Paraphilic infantilism

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See "Infantilism" for other uses of the term

For sexual feelings experienced during childhood, see Child sexuality

Paraphilic infantilism is a paraphilia characterized by the desire to wear diapers and/or be treated as an infant or toddler. One who engages in infantilistic play is known as an adult baby (AB). About one in three adult babies is also a diaper lover (DL), so they are collectively known as AB/DLs. The majority of infantilists are heterosexual males.

Paraphilic infantilism and diaper fetishes differ in self-image and the focus of attention. They can coexist in individuals, however, and they have some similarities. Neither includes a sexual preference for children. There is no singular, archetypical infantilism, but a range. Some fantasize about being free of guilt, responsibility, or control, whereas others might not. Some act indistinguishably from a baby at times, while others practice in a way that would be unnoticed by passers by on the street. The desires and tastes of infantilists vary around common themes of diapers and babyhood.

Paraphilic infantilism contrasted with diaper fetishes

One way to describe paraphilic infantilism is to contrast it with a diaper fetish, and this contrast is most clear in fantasies. Although there is no typical AB/DL fantasy, they often fall within two extremes. One extreme involves the fantasy of being an infant or small child; adorable, sexually innocent, and powerless. The infant fantasy might involve diapers, baby clothes, and toys to help define the infant's role. In the end, the infant might drift off to sleep in a soft crib. The other extreme is the erotic lover. The lover fantasy would focus on diapers as fetish items, sexually charged objects and might also end in orgasm and ejaculation.

Paraphilic infantilism or fetishism might be diagnosed, depending on the focus. The urges and fantasies caused by diaper fetishes focus on the diapers themselves, while infantilism focuses on becoming a baby.

In practice, the distinction between the two is much narrower; both involve diapers and adults. Those who try to act out the infant fantasy or similar ones are called Adult Babies (ABs). This may involve adult sized diapers and baby clothes, etc. If their partner is willing, they may engage in mother/baby roleplay. The adult baby may choose not to engage in sex while they are in the baby role, since it isn't babylike. In contrast, diaper fetishes are much more practical. They may involve adding diapers to otherwise ordinary sexual activities. Those who do are called Diaper Lovers (DLs). Neither are adult baby practices exclusive to paraphilic infantilists, nor diaper lover practices exclusive to diaper fetishists. Many AB/DLs describe themselves as 'mostly AB' or 'mostly DL,' based on which they engage in more frequently. Those with urophilia and coprophilia may enjoy similar practices.

To quickly summarize the theoretical differences, adult babies might have paraphilic infantilism, their interests are self-image or alter-ego focused, and might refrain from sexual activities during adult baby play. In contrast, diaper lovers might have a diaper fetish, their interests are directed at a sexual fetish object, and don't inherently involve roleplay. In practice, the differences among AB/DLs are much less well-defined

Other contrasts

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Pedophilia

Confusing infantilism with pedophilia is a common misunderstanding. Pedophilia is a sexual preference for pre-pubescent children. In contrast, infantilists have a desire to be infants themselves, and those with a diaper fetish have a sexual interest in diapers. Generally, they have ordinary heterosexual or homosexual sexual experiences otherwise. Inside the AB/DL communities, a sharp distinction is observed. Most AB/DL organizations will expel child molesters.

Other infantilisms

'Paraphilic infantilism' is usually shortened to 'infantilism.' This can lead to some misunderstandings, since 'infantilism' can also mean 'lacking development.' Mental retardation involves never having achieved an average maturity, in contrast to adult babies, who actively set their maturity aside. In turn, psychosexual infantilism, a term coined by Freud, referred to those who haven't "matured" through the psychosexual stages into heterosexuality. Psychosexual infantilism includes paraphilic infantilism as well as other paraphilias and sexual orientations. Finally, regression is a broad term with many meanings. Adult babies regress, but those who regress aren't necessarily adult babies.

Practical or voluntary use

Those who wear diapers because of incontinence are probably not AB/DLs. While they may wear and use diapers, they aren’t necessarily doing it to express an alternate self-image or indulge a fetish. This also applies to those who use diapers for practical reasons, such as astronauts and scuba divers. Finally, there are some who start wearing diapers as a "new kink."

There are many that wear diapers but are not paraphilic infantilists or diaper fetishists in the strictest sense. Their motivations and underlying mechanisms are different. However, those who share AB/DL interests and practices are generally welcome in the communities, and may sometimes be counted as AB/DLs.

Anaclitism

Diaper fetishes are sometimes mentioned as an example of anaclitism, a desire for things one was exposed to in infancy. Anaclitism is a more general term in one way, as the objects don't necessarily have to be infantile, just things that one would have been exposed to during infancy. However, it is more narrow in another way: It implies that the conditions started in infancy. While anaclitism's definition fit into Freud's theories well, it hasn't been developed or supported empirically.

Sissy babies, cross-dressing

A sissy baby is a male AB/DL who mixes gender play with infantilism. This cross-dressing might involve stereotypical or exaggerated "little girl" clothing, such as frilly panties or dresses. Sissies are not necessarily transsexual in that, while some might be expressing an alter ego that is a baby girl, they might not wish to be an adult woman at other times. Alternatively, some transgender people simply participate in ageplay as their gender identity as a logical extension of their transgender life.

Paraphilic Infantilism in Medicine

Most AB/DLs do not seek psychotherapy. As a result, many published cases are only tangentially related to infantilism and diaper fetishism and should not be confused with the basic paraphilias. In one published case of extrapolating from too small a sample size, a desire similar to paraphilic infantilism was described as most often occurring in women.

Future extrapolations might not be much more accurate. The American Psychiatric Association included significant distress or impairment for a period of over six months among the diagnostic criteria for paraphilic infantilism. This does not mean that all AB/DLs will suffer distress or impairment, but that those who don't will be excluded from the APA's study samples.

Origins

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Unfortunately, to date there are no known broad-based scientific studies that have yet been made of the most probable causes, incidence and general impact of paraphilic infantilism on society at large. This may be due to both the relative rarity of the condition, and also to the fact that few paraphilic infantilists appear to seek professional mental health counseling, and even fewer appear to require any type of pro-active mental health intervention in dealing with their condition. The vast majority of paraphilic infantilists appear to lead otherwise fairly normal and otherwise unremarkable existences. Therefore it becomes quite difficult to make any conclusive statements regarding the most common origins of paraphilic infantilism. Instead, at this time, one must rely primarily on anecdotal evidence of some of the probable origins of paraphilic infantilism.

Paraphilic infantilists have speculated on a number of possible causes for their paraphilic infantilism. Many report being unaware of any specific causes for their AB/DL nature. Some AB/DLs describe incidents from their early childhoods that demonstrate that the inclination has been with them for a long time. Others only discover the inclination later on in their adult lives.

Negative childhood incidents

Some paraphilic infantilists have reported specific incidents which occurred during childhood that they believe may have caused them to mentally associate diapers with their own sexuality. Others have reported that certain types of discipline dealt out by their parents in early childhood caused them to associate diapers with safety and security, and conversely, their absence with trauma and fear. Examples of various experiences that have been reported by paraphilic infantilists include sexual abuse, conflicted or excessively heavy-handed toilet training, or the loss of a parent at a critical point of development. A number of AB/DL's also report developmental delays in their bladder and/or bowel training, such as late bedwetting. What ever the cause, by the age of 8, the majority of paraphilic infantilists report having already discovered their unusual thought patterns associated with diapers. This is consistent with the theory of the subconscious lovemap which is normally formed by the age of 8.

Relief from stress

Relief from stress is often given by AB/DLs as an explanation for their desires. Acting on these desires can be quite relaxing in the short term. However, given how difficult and troubling these desires can be, relief from stress might be as much a justification as an explanation. For example, the AB/DL might be in the superficially carefree position of having a 'mommy' or 'daddy' looking after their every need, such as diaper changes, feeding, and bathing. However, the AB/DL will need to overcome the difficulty of establishing the relationship, and be careful to keep the relationship from being short-lived due to imbalance.

Gender association

Some paraphilic infantilists report that they associate the infantile state with a sense of "softness" and with aspects of life normally seen as more feminine. This can add a regressive aspect to a transgendered male, resulting in a 'sissy' AB/DL.

Sex Ratio

There is a strong tendency for AB/DLs to be male. Estimates range from 10 to 20 males per female AB/DL.

Practices

Aside from the many things that AB/DLs would like to do, but cannot, there is an extensive list of practices that they might actually engage in. Some common elements and practices are listed here.

Diaper usage

A central practice to AB/DL is wearing a diaper. When wearing diapers, many AB/DLs like to urinate in them, and a smaller number defecate in them. Others do not because they find such practices disgusting, do not enjoy it, do not want to go through the cleanup afterward, or wouldn't be able to without being obvious. Some AB/DLs have difficulty wetting their diapers when they want to, as the result of overtrained bladders or paruresis. Some AB/DLs need to retrain to overcome this. Some others go a step further, and attempt to un-potty-train themselves.

A common compromise between wanting to wear diapers and needing to go about daily life is to wear diapers under normal clothing. When adult babies do so, it is in their everyday mindset, as opposed to an infantile one. A few adult babies wear diapers all the time, and may seek to develop urinary incontinence. The level of enjoyment in wearing diapers all the time is mixed, and it may have lasting effects; some adult babies have found that the enjoyment diminishes rapidly when the need to wear diapers is always present. Other AB/DLs enjoy wearing diapers intermittently more than they would enjoy wearing them all the time.

Paraphernalia

While the tastes and collections of individual ABs differ, some items that might be involved include diapers, onesies, blanket sleepers, cribs, playpens, plastic pants, high chairs, baby bottles, pacifiers, baby powder, baby lotion, dollies, and stuffed animals.

References

^ Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text-Revised. Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, pg 572-573.
Watson, J. (2005, June 9). Baby Man, Phoenix New Times
^ Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text Revision, 2000 Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, pp 568
^ Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text-Revised. Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, pg 569-570.
Baumeister, Roy F. (1989). Masochism and Self, Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. pg 159. ISBN 0-8058-0486-2.
Thomas John Speaker, Psychosexual Infantilism in Adults: The Eroticization of Regression. Columbia Pacific University. pg 80. Available from: DPF, Sausalito, CA 94965.
Stekel, W. (1952). Patterns of Psychosexual Infantilism. Washington Square Press., pg 143, ISBN 0-87140-840-6
Arndt, William B., Jr. (1991). Gender Disorders and the Paraphilias, International Universities Press, pg 394, ISBN 0-8236-2150-2.
International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems, tenth edition, Sect. F65.4
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition. Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, Fourth Edition, Pg. 527
Tistan Taormino, Still in Diapers Retrieved 8 May 2007 from http://www.villagevoice.com/people/0233,taormino,37378,24.html
Stekel, W. (1952). Patterns of Psychosexual Infantilism. Washington Square Press., pg 144, ISBN 0-87140-840-6
Pate J.E., Gabbard G.O. (2003). Adult baby syndrome Am J Psychiatry 160:1932–1936, also available as a PDF
Pandita-Gunawardena, R. (1990). Paraphilic Infantilism, A Rare Case of Fetishistic Behaviour. British Journal of Psychiatry. 157, 767-770
Mitchell, W. (1954) Epilepsy with Fetishism Relieved by Temporal Lobectomy. Lancet. Vol. II, pp. 626-630
Croarkin, P., Nam, T., Waldrep, D. (November 2004). Comment on Adult Baby Syndrome. Am J Psychiatry 161:2141
Allen, C. (1969) A Textbook of Psychosexual Disorders. Oxford Medical Publications, pg 290, ISBN 0192644149
Money, John (1986). Love Maps - Clinical Concepts of Sexual/Erotic Health and Pathology, Paraphilia, and Gender Transpostition in Childhood, Adolescence, and Maturity. New York: Prometheus Books. ISBN 0-8290-1589-2.
Thomas John Speaker, Psychosexual Infantilism in Adults: The Eroticization of Regression. Columbia Pacific University. pg 81. Available from: DPF, Sausalito, CA 94965.

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