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Kevin Federline

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Kevin Federline
Musical artist

Kevin Earl Federline (born March 21 1978), is an American gold digging asshole, whiteboy, douche bag, and hobo.

Career

Gold Digger

Kevin Federline has been a gold diggier for countless years and has knocked up both Brik-nee and that other one.

Bad Rapper

Federline's previous single, "PopoZão," was released on New Year's Day, 2006. It sold 2 copies. He released his debut album, Playing with Fire, on October 31, 2006 to poor reviews because it sucked so bad it inspired colombine and 9/11, and lackluster sales.

Hobo

Before he knocked up Brik-nee, he lived in a cardboard box and sold socks and bootleg DVD's.

Embarassing Television appearances

He played a loser whiteboy in some crappy movie and played some asshole in a pig mask on CSI. Federline was featured in a Nationwide Mutual Insurance Company commercial during Super Bowl XLI on February 4 2007, as part of its "Life Comes at you Fast" ad series. In the commercial, Federline initially appeared in a music video rapping about living a high flying lifestyle. Then, reality sets in as Federline is shown now working in a fast food restaurant with his manager yelling at him, the punchline of the ad being "Life comes at you fast."

Professional Retullin

K-Fed appeared on wrestling twice where he was going to fight fellow rapping loser whiteboy, John Cena, the doctor of Reganomics. The first time, suffice to say he got his ass kicked. The second time, he ran away like a bitch while fatass Umaga fought John Sizzle.


Personal life

In his spare time, he likes to rhyme "fire" with "fire" and knock up celebrities and run away with their cash. He also likes to drive like an asshole in his hummer, play video games, and eat nasty shit at Taco Bell.

Satire

Federline's stage name of K-Fed and status as the ex-partner of Britney Spears was ridiculed by some media commentators, who labelled him "Fed-ex"

Discography

Singles

Album


References

  1. metacritic.com, Playing with Fire entry, accessed February 12 2007
  2. abcnews.com, Kevin Federline Says He's Doing 'Great', accessed February 12 2007
  3. Nationwide Commercial - RollinVIP Youtube.com

External links

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