double the fee. He fought well against them but Crabmiser got his guillotine stuck in a tree. Bushido ran up to him to attack, but he pulled the flying guillotine from the tree decapitating Bushido. Robert makes a quick speech about Stinkmeaner and how he was sorry, however, it is revealed that they actually didn't care about him at all, and only wanted a convenient target to annoy. When his crew is thrown in jail by the police, who remark that jail is the only thing that can stop a "nigga moment" for good, Stinkmeaner adds that he is glad to be in Hell rather than jail.

While Stinkmeaner seemed to be ungainly and physically slow in "Granddad's Fight," he is shown to have superhuman speed and reflexes and remarkable strength (like the other members of the Hateocracy) in The Hateocracy flashback. This may, of course, be an embellishment since Stinkmeaner himself was recounting the flashback.

References

1. The Boondocks Season Two DVD.

• Fictional African-American people
• Fictional martial artists
• Fictional blind characters
• Fictional ghosts
• Fictional demons
• Fictional gangsters
• The Boondocks characters
• Television supervillains