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Cal Robertson

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Cal Robertson is an American actor and filmmaker. His most memorable performance was that of teenage murderer Cal Gabriel in Zero Day. He is a member of the band The Joyful Beginners.


feelings regarding abortion

'i'm not really pro or anti abortion. people shouldn't fucking well have sex in the first place. it's well evil. i don't approve of sex', said andre.


columbine films, tv series and programmes

'i've watched zero hour:massacre at columbine on youtube'. said andre. 'it's well good. my favourite bit is the library massacre. it's just well good. i've also seen the final report which is also well dark and angsty and klebold. i recommend them. also, bowling for colmbine is well e and d. oh, no doubt that offends someone or they're evil or something? well let me tell you something, people who fucking go to fucking timepiece are fucking evil. they should fucking well be burnt with a red hot poker'.

'and then people fucking wonder why the columbine bloodbath happened. jesus, i don't blame them. they fucking deserve a medal. all those horrible little jocks and preps and christians. they're all well evil and deserve to be shot. r.i.p eric and dylan, that's all i can say', said andre in a recent interview.


controversy

recently, andre said that he was 'tired of hearing about cassie and rachel and all the horrible little 'victims' of columbine (christian or not), and that people should focus on the heroes and true victims of columbine, eric harris and dylan klebold'. 'they just well suffered at school', he said. 'just cause they were well angsty and goth and klebold


janae

andre was asked his opinions on janae in a recent interview.

'firstly', said andre, 'isn't janae like 15? why does everyone act like it's alright for her to go out with a 25 yr old man? oh no, everyone condones that, don't they?, that's fine, but everyone hates and judges harris and klebold for the west staircase shooting. well, those people deserved to die, because they weren't e and d, and so does janae. i mean, janae isn't exactly very e and d, is she? she's as dull as ditchwater. i mean, why does she act like she's about 35? i mean, it's bad enough having to look after your own child (you should just have an abortion, or preferably not have sex in the first place) but who wants to look after someone else's horrible little brat, especially at that age? they're well annoying, and you can't be e and d until you're 12 and in the 4th form, so children are of no use to the world at all. i can't imagine e and d liking kids', laughed andre.

'janae is not very angsty and klebold and dark and goth and malcontent, is she?', said andre. 'i mean, i can't exactly imagine her watching 'hitman for hire or that other classic harris and klebold video on youtube. who wants to be stupidly mature like that? how boring. why doesn't she be more klebold. be more klebold'.

'you know, maybe the scriptwriter should make the other characters behave a bit more realistiacally towards janae. i mean, i know the scriptwriter probably doesn't have a degree in psychology, but there's no excuse. janae has behaved like a slut. fucking a 25 yr old man, and no doubt we're all meant to think that's fine. well, it's not. the irony is unbelievable considering how hard everyone comes down on eric and dylan for the high school massacre, (which the 'victims' deserved). no doubt janae would say, 'ohohohohh, that's really horrible ohohoohoh', and be on the 'victims' side, but e and d individuals thankfully know better'.

'evil', sid andre. 'pure evil'.

'when is zero day going to fucking get here?', exploded andre. 'i ordered it a week and two days ago now. not good enough'.

'it's just really killing time until zero day gets here'.


'the doctor said i was very cynical. tell me something i don't fucking know'.


'i'm well acerbic and caustic. it's well klebold, you see', said andre.


issues regarding sixth form taking assembly at maynards

'i'm not fucking doing it', said andre. 'i mean, it's not very klebold, is it? why don't they take into account that you might be dark and angsty and klebold and have social anxiety? so i'm sorry, but i'm not doing it. and also, 'taking part' and 'joining in' and all that other bullshit isn't very e and d, so the answer's 'no.

'i prefer to be dark and klebold and sullen and withdrawn and angsty and pouting looking stunning in the corner, like klebold'.


school service

'i'm not turning up', said andre. 'hahahaha'.

'i'm a rockstar'.

'i'm a fucking star', he laughed.

Filmography

External links

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