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Infobox and lead

• Infobox lists Perry's genres as pop, rock, and electronic. Musical style and themes only notes "elements of" these genres. There is a difference between elements/influences and an artist/work actually being a certain genre. Perry is not known as a rock or electronic artist and I'd like to see sources that say otherwise if these stay.

• While she is most often described as a pop singer, One of the Boys is mainly a pop rock album. Also, NME called her a "a ballsy rock chick" while The Daily Telegraph talks about her "rock chick voice". I'll give "electronic" more thought, though..... Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Pop rock ≠ rock. And the Telegraph quote refers to her voice, not her actual music. –Chase (talk / contribs) 06:16, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• True, but I think the NME link can support the "rock" she's done in past works for infobox inclusion. I'll remove "electronic" from infobox. Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• I would consider trimming the third paragraph and moving most of its first half to the Achievements section. It leans towards too much detail for an introduction.

• In that case, I'm not sure which bits should be in both lead and "achievements" SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• I think you should remove the 5x Platinum singles, 2012 Woman of the Year, and 69 consecutive weeks in the top ten from the lead. And possibly combine the awards/nominations and Forbes into one sentence. –Chase (talk / contribs) 06:16, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Take a look now Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

Early life and career beginnings

• "She has a younger brother named David, who is a singer, and an older sister Angela." I think there should be a comma after "sister", but I may be wrong.

• Let's see what others say Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• I would add a comma: a lack of one implies that she has more than one older sister. I also think it reads better with one. Acalamari 12:37, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Added Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

This section relies too heavily on partial quotes and reads very awkwardly. Consider these changes:

• "Perry described her parents as 'uniquely strict'" → "Perry described her parents as strict" (no quotes)

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "focus on most 'secular music' was discouraged in the family's home" → "focus on most secular music was discouraged in the family's home". Quote is not necessary.

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "Perry began singing while 'copycatting' Angela" → "Perry began singing while imitating Angela". The sentence still reads a little awkwardly, actually. Maybe something like "Perry, her sister, began singing"?

• Take a look now. Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "During her teenage years, Perry said she 'tried to be like the typical California girl', trying out surfing and getting deeply involved in the local rollerskating scene." I would rewrite this whole sentence - something more along the lines of, "During her teenage years, Perry became involved in surfing and rollerskating in an attempt to be 'the typical California girl'."

• Done SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "David described her as 'kind of a tomboy' during that period." → "David described her as tomboy-like during that period."

• Changed to "a tomboy during her adolescence" Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Changes here are much better. I missed these the first go-around, also take a look at:

• "Perry stated that she found it "tough" as a child to frequently switch between schools" → "Perry found it difficult as a child to frequently change schools"

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "Her family 'barely got by' financially" → "Her family struggled financially"

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "she sometimes felt "out of place" during the early part of her childhood." Just drop the quote, or change "out of place" to something like "alienated". –Chase (talk / contribs) 06:16, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Replaced with "alienated" Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

Katy Hudson and The Matrix

• Remove "career beginnings" from the title of the last section and change this section title to "Career beginnings". Katy Hudson is not a well-known album and her project with The Matrix is little-known and insignificant to her career. And this section mostly describes Perry's activity before her commercial breakthrough.

• Done..... hesitantly..... while not as well-known as her later material, I will say that Katy Hudson is certainly more widely known than The Matrix. I included these as Katy Hudson was a critical part of her early career, and included "career beginnings" in the previous section as she began performing publicly after getting a guitar for her 13th birthday. Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "Perry completed her General Educational Development" → "Perry completed her GED" (acronym is more well-known than the full name).

• The peer review previously advised against that, so I'll give this some thought. Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• I would at the very least put "GED" in parentheses following "General Educational Development". –Chase (talk / contribs) 06:16, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• I would just point out that the acronym is only more well-known if you were educated in the United States. Ritchie333 20:51, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• And Katy Perry has a large fanbase in the US who will be reading this article, so I don't see the problem with listing "GED" in parentheses after "General Educational Development". –Chase (talk / contribs) 23:48, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Added GED in parentheses Snuggums (talk / edits) 00:26, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• "In 2003, she briefly performed as Katheryn Perry to avoid confusion with actress Kate Hudson" I've read before that she chose this name because it was her mother's maiden name; would be good to include, even if her mother's name is already listed in the section above.

• Indeed that was part of the reason. However, I'm not sure if they way it's included now reads well. Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Looks good, just remove "after" –Chase (talk / contribs) 06:16, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "played the love interest of her then-boyfriend Gym Class Heroes lead singer Travie McCoy" → "played the love interest of her then-boyfriend, Gym Class Heroes lead singer Travie McCoy"

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

One of the Boys

• Again, section title. I think it would be more helpful to describe what happened in her life during this time in her life instead of just reducing it to an album title. Especially for readers who aren't familiar with Perry's work. "Commercial breakthrough" would be good. I won't list this multiple times, but consider doing this with the Teenage Dream and Prism sections as well - especially the former, where it might be useful to note her marriage to Russell Brand.

• Restored the previous title of "Breakthrough with One of the Boys"- some editor had previously removed it. I'll include "marriage" for Teenage Dream, but am not sure what to say for Prism section. Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Looks good. Prism is fine; the album hasn't been out for long and she hasn't done much else in the time period. –Chase (talk / contribs) 06:16, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "JohnJay & Rich radio show" should this be italicized?

• Since television shows are italicized, I have a feeling radio shows should be as well. Someone correct me if I'm wrong. Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Most of the articles in Category:American music radio programs italicize the titles so this actually appears to be correct. –Chase (talk / contribs) 23:48, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "One of the Boys, released on June 17, 2008, garnered mixed critical reviews and reached number nine on the US Billboard 200. The album reached number nine on the Billboard 200."

• Not sure what you're trying to say here :/..... Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "The album reached number nine..." is repeated. –Chase (talk / contribs) 06:16, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Derp, now fixed Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "and topping charts in Germany and Canada, among other countries." might be good to specify which countries, but regardless, citations are needed to verify other #1 peaks.

• Here is the source for Germany charts, and this is the one for Canada Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• I meant that you needed sources to verify the #1 peaks in the "other countries" mentioned. –Chase (talk / contribs) 06:16, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• The Canadian chartings can be found in the second page of the URL I linked, gonna search for a different Germany ref if needed Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• The other countries besides Canada and Germany. The article says it reached #1 in Canada and Germany, "among other countries". That part needs citation and it would probably be even better to actually name those countries, or rewrite this whole sentence to say something like "it reached #1 in X countries" (with refs for every country it topped the charts in). –Chase (talk / contribs) 23:48, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Added the Netherlands and Austria Snuggums (talk / edits) 00:26, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• "Later singles 'Thinking of You' and 'Waking Up in Vegas' achieved moderate success." source only shows their peaks on the US charts, doesn't include an assessment of their performances.

• Changed to "reached the top thirty of the Hot 100" Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Also, refs for Billboard chart histories such as the last two bullet points should include the specific chart linked to as well. ie: "Katy Perry – Chart history: The Hot 100".

• I included her Hot 100 history in refs. SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• In the actual ref, the name of the chart should be included in the "title" parameter. like I said, "Chart history: The Hot 100", "Chart history: Billboard 200", etc. –Chase (talk / contribs) 06:16, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "She requested to hold the release until the fourth single of One of the Boys had been commissioned, but The Matrix was released onto iTunes on January 27, 2009, despite her wishes." I would replace the bolded text with "prior to the release of fourth single 'Waking Up in Vegas'" - the "against her wishes" part isn't in the source and doesn't seem "neutral" (for lack of a proper description - it just feels "off"). and move the citation to before this change, since the release date of "Vegas" isn't discussed in the source either.

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

Teenage Dream

• "69 consecutive weeks in the Top 10 of the Hot 100" → "69 consecutive weeks in the top ten of the Hot 100"

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "In December, Perry played Moe Szyslak's girlfriend" I would include 2010 after December, even though a September 2010 incident was mentioned at the end of the preceding paragraph, since the paragraphs in this section jump around to and from various years in the 2010-12 time range.

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "playing a woman known as 'Honey'." quotes aren't necessary.

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "featuring herself and Andy Samberg" → "featuring her and Andy Samberg" (?)

• If it's any better, I changed to "starring herself" Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• I'm still not sure if that's correct. –Chase (talk / contribs) 06:16, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• We might have to let someone else make a suggestion if "starring her" or "featuring her" do not work well Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "Starring herself" sounded better actually, in my opinion. I'm not 100% sure which would be more correct grammatically. S△M 00:52, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

Prism

• "The fourth single from the album was 'Birthday' followed by 'This Is How We Do'" → "the fourth and fifth singles from the album were 'Birthday' and 'This Is How We Do', respectively."

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "On November 30, 2012, Billboard dubbed Perry as their 'Woman of the Year'." and "Forbes ranked her #5 on their 'Top-Earning Women In Music' list for 2012" Why are these in 2013-present?

• Not sure, but I've moved it to Teenage Dream section Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• November 2012's Billboard "Woman of the Year" is still in Prism. –Chase (talk / contribs) 06:16, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Oops, forgot that part Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Does "Top-Earning Women In Music" actually need the quotations? They aren't usually used for compiled lists, such as the Forbes Celebrity 100, for example. S△M 00:52, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

Influences

• "She cites the band's front man, Freddie Mercury, as her 'biggest influence'" Quote isn't necessary, not unique or notable language. And I believe "frontman" is one word.

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "the Beatles' album" → "The Beatles' album"

• Not done consensus determined at Misplaced Pages talk:Requests for mediation/The Beatles and Misplaced Pages:Requests for mediation/The Beatles was to use "the" in lower cases mid-sentence. Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "ABBA and the Cardigans" → "ABBA and The Cardigans"

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

If the Beatles are written as "the Beatles" shouldn't the Cardigans be formatted in the same way? It just looks odd to write "the Beatles" and then use the capital T on "the" for the Cardigans. S△M 19:53, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

I agree - use "the" for consistency - I know this has been edit warred over to death elsewhere, but consensus seems to be finally settling on this. Ritchie333 20:53, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

Lower cases it is. Snuggums (talk / edits) 23:43, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

Musical style and themes

• Link singer-songwriter?

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "Her use of idioms and metaphors in her lyrics has been criticized – with Randall Roberts..." → "Her use of idioms and metaphors in her lyrics has been criticized by Randall Roberts..." (no other critics are cited)

• Reworded Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Better. –Chase (talk / contribs) 06:16, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

Politics

• "While not identifying strictly with religion, she has also stated, 'I pray all the time – for self-control, for humility.'" SNUGGUMS, I know that we had disagreements on where this should be included not long ago, but I still don't think this is it. Feels very out of place in this section as it doesn't have anything to do with her political work and religion ≠ politics.

• Hmm..... the interesting thing is that political matters often include aspects of religion (i.e. a politician's campaigns). If need be, I could remove the "While not identifying strictly with religion" bit. Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• You would have a point if Perry cited religion as the basis for any of her political views. I still personally think it fits best in the "early life" section as her early faith is discussed there. It can be added as a parenthetical and still work, I think. –Chase (talk / contribs) 06:16, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Not sure what you mean by "parenthetical" in this instance, but I could use something like "Perry later stated that she continues to pray 'for self-control, for humility'". SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• By parenthetical, I mean add it to the "early life" section and put the statement in (parentheses). Also, the way it's now worded goes against the RfC here where it was decided to include the fact that Perry no longer identifies as Christian. –Chase (talk / contribs) 23:48, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Moved info to "early life" section Snuggums (talk / edits) 00:26, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• Perry's quote: "the fact that America doesn't have free health care drives me fucking absolutely crazy, and is so wrong." → "the fact that America doesn't have free health care drives me ... absolutely crazy, and is so wrong." (per WP:PROFANE, and in line with MOS:ELLIPSIS)

• Not done per WP:NOTCENSORED SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "Not censored" does not give special favor to offensive content. The word adds no context to the quote and can be very easily done without. "Offensive material should be used only if its omission would cause the article to be less informative, relevant, or accurate, and no equally suitable alternative is available." –Chase (talk / contribs) 06:16, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "Fuck" isn't the most offensive word ever, but I could also paraphrase this to something like "Perry has also criticized America's lack of free health care, and stated that it drove her 'absolutely crazy'". Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Do that. –Chase (talk / contribs) 23:48, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Would be interesting to note that Perry directly called out Tony Abbott when he called into a radio interview of hers, per the source that discusses her criticism of him.

• I included a quote from her Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Great, but the period should be inside the quote since it's a full sentence. –Chase (talk / contribs) 06:16, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

Achievements

• "She has earned eleven Grammy nominations, two American Music Awards, four MTV Video Music Awards, fourteen People's Choice Awards, and two Guinness World Records." odd to list Grammy nominations in the same sentence (especially before) awards that she has actually won. I'd either nix the Grammy note or move it to another sentence.

• Moved Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Better, but just change "Grammy nominations" to "Grammy Awards" since it currently reads "nominated for ... nominations". –Chase (talk / contribs) 06:16, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Some of this overlaps with the Life and career sub-sections; I would move all but the most significant material out of the earlier sections and keep it here.

• And which bits would those be? Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• I thought there was more overlap. Maybe some of it was edited out while/after I left my initial comments or maybe I imagined it. Anyway, the "69 consecutive weeks" thing repeats three times between the lead, Teenage Dream section, and achievements. I already suggested you remove it from the lead, but it should be removed from one of the others. Your choice. Keeping it in the Teenage Dream section is fine since it's relevant to that album, but I'm not opposed to it being in Achievements either, since it's a feat that only she has accomplished which is notable. –Chase (talk / contribs) 06:16, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "She trails behind only Rihanna and Taylor Swift." drop "behind"

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "As of May 2014, she holds the record for most 5× Platinum certified singles in the United States. Her songs ... have each sold over 5 million digital copies." source only mentions the sales of these songs, not certifications.

• Adjusted Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:02, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Better. –Chase (talk / contribs) 06:16, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• One external link changes scheme and has a truncated URL.

• Trimmed URL Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Is it really necessary to include the "near" in the birthplace parameter in the infobox? You mention the "near" in the first section of the article, so I don't find it particularly needed in the infobox.

• I thought it could be useful since she is commonly said to be born there while in reality her birth hospital was just outside of Santa Barbara. Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• In the introduction, can you mention that Billboard is for United States charts at its first mention?

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• "Billboard dubbed her 2012's Woman of the Year. She has been listed in the Forbes "Top-Earning Women In Music" for 2011, 2012, and 2013." For better blow, I'd suggest merging the sentences like "She was dubbed Billboard's Woman of the Year in 2012, and has been listed in the Forbes "Top-Earning Women In Music" for 2011, 2012, and 2013."

• Trimmed Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• It might be helpful to state the specific years she was married to Russell Brand in the introduction, or even "the early 2010s" if you want to keep it brief.

• went with "the early 2010s" Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Based on the content about Katy pursuing a music career beginning in 1999, wouldn't that make her "years active" parameter 1999–present instead of 1997–present?

• I used 1997 as she told GQ that she started playing her guitar in public to earn money at age 13. I guess this is simply a question of what 1997–1999 counts for Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• I see some instances of inconsistencies regarding the use of "US" and "U.S.", please pick one style to use throughout the article.

• Should be good now Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Perhaps this is just me being silly, but wouldn't The Sims 3: Katy Perry's Sweet Treats technically be considered a stuff pack? Maybe you could wikilink "stuff pack" to the article for "expansion pack"?

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• I think the 2012 Woman of the Year information has been misplaced in the Prism section.

• As Chase previously mentioned, this was indeed misplaced. Now fixed. Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• Since she and John Mayer already broke up and won't be getting married, it is still necessary to address the engagement rumors?

• That bit was first added before they split due to high speculation that they were engaged, but I've now removed- the article at one point also included debunked rumors of being engaged to Travie McCoy shortly before their relationship ended, but I've given this thought and decided you're right Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

• It seems like a little bit of a stretch to include the The X Factor UK template at the end of the article since she was only a guest judge for a brief second?

• Removed Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

Definitely a well-written article, I will be happy to give my support when these comments have been addressed. I will check back in a short while! WikiRedactor (talk) 15:13, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

WikiRedactor look now. Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:30, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

Last batch

• "number-one Billboard songs" Shouldn't this state Billboard Hot 100?

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 15:12, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• "contract" → "record contract/deal"

• Went with "deal"

• "Forbes "Top-Earning Women In Music"" → Forbes list (...)

• Tweaked Snuggums (talk / edits) 15:12, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• "has also ventured" remove also

• done Snuggums (talk / edits) 15:12, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• "In July 2011, she (...) In July 2012, she" This is a bit repetitive

• I tried rewording this Snuggums (talk / edits) 15:12, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• "In July 2012, she released a 3D autobiographical documentary film, Katy Perry: Part of Me, which concentrated on her life as a touring artist and the dissolution of her brief marriage to English actor and comedian Russell Brand in the early 2010" is too long. Maybe 3D autobiographical could be removed (3D isn't needed, and autobiographical is already implied)

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 15:12, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• "Perry described her parents as strict, while Angela reminisced of their upbringing as "God's way or no way", resulting in household bans of popular products" This implies that they banned products due to their daughters' descriptions of them

• Tweaked Snuggums (talk / edits) 15:12, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

Intro

Finally got the time to review this article, so I'll jump straight to my concerns:

• Katy Perry is originally from Santa Barbara, California.–does "originally" has a specific meaning in this sentence?

• It was used to indicate she grew up in Santa Barbara, but I could remove if unneeded Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

You might remove it.--Retrohead (talk) 14:49, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• it would be useful to link secular music in the lead

• I was going to do so, but that article has no references- red flag Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• My intention was for readers to know that "secular" means non-religious, if they already haven't.--Retrohead (talk) 14:49, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• I could tell, perhaps "non-religious" could be used Snuggums (talk / edits) 15:25, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• No, if you don't want to link it, leave it that way.--Retrohead (talk) 15:30, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• Can we use brackets for the release year of Katy Hudson→(2001)

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• The following year, she moved to Los Angeles–I think we can swap the clauses so it can read "She moved to LA the following year"

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• She also worked on a solo album with Glen Ballard that was recorded but never released–She recorded an album with Glen Ballard that was never released. (the reason why the album wasn't released could be added)

• How is it now? Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• Looks good.--Retrohead (talk) 14:49, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• signed a recording contract with Capitol Records–"recording" could be easily dropped since we know that Capitol is a label

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• her single "I Kissed a Girl"–the instead of her (excessively repeating her)

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• re-released–reissued would be a better fit, since the re-release had modified tracklist and artwork

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• structures such as early/late July aren't recommended for the lead; naming just the month and year is a better option

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

Life and career

• Her parents are both reformed Christians–both is extra

• Removed Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• She has a younger brother named David, who is a singer–Her younger brother David is a singer,

• I would go with something like that if I knew for sure what Angela works as Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• Do we know the older sister's profession?

• Not really, unless Angela joining her on the California Dreams Tour counts for anything Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• the early part of her childhood–early childhood

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• as focus on most secular music–we can omit "focus on most"

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• incorporated–included

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• in the pursuit of a career in music–to pursuit music career

• I used "to pursue a musical career" Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• in support of it–to support it

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• Perry saw a small amount of success–Perry had/enjoyed minor success...

• Went with "had" Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• provided background vocals–you can use recorded to shake the prose a bit (provided is used in the previous sentence)

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• One of the Boys, released on June 17, 2008–we know it is 2008 since the year is mentioned in the previous sentence; same for "Hot n Cold"

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• After touring on the Warped Tour 2008–after finishing/concluding instead of "touring"
• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)
• Perry told MTV in August 2008–the date is irrelevant in this context

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• was cut and does not appear in the film–"was cut and" is extra; since it doesn't appear in the film, it would be logical to assume that it was cut down

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• "California Gurls" served as the lead single–was is a better fit, since we used the verb "to serve" in the previous sentence (Perry being a judge on American Idol)

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• She released the album's second U.S. chart-topping single, the title track "Teenage Dream", before releasing the album on August 24, 2010.–split this sentence; you can pair the second clause with the next sentence (something like "Released on August 24, 2010, Teenage Dream debuted at number one on the Billboard 200")

• Reworded Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• omit "The success of Teenage Dream continued with"

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• you have several "2011"and "2012" that are extra; for example, if you write "January 1, 2011", you don't have to mention 2011 in "January 2" the following sentence, since the reader assumes we are talking about the same year. This is until you mention "2012", and you continue discussing Katy's career during that year.

• Should be better now Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• Consider this also done.--Retrohead (talk) 14:49, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• her scene was uploaded to YouTube earlier–cut earlier

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• with Robyn serving as the episode's musical guest–cut serving

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• She was ranked #3–I personally don't prefer "#3"; we can go with "third on the Forbes"; also put 2011 right before Forbes list→2011 Forbes list

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• she told L'Uomo Vogue in June 2012–2012 shouldn't be here, since it was mentioned in the previous sentence (November 2012, Billboard)

• Not done if removed, some readers might think it refers to June 2013 Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• The Smurfs 2 earned $347,545,360 in theaters–Does the gross revenue really matters here? Can we say it was a financial success, although the critics disliked it?

• Wondering if I should also do this with the first Smurfs film Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• Yes, you might omit that number too.--Retrohead (talk) 14:49, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 15:23, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

Achievements

• many awards and nominations–numerous fits more than many

• That was previously deemed POV and thus discouraged during GAN Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• Ok, I accept the justification.--Retrohead (talk) 14:49, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• Perry has also been nominated for eleven Grammy Awards–received eleven Grammy nominations

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• Perry has sold more than 11 million albums worldwide. Do we have the accurate number? More than 11 million can vary from 11,1 to 11,9.

• Turns out I misread the sources given, they simply say 11 million. If I can find more recent statistics, I'll include those. Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

Addressed your points, Retrohead. Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

Artistry

• Perry's musical styling–I think "style" is more accurate

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 15:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• she aspired to be like Amy Grant–we should specify what "to be like" means; I suppose she wanted to sound like Amy Grant, but in the current state, it means Perry wanted to look like Grant

• Tweaked Snuggums (talk / edits) 15:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• she was introduced to Queen's "Killer Queen"–heard is definitely a better choice

• Changed Snuggums (talk / edits) 15:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• since is extra

• Removed Snuggums (talk / edits) 15:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• can we have the comma in "frequent collaborator, Ballard" omitted? It kinda breaks the flow.

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 15:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• Some suggestions on the opening sentence from musical style and themes: Although Perry's music incorporates pop, rock, electronic, dance, and disco, Perry's debut album, Katy Hudson, is primarily a gospel record.
• we should link pop rock, as a different subgenre (if it's not already linked) and comma after it

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 15:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• living in the present sounds awkward to a certain degree; maybe replace it with themes from everyday life (or simply everyday life)?

• Changed Snuggums (talk / edits) 15:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• vocals as "processed staccato blips" on Teenage Dream–move "on Teenage Dream" before "as"

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 15:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

Other ventures

• the money generated from tickets to her Prismatic World Tour will go to UNICEF–I see this was published in January 15 this year, so do we have the information whether the money went to Unicef? If we do, you should re-word it in past simple tense.

• Not yet, but will probably have answers after the second leg of the tour ends. Snuggums (talk / edits) 15:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• can we link "gay right" to LGBT rights in the United States?

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 15:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• as well as a selection of her own songs–I think here we should have "a number of her songs"; if we go with selection, we should list which songs she particularly performed, which I think would be too detail-y.

• Done Snuggums (talk / edits) 15:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• overall, this is pretty well-written section, perhaps the strongest facet of the article. It reads how a standardized encyclopedic article should read.

• Thank you Retrohead :D! Snuggums (talk / edits) 15:39, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

Comments. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. - Dank (push to talk)

• Disclaimer: I have a lot more experience with history articles.
• "of record production team the Matrix": I know some people feel strongly about whether to capitalize "the" in band names, but there's a grammar issue here: it only works to lowercase "the" when it flows naturally, and it doesn't here. I kept the lowercase, but moved "the Matrix" in front of "record production team".

• Very well. Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:09, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• "Perry played Moe Szyslak's girlfriend in a Christmas episode of The Simpsons": Although "played" wasn't wrong, there was a kind of "miscue" here: unless a reader knows who Moe Szyslak is, they had to get to the end of the sentence before they found out that "played" meant "voiced", so I changed it to "voiced".

• Understandable, but she had a live-action role with the Simpsons as muppet-like characters. I have now indicated this was a live-action segment. Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:09, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• There are people who don't know who Moe Szyslak is? Well I never..... Ritchie333 13:47, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• "She was ranked ... fifth on their 2012 list with $45 million. Billboard ranked her number fourteen on their 2012 list of top 40 earners, grossing nearly $12 million": So I'm guessing the $12 million wasn't all she earned ... what was the $12 million for?

• Tour earnings. Should the $12 million be scrapped? Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:09, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• "She was initially so distraught over their divorce that she contemplated suicide." The source says:

  "That song is evident of how tough it really was at a certain point. I asked myself, 'Do I want to endure? Should I continue living?'" Perry says. "All the songs are real-life moments."

• That does indeed suggest suicidal thoughts, though. Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:09, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• Right or wrong, some readers are going to feel that this is insensitive. Also, it's stated as a fact rather than attributing her ... better would be: "... she talked about contemplating suicide".

I brought this up during the peer review. My initial concern was that the article said "suicide" but the source did not contain that word, and per WP:BLP it needed to go. Snuggums assured me that the claim could be backed up by additional sources that could be added to the article if challenged and supplied links to several. Please see Talk:Katy Perry#2010-12: Teenage Dream for the full discussion. Ritchie333 09:52, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• If using other sources that state it more directly, (International Business Times, The Christian Post, MTV), which would be best? Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:09, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• I would go with the IBT source. In my view, it's the least likely one to cover Katy Perry as subject material, yet it puts "Katy Perry reveals that she considered suicide after divorcing Russell Brand" in a box separate to the other prose, citing Reuters. You can't get much more obviously sourced than that, can you? Ritchie333 13:47, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• Added Snuggums (talk / edits) 16:34, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• "and subsequently reached number one on the Billboard Hot 100". Avoid the word "subsequently"; some readers take it to mean "immediately after" and some read it as "much later". I didn't reword it here because I didn't know which you meant.

• I removed "subsequently" anyway, though. Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:09, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• "5th Top Global Recording Artist of 2013, making her the highest-ranking woman to chart on the list": I'm having trouble making sense of any of that.

• I've tweaked this a bit. According to the source, the rankings are as follows:

1. One Direction
2. Eminem
3. Justin Timberlake
4. Bruno Mars
5. Katy Perry
6. Pink
7. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
8. Rihanna
9. Michael Bublé
10. Daft Punk

Hope it looks better now. Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:09, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• "Perry lists Carole King, Bonnie Raitt, and Joni Mitchell as musical aspirations": I don't know what that means. I do understand the next bit ... "and intends to become "more of a Joni Mitchell", releasing folk and acoustic music." ... because you explicitly say what she's aspiring to.

• As it turns out, this only mentions Joni Mitchell, so I've removed the others. Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:09, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• "involve sexual lyrics and love as themes": You don't mean that the lyrics are themes, right? I'd probably say "include themes of sex and love"

• XD :P of course..... Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:09, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• "co-written songs for other recording artists": for, or with?

• For Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:09, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• I've changed this to "co-written songs recorded by other artists" just to clarify. S△M 15:37, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• Thanks Sam :) Snuggums (talk / edits) 16:34, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• I copyedited the article per my standard disclaimer. These are my edits. Well done ... the writing was lively and readable. - Dank (push to talk) 03:57, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• Thank you for doing so, Dank. How is it now? Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:09, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• Remaining points: "5th Top Global Recording Artist of 2013" should probably be "fifth on the list of Top Global Recording Artists of 2013". On the point about suicide, none of the sources given say that an expert evaluated her as suicidal, they all attribute that to her. We should follow the sources, and attribute it to her, rather than putting it in Misplaced Pages's voice ... for instance: "She was initially distraught over their divorce, and said that she contemplated suicide." There are some downsides to using the word "suicide" instead of the words she actually used, but "suicide" was used in the sources, and I'm not seeing any evidence that she objected, so I don't object either. - Dank (push to talk) 14:37, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• One more: the $12 million figure should either be scrapped, or described as tour earnings. - Dank (push to talk) 16:01, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• All done, Dank Snuggums (talk / edits) 16:34, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• Looks good. - Dank (push to talk) 16:52, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• Any other concerns or does this article have your support, Dank? Snuggums (talk / edits) 16:57, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• I'm not a reviewer these days, just a copyeditor. The prose looks really good. - Dank (push to talk) 17:12, 7 August 2014 (UTC)

• Thank you Dank :), I'll count that as a support. Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:16, 7 August 2014 (UTC)