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| The sense of ''zone'' is one of being stuck in an unwanted and distant relationship. The rejected person is said to have been put "in" the object of their affection's "friend zone", and this can be ], as in the sentence "So, she's friendzoned you."<ref name="twsFiberCulture4" /> The concept of the friend zone has been criticized as ], because of a belief that the concept implies an expectation that women should have sex with men whom they have no interest in, simply because they were nice to them.<ref name="6 reasons">{{cite web | url=http://www.salon.com/2013/10/12/6_reasons_the_friend_zone_needs_to_die/ | title=6 reasons the “friend zone” needs to die | website=] | publisher = Salon Media Group Inc. | date=12 October 2013 | accessdate=26 April 2015 | last=Dickson |first= E.J,}}</ref><ref name="Marcotte">{{cite web|title=The dangerous discourse of "the friend zone"|url=http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/05/27/the-dangerous-discourse-of-the-friend-zone/|last=Marcotte|first=Amanda | website = ] |date=27 May 2014}}</ref><ref>{{cite web | url=http://jezebel.com/hey-dude-youre-not-stuck-in-the-friendzone-cuz-you-dre-1653403664 | title=Hey Dude, You're Not Stuck in the Friendzone Cuz You Dress Shitty (blog) | website =] | publisher = ] | date=2 November 2014 | accessdate=26 April 2015 | last=Moore | first = Tracy}}</ref> This is closely associated with so-called "] syndrome". | The sense of ''zone'' is one of being stuck in an unwanted and distant relationship. The rejected person is said to have been put "in" the object of their affection's "friend zone", and this can be ], as in the sentence "So, she's friendzoned you."<ref name="twsFiberCulture4" /> The concept of the friend zone has been criticized as ], because of a belief that the concept implies an expectation that women should have sex with men whom they have no interest in, simply because they were nice to them.<ref name="6 reasons">{{cite web | url=http://www.salon.com/2013/10/12/6_reasons_the_friend_zone_needs_to_die/ | title=6 reasons the “friend zone” needs to die | website=] | publisher = Salon Media Group Inc. | date=12 October 2013 | accessdate=26 April 2015 | last=Dickson |first= E.J,}}</ref><ref name="Marcotte">{{cite web|title=The dangerous discourse of "the friend zone"|url=http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/05/27/the-dangerous-discourse-of-the-friend-zone/|last=Marcotte|first=Amanda | website = ] |date=27 May 2014}}</ref><ref>{{cite web | url=http://jezebel.com/hey-dude-youre-not-stuck-in-the-friendzone-cuz-you-dre-1653403664 | title=Hey Dude, You're Not Stuck in the Friendzone Cuz You Dress Shitty (blog) | website =] | publisher = ] | date=2 November 2014 | accessdate=26 April 2015 | last=Moore | first = Tracy}}</ref> This is closely associated with so-called "] syndrome". | ||
| == |
== Background == | ||
| Writer Jeremy Nicholson in '']'' suggested that when a romantic pursuer, in order to avoid being rejected up front, uses a ploy of friendly acts as a "back door" way in to a hoped-for relationship. When this method does not work, the pursuer consequently finds themselves in the ''friend zone''.<ref name="twsPsychToday5">{{Cite journal | last = Nicholson | first = Jeremy | title = Avoiding the Friend Zone: Becoming a Boyfriend or a Girlfriend | journal = ] | page = 3 | publisher = Sussex Publishers | date = 1 March 2013 | url = http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201302/avoiding-the-friend-zone-becoming-girlfriend-or-boyfriend | ref = harv | postscript = .}}</ref> | Writer Jeremy Nicholson in '']'' suggested that when a romantic pursuer, in order to avoid being rejected up front, uses a ploy of friendly acts as a "back door" way in to a hoped-for relationship. When this method does not work, the pursuer consequently finds themselves in the ''friend zone''.<ref name="twsPsychToday5">{{Cite journal | last = Nicholson | first = Jeremy | title = Avoiding the Friend Zone: Becoming a Boyfriend or a Girlfriend | journal = ] | page = 3 | publisher = Sussex Publishers | date = 1 March 2013 | url = http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201302/avoiding-the-friend-zone-becoming-girlfriend-or-boyfriend | ref = harv | postscript = .}}</ref> | ||
Revision as of 14:38, 26 July 2017
See also: Unrequited loveFor other uses, see Friend zone (disambiguation).In popular culture, the friend zone is a situation in which one member of a friendship wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not. It is generally considered to be an undesirable situation for the rejected person.
The sense of zone is one of being stuck in an unwanted and distant relationship. The rejected person is said to have been put "in" the object of their affection's "friend zone", and this can be verbified, as in the sentence "So, she's friendzoned you." The concept of the friend zone has been criticized as misogynistic, because of a belief that the concept implies an expectation that women should have sex with men whom they have no interest in, simply because they were nice to them. This is closely associated with so-called "nice guy syndrome".
Background
Writer Jeremy Nicholson in Psychology Today suggested that when a romantic pursuer, in order to avoid being rejected up front, uses a ploy of friendly acts as a "back door" way in to a hoped-for relationship. When this method does not work, the pursuer consequently finds themselves in the friend zone.
The term "friend zone" is sometimes used in pick up artist (PUA) literature, where it forms part of PUA theories about female sexual attraction to males.
According to some psychologists, the man in a cross-gender friendship is more likely to be attracted to his woman friend than she is to him, and he is more likely to overestimate her interest in a romantic or sexual relationship.
Criticism of the term
Feminist bloggers have argued that the friend zone concept is misogynistic, and being rooted in male narcissism. The nice guy concept has been criticized as a gender trope with an underlying message that kind acts demand a sexual or romantic reward, and that this concept implies that if a woman and a man have a platonic friendship and the man becomes romantically attracted to the woman, then the woman has an obligation to return his affection. A woman who does not return her "nice guy" male friend's affection is viewed negatively or seen to be at fault.
The Guardian contributor Ally Fogg argues that while the friend zone does not exist in a literal sense, men who use the term "friend zone" are not necessarily misogynists who feel entitled to sex. He states the term's usage does reflect a genuine emotional experience for straight men with low self-esteem and self-confidence. He speculates these men don't feel entitled to sex, thus accept and even expect the rejection they receive. He places blame on ingrained gender roles that expect men to be the ones to initiate romantic advances and place an undue burden on more shy and reserved men. Fogg says, "it requires a particularly bleak view of human nature to assume that this means the friendship was never genuine, or that he secretly believes the woman should have been obliged to have sex with him," warns that "there is a danger in labeling men like this as misogynists or creeps", and says that the shaming of sexually reserved men is related to shaming of sexually assertive women.
Popular culture
The term was popularized by a 1994 episode of the American sitcom Friends entitled "The One with the Blackout", where the character Ross Geller, who was lovesick for Rachel Green, was described by character Joey Tribbiani as being the "mayor of the friend zone".
The 2005 film Just Friends features a main character, played by Ryan Reynolds, reunited after ten years with his friend played by Amy Smart, who informs him that she loves him "like a brother", essentially dashing any hopes of him having her as a girlfriend.
MTV aired a reality show entitled FriendZone from 2011 to 2013. Each episode is based around "crushers" who are friends with the "crushees", but want to begin relationships with them.
See also
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References
- "friend zone", Oxford English Dictionary, retrieved 22 January 2014,
...a situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unrequited romantic or sexual interest in the other...
- Binazir, Ali (February 2011). "How to stay out of the Friend Zone". taoofdating.com. Retrieved 24 February 2011.
- Cite error: The named reference
twsFiberCulture4was invoked but never defined (see the help page). - Dickson, E.J, (12 October 2013). "6 reasons the "friend zone" needs to die". Salon.com. Salon Media Group Inc. Retrieved 26 April 2015.
{{cite web}}: CS1 maint: extra punctuation (link) CS1 maint: multiple names: authors list (link) - ^ Marcotte, Amanda (27 May 2014). "The dangerous discourse of "the friend zone"". rawstory.com.
- Moore, Tracy (2 November 2014). "Hey Dude, You're Not Stuck in the Friendzone Cuz You Dress Shitty (blog)". Jezebel. Univision Communications. Retrieved 26 April 2015.
- Nicholson, Jeremy (1 March 2013). "Avoiding the Friend Zone: Becoming a Boyfriend or a Girlfriend". Psychology Today. Sussex Publishers: 3.
{{cite journal}}: Invalid|ref=harv(help)CS1 maint: postscript (link) - ^ Fogg, Ally (8 January 2013). "Not all men in the 'friend zone' are bad guys". The Guardian. Guardian Media Group. Retrieved 29 November 2014.
- Bleske-Rechek, April; Somers, Erin; Micke, Cierra; Erickson, Leah; Matteson, Lindsay; Stocco, Corey; Schumacher, Brittany; Ritchie, Laura (August 2012). "Benefit or burden? Attraction in cross-sex friendship". Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. 29 (5). Sage: 569–596. doi:10.1177/0265407512443611.
{{cite journal}}: Invalid|ref=harv(help)CS1 maint: postscript (link) Pdf. - ^ Dasgupta, Rivu. "The Friend Zone is Sexist". The Maneater (student publication). University of Missouri. Retrieved 1 November 2014.
- "Friends: The One With the Blackout Recap". TV.com. Retrieved 14 January 2008.