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Virginity is a term used as an expression of purity. In its most common context, it is a concept that refers to the state of a person never having engaged in sexual activities with another person. A person who still has his or her virginity can accordingly be described as being a virgin.
Alternatively, the term can indicate a general lack of experience in other activities outside the realm of sexuality, such as a player of bingo being described as virgin when she/he is a newcomer to the game.
This word for purity can also be applied to some food and beverage products. For example, some cocktails can be described as being "virgin" when they lack alcoholic content. Similarly, olive oil may be called "virgin" or "extra-virgin" if it comes from the first pressing and contains no refined oil.
Etymology
With the standard usage of these terms (where the state of purity is thought to come from a lack of sexual relations), they have been more commonly applied to women than to men, both historically and in many present-day situations. In fact, the terms traditionally were used to simply describe a female unmarried person: It was introduced to English in the 13th century, and via French virgine derived from Latin virgo (Genitive virginis), which is composed of "vir" meaning "man" or "husband", and "genere", "created (for)", and already had the meaning of a female in (nuptial) subjection to a male. During the Middle English period, the word "maid" referred to a person, whether male or female, who had never been married or sexually active. Geoffrey Chaucer, for instance, used that word in reference to Christ and St. Paul. However, applying the term to men as well has become uncommon in modern times, as the word "maid" lost currency in reference to men and began to refer only to unmarried women (called maidens) and, later, unmarried domestic servants. Domestic servants, of course, are often married, sometimes to each other. This was common in Victorian times and still occurs now, although (live-in) domestic servants have become exceptionally rare.
In culture
The status of virginity is respected and valued in certain societies, particularly when there are religious views regarding sexual conduct before marriage. A woman who is a virgin is also sometimes referred to as a maiden.
Female virginity is closely interwoven with personal or even family honour in many cultures. Traditionally in some cultures there has been a widespread belief that the loss of virginity before marriage is a matter of deep shame. In some cultures (for example the Bantu of South Africa), virginity testing or even painful surgical mutilation guaranteeing premarital abstinence (infibulation) are commonplace (see Female Genital Mutilation). This would typically involve personal inspection by a female elder.
In Western marriage ceremonies, brides traditionally wear veils and white wedding dresses, which are inaccurately believed by many people to be symbols of virginity. In fact, wearing white is a comparatively recent custom among western brides, who previously wore whatever colors they wished or simply their "best dress." Wearing white became a matter first of trendy fashion and then of custom and tradition only over the course of the 19th century.
Feminists have stated that the very notion of virginity is a sexist construct, since it is rarely applied to men, even in the conservative societies that prize virginity most highly. However, many religious organizations, including some common Protestant churches, teach virginity for both the male and the female. But still, such societies assume that a bridegroom will not be a virgin, but never mention that assumption. In fact, marriage becomes a commercial transaction, in which one man (the bridegroom) purchases the right to take a woman's virginity from another man (the bride's father). In some such societies, rape was originally defined not as a crime against a woman's person but as a property crime, in which the rapist stole a woman's virtue from her father, who was entitled to sell it. This gave rise to laws that allowed a rapist to atone for his offense by marrying the girl or by paying a fine to her father.
Technical virginity
Some historians and anthropologists note that many societies that place a high value on virginity before marriage, such as the United States before the sexual revolution, actually have a large amount of premarital sexual activity that does not involve vaginal penetration: for example, oral sex, anal sex, anal-oral contact, and sexual outercourse. This is considered by some people "technical" virginity, as vaginal intercourse has not occurred but the participants are sexually active. This distinction is not identical to the distinction President Bill Clinton made in the Lewinsky scandal, when he said, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman," but it is closely related to it. Some cynics remarked that "blow jobs don't count," in the Lewinsky matter: the same rule is often applied to both adultery and virginity.
The notion of technical virginity is widely derided by many social commentators. Assertions of technical virginity, often made for religious reasons, may be regarded by some as grossly hypocritical and self delusional.
The well known advice columnist Dan Savage frequently ridicules such assertions when made by correspondents to his column and podcast Savage Love. His view, shared by many, is that "having sex", explicitly includes sexual activity other than vaginal intercourse, including oral or anal sex, or mutual masturbation. It therefore follows that once an individual has engaged in such sexual activity, they are no longer a virgin in any meaningful sense.
Loss of virginity
The act of losing one's virginity, that is, of a first sexual experience, is commonly considered within Western culture to be an important life event and a rite of passage. It is highlighted by many mainstream Western movies (particularly films aimed at a teenaged audience). The loss of virginity can be viewed as a milestone to be proud of or as a failure to be ashamed of, depending on cultural perceptions. Historically, these perceptions were heavily influenced by perceived gender roles, such that for a male the association was more often with pride and for a female the association was more often with shame.
Among human females, the hymen is a membrane, part of the vulva, which partially occludes the entrance to the vagina which stretches, or is sometimes torn when the woman first engages in sexual intercourse. The human hymen can vary widely in thickness, shape, and flexibility. The presence of an intact membrane has historically been seen as physical evidence of virginity in the broader technical sense, though this method does not account for the fact that its absence might not indicate the opposite.
In the majority of women, the hymen is sufficiently vestigial as to pose no obstruction to the entryway of the vagina. The presence of a broken hymen may therefore indicate that the vagina has been penetrated but also that it was broken via physical activity or the use of a tampon or dildo. Many women possess such thin, fragile hymens, easily stretched and already perforated at birth, that the hymen can be broken, or merely disappear, in childhood, without the woman's even being aware of it. A hymen can sometimes be broken while riding a horse or bicycle, though this is not common.
In contrast to the common cases of an absent or partial hymen, in rare cases a woman may possess an imperforate hymen, such as prevents the release of menstrual discharge. A surgical procedure known as hymenotomy, which creates an opening in the hymen, is sometimes required to avert deleterious health effects. The playwright Ben Jonson claimed that Queen Elizabeth I of England, the Virgin Queen, had a "membranum" that made her "incapable of Man", and that a friend of hers, a "chirurgeon", had offered to remedy the problem with his scalpel and that Elizabeth had demurred.
(Another explanation of Elizabeth's lifelong virginity is obvious: under English law in her time, Elizabeth was the first Queen regnant, as powerful as a king—and she knew it—but only while unmarried: as soon as she married, her husband would take all her power away. King Phillip II of Spain courted her for this very reason. She liked being queen, so she turned down a number of suitors, including a few she liked. It is possible that she took a lover without being married, but this has not been shown.)
The presence of a hymen is a possible indication, but no guarantee, of virginity, given that it is speculated that some degree of sexual activity may occur without rupturing the hymen and because there may exist varying definitions as to the type and extent of sexual activity that is required to terminate the state of "virginity". This is further complicated by the availability of hymenorrhaphy surgical procedures to repair or replace the hymen. (This procedure, while rare in the U.S., is more common in countries where virginity is greatly prized, as in the Middle East. It is also more common among the wealthier classes than the poorer classes: this is a classical case of elective surgery performed with no medical benefit.)
In some cultures, women are not regarded as virgins after a sexual assault, but some people disavow this notion. There are also those who take this "spiritual" concept of virginity to its maximum, considering "born again virgins" to be virgins, regardless of their past sexual conduct. However, the word "chastity" is often used in this context rather than "virginity". The Catholic Church prefers nuns to be virgins—certainly young ones must be—but it does allow a few widows to take the veil, on the assumption that their sex lives—and family loyalties that might conflict with their vocations—expired with their husbands.
In males, there is no physically visible indicator of virginity. The sexual partner during the loss of virginity is sometimes colloquially said to "take" the virginity of the virgin partner. In some places, this colloquialism is only used when the partner is not a virgin, but in other places, the virginity of the partner does not matter. The archaic term "deflower" is sometimes used in modern times to also describe the act of the virgin's partner, and the clinical term "defloration" is another way to describe the event.
Male virgins should typically wear a condom for their first time as they are at greater risk of premature ejaculation and contracting sexually transmitted diseases e.g. chlamydia, HIV.
One slang term used for virginity is "cherry" (often, this term refers to the hymen, but can refer to virginity in males or females) and for a virgin, deflowering is said to "pop their cherry," a reference to destruction of the hymen during first intercourse. "Popping the cherry" can also refer to a person's first experience of receptive anal sex, and for this reason the anal sphincter can be referred to as the "cherry".
A curious term often seen in English translations of the works of the Marquis de Sade is to depucelate. This word is apparently a literal translation of dépuceler, a French verb derived from pucelle (n.f.), which means "virgin" and is the root of the slang term "pussy." Joan of Arc was commonly called "la Pucelle" by her admirers, most likely in reference to the Virgin Mary.
In some countries until the late 20th century, if a man did not marry a woman whose virginity he had taken, the woman was allowed to sue the man for money, in some languages named "wreath money". In the U.S., it is still possible to sue for breach of promise, but the issue is not generally virginity, which is of greatly reduced value except in strictly religious, social conservative subcultures.
Religion
Greece and Rome
Virginity has been often considered to be a virtue denoting purity and physical self-restraint and is an important characteristic of Greek goddesses Athena, Artemis, and Hestia. The Vestal Virgins were strictly celibate priestesses of Vesta. The Maiden or Virgin is one of the three persons of the Triple Goddess in many Neopagan traditions. The constellation Virgo represents a wide selection of sacred virgins.
Hinduism
In Sanskrit a virgin is called akṣata-yoni, one with undefiled or undisturbed virginity. Another often used words, kanyā and kumārī, refer to a young unmarried girl, a bride or a daughter in general, not necessarily a virgin proper, although such girls were considered virgins by default. These are also names of the goddess Durga, who is a virgin in some of her aspects or expansions.
"The nuptial texts are applied solely to virgins, (and) nowhere among men to females who have lost their virginity, for such (females) are excluded from religious ceremonies."
"The sun-god said: O beautiful Pṛthā, your meeting with the demigods cannot be fruitless. Therefore, let me place my seed in your womb so that you may bear a son. I shall arrange to keep your virginity intact, since you are still an unmarried girl."
In predominantly Hindu societies in Nepal and India, any form of premarital sexual intercourse is still frowned upon immensely and is considered an act destined to bring great dishonour and disrespect to the family. It is practically impossible for a non-virgin girl to find a partner from a traditional family. Often such girls move from a village to a city to escape the related social stigma. In the process, they typically distance themselves from their families, as well as the gossips and moralists they seek to avoid. If the gossips and moralists are in their families, this distance may be exactly what such a girl seeks.
Christianity
Some Christians today say that virginity indicates a state of holiness in terms of sexuality before marriage, and most Christian denominations believe that the New Testament and Old Testament of the Christian Bible forbid pre-marital sex of any form. These ideas are more specifically discussed throughout the Old Testament. As in Judaism, the interpretation of Genesis is it that describes sex as a gift from God to be celebrated within the context of marriage. The New Testament also speaks of the Christian's body as a holy temple that the Spirit of God comes to dwell in. (1 Corinthians 3:16) Purity in general is deeply threaded throughout the entire Bible.
Most Christians believe that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was a virgin at the time Jesus was conceived, based on the account in the Gospel of Luke. In Roman Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, and Oriental Orthodox Christianity, her perpetual virginity is held as a dogma, although other Christians do not necessarily accept this view. Some christians may refer to her as the Virgin Mary or the Blessed Virgin Mary.
In Finland, the phrase ei ennen papin aamenta (not before priest says Amen) refers to abstinence before marriage. It is also used in any contexts to warn doing anything prematurely or before its time. The phrase includes also a side meaning "but do it for good once the priest has said the amen!".
Until recently, some states that have a significant Christian population have or have had laws protecting virginity. Germany abandoned a law (§1300 BGB) only in 1998 that entitled the deflowered virgin to compensation if the relationship ended. In Mexico, there is a very old saying, still used by females today: "Fulfill your promise to marry me (if we had sex), or leave me how I was (a virgin)". <sup(former) situation in other countries needed/sup/>
Islam
Islam provides a decree that sexual activity must occur only between married individuals. Quotes such as 'Do not even go near Adultery' (Al-Israa 17: 32), are testament to this. Islam teaches both partners in a marriage to fulfill and satisfy each other to the fullest extent. Marriage is considered to be "half of the Deen (Faith)". The husband and wife must always keep in mind the needs, both sexual and emotional, of each other.
Qur'an 17:32 says "And come not near to the unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a Fâhishah , and an evil way (that leads one to Hell unless Allâh forgives him)." Unlawful sexual intercourse in this context refers both to adultery and premarital sex.
Judaism
Virginity appears in Judaism as early as the verse in Genesis, referring to Eliezer's encounter with Rebekah: 'And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her' (Genesis 24:16) and is a recurring theme throughout the Bible, especially with regard to the laws governing betrothal, marriage and divorce.
However, in practice, Judaism is fairly lenient about sexual relations, and has been since its early days, fairly pragmatic about the realities of sex and sexuality. Sex in Judaism is not seen as dirty or undesirable — in fact, sex within a marriage is considered a mitzvah, or desirable virtue. Jewish law contains rules related to and protecting female virgins and dealing with consensual and non-consensual pre-marital sex. The thrust of Jewish law's guidance on sex is effectively that it should not be rejected, but should be lived as a wholesome part of life.
Although there is a provision in Judaism for sex outside of marriage, the idea of a pilegesh, is it very seldom used, partially because of the emphasis placed on marriage and other social pressurs, and partially because some prominent Rabbis have been opposed to it, e.g. Maimonides.
While a child born of certain forbidden relationships, such as adultery or incest, is considered a mamzer, approximately translated as illegitimate, who can only marry another mamzer, a child born out of wedlock is not considered a mamzer unless also adulterous or incestuous.
The more liberal denominations (Reconstructionist Judaism, Reform Judaism, and Conservative Judaism) are relatively open to pre-marital sex: while it is not encouraged, it is not ignored, either—rules governing sexuality still apply, etc. In stricter denominations, such as the Hasidim, sex before marriage can be relatively uncommon, as religious practices of modesty, arranged marriages, marriages at a younger age, and related practices, may apply, thus restricting the mobility of single people.
Medicine and biology
In early modern Europe, prolonged virginity in females was believed to cause the disease of chlorosis or "green sickness".
For cross breedings of some laboratory animals, females are needed that have not already copulated in order to insure that the offspring possess the intended genotype. To do this in Drosophila flies for example, females are used that are maximally 6 to 8 hours old (at 25°C); only after this period has elapsed do inseminations begin.
Literature
- Laura Carpenter, Virginity Lost: An Intimate Portrait of First Sexual Experiences, New York UP, 2005, ISBN 0814716539
References
- Brockhaus 2004, Kranzgeld
- Manu-smṛti 8.226, trans. by Georg Bühler
- Bhāgavata Purāṇa 9.24.34, trans. by A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda
See also
External links
- University of California, Santa Barbara's SexInfo - article addresses losing one's virginity and first time sex worries