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Love is a profound feeling of tender affection for or intense attraction to another. It is considered a deep, ineffable feeling shared in passionate or intimate interpersonal relationships. However, in different contexts, the word love has a variety of related but distinct meanings: in addition to romantic love, which is characterized by a mix of emotional and sexual desire, other forms include platonic love, religious love, familial love, and the more casual application of the term to anyone or anything that one considers strongly pleasurable, enjoyable, or desirable, including activities and foods. This diverse range of meanings in a single word is commonly contrasted with the plurality of Greek words for Love, reflecting the word's versatility and complexity.
love of a girl (jeni) to a boy (nathan)
Scientific views
Main article: Love (scientific views)Throughout history, predominantly, philosophy and religion have speculated the most into the phenomenon of love. In the last century, the science of psychology has written a great deal on the subject. Recently, however, the sciences of evolutionary psychology, evolutionary biology, anthropology, neuroscience, and biology have begun to take centre stage in discussion as to the nature and function of love.
Biological models of sex tend to see it as a mammalian drive, just like hunger or thirst. Psychology sees love as more of a social and cultural phenomenon. Psychologist Robert Sternberg created his Triangular theory of love and argued that love has three different components: Intimacy, Commitment, and Passion. Intimacy is a form where two people can share secrets and various details of their personal lives. Intimacy is usually shown in friendships and romantic love affairs. Commitment on the other hand is the expectation that the relationship is going to last forever. The last and most common form of love is simply sex, or passion. Passionate love is shown in infatuation as well as romantic love. This led researchers such as Yela to further refine the model by separating Passion into two independents components: Erotic Passion and Romantic Passion.
Chemical basis
Recent studies in neuroscience have indicated that a consistent number of chemicals are present in the brain when people testify to feeling love. These chemicals include; Testosterone, Oestrogen, Dopamine, Norepinephrine, Serotonin, Oxytocin, and Vasopressin. More specifically, higher levels of Testosterone and Oestrogen are present during the lustful phase of a relationship. Dopamine, Norepinephrine, and Seretonin are more commonly found during the attraction phase of a relationship. Oxytocin, and Vasopressin seemed to be more closely linked to long term bonding and relationships characterized by strong attachments.
In December 2005, Italian scientists at Pavia University found that a molecule known as the Nerve Growth Factor has high levels when people first fall in love, but these levels return to as they were after one year.
"NGF level was significantly higher (p<0.001) in the subjects in love than in either the subjects with a long-lasting relationship or the subjects with no relationship . Notably, there was also a significant positive correlation between levels of NGF and the intensity of romantic love as assessed with the passionate love scale (r=0.34; p=0.007). No differences in the concentrations of other NTs were detected. In 39 subjects in love who—after 12–24 months—maintained the same relationship but were no longer in the same mental state to which they had referred during the initial evaluation, plasma NGF levels decreased and became indistinguishable from those of the control groups."
Cultural views
Main article: Love (cultural views)Although there exist numerous cross-cultural unified similarities as to the nature and definition of love, as in there being a thread of commitment, tenderness, and passion common to all human existence, there are differences. For example, in India, with arranged marriages commonplace, it is believed that love is not a necessary ingredient in the initial stages of marriage – it is something that can be created during the marriage; whereas in Western culture, by comparison, love is seen as a necessary prerequisite to marriage.
Religious views
Main article: Love (religious views)Love in early religions was a mixture of ecstatic devotion and ritualised obligation to idealised natural forces (pagan polytheism). Later religions shifted emphasis towards single abstractly-oriented objects like God, law, church and state (formalised monotheism).
A third view, pantheism, recognises a state or truth distinct from (and often antagonistic to) the idea that there is a difference between the worshipping subject and the worshipped object. Love is reality, of which we, moving through time, imperfectly interpret ourselves as an isolated part.
The Bible speaks of love as a set of attitudes and actions that are far broader than the concept of love as an emotional attachment. Love is seen as a set of behaviours that humankind is encouraged to act out. One is encouraged not just to love one's partner, or even one's friends but also to love one's enemies.
The Bible describes this type of active love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
Romantic love is also present in the Bible, particularly the Song of Songs (also known as Song of Solomon, Canticles.) Traditionally, this book has been interpreted allegorically as a picture of God's love for Israel and/or the Church. But taken naturally, we see a picture of ideal human marriage.
"Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealously unyielding as the grave. It burns like a blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned."
The passage dodi li v'ani lo (my beloved is mine and i am his ) is often engraved on wedding bands
Definitional issues
Dictionaries tend to define love as deep affection or fondness. In colloquial use, according to polled opinion, the most favoured definitions of love include the words:
- In common use, care refers to a mental or emotional state of predisposition in which one has an interest or concern for someone or something. To care for someone, may also refer to a disquieted state of mixed uncertainty, apprehension, and responsibility; or a cause for such anxiety. Caring for an object, such as a house, refers to a state of attendant maintenance; or may also refer to a state of charge or supervision, as in under a doctor’s care.
- friendship - favoured interpersonal associations or relationships.
- union - dissolution of loving subject into loved object; a hyper-real state of creative generosity.
- family - people related via common ancestry.
- bond - the inner connection when another person is a part of your identity.
Thomas Jay Oord defines love as acting intentionally, in sympathetic response to others (including God), to promote overall well-being. Oord means for his definition to be adequate for religion, philosophy, and the sciences.
See also
Notes
- Oxford Illustrated American Dictionary (1998) + Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary (2000).
- '04 Poll of 250 Chicagoans – Institute of Human Thermodynamics (Chicago)
References
- Roger Allen, Hillar Kilpatrick, and Ed de Moor, eds. Love and Sexuality in Modern Arabic Literature. London: Saqi Books, 1995.
- Shadi Bartsch and Thomas Bartscherer, eds. Erotikon: Essays on Eros, Ancient and Modern. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2005.
- Helen Fisher. Why We Love: the Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love
- Gabriele Froböse, Rolf Froböse, Michael Gross (Translator): Lust and Love: Is it more than Chemistry? Publisher: Royal Society of Chemistry, ISBN 0-85404-867-7, (2006).
- Thomas Jay Oord, Science of Love: The Wisdom of Well-Being. Philadelphia: Templeton Foundation Press, 2004.
- R. J. Sternberg. A triangular theory of love. 1986. Psychological Review, 93, 119–135
- R. J. Sternberg. Liking versus loving: A comparative evaluation of theories. 1987. Psychological Bulletin, 102, 331–345
- Sternberg, Robert (1998). Cupid's Arrow - the Course of Love through Time. Cambridge University Press. ISBN 0-521-47893-6.
- Dorothy Tennov. Love and Limerence: the Experience of Being in Love. New York: Stein and Day, 1979. ISBN 0-8128-6134-5
- Dorothy Tennov. A Scientist Looks at Romantic Love and Calls It "Limerence": The Collected Works of Dorothy Tennov. Greenwich, CT: The Great American Publishing Society (GRAMPS),
- Wood, Wood and Boyd. The World of Psychology. 5th edition. 2005. Pearson Education, 402–403
