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Revision as of 22:24, 26 August 2012 by 108.28.53.169 (talk)(diff) ← Previous revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff) For other uses, see Tough love (disambiguation).Tough love is an expression used when someone treats another person harshly or sternly with the intent to help them in the long run. The phrase was evidently coined by Bill Milliken when he wrote the book Tough Love in 1968 and has been used by numerous authors since then.
In most uses, there must be some actual romantic love or feeling of romantic affection behind the harsh or stern treatment to be defined as tough love. For example, genuinely concerned parents refusing to support their drug-addicted child financially until he or she enters drug rehabilitation would be said to be practicing tough love. Athletic coaches who maintain strict rules and highly demanding training regimens, but who care about their players, could also be said to be practicing tough love.
"Tough love" boot camps for teenagers have been described as child abuse, and the National Institutes of Health noted that "get tough treatments do not work and there is some evidence that they may make the problem worse".
There is evidence to suggest that what the British call tough love can be beneficial in the development of preferred character trait in children up to five years old. However, the British definition used by these researchers is more similar to the concept of "authoritative" parenting, whereas American ideas about tough love are closer to the notion of "authoritarian" parenting, which has been linked with negative outcomes in other research.
Tough Love may not be limited to age groups or specific character or physical incidents. References below site enabling which include teen through adult actions. A superior at work could be practicing "tough love" when other means of training does not coalesce and the employee has value and purpose. A parent who sees a child at any age who is disassociated with the family may be a candidate for "tough love".
The basis for the action is founded in a deep love for one another. In some instance this love is betrayed or compromised and one party, still deeply loving of the other, simply cannot enable the harmful or hurtful relationship. It is always the deep responsibility of the person who administers "tough love" to assure that this is not a matter of vengefulness or spite. Tough Love thus becomes the most fulfilling and honest example of a human value rather than the inhumanity of taking or winning at all costs.
See also
References
- Vine, Sarah. Tough love or TLC?, The Times, 31 August 2007.
- Jardine, Cassandra. "The ultimate betrayal or just tough love?", Daily Telegraph, 4 March 2009.
- Szalavitz, Maia. "The Trouble With Tough Love", Washington Post, 28 January 2006.
- 2004 Youth Violence Prevention, National Institute of Health.
- "Tough love 'is good for children'", BBC News, 8 November 2009.