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Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris being presented with the "Veteran of the Year" award at the American Veteran awards show

Carlos Ray Norris Jr., known as Chuck Norris, (born March 10, 1940), is a martial artist, an American action movie actor and Hollywood star.

Biography

Beginnings

A native of Ryan, Oklahoma, Norris has two younger brothers, Wieland and Aaron Norris, the latter of which is a Hollywood producer. Norris was born to an alcoholic Cherokee Indian father and Irish mother. When Norris was ten, his parents divorced and he later relocated to Torrance, California with his mother and brothers. Norris describes his childhood as downbeat. He was unathletic, shy, and scholastically mediocre. Kids would taunt his mixed ethnicity — wistfully he wanted to beat up his tormenters. He finished high school and soon married his girlfriend, Diane Holechek. In 1958 Norris joined the United States Air Force as a Military Policeman and was sent to Osan Air Base South Korea. It was in South Korea that Norris acquired the nickname Chuck and began his training in Tang Soo Do, an interest that would segue into black belts in Tang Soo Do and Taekwondo; an original martial arts of Korean people, Shinto-Ryu Karate, and Brazilian jujutsu; and the founding of the Chun Kuk Do ("Universal Way") form and the education association (United Fighting Arts Federation). When he returned to the states he continued to act as an MP at March Air Force Base California. Norris was discharged in August of 1962 without seeing combat. He worked for the Northrop corporation and opened a chain of karate schools, which the son of Steve McQueen attended.

Rise to fame

In 1968, Norris became Middleweight Karate champion (non-contact), a title he held for seven consecutive years. In 1969, he won Karate's triple crown for the most tournament wins of the year, and the fighter of the year award by Black Belt magazine. It was also in 1969 that Norris made his acting debut, in the Dean Martin movie The Wrecking Crew.

In 1970, his younger brother Weiland was killed in Vietnam. Norris later dedicated his Missing in Action films to his brother's memory.

At a martial arts demonstration in Long Beach, Norris met the soon to be famous Bruce Lee. In 1972, he acted as Bruce Lee's nemesis in the movie Way of the Dragon, and in 1974, McQueen encouraged him to begin acting classes at the MGM Studio.

Norris' first starring role was 1977's Breaker, Breaker!, and subsequent films such as The Octagon (1980), An Eye for an Eye (1981), and Lone Wolf McQuade proved his increasing box office bankability. In 1984, Norris starred in Missing in Action, the first of a series of POW rescue fantasies produced by Israeli cousins Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus and released under their Cannon Films banner. Over the next four years, Norris became Cannon's most prominent star, appearing in eight films, including Code of Silence, The Delta Force and Firewalker, in which he co-starred with Academy Award winner Louis Gossett, Jr.

Walker, Texas Ranger

File:NorrisAsWalker.jpg
Chuck Norris as Cordell Walker in Walker, Texas Ranger

By the close of the 1980s, Cannon Films had faded from prominence, and Norris' star appeal seemed to go with it. He reprised his Delta Force role for MGM, who had acquired the Cannon library after the latter's Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Norris went on to make several more largely ignored films before making a transition to television. In 1993, he began shooting the series Walker, Texas Ranger, which lasted eight years on CBS and continued in heavy syndication on other channels.

On October 16th, 2005, CBS Premiered the Sunday night "Movie of the Week" Walker Texas Ranger: Trial By Fire. The production was a continuation of the series, and not scripted to be a reunion movie. Norris reprised his role as Cordell Walker for the movie. He has stated that future Walker Texas Ranger "Movie of the Week" projects are expected.

Family

In 1963, his son Mike was born; a second son, Eric, followed in 1965. After 30 years of marriage, Norris and Holechek divorced in 1988. He married again in 1998, this time to former model Gena O'Kelley, and she delivered twins in 2001: Dakota Alan Norris, a boy, and Danilee Kelly Norris, a girl.

Popular Culture

  • Late Night with Conan O'Brien's parent company, NBC, acquired Universal in early 2004, giving O'Brien permission to show footage of Walker, Texas Ranger without paying royalties. O'Brien and his writers subsequently created a new segment in which O'Brien shows short, out of context clips for comedic purposes. The "Walker, Texas Ranger Lever" quickly became one of the most popular segments on Late Night, with Norris himself showing up to parody his show and using his martial arts on O'Brien.
  • Norris is a main character in a flash movie made by Neil Cicierega, called Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny.
  • Norris is the object of an Internet parody known as Chuck Norris Facts documenting and proclaiming fictional feats and characteristics. Norris has written his own response to the parody on his website, stating that he doesn't feel offended by them, and finds some of them funny.
  • Norris was parodied in a Saturday Night Live skit entitled "The Young Chuck Norris".

Trivia

  • In 1990, Norris founded the non-profit organization Kick Drugs Out of America. It has since been renamed KICKSTART.
  • Chuck Norris became the first person from the Western Hemisphere in 4,500 years to earn an 8th degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. He is considered a "Grand Master" in this discipline.
  • Norris once did a recording session with Alan Morse of Spock's Beard .
  • Chuck Norris teaches Bob Barker karate and Tang Soo Do.

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

  • Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
  • When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
  • Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
  • Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  • If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
  • Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
  • Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
  • Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
  • Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
  • Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
  • Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
  • Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
  • Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  • Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
  • Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
  • To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
  • There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
  • There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
  • Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.
  • The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
  • The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
  • Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  • When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
  • It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
  • Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
  • Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shoot-outs. When a director once said he couldn't, he replied, "Of course I can, I'm Chuck Norris," and roundhouse kicked him in the face.
  • If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.
  • If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
  • On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.
  • When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris plays dead. When playing dead doesn't work, he plays zombie.
  • Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
  • Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world's hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris.
  • God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.
  • When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.
  • Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
  • A duck's quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.
  • Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess. When Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Kasparov in the side of the face.
  • Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
  • If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.
  • Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
  • When Chuck Norris' wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said, "don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
  • Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
  • Chuck Norris doesn't need to swallow when eating food.
  • If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.
  • Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
  • Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.
  • Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.
  • Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
  • Chuck Norris invented water.
  • Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn't find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, "always leave things the way you found em!"
  • One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.
  • Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
  • Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.
  • Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
  • Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.
  • In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation, Chuck Norris can be seen powering the USS Enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks.

Filmography

Movie poster of Invasion USA, starring Chuck Norris

Notes

  1. "At Dinner with: Chuck Norris", The New York Times, May 12, 1993
  2. "Chuck Norris — Strong, Silent, Popular", The New York Times, September 1, 1985
  3. "At Dinner with: Chuck Norris", The New York Times, May 12, 1993
  4. Ibid.
  5. "Chuck Norris — Strong, Silent, Popular", The New York Times, September 1, 1985

External links

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