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| {{Infobox person | |||
| | honorific_prefix = Legendary | |||
| | name = Zachary Jackson Baker | |||
| | honorific_suffix = The Legend | |||
| | native_name = | |||
| | native_name_lang = | |||
| | image = Burgundy sc.jpg | |||
| | image_size = | |||
| | alt = | |||
| | caption = The only image obtained of his hair...ever. | |||
| | birth_name = | |||
| | birth_date = {{Birth date and age|1988|07|18}} | |||
| | birth_place = ], ], ] | |||
| | disappeared_date = | |||
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| | resting_place = | |||
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| | monuments = | |||
| | residence = Germany | |||
| | nationality = 'Merican | |||
| | other_names = Z-Bizzle; ZJ; Z. Jackson Baker; LTZ; The Hair | |||
| | ethnicity = 'Merican | |||
| | citizenship = 'Merican | |||
| | education = | |||
| | alma_mater = | |||
| | occupation = Legendary Hair Model | |||
| | years_active = | |||
| | employer = The Camera | |||
| | organization = | |||
| | agent = | |||
| | known_for = Legendary Hair | |||
| | notable_works = Blue Steel; Magnum | |||
| | style = | |||
| | influences = Ron Burgundy | |||
| | influenced = Patrick Yates | |||
| | home_town = Kansas | |||
| | salary = A Lot | |||
| | net_worth = Billions | |||
| | height = 5'8" | |||
| | weight = 165lbs | |||
| | television = Zoolander; Anchorman | |||
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| | callsign = Griffin 2 Hair | |||
| | awards = Amazing Hair Commendation Medal; Key to the World for Amazing Hair | |||
| | signature = | |||
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| }} | |||
| '''Z-Bizzle, (born '''Zachary Jackson Baker''' ; July 18, 1988) is the ] and lead endorsement procurement officer for his team. | |||
| ==Biography== | |||
| Early in life, Zachary was found in the Mediterranean sea near Marseille by an Italian fishermen, floating unconscious with two gunshot wounds in his back, he woke up and discovered he was suffering from extreme memory loss. As he tried to reclaim his memory, he attracted the attention of hostile people for reasons unknown to him. At a hotel, while cornered, Baker took a young woman hostage to escape. This woman, name unknown, is an employee of a foreign government. Bizzle and his hostage started discovering the identity of Baker, the contract assassin. It is later discovered that both the CIA and a contract killer known as B.Carlos the Analyst have an interest in him. His hostage is convinced that the man she knows as Zachary Baker cannot be the ruthless killer that all the discoveries had seemed to imply. She feels that Z-Bizzle should continue to search for his true identity and, in the end, find the truth. Through this time, Baker continually has the phrase "Cain is for Sugar, and Sugar is for Cain" flash through his mind, propelling him in the direction of his mission. | |||
| After finding his true identity, Zachary Baker started his career off as a model a little less successful than his current status as legendary. He began in 2009 with several failed attempts at modelling jeans for Ralph Lauren, hand modelling for Linda Rose hand models, and taking a break from modelling, had a short semi-successful run playing professional ultimate frisbee. | |||
| ] | |||
| Despite playing the frisbee right handed, Z-Bizzle recalls the first frisbee he learned to throw on was actually left-handed. His parents had bought him a frisbee for his thirteenth birthday. He learned by playing outside by himself after watching his favorite professional frisbee games on TV. His favorite player is Petri Isola and Zachary would practice every chance he could to be as good as him. He would also read every edition of USA Ultimate, a frisbee magazine, cover to cover, learning the ins and outs of the game. | |||
| In 2013, tragedy struck, as ZJ attempted to spread his legendary hair glory onto the softball field. Injured he tried to maintain at least a .100 batting average and avoid making an error everytime the ball came in his direction. Unfortunately this did not happen as he would often say, "the sun was in my eyes" as he swung and missed the ball or hit a routine pop up to the pitcher. In the field, with the sun to his back, the softball was simply too big for his glove. Too often the ball would be hit to him and mid-play, Z-Bizzle would pull out a hair comb from his pocket and begin to fix his hair while the base runners rounded the bags, leaving the rest of the team to scramble to make the plays, but damn his hair looked good. | |||
| Today, LTZ simply wakes up, takes his modest 4 hours to fix his hair, goes in public so people can see his hair, then goes home. He is admired all over for his hair and people travel from all over simply to lay eyes on it. It truely is legendary. It could possibly hold the cure for cancer, world hunger, world peace, and the secret to defeating Chuck Norris. | |||
Revision as of 11:21, 21 June 2013
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