Talk:Military camouflage: Difference between revisions

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Revision as of 20:23, 19 January 2013 editDexDor (talk \| contribs)Autopatrolled, Extended confirmed users64,011 edits →Some comments: space out my cmt← Previous edit		Revision as of 20:39, 19 January 2013 edit undoChiswick Chap (talk \| contribs)Autopatrolled, Extended confirmed users, Page movers, New page reviewers, Pending changes reviewers, Rollbackers296,152 edits →Some comments: thanks, done 3, more will follow...Next edit →
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	1. The 1st 2 sentences of the lead don't clearly define the subject - is it just visual or does it include radar, IR etc ? The lead sentence should have a link to ]. Maybe something more like "'''Military camouflage''' is the use of ] by a ] to conceal personnel and equipment from visual observation by enemy forces..."		1. The 1st 2 sentences of the lead don't clearly define the subject - is it just visual or does it include radar, IR etc ? The lead sentence should have a link to ]. Maybe something more like "'''Military camouflage''' is the use of ] by a ] to conceal personnel and equipment from visual observation by enemy forces..."

	2. Would a lead pic with some background be better (e.g. File:Arw4.jpg) ?		2. <s>Would a lead pic with some background be better (e.g. File:Arw4.jpg) ?</s> Good idea, done.

	3. I think the lead is still a bit too long (for the size of the article). For example the "previously known as" bit, which is specific to (British?) English probably shouldn't be in the lead (especially if it's not elsewhere in the article) - maybe a separate Etymology section.		3. I think the lead is still a bit too long (for the size of the article). For example the "previously known as" bit, which is specific to (British?) English probably shouldn't be in the lead (especially if it's not elsewhere in the article) - maybe a separate Etymology section.

	4. "camouflage" is in italics which means I'd expect it to be linked to an article about the word ''camouflage'' (e.g. on wiktionary).		4. <s>"camouflage" is in italics which means I'd expect it to be linked to an article about the word ''camouflage'' (e.g. on wiktionary).</s> Yes, done.

	5. "military camouflage was first practised in the mid 18th century" ... "Camouflage was developed for military use ... in 1915" is contradictory.		5. <s>"military camouflage was first practised in the mid 18th century" ... "Camouflage was developed for military use ... in 1915" is contradictory.</s> Thanks, clarified first baby steps, extensive development. ] (]) 20:39, 19 January 2013 (UTC)

	] (]) 20:21, 19 January 2013 (UTC)		] (]) 20:21, 19 January 2013 (UTC)

Revision as of 20:39, 19 January 2013

Military camouflage is currently a War and military good article nominee. Nominated by Chiswick Chap (talk) at 15:59, 7 January 2013 (UTC)

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A summary of this article appears in camouflage.

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Some comments

Some suggestions/proposals for the lead:

1. The 1st 2 sentences of the lead don't clearly define the subject - is it just visual or does it include radar, IR etc ? The lead sentence should have a link to Camouflage. Maybe something more like "Military camouflage is the use of camouflage by a military force to conceal personnel and equipment from visual observation by enemy forces..."

2. ~~Would a lead pic with some background be better (e.g. File:Arw4.jpg) ?~~ Good idea, done.

3. I think the lead is still a bit too long (for the size of the article). For example the "previously known as" bit, which is specific to (British?) English probably shouldn't be in the lead (especially if it's not elsewhere in the article) - maybe a separate Etymology section.

4. ~~"camouflage" is in italics which means I'd expect it to be linked to an article about the word camouflage (e.g. on wiktionary).~~ Yes, done.

5. ~~"military camouflage was first practised in the mid 18th century" ... "Camouflage was developed for military use ... in 1915" is contradictory.~~ Thanks, clarified first baby steps, extensive development. Chiswick Chap (talk) 20:39, 19 January 2013 (UTC)

DexDor (talk) 20:21, 19 January 2013 (UTC)

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