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Stop press: It is reported from London, that at 21.49 this evening Lady Catherine de Burgh passed peacefully away. Of late. Her Ladyship had been in fine form, and was seem walking in Hyde Park with her fourteen Pekingese only last week. Rumours of a romance with the owner of Misplaced Pages had been circulating London society for some days, and her Ladyship's butler reported that only this morning The crown jewellers had attended on her Ladyship for a final fitting. Talk of a rift between Her Ladyship and the Misplaced Pages Arbcom and their tame Checkusers was though to be unfounded when her Ladyship received a huge box of chocolates from them them only hours before her death. In fact Her Ladyships's final act, in this world, was to sample one of the Arbcom's chocolate creams. It is reported that shortly before her death her Ladyship emailed her famous secrets to a friend, in an attachment only to be opened in the event of her untimely death.
Mr Vintagekits, a respected Wikipedian and close friend, will recite the first "Missa pro defunctis" this evening. The funeral will take place privately at Westminster Abbey, The Archbishop of Canterbury, the Cardinal Murphy-O'Connor and the Chief Rabbi will be robed and in the sanctuary. Interment will take place in the Scrotum vault. Further arrangement will be announced. Her Majesty the Queen and the Prime Minister have been informed.
"Gloria Patri, et Filio, et Spiritui Sancto. Sicut erat in principio, et nunc, et semper, et in saecula saeculorum. Mortem autem crucis. Amen. "
Gaude virgo Katerina,
Quam refulsit lux divina
Ter quaternis noctibus.
Gaude, quod tua doctrina
Philosophos a ruina
Traxit et erroribus.