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Paraphilic infantilism is a paraphilia characterized by the uncontrollable desire to wear diapers, due to reasons other than medical necessity, and/or be treated as an infant or toddler. It is also characterized by the carrying out of these desires on a regular basis. Within the community of such diaper wearers, one who engages only in the erotic or sexual aspect of diaper wearing without experiencing any accompanying regression fantasies is known as a diaper lover (or DL). An adult who only engages in the infantilistic play aspect is known as an adult baby (or AB). An adult who may experience both of these things is referred to as an AB/DL. In 2004, an informal online survey of 80 adult diaper wearers showed that approximately 40% considered themselves strictly DL's, approximately 40% were mixed, and 20% considered themselves strictly AB's. The survey also indicated that there is a significant number of teenagers who engage in this practice. The American Psychiatric Association's major diagnostic guide, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, indicate that a majority of infantilists are heterosexual males.

DLs and ABs differ in self-image and the focus of attention. Neither includes a sexual preference for children. There is no singular, typical behavior for paraphilic infantilism, but a wide range of thought patterns and behaviors. Some fantasize about being free of guilt, responsibility, or control, whereas others might not. Some act indistinguishably from a baby at times, while others practice in a way that would probably not be noticed by passers by on the street. The desires and tastes of paraphilic infantilists vary around common themes of diapers and babyhood.

Differences between infantilism and diaper fetishism

Although there is no typical AB/DL, the interests of AB/DLs tend to fall along a spectrum. This can be called the spectrum between infantilism and diaper fetishism or the spectrum between adult babies and diaper lovers. The mix of interests and fantasies might vary along this spectrum, depending on the individual.

On the adult baby side of the spectrum is an interest in roleplaying as a baby or small child, called infantilism. This may involve adult sized diapers and baby clothes, toys and furniture such as a crib to help embellish the fantasy. If a partner is willing, adult babies may engage in parent/baby roleplay. The adult baby may choose not to engage in sex while engaged in a baby role, since it isn't babylike. Adult babies tend to fantasize themselves as adorable, sexually innocent, and powerless.

On the diaper lover side of the spectrum is an urge toward wearing diapers for sensations of comfort or sexual stimulation. Diaper lovers commonly focus on diapers as fetish items, or sexually charged objects, and might involve orgasm and ejaculation. Diaper lovers typically do not imagine themselves as babies. Rather, they more often see themselves as adults who are drawn to wearing diapers.

In practice, the distinction between the two is much narrower; both involve diapers and adults. Diaper lovers may sometimes enjoy engaging in infantilism while adult babies may find themselves sometimes wearing diapers purely for physical pleasure. It is common for adult babies and diaper lovers to describe themselves as 'mostly AB' or 'mostly DL,' based on which end of the spectrum they engage in more frequently. Those with urophilia and coprophilia may enjoy similar practices.

Other contrasts

Pedophilia

Confusing infantilism with pedophilia is a common misunderstanding. Infantilists have a desire to be infants themselves, and those with a diaper fetish have a sexual interest in diapers, and neither include a sexual interest towards children.

Other infantilisms

'Paraphilic infantilism' is usually shortened to infantilism. This can lead to some misunderstandings, since 'infantilism' can also mean 'lacking development.' Mental retardation involves never having achieved an average maturity, in contrast to adult babies, who actively set their maturity aside. In turn, psychosexual infantilism referred to those who haven't "matured" through Freud's psychosexual stages into heterosexuality. Similarly, Wilhelm Stekel used "psychosexual infantilism" as a category, similar to paraphilia, including paraphilic infantilism as well as other paraphilias and sexual orientations.

Sissy babies, cross-dressing

A sissy baby is a male AB/DL who mixes gender play with infantilism. This cross-dressing might involve stereotypical or exaggerated "little girl" clothing, such as panties or dresses. Sissies are not necessarily transsexual in that, while some might be expressing an alter ego that is a baby girl, they might not wish to be an adult woman at other times. Alternatively, some transgender people simply participate in ageplay as their gender identity as an extension of their transgender life.

Paraphilic infantilism in medicine

Most AB/DLs do not seek psychotherapy. As a result, many published cases are only tangentially related to infantilism and diaper fetishism and should not be confused with the basic paraphilias. In one published case of extrapolating from too small a sample size, a desire similar to paraphilic infantilism was described as most often occurring in women.

Causes

Unfortunately, to date there are no known broad-based scientific studies that have yet been made of the most probable causes, incidence and general impact of paraphilic infantilism on society at large. This may be due to both the relative rarity of the condition, and also to the fact that few paraphilic infantilists appear to seek professional mental health counseling, and that even fewer appear to require any type of pro-active mental health intervention in dealing with their condition.

Lovemap theory

According to sexology researcher, John Money, normally by the age of 8, the human mind will have fully developed its lovemap, which will serve as a sort of a sexual template, on through to the end of one's adult life. This lovemap is "a developmental representation or template in the mind and in the brain depicting the idealized lover and the idealized program of sexual and erotic activity projected in imagery or actually engaged in". Money equates all paraphilias with the formation of abnormal lovemaps during the preadolescent years. Such abnormal lovemaps can be formed by any number of contributing factors or stressors during this developmental period. In the case described by Dr. Pandita-Gunawardena above, he believed that the primary stressor was a certain 6-month-long coma that his patient experienced at the age of 6, and the resultant aftercare provided by the patient's mother. In a case reported by Gregory Lehne, Lehne postulated that his client's infantilistic lovemap may have been imprinted in his client's mind at the ages of 6 and 7. During this youthful period his patient reported having been disciplined by his mother in a certain clearly inappropriate manner which included being forced to publicly wear a diaper and a girl's dress throughout his neighborhood.

Sex ratio

There is a strong tendency for AB/DLs to be male. Estimates range from 10 to 20 males per female AB/DL.

Practices

Aside from the many things that AB/DLs would like to do, but cannot, there is an extensive list of practices that they might actually engage in. Some common elements and practices are listed here.

Diaper usage

A central practice to AB/DL is wearing a diaper. When wearing diapers, many AB/DLs like to urinate in them, and a smaller number defecate in them. Others do not because they find such practices disgusting, do not enjoy it, do not want to go through the cleanup afterward, or wouldn't be able to without being obvious. Some AB/DLs have difficulty wetting their diapers when they want to, as the result of overtrained bladders or paruresis. Some AB/DLs need to retrain to overcome this.

Ageplay

The need for an adult figure in the life of an AB is fantasized greatly - like a "mommy" or "daddy". Ageplay is a form of roleplay enjoyed by many adults worldwide. It never involves biological children and is a roleplay for consenting adults only. In the roleplay there is a desire to be treated like and cared for like a "baby" would. The AB would prefer this to occur 24/7 in their life and sometimes wish to have a spouse who would take on this role/responsibility, but realistically, since there are adult functions and activities to be responsible for it's not possible.

There are varying activities included in this roleplay - i.e. being changed and dressed, being fed, rocked and bathed. Sometimes, if consented, could include disciplining. For further information about this, please refer to ageplay in other parts.

See also

• BDSM
• Erotic lactation
• Sexual fetishism

Footnotes

1. ^ American Psychiatric Association (2000). "Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders". Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (IV-TR ed.). American Psychiatric Pub. pp. 535–582. ISBN 0890420254.
2. ^ Attention: This template ({{cite pmid}}) is deprecated. To cite the publication identified by PMID 14594737 , please use {{cite journal}} with |pmid= 14594737 instead.
3. Watson, J (2005-06-09). "Baby Man". Phoenix New Times. Retrieved 2011-02-28.
4. ^ Taormino, T (2002-08-13). "Still in Diapers". The Village Voice. Retrieved 2007-05-08.
5. ^ Speaker, TJ, Psychosexual Infantilism in Adults: The Eroticization of Regression, Sausalito, CA: Columbia Pacific University, p. 93
6. Baumeister, RF (1989). Masochism and Self. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. p. 159. ISBN 0-8058-0486-2.
7. ^ Stekel, 1952, p. 143-4.
8. Arndt, WB Jr. (1991). Gender Disorders and the Paraphilias. International Universities Press. p. 394. ISBN 0-8236-2150-2.
9. Stekel, 1952, p. vii.
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13. Lehne, GK (2000). "The First Case of Paraphilia Treated with Depo-Provera: 40-Year Outcome". Journal of Sex Education and Therapy. 25 (4): 213–220. {{cite journal}}: Unknown parameter |coauthors= ignored (|author= suggested) (help)
14. Allen, C (1969). A Textbook of Psychosexual Disorders. Oxford Medical Publications. p. 290. ISBN 0-19-264414-9.
15. Money, 1986, p. 290.
16. Money, 1986, p. 34.
17. Saleh, F (2009). Sex Offenders: Identification, Risk Assessment, Treatment, and Legal Issues. Oxford University Press. pp. 18. ISBN 0-19-517704-5.

References

• Money J (1986). Love Maps - Clinical Concepts of Sexual/Erotic Health and Pathology, Paraphilia, and Gender Transpostition in Childhood, Adolescence, and Maturity. New York: Ardent Media. ISBN 0-8290-1589-2.
• Stekel, W (1952). Patterns of Psychosexual Infantilism. Washington Square Press. p. 143. ISBN 0-87140-840-6.

Further reading

• Love, B (1992). Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices. Barricade Books. ISBN 0-942637-64-X.

• Paraphilias
• Sexual fetishism
• Sexuality and age