Misplaced Pages

:Helping suicidal individuals - Misplaced Pages

Article snapshot taken from Wikipedia with creative commons attribution-sharealike license. Give it a read and then ask your questions in the chat. We can research this topic together.

This is an old revision of this page, as edited by RenamedUser2 (talk | contribs) at 14:19, 15 April 2007 (Splitting old Misplaced Pages:Responding to suicidal individuals into two proposals.). The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

Revision as of 14:19, 15 April 2007 by RenamedUser2 (talk | contribs) (Splitting old Misplaced Pages:Responding to suicidal individuals into two proposals.)(diff) ← Previous revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
The following is a proposed Misplaced Pages policy, guideline, or process. The proposal may still be in development, under discussion, or in the process of gathering consensus for adoption.Shortcuts
This page in a nutshell: Misplaced Pages is not a counseling service. Respond to suicidal individuals by pointing them towards one of the listed crisis lines/websites. Do not ridicule or make personal attacks on anyone.

Misplaced Pages is a place where anybody can search for information or find answers to their questions. It aims to be, and is seen by most people as, a civilized and welcoming community. In serving the public, Misplaced Pages inevitably attracts some people who feel that there is no one to turn to for emotional support, and so they ask for help from total strangers. Some of these people are considering harming themselves, and responding inappropriately to these people could have tragic consequences. However, as an online encyclopedia staffed by untrained editors, Misplaced Pages can never provide the expert help these people need. The most we can hope to do is to point them towards a source of help. This policy covers the proper response to a message on any talk page or Reference Desk which seeks or responds to help for Suicidal ideation.

Misplaced Pages is not a counseling service

Misplaced Pages cannot provide the expert help, but we can do our best to be a friend to a suicidal person. If you feel unable to help, however, you can recommend experienced help such as a suicide hotline instead. See the list below. When you do this, be careful not to make your suggestion sound like a rejection. Say, "I think the staff of a hotline could help you better than I could," not, "I'm not going to talk to you, but you can call a suicide hotline." You might also add that some suicide help groups, such as the Samaritans, do keep all communications relating to suicide confidential, in case this is a concern for the person.

Remember that suicidal people are often unlikely to use suicide hotlines. In one study, only 5% of suicides had been in contact with a hotline. Nearly half the calls hotlines get are pranks. Of the other half, many are depressed people wanting someone to talk to, but only a small fraction are actually suicidal. If you are a friend of the suicidal person, remember that the person might prefer talking to you.

Basics of responding to suicidal people

If you are interested in what is best for the person, it is recommended that you do your best to be a good listener. While suicide may have statistical trends, it is really something that can only be understood individually.

"When we learn that the most densely populated parts of the world have the highest incidence of suicide, and that suicides cluster in certain months of the year, do we thereby learn a single adequate, explanatory motive? No, we learn only that the phenomenon of suicide is also subject to the laws of great numbers, and that it is related to other social phenomena. Suicide can be understood only individually, even if it has social preconditions and social consequences." — Alfred Adler, psychoanalyst

In the beginning, at least, it is recommended that you ask generic questions. Strive to avoid making assumptions. If your assumptions are incorrect, this may encourage the person's belief that they are misunderstood, and make them feel like they aren't being listened to.

Do not press the person to answer questions they are uncomfortable with. Respect their boundaries. In some cases, lack of respect for privacy may be part of the reason they are depressed in the first place. If they say they don't want to talk about something, don't talk about it.

While you should try to avoid making assumptions, it is likely that the reason the individual is considering death boils down to one simple reason: wanting to avoid pain. By pain, we mean generic pain - physical, emotional, whatever. If the person can find a way to avoid pain without killing him or her self, this will most likely remove the motivation for wanting to end their life.

Before you get to the point of making suggestions for alternatives to suicide, you should do your best to get to know the person's unique situation and feelings. Once you do, however, be careful not to be limited simply by what you think the person should do. Offer as wide a range of possibilities as you can think of.

Here is a college councellor's description of a conversation with a student who was very religious, single, pregnant, and suicidal:

"I did several things. For one, I took out a single sheet of paper and began to "widen her blinders." Our conversation went something on these general lines: "Now, let's see: You could have an abortion here locally." ("I couldn't do that.") ...."You could go away and have an abortion." ("I couldn't do that.") "You could bring the baby to term and keep the baby." ("I couldn't do that.") "You could have the baby and adopt it out." ("I couldn't do that.") "We could get in touch with the young man involved." ("I couldn't do that.") "We could involve the help of your parents." ("I couldn't do that.") "You can always commit suicide, but there is obviously no need to do that today." (No response.) "Now, let's look at this list and rank them in order of your preference, keeping in mind that none of them is perfect.

"The very making of this list, my non-hortatory and non-judgmental approach, had already had a calming influence on her. Within a few minutes her lethality had begun to de-escalate. She actually ranked the list, commenting negatively on each item. What was of critical importance was that suicide was now no longer first or second. We were then simply "haggling" about life---a perfectly viable solution."
— from Shneidman's Definition of Suicide

Also see the section entitled "What skills are useful to be a volunteer?" on this page of the Samaritan website.

How NOT to respond to a suicide message

When responding to a message which seeks help for a suicidal problem, never revert their post under the assumption that it is trolling — not even if there is very good evidence that this is the case (i.e. the editor is a repeat offender). Even if they have posted similar statements or threats in the past, those may be legitimate cries for help. They may be testing the water to see if anyone cares about them. Or, they may have been trolling in the past but are genuine on this occasion. Undoubtedly, some suicide posts are merely trolling; however, because of the seriousness of the issue, it is important to always assume that the editor is genuinely suicidal.

It is equally important that Misplaced Pages editors never respond to a suicidal message with personal attacks or humor. People who are considering suicide often feel that they are isolated from society and that there is no one who cares about them. Responding in an aggressive way will almost certainly increase the person's feeling of isolation. Responding with humor, no matter how well intended (eg. as a way of lightening their mood), may well have a similarly disastrous effect. This may be a life-and-death situation for them, not one where levity or humor is an appropriate response.

Dealing with improper responses from other editors to a suicide message

Humorous or derisive posts written by other editors in response to a suicidal message must be treated as an especially severe infraction, given the seriousness of the subject. Any improper response to a “cry for help” should be immediately reverted. The offending editor should then be given a {{subst:uw-chat3}} or {{subst:uw-npa3}} template; and an attached message asking the editor to read this page so that they will know how to properly handle similar situations in the future.

List of crisis hotlines

In the event of a suicide crisis anywhere on Misplaced Pages, you can recommend the suicidal individual seek help from the following free resources. (Note that not all are international.) Some will keep confidentiality with individuals seeking help, others will not and will go so far as to trace calls from someone they believe is about to kill him or herself. If you contact one of these groups and this is important to you, ask first. The Samaritans, a British group, do keep all matters relating to suicide confidential.

Remember that suicidal people are often unlikely to use suicide hotlines. In one study, only 5% of suicides had been in contact with a hotline. Nearly half the calls hotlines get are pranks. Of the other half, many are depressed people wanting someone to talk to, but only a small fraction are actually suicidal. If you are a friend of the suicidal person, remember that the person might prefer talking to you.

International

North America

United Kingdom

Australia

See also

Category: