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"The List" is episode 1114 (#167) of Comedy Central's South Park, and was the Season 11 finale. It originally aired on November 14, 2007.

Plot

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The boys discover that the girls in their class have made a list of them, ordered by cuteness. The boys, after two attempts, eventually succeed in stealing the list and post it on the wall of the Boys' Bathroom (where the girls cannot get it back) and discover the list is as follows:

1. Clyde
2. Token
3. Stan
4. Bradley
5. Jason
6. Leroy
7. Kenny
8. Tweek
9. Kevin
10. Jimmy
11. Butters
12. Craig
13. Timmy
14. Francis
15. Cartman
16. Kyle

Kyle's spirits plummet after this discovery, especially as he's ranked uglier than his nemesis, Cartman. Meanwhile, Clyde's ego inflates dramatically and he starts flirting with many girls at school. Unlike Cartman and Butters (whose ego has also inflated and has inexplicably become mean to Kyle), who are both ranked very low on the list, he does not mock Kyle and kindly reassures him that Abraham Lincoln, who was apparently ugly, accomplished so much. He also berates Butters when he makes fun of him. However, Kyle, in an act of depression, starts hanging out with the ugly kids in the school. He gets the idea from a boy named Jamal to burn the school down. He is visited by the Ghost of Abraham Lincoln, who shows him that ugliness is a gift, not a curse, as one who is ugly has nothing handed to them and must earn it themselves and discover it useful when they turn 40 while those who are attractive will be handed everything and thus will develop no redeeming character. Apparently ignoring this advice, Kyle decides to go ahead with his plans of arson, as he cannot wait as long as 31 years for happiness.

Meanwhile, Stan (who was ranked third on the list) watches Kyle's behavior with increasing unease. Eventually, he asks his ex-girlfriend, Wendy (whom he is no longer speaking to) why Kyle was voted ugliest. Wendy agrees that it seems like a wrong decision, as she voted Cartman ugliest. Upon bringing the case to her list-making society, which is similar to the United States Congress, it is decided that the list would be re-opened if a good reason to do so is found. Upon inspection of the list ballots, they discover Clyde's votes put him in the bottom five of the list, and visit Wendy's friend, Rebbecca, to discuss the matter. However, Rebbecca warns Wendy that she may discover a secret she "couldn't handle." Suspicious, Wendy explains to her List Committee that Rebbecca may have tampered with the list and that this is a reason the list should be re-made. However, the girls quickly reveal the plot that Rebbecca, themselves and Bebe, the head of the Committee are in on - Clyde's father owns a local shoe-store, and they wanted to make Clyde popular to justify dating him and getting free shoes. In order to do this, they hid the real list and forged a new one (the exact list the boys stole).

Wendy, shocked and outraged that the Committee would abuse their power, steals the real list from them and she and Stan run off to find Kyle, who is about to set the school alight, while cursing God. They explain the truth to him, but then Bebe shows up and holds them at gunpoint, while admitting that Kyle was a "casualty" of their plot, as moving Clyde necessitated in moving other boys because Clyde was voted in the bottom five. However, Wendy has called the police, who arrive almost at once. Bebe is shocked, which Wendy takes advantage of to wrestle the gun from her. However, a shot goes off, flies all the way across town and kills Kenny as he eats pop tarts at home. Bebe is arrested and taken to prison.

Kyle, however, refuses to take a look at the real list, fearing an inflated ego that Abraham Lincoln's ghost warned him about. Instead, he uses some of his flammable liquid to burn it. Wendy admits to Stan that she has enjoyed hanging out with him and feels that he has changed a lot since their breakup. In a near-exact copy of Cartman Gets an Anal Probe's climax scene (which signaled the beginning of their original relationship), Wendy's attempt to kiss him is interrupted when he vomits in her face (He vomits on her much more than the other times), an old running gag that tied into their original relationship. This signals their reconciliation.

The ugly kids

The Ugly Kids are background student characters who premiered in this episode. Due to their appearances and voices being different, they are forbidden to sit with the other children in the school and are forced to sit together at one table at lunchtime. Although Timmy and Jimmy have a similar differences, neither of them are considered to be ugly kids.

Jamal

He has a slightly squashed face, black hair and big ears. He speaks with a speech sound disorder, so when he says that he wants to "burn the school down, down to the ground," the words "down" and "ground" sound similar.

The Pickle Kid

He has an overly large forehead similar to Timmy's. His favorite food is pickles, often asking to eat other students' pickles. He chews his food in a slowly, moving his jaw in a circular motion, unlike the other characters who chew with chomping motions. He has a low and raspy voice that has a minor nasal quality.

Small-eyed kid

She has long, brown hair and glasses that make her eyes seem huge. Without her glasses, however, she has two tiny dots for eyes.

High-mouthed girl

She has a mouth that is incredibly high up on her face (though not above her nose) and long blond hair tied up into a ponytail. She has an unusually deep voice and she is obese.

Askew-faced kid

He is a brown haired boy with a face that's askew and is the tallest of the ugly kids.

New and temporary members

Kyle Broflovski:

Kyle at one point was forced to sit with the other, already-deemed ugly children at lunchtime, and hang out with them at recess.

Eric Cartman:

After it was revealed that the ugliest boy was actually Cartman, he was then condemned to sit with the ugly kids.

References

1. Episode guide. South Park Studios. Retrieved on 2007-11-12.
2. Comedy Central press release

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• South Park episodes: Season 11
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