| Revision as of 04:31, 7 September 2006 editMystar (talk | contribs)971 edits →Themes section: Neo's edit is poorly written and hard to follow...← Previous edit | Revision as of 04:33, 7 September 2006 edit undoMystar (talk | contribs)971 edits →Themes section: mNext edit → | ||
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| Neo placed this..."The book revolves around a woman by the name Jennsen who is running from assassins sent by Lord Rahl to kill her. As it becomes clear that running will do her no good as, where ever she goes, Lord Rahl's soldiers will find her. A stranger convinces her that it is time to stop fleeing and fight back and that if she wants to live, she must kill Lord Rahl". | Neo placed this..."The book revolves around a woman by the name Jennsen who is running from assassins sent by Lord Rahl to kill her. As it becomes clear that running will do her no good as, where ever she goes, Lord Rahl's soldiers will find her. A stranger convinces her that it is time to stop fleeing and fight back and that if she wants to live, she must kill Lord Rahl". | ||
| Fact is this is factual and accurate "For most of her life, Jennsen has been running from the assassin's sent by Lord Rahl to kill her. Any ungifted child of |
Fact is this is factual and accurate "For most of her life, Jennsen has been running from the assassin's sent by Lord Rahl to kill her. Any ungifted child of the Lord Rahl must die. It has become very clear that running will do her no good, wherever she goes, Lord Rahl's soldiers will find her. A seemingly heroic stranger convinces her that it is time to stop fleeing and fight back. If she wants to live, she must kill Lord Rahl.". | ||
| Neo's is poorly written ask any English major/professor/literary agent... A plot summary is designed to give the reader information as to the nature of the work, the contextual content, a name of the main character and a teaser to bind the reader into wanting to read the book. You have used poor grammatical context..."The book revolves around a woman by the name Jennsen who is running from assassins sent by Lord Rahl to kill her". | Neo's is poorly written ask any English major/professor/literary agent... A plot summary is designed to give the reader information as to the nature of the work, the contextual content, a name of the main character and a teaser to bind the reader into wanting to read the book. You have used poor grammatical context..."The book revolves around a woman by the name Jennsen who is running from assassins sent by Lord Rahl to kill her". | ||
Revision as of 04:33, 7 September 2006
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I've started this article off but I haven't read it (the book) recently enough to be able to complete it. If no one else follows up, I will read it again and make this a little more accurate and detailed. Kouros 20:30, 6 Sep 2004 (UTC)
Themes section
The Themes section needs a rewrite but I'm really not the right person to do it. The seond sentence needs to go as it's POV, WP:OR and incorrect in tone. If I delete it that only leaves the section with a single sentence so there is really no point in keeping it at all. If no one wants to rewrite it soon-ish I'm just going to pull it but I'd like to see it stay if possible. NeoFreak 09:34, 6 September 2006 (UTC)
NeoFreak, have you read this book? The second sentence, 'There is also an emphasis on the ability to choose our own course in our lives - this is most evident through the parallel tales of Oba and Jennsen', I don't see as POV. The book mainly follows Oba and Jennsen (separately), and shows how when they are both given the same/similar opportunities, they make different choices. Thus, showing us the ability to make our own decisions in life. -Merrit
- Would someone please explain to Mystar why I made the changes I did, he doesn't listen to me. NeoFreak 18:08, 6 September 2006 (UTC)
- I have to agree with NeoFreak here. His edit is:
- A) Better gramatically,
- B) More concise, and
- B) Gives away less information
- Overall, it's a better introduction, mostly because it can be readily understood by someone unfamiliar with the SoT series. - Runch 20:41, 6 September 2006 (UTC)
Neo placed this..."The book revolves around a woman by the name Jennsen who is running from assassins sent by Lord Rahl to kill her. As it becomes clear that running will do her no good as, where ever she goes, Lord Rahl's soldiers will find her. A stranger convinces her that it is time to stop fleeing and fight back and that if she wants to live, she must kill Lord Rahl".
Fact is this is factual and accurate "For most of her life, Jennsen has been running from the assassin's sent by Lord Rahl to kill her. Any ungifted child of the Lord Rahl must die. It has become very clear that running will do her no good, wherever she goes, Lord Rahl's soldiers will find her. A seemingly heroic stranger convinces her that it is time to stop fleeing and fight back. If she wants to live, she must kill Lord Rahl.".
Neo's is poorly written ask any English major/professor/literary agent... A plot summary is designed to give the reader information as to the nature of the work, the contextual content, a name of the main character and a teaser to bind the reader into wanting to read the book. You have used poor grammatical context..."The book revolves around a woman by the name Jennsen who is running from assassins sent by Lord Rahl to kill her".
Proper usage would be what I've stated. It gives nothing away, but entices the reader. We have "how long this has been happening to whom, we have who is perpetrating the act, we have the realization of action and we have the plot device... all properly worded, all contextual and all nicely succinct....
Secondly Neo makes a poorly worded intro... are we to read like we are still in 9th grade? I think not, lets not write like we are.... I have as much right and ability to edit as you or anyone.
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