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Paraphilic infantilism

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Revision as of 01:16, 5 November 2007 by Arukan Harless (talk | contribs) (→Diaper wearing)(diff) ← Previous revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff) "Infantilism" redirects here. For the Freudian concept of psychosexual infantilism, see psychosexual stages.

Paraphilic infantilism is a paraphilia characterized by the desire to wear diapers and be treated as a infant or toddler. One who engages in infantilistic play is known as an adult baby (AB). About one in three adult babies is also a diaper lover (DL), so they are collectively known as AB/DLs. The majority of infantilists are heterosexual males.

Paraphilic infantilism and diaper fetishes differ in self-image and the focus of attention. However, they can coexist in individuals and have some similarities in practice. Neither include a sexual preference for children. There is no singular, archetypical infantilism, but a range. Some fantasize about being free of guilt, responsibility, or control while others might not. Some act indistinguishably from a baby at times, while others practice in a way that would be unnoticed by passers by on the street. The desires and tastes of infantilists vary around common themes of diapers and babyhood.

Paraphilic infantilism contrasted with diaper fetishes

One way to describe paraphilic infantilism is to contrast it with a diaper fetish, and this contrast is most clear in fantasies. Although there is no typical AB/DL fantasy, they often fall within two extremes. One extreme involves the fantasy of being an infant or small child; adorable, sexually innocent, and powerless. The infant fantasy might involve diapers, baby clothes, and toys to help define the infant's role. In the end, the infant might drift off to sleep in a soft crib. The other extreme is the erotic lover. The lover fantasy would focus on diapers as fetish items, sexually charged objects. The lover fantasy would end in orgasm and ejaculation.

Most individuals who have these fantasies do not seek psychotherapy. According to the American Psychiatric Association, if there is significant distress or impairment for a period of over six months, paraphilic infantilism or fetishism might be diagnosed, depending on the focus. The urges and fantasies caused by diaper fetishes focus on the diapers themselves, while infantilism focuses on becoming a baby. (Please note that many published cases are only tangentially related to infantilism and diaper fetishism and should not be confused with the basic paraphilias.)

In practice, the distinction between the two is much narrower; both involve diapers and adults. Those who try to act out the infant fantasy or similar ones are called Adult Babies (ABs). This may involve adult sized diapers and baby clothes, etc. If their partner is willing, they may engage in mother/baby roleplay. The adult baby may choose not to engage in sex while they are in the baby role, since it isn't babylike. In contrast, diaper fetishes are much more practical. They may involve adding diapers to otherwise ordinary sexual activities. Those who do are called Diaper Lovers (DLs). Neither are adult baby practices exclusive to paraphilic infantilists, nor diaper lover practices exclusive to diaper fetishists. Many AB/DLs describe themselves as 'mostly AB' or 'mostly DL,' based on which they engage in more frequently. Those with urophilia and coprophilia may enjoy similar practices.

To quickly summarize the theoretical differences, adult babies might have paraphilic infantilism, their interests are self-image or alter-ego focused, and might refrain from sexual activities during adult baby play. In contrast, diaper lovers might have a diaper fetish, their interests are directed at a sexual fetish object, and don't inherently involve roleplay. In practice, the differences among AB/DLs are much less well-defined

Other contrasts

Pedophilia

Confusing infantilism with pedophilia is a common misunderstanding. Pedophilia is a sexual preference for pre-pubescent children. In contrast, infantilists have a desire to be infants themselves, and those with a diaper fetish have a sexual interest in diapers. Generally, they have ordinary heterosexual or homosexual sexual experiences otherwise. Inside the AB/DL communities, a sharp distinction is observed. Most AB/DL organizations will expel child molesters.

Other infantilisms

'Paraphilic infantilism' is usually shortened to 'infantilism.' This can lead to some misunderstandings, since 'infantilism' can also mean 'lacking development.' Mental retardation involves never having achieved an average maturity, in contrast to adult babies, who actively set their maturity aside. In turn, psychosexual infantilism, a term coined by Freud, referred to those who haven't "matured" through the psychosexual stages into heterosexuality. Psychosexual infantilism includes paraphilic infantilism as well as other paraphilias and sexual orientations. Finally, regression is a broad term with many meanings. Adult babies regress, but those who regress aren't necessarily adult babies.

Practical or voluntary use

Those who wear diapers because of incontinence are probably not AB/DLs. While they may wear and use diapers, they aren’t necessarily doing it to express an alternate self-image or indulge a fetish. This also applies to those who use diapers for practical reasons, such as astronauts and scuba divers. Finally, there are some who start wearing diapers as a "new kink."

There are many that wear diapers but are not paraphilic infantilists or diaper fetishists in the strictest sense. Their motivations and underlying mechanisms are different. However, those who share AB/DL interests and practices are generally welcome in the communities, and may sometimes be counted as AB/DLs.

Common fantasy elements

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Coercion

Force or coercion is sometimes present in AB/DL fantasies. This can range from the inclusion of S&M or B&D play into AB scenarios through to more specifically AB scenarios such as the Diaper Discipline, or Petticoat Punishment in which a supposed older child or adult is regressed into a baby-state as punishment for misdemeanors. This can sometimes form a validation activity, where the AB mitigates their guilt for having AB desires with the fact that they are only in nappies as a punishment.

Identification

AB/DLs may enjoy looking at pictures showing whom they want to be, as opposed to whom they want to be with. For example, a heterosexual male adult baby may enjoy looking at pictures of men in diapers: he may be imagining himself as the men in the diapers.

Permanent regression

A common fantasy among adult babies involves a permanent return to a more infantile position. This may involve being put back in diapers or returned to the nursery for the rest of their life. These fantasies may be enjoyed even by ABs who are consciously aware that they would not want to give up their adult lives.

Exhibitionism

Modesty and self-consciousness are not expected from infants and small children. Babies can be out in public in just a diaper and t-shirt, and can have their diaper changed in public. There are no local, state, or national laws that prohibit adults from wearing diapers, t-shirts, diaper covers, or body suits (onesies). Nonetheless, an adult in an uncovered diaper can expect to be treated like any adult in uncovered underwear, although no citations to support this statement are offered here.

Control Removal

Just as a baby has no responsibilities, they also have no privacy. The inclusion of scenarios where the AB is not granted genital privacy and has no rights of complaint or choice of activity can provide a return to a baby-state and can allow deep immersion in the baby mindset. In this context the AB is usually not allowed to touch themselves, but may have their nappy changed, their body cleaned, their genitals examined, and even be internally examined or given enemas/suppositories etc. without any warning, choice of circumstances or control over who is present. Their right to control access to their genitals is completely disregarded.

Sissy babies, cross-dressing

A sissy baby is a male AB/DL who mixes gender play with infantilism. This cross-dressing might involve stereotypical or exaggerated "little girl" clothing, such as frilly panties or dresses. Sissies are not necessarily transsexual in that, while some might be expressing an alter ego that is a baby girl, they might not wish to be an adult woman at other times.

A separate group enjoys the masochistic demasculinization of being dressed as baby girl, analogous to non-AB/DL masochists who enjoy being cross-dressed by force.

Integrating other interests

The individual AB/DL may have other interests that have become integrated with AB/DL. Sissys are one example.In turn, a babyfur has integrated infantilism and furry fandom. Sissys and babyfurs are among many groups resulting from the integration of side-interests with infantilism. The combinations can themselves be combined in countless ways. For example, there are sissy babyfurs.

Origins

There are many different causes for Paraphilic Infantilism, and most AB/DLs are unaware of any specific reason for their AB/DL nature. Many AB/DLs describe incidents throughout their life from a young age that indicate that the inclination has been with them for a long time. Others discover a joy in it later in life.

Relief from stress

It seems common for "relief from stress" to be indicated as an important aspect, but it can be hard to determine if the stress results from the AB/DL nature or the AB/DL nature provides an escape from the stress. In either regard the attitude is often that in child-state there are none of the responsibilities of day-to-day life. This may be indicative of difficulties and stresses during toilet training, given that bladder/bowel control is the first responsibility most children are taught.

Negative incidents

Specific incidents may have occurred during childhood or adolescence that have caused nappies to get a sexual association, or that caused the developing child to feel safer when still in nappies. Examples can include so-called diaper-discipline still sometimes practiced on wayward children/teens, sexual abuse, or even simple chances of circumstance such as loss of a parent at the critical point of development. A number of AB/DL's report developmental delays in their bladder and/or bowel training, such as late bedwetting.

Gender association

Particularly amongst sissy-babies, but also amongst some other AB/DLs, the time as a baby may be associated with softness and aspects of life seen as more feminine. This can then show as an AB/DL fetish later in life when trying to unravel unexpressed elements of femininity.

Gender Mix

There is a strong tendency for AB/DLs to be male. Estimates often quoted seem to claim around 95%. There are a number of reasons suggested for this, including the following...

Role

The baby role is specifically powerless. Social powerlessness is all too common for women and there can be a need to defend against that. Men are more likely to find powerlessness appealing as a contrast to their normal circumstances.

Child rearing

The associations women are taught to have with children are in a nurturing role, and are likely to be strongly non-sexual. As a result the sexual connotations of adult-babys are likely to be negative.

Diaper wearing

Due to the demands of menstruation many women are at least somewhat familiar with wearing pads for part of each month. Given the negative pressures on women at this time combined with the opportunity to wear virtual diapers if there is any desire to, there is a reduced likelihood of women being attracted to being diapered. (Examining the literature it appears that most female AB/DLs are more interested in being cared for than in the specifics of diaper-play)

Hygiene

The male body is less difficult to keep safe from infection caused by messy diaper-play. Use of a diaper for feces risks mess entering the vagina requiring more difficult cleanup and risking infection.

Femininity

Many AB/DLs seek a feminine role or the aspects of being a baby commonly associated with femininity (soft/fleecy clothing, lace, being seen as cute/attractive, not being seen as threatening etc.) A woman with a love for these can choose normal day-wear that will satisfy most of these desires. For the most part this is not an option for men.

Stress relief

While both genders suffer many stresses as adults, modern society offers few outlets for stress relief for men. The opportunity to regress to a childlike non-responsible state would seem likely therefore to be more appealing to men than to women.

Practices

Aside from the many things that AB/DLs would like to do, but cannot, there is an extensive list of practices that they might actually engage in. Some common elements and practices are listed here.

Diaper usage

A central practice to AB/DL is wearing a diaper. When wearing diapers, many AB/DLs like to urinate in them, and a smaller number defecate in them. Others do not because they find such practices disgusting, do not enjoy it, do not want to go through the cleanup afterward, or wouldn't be able to without being obvious. Some AB/DLs have difficulty wetting their diapers when they want to, as the result of overtrained bladders or paruresis.

A common compromise between wanting to wear diapers and needing to go about daily life is to wear diapers under normal clothing. When adult babies do so, it is in their everyday mindset, as opposed to an infantile one. A few adult babies wear diapers all the time, and may seek to develop urinary incontinence. The level of enjoyment in wearing diapers all the time is mixed, and it may have lasting effects; some adult babies have found that the enjoyment diminishes rapidly when the need to wear diapers is always present. Other AB/DLs enjoy wearing diapers intermittently more than they would enjoy wearing them all the time.

Coming out

A difficult choice that AB/DLs must make involves who to tell about their interests. This offers the possibility of being accepted for who they are, and not having to hide. However, it also includes the risk of disgrace at home, school, and work.

Finding a "mother" or "father"

A difficult part of life as an AB/DL is finding a compatible spouse. For diaper lovers, the search is difficult because there are few diaper lovers in the general population. Most people aren't particularly aroused by diapers. In contrast, adult babies would be seeking more of a caregiver. This search is hard since the desire to care for an adult baby is rare. Female AB/DLs are not necessarily willing to be mommies. Some AB/DLs are willing to be 'switch' mothers or fathers.

For DLs, there are some prostitutes willing to partake in diaper play. For ABs, there are professional "adult babysitters." Many seek the services of a ProDomme/Dominatrix who specializes in role play activities centered around being the mother or Governess/Nanny figure.

Growing up as an AB/DL

Teens who are infantilists are referred to as teen babies (TB). Infantilist teens often struggle when they begin getting urges for infantile items, treatment, or behavior. Often, the hardest part of this struggle is telling other people about these feelings - doing so at such an important age can mean social rejection or even worse, parental rejection. Teen infantile behavior varies heavily, but is generally simpler than the AB/DL activities of adults.

While feelings of isolation are still a common part of the youths of AB/DLs, a number of online communites have developed, many of which have grown due to the increasing ease of accessing the internet.

Paraphernalia

While the tastes and collections of individual ABs differ, some items that might be involved include diapers, onesies, blanket sleepers, cribs, playpens, high chairs, baby bottles, pacifiers, and stuffed animals.

See also

References

  1. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition. Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, pg 529 (IV) or pg 286 (IIIR)
  2. Thomas John Speaker, Psychosexual Infantilism in Adults: The Eroticization of Regression. Columbia Pacific University. pg 83. Available from: DPF, Sausalito, CA 94965.
  3. Section 10 - Into the Future Retrieved 2002 from http://www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Island/5861/ds3_s10.txt, now mirrored at http://web.archive.org/web/20010424192400/www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Island/5861/DS3_S10.txt
  4. Watson, J. (2005, June 9). Baby Man, Phoenix New Times
  5. Thomas John Speaker, Psychosexual Infantilism in Adults: The Eroticization of Regression. Columbia Pacific University. pg 78. Available from: DPF, Sausalito, CA 94965.
  6. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text Revision, 2000 Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, pp 569-570
  7. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text-Revised. Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, pg 572-573.
  8. Stekel, W. (1952). Patterns of Psychosexual Infantilism. Washington Square Press., pg 144, ISBN 0-87140-840-6
  9. Pate J.E., Gabbard G.O. (2003). Adult baby syndrome Am J Psychiatry 160:1932–1936, also available as a PDF
  10. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text Revision, 2000 Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, pp 569-570
  11. Pandita-Gunawardena, R. (1990). Paraphilic Infantilism, A Rare Case of Fetishistic Behaviour. British Journal of Psychiatry. 157, 767-770
  12. Mitchell, W. (1954) Epilepsy with Fetishism Relieved by Temporal Lobectomy. Lancet. Vol. II, pp. 626-630
  13. Croarkin, P., Nam, T., Waldrep, D. (November 2004). Comment on Adult Baby Syndrome. Am J Psychiatry 161:2141
  14. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text Revision, 2000 Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, pp 568
  15. Baumeister, Roy F. (1989). Masochism and Self, Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. pg 159. ISBN 0-8058-0486-2.
  16. Thomas John Speaker, Psychosexual Infantilism in Adults: The Eroticization of Regression. Columbia Pacific University. pg 80. Available from: DPF, Sausalito, CA 94965.
  17. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text-Revised. Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, pg 572-573.
  18. Stekel, W. (1952). Patterns of Psychosexual Infantilism. Washington Square Press., pg 143, ISBN 0-87140-840-6
  19. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text-Revised. Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, pg 569-570.
  20. Arndt, William B., Jr. (1991). Gender Disorders and the Paraphilias, International Universities Press, pg 394, ISBN 0-8236-2150-2.
  21. International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems, tenth edition, Sect. F65.4
  22. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition. Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, Fourth Edition, Pg. 527
  23. Gilstrap, P. (1999, March 7-11). The Diapers They Are a-Changin'. The New Times Los Angeles. Available from DPF and the website of the interviewee, Mike A.
  24. Tistan Taormino, Still in Diapers Retrieved 8 May 2007 from http://www.villagevoice.com/people/0233,taormino,37378,24.html
  25. Thomas John Speaker, Psychosexual Infantilism in Adults: The Eroticization of Regression. Columbia Pacific University. pg 81. Available from: DPF, Sausalito, CA 94965.
  26. What Would it be Like to Wear Diapers 24/7?, Understanding Infantilism

Further reading

  • Friday, Nancy (c. 1980). Men in Love: Men's Sexual Fantasies, Delacorate Press. ISBN 0-385-33342-0.
  • Allen, Clifford (1969). A Textbook of Psychosexual Disorders. ISBN 0-19-264414-9.
  • Love, Brenda (1992). Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices, Barricade Books. ISBN 0-942637-64-X.

External links

Websites on infantilism and diaper fetishism:

Articles on infantilism and diaper fetishism:


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