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Hans Moleman is a fictional character of The Simpsons and is voiced by Dan Castellaneta. He normally appears in a running gag, where he usually suffers unfortunate, nearly always tragic, events.
Biography
Hans Moleman is the retconned name of the character. According to the episode "Principal Charming", his name was Ralph Mellish. He is a 4 ft 4 in (1.3 m) 140 lb (63 kg) mole-like man with extremely bad luck. Although apparently elderly, he claims to be only 32 years old (his driver's license says he was born August 2, 1961), but due to his heavy drinking, he appears much older. He has cataracts and is almost entirely blind (which has severely impaired his reading ability) and has used medical marijuana. Like several other characters (Sea Captain, Comic Book Guy, The Yes-Guy) in recent years, his real name fell into disuse as the show moved away from James L. Brooks-guided realism.
Hans usually drives a 1977 AMC Gremlin, although in "Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers"", he drives a 1995 Ford Contour. He carries a brown cane with him everywhere, which has once been shown to contain a hidden sword within it. When the Department of Motor Vehicles (where Patty and Selma work) is shown, Moleman is often getting his driver's license approved or voided.
His home address is 920 Oak Grove, Springfield, USA 90701. (In reality, 90701 is the zip code for Artesia, California.)
Careers
He runs an early morning radio show, on Springfield's jazz station KJAZZ-FM, in which he introduces himself as "This is Moleman in the Morning, Good Moleman to you". One of his other jobs was driving a truck filled with sugar (which he subsequently flipped onto its side, spilling its contents, much to Homer's delight.) In another episode ("Homer's Triple Bypass"), he is seen transporting the birthplace of Edgar Allan Poe in a truck. He also teaches an orange-eating class at the Adult Learning Centre in Springfield. On another occasion, it is implied that he works at a bird sanctuary, as he has to order a bird seed bell ("No, that's too big"). He once worked as a janitor at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant and received a severe head wound from Mr. Burns when Moleman asked Burns for seventeen dollars for a new push-broom bristling, and Burns mistook him for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.
Accidents
Hans has escaped death innumerable times, usually highly improbably. He survived his car blowing up, catching on fire thanks to the powerful magnifying effect of his glasses, Montgomery Burns using a hand drill on his head, capital punishment (after Homer eats his last meal), being buried alive, and being engulfed in a giant orb that was attempting to catch Marge (among others). Many times people will totally disregard him, usually leading to something like death, or simply imprisonment, but since he appears, even after "dying", those later appearances could indicate he survived. He was also ran over by Homer Simpson with his car.
He has also had several accidents where he was not severely injured. He further angered the crowd at Bart and Lisa's pee-wee hockey final because he tripped down the stairs. He also crashed his 1959 Cadillac into the side of Springfield's Planet Hype restaurant (which Marge mistook for a clever decoration).
Mishaps
- "Homer's Triple Bypass"
- Hans is driving a truck with a house (the birthplace of Edgar Allen Poe) on the back. Homer runs him off the road and his truck bursts into flames.
Otto runs him off the road in the school bus, after Bart says there is a gremlin on the side of the bus (Moleman was driving his AMC Gremlin) . His car stops inches from a tree, then after a second, blows up.
- "Boy-Scoutz N the Hood "
- He draws a knife from his cane to defend himself from Moe, only to stagger and fall from its severe weight.
- "The Last Temptation of Homer"
- Hans was knocked out at the power convention
- "Bart of Darkness"
- Hans raises his glasses on a hot day, the sun's beam magnifies through the lenses and sets him on fire.
- "Lisa's Rival"
- Homer sees that Hans has crashed a truck of sugar. Sending him to phone to call for help, Homer steals the sugar.
- "Itchy & Scratchy Land"
- When chaos breaks out at Itchy & Scratchy Land, Marge says they should have gone to the bird sanctuary. However, the sanctuary is even more chaotic. Hans is in a phone booth (being attacked by birds a la the Hitchcock film), asking for a large amount of bird seed.
- "Lisa on Ice"
- Hans falls over at the peewee hockey match
- "A Star is Burns"
- To Make money, films comedic video in which he is hit in the groin by a football
- "The Springfield Connection"
- Seen at Springfield prison, about to be sent to the electric chair.
- "Mother Simpson"
- He is in a coffin at the graveyard, not wanting to cause a fuss.
- "Team Homer"
- Asking Burns for new bristles for his broom, Burns believes he is the leprechaun and proceeds to get his "lucky charms" by drilling into his head.
- "My Sister, My Sitter"
- Hans is in the car which is stuck in the wall of Planet Hype.
- "Dumbbell Indemnity"
- In prison, Homer knocks him out with a book titled "How To Tunnel Out of Prison".
- "Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?"
- Hans runs a stall called "Moleman's Gruel". When Lisa tell Homer that the poisoned éclair is low fat, Homer throws it into Hans' gruel, which explodes.
- "Children of a Lesser Clod"
- When Marge goes to identify a body at the morgue, she finds that it is Hans. He is alive as well.
- "Simpsons Tall Tales"
- Lisa (as Connie Appleseed) believes a tree is calling to her. However, it was actually Hans Moleman, drowning in quicksand.
- "The Parent Rap"
- Near the end of the episode, as the Simpsons are driving away from the courthouse (when Bart was ultimately dismissed from the accusation against him), Homer accidentally drives over Hans when stopping by a traffic light. Homer then drives away pretending that nothing happened.
- "'Tis the Fifteenth Season"
- The townspeople see a bright star in the sky and believe it is a miracle. In actual fact, Hans is trapped in the snow and it was a flare. Some wolves come up behind him, but Hans mistakenly believes they are rescue dogs.
- "Treehouse of Horror XV"
- After a head injury, Ned Flanders gains the ability to foresee the death of anyone he touches. He catches Hans after Hans falls from some power-lines (having been tossed there by bullies), foresees Hans being eaten by alligators and drops him in horror, accidentally into an open manhole where he is eaten by alligators.
Miscellaneous
 | This article contains a list of miscellaneous information. Please relocate any relevant information into other sections or articles. |
When Homer hired cult deprogrammers to return Bart to him, they kidnapped Hans by mistake. He was soon "deprogrammed" and returned to Homer and Marge: "Mom, Dad, I missed you. Cowabunga, dudes!" After Marge explains to Homer it is not Bart, Homer, after showering him with attention and affection, asks if they can keep him anyway, exclaiming "It's like kissing a peanut!"
In the episode "22 Short Films about Springfield", Hans is locked inside the Kwik-E-Mart for four minutes while Apu dashes out to attend a party. On Apu's return, Hans chides him: "You took four minutes of my life and I want them back." However, he walks away in resignation when he notes that he would only waste them anyway.
He once entered a short film in the Springfield Film Festival called "Man Getting Hit By Football." The highlight of this film (in fact, the only scene) is reminiscent of the "Funniest Videos" television shows: Hans awaits a passed football, but he misses the catch, the ball hits him in the crotch, he falls to the ground in pain. George C. Scott later won (within the fictional "Simpsons Universe") an Oscar for playing the role in a remake of the film.
In one episode in which Homer attempts suicide but falls down a manhole, we see a brief glimpse of an entire race of mole people in an intricately decorated cave. Hans Moleman, apparently the leader and dressed in ceremonial garb, is at the controls of an earthquake machine. This is undeniably a one-off joke, and is a reference to the very first issue of Fantastic Four, in which the four battled "The Mole Man" who also had similar machines. In a Treehouse of Horror XVI, a witch who transformed everyone into the Halloween costumes that they were wearing turned Hans Moleman into a mole, even though he wasn't wearing a costume. In the final episode of season 17, Hans Moleman was revealed to have either a girlfriend or a wife, as they kiss in front of the Isotopes Kiss Cam. She looks just like a female version of Hans.
Matt Groening has claimed that Hans Moleman was inspired by Tex Avery's Droopy Dog, who shares many of Moleman's deadpan and unassuming mannerisms.
In the episode "The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her Homer", Metallica claims that Hans is a "real fan," as he "used to sleep with Lars's grandmother."
Originally Hans Moleman was animated as African American.