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Comments
Okay, I'll do a review for this article to see what needs to be done.
Infobox
The cover for the deluxe edition is exactly alike the original cover and should be removed because it does not comply with fair use. Covers of other editions need to be drastically different and even though, it requires an explanation of why it can be used.
Add the language parameter and put ]
Lead
References are not required on the lead section as they referenced in the body of the article.
Even though it says on the source that it peaked on #7 on the Tropical Songs chart, it's actually referring to the single "La Vida Es Asi". You see this when you click on the week it charted.
"It was nominated for a Latin Grammy for the Best Urban Music Album at the 2011 Latin Grammy Awards, also earned her two more nominatations at the 2011 Latin Billboard Awards." How about "It received a Latin Grammy nomination for the Best Urban Music Album at the 2011 Latin Grammy Awards, as well as two nominatations at the 2011 Latin Billboard Awards."
Make sure to italicize every instance of Billboard when you are using one of its charts. Example: Billboard Hot Latin Songs chart.
Dime shouldn't be in the infobox since it was to promote her live album, not Drama Queen. It would be better mention Dime as a song added to the deluxe edition and explain that she previously recorded it for her live album.
Background
Only bold the album name in the lead.
This section has no references. Example: "The track "I Do" was originally to feature American R&B recording artist Beyoncé Knowles." This really needs a source as it may be removed.
"Ivy Queen's future project Musa (album) is set to be released by Machete Music in June 2012." This feels out of place. Since the album deals with what happened at the time of the album released, I don't think this is should be in there.
"The second single "Amor Puro" was released to iTunes on May 19, 2010 and the music video was shot between May and July in Florida and premiered on VEVO on November 30, 2010." Reference the video on Vevo's page.
Have the background describe what happened between the time her previous album was released to what led to the recording of the album.
Recording and Production
Section should be renamed to "Recording and production"
Again, no need to bold the album more than once.
This section also has no sources. Every section needs to be referenced.
Commercial release
Albums
First talk about how it ranked on the Billboard 200 chart.
Have different sentences for the different charts. First one sentence to talk about how it ranked on the Billboard Latin albums chart and another on how it ranked on the Billboard Rap Albums chart.
I noticed you referenced the Latin Grammy nomination, but you did not reference the Billboard Latin music awards.
Singles
"The second single "Amor Puro" was released to iTunes on May 19, 2010 and the music video was shot between May and July in Florida and premiered on VEVO on November 30, 2010." Reuse the reference the to the video and add that it did not ranked on any charts.
Not only is the quote way too long, but it would violate WP:COPYVIO. Plus it's not referenced. What should be done is to summarize the reviewer's opinion of the album. Explain what he liked and didn't liked about the album. For example: "David Jeffries of Allmusic gave the album a 3.5 out of 5 stars..." then you would explain the pros and cons of the album and use minimal quotes.
Try to see if any other reviews exist. I know they're hard to find since Latin albums do not get as much attention.
Personnel
Use columns so that readers don't have to be scrolling down. I'll take care of this part.
References
Every reference needs to have the title of the article. In the event that a link should no longer work, it makes it hard to verify the information. Also include the date the article was published (if it's there), the author's name (if listed), the work and the publisher, and the accessdate (the date that you found the information). If you need, I suggest using the Cite web as it helps you fill out the information
AVOID SHOUTING titles of web pages such as on footnote 8.
Misc
This is optional, but I think the album could benefit from an free image from commons. For example, you can include a picture of Wisin & Yandel and explain their involvement with the album.
If you like, I can add a sample of "La Vida Es Asi".
If you're having trouble finding sources, use Google News. Here, I link this for you. This should help you alot on information.
Non-free material for use in Misplaced Pages is really strict. The image of the Machete Music building cannot be used because it the building is still around and can be replaced with a free one. Referring back to my example, use images from Wikimedia Commons as all the images there are free. Erick (talk) 18:09, 7 June 2012 (UTC)
Let's keep all discussions as I am watching the page. By free, I mean images that are in public domain. Majority of photographs found on the Internet are copyrighted and, with a few exceptions, are not encouraged to be used in Misplaced Pages. An example would be you or someone else taking a picture of the Machete Music building and releasing it as public domain. It is possible because the building is still standing. Non-free images are only for pictures that cannot be replaced by a free one such as a deceased person. Erick (talk) 18:44, 7 June 2012 (UTC)
So, if I understand correctly, I have to get me or someone else to take a picture of the building and have them release it as public domain? And also, I noticed at the top you said add the album as a spanish album in the infobox, but 2 of the songs are in English, should I put English and Spanish or just still spanish? DivaKnockouts (talk) 01:16, 8 June 2012 (UTC)
That's one way to put it. Someone has to upload a picture and release it as public domain. Another way would be to request permission from an author, but that would require the copyright holder to fill out a form that acknowledges that the photo can be redistributed at will. I would still put Spanish in the parameter because most of the songs are in Spanish, and I would note where the songs are in English in the Musical style, writing and composition section. Speaking of which, I noticed is missing in the article. There should be a section describing the style of writing and music, maybe even the theme of the album to help readers understand what the album is about. An example is what I did in Bachata Rosa. On the link I provided for Google News, I found alot of useful information that can included in the article. For example, this article by Billboard opens by explain what "La Vida Es Así" is about and it mentions that it sold 3,000 copies in its first week. That information would really be useful in the article. Another good example for musical style is Residente o Visitante done by my friend Basilisk4u or Independiente (Ricardo Arjona album) by my other friend Hahc21. Erick (talk) 02:38, 8 June 2012 (UTC)
Ok, I guess since I live in Puerto Rico I can make a trip to Sabana Abajo. Its that the picture of the building was taken by somebody and they posted it on their myspace page. And the account is no longer active.. And ok, thanks for the comments ! DivaKnockouts (talk) 04:48, 8 June 2012 (UTC)
Well if you do plan on taking a picture of it, upload it on Wiki Commons. I have added a sample of "La Vida Es Asi", you just need to add a description about the song. Just a quick note, album titles are still italicize. Is there any other questions? I have to wrap everything today before I go tomorrow. Erick (talk) 17:33, 8 June 2012 (UTC)
Ok, so I should remove the deluxe edition cover and the picture of the Machete Music building? And I guess thats it for now. Have fun on vacation. -- DivaKnockouts (talk) 21:34, 8 June 2012 (UTC)
"the Billboard Top Latin albums charts, and peaked at No. 1 on the Billboard Latin Rhythm charts" — no plural, wikilink the chart names, since its the first time you mention them.
"Also peaking at No. 18 on the Billboard Rap albums." — No need to separate from the previous phrase, since both speak about chart positions.
"It received a Latin Grammy nomination" — Since you mentioned the album name two paragraphs ago, it may be clearer of you name it again: "Drama Queen received..."
Remember to always italize the album name.
"The album spawned two singles. The first single" — Redundancy of "single".
""La Vida Es Así" was released to iTunes on May 11, 2010 and the music video was shot on May 17, 2010 in Miami and premiered on mun2 on June 22, 2010 and VEVO on June 28, 2010" — Too much detail for a Lead. Try to compress it by ommitting the separate release dates of the music video.
Also, a rewording will do well: "to iTunes on ... and the music video was shot on" — Redundancy of on.
"The music video was directed by Marlon Pena. There are two versions to the song a reggaetón version and bachata version, both were released to radios simultaneously. The reggaetón version peaked at No. 11 on the Billboard Latin Songs chart, No. 7 on the Tropical Songs chart, and No. 10 on the Latin Pop Songs charts. The bachata version never charted." — Too detailed, better if you only mention which version peaked on the most important chart and the rest leave it for the article body.
"and the music video was shot on September 28 in Miami, Florida, and premiered on" — September 28 of which year? Redundat use of and.
We have some kind of issue here. When I see "Release and promotion" i'm expecting to read about when the album was released, which versions exist, the difference between these versions, and how the album was promoted (e.g. Queen sang on this or that TV show, she appeared promoting the album here ot there), how about a tour if exist and singles. Instead, I read commercial performance. How much copies it sold and chart positions. Are you following me? This info should be under the section "commercial performance", not "release and promotion". Maybe i'm getting a little picky but it's kind of the usual for albums. ;Composition
Music and themes
I consider this section a little short. Try to make a balance with Song sructure and lyrical content. As an example, move all info related to song genre, producers, etc, to Music and themes and discuss only the lyrical content on that section (and rename it to Lyrical content)
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Upon request, hit this. Comments:
It would be useful to list total sales of the various releases.
Why isn't "Acércate" noted in the lead as the third single? Furthermore it contradicts "Drama Queen spawned two singles".
Background
Needs a reason why this album was released through Machete Music, readers do not need to know this is her seventh album that is explained in the lead.
What were they celebrating?
" ,, " needs fixing
Why was she label hopping?
"Drama Queen was her first album not in a relationship," - what is this sentence suppose to convey?
Latina magazine needs to be in italics
"Unlike Drama Queen or any or her other albums, Sentimiento (2007) showed a side of Ivy Queen that no one had seen before." - this sentence sounds very orish to me, please consider rewriting
Recording and production
Why aren't any of the producers wikilink?
"producing the majority" - needs further explaining
"She teamed with" - is missing a word
Be consistent in weather or not you provide an English translation of her tracks
"One half of the reggaeton duo Wisin & Yandel" - what?
Release and promotion
Why are you listing her as "Ivy" and not "Ivy Queen"?
"that released in 2008." - is missing a word
"The album released" - is missing a word
"and sold 3000 units in its first week" - add a coma after 3
"The original standard edition featured 13 tracks" - remove this, not needed
Combine the sentences with her deluxe edition and the extra tracks that followed
"Drama Queen took reggaeton to a new level with its mixture of ballads, mid- and uptempos and reggaeton dembows." - sounds very orish and fanlike to me. Please write this section in a neutral point of view.
The album needs to be in italics
Song structure and lyrical content
"returns to Ivy Queen's freestyle rapping roots" - who says?
"reflected on En Mi Imperio and The Original Rude Girl" - what? are these singles/songs?
"...15 years and I'm still going strong..." - who is she reflecting to? herself?
"and is not reggaeton." - is not very proper, needs re-wording
"is a reggaeton basic." - what is considered a "reggaeton basic"?
A lot of these sentences could be better combined for text flow.
"She says in the song that the people listen to her because they like her and they look at her because they like her." - needs re-wording, not in very good English
The following sentence also needs re-wording, who is R. Kelly and Mary J. Blidge? (I know who they are, but remember to provide content for the uniformed reader)
FN#2, FN#3, FN#4, FN#5, FN#6 are not reliable sources
FN#9 does not confirm the iTunes claim, furthermore this statement ""Drama Queen" which has dominated the Billboard Latin urban sales charts for 9 consecutive weeks. " should be added in the article. I am a bit worried that the article does not have the major facts about the album itself. Have you searched online for more sources that could help you expand this article?
FN#10 is not a good source to use to verify a claim, furthermore it borders WP:OR because the source does not say that it did premiered on VEVO, instead it supports your claim by the date in which it was uploaded but it does not say it.
FN#12 is not a reliable source
FN#13 verifies that the song indeed peaked on the Hot Latin Songs and Latin Pop Songs, however, it does not say it charted on the Latin Rhythm Airplay and Tropical Songs chart.
FN#15, FN#28, FN#29 needs to be archived for future reference
FN#16 does not verify the claims of the album having a mixture of tropical bachata and rap music.
FN#17 does not verify "is a mainly reggaeton track that makes uses of R&B effects. The lyrics talk about how the way life is, that she found out he was cheating on her, and that she isn't going to take his "crap" anymore." However, it does say "was recorded in urban and bachata versions".
My biggest concern, now, with the article is the lack of critical information I found in those sources you have provided and have yet included in this article. Right now, I'm skeptical about you not looking harder enough for more reliable sources on this album. I also suggest you have someone copy-edit this article, since the GOCE is baklogged and they won't get to it in time, I strongly suggest you to find someone, like a friend you have here, and ask them if they can do a you a favor and perform a copy-edit. I will still leave the article on hold, for now, but if these issues cannot be addressed, then I will have to fail this article. Best, Jona17:15, 8 September 2012 (UTC)
I am now failing this article as the nomaintor seems to be preoccupied with other projects than this one. Gave him 10 days to fix the article and has yet done anything. I wish for the best with the article but at the moment it is not GA ready yet. Best, Jona19:16, 18 September 2012 (UTC)
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Per request, ran through this. Feedback warmly encouraged. Comments:
It would be great to add more quotes from the lyrics to demonstrate the claims made about themes, etc.
Do you have any suggestions? There are a lot of websites that provide the lyrics, however it is unclear if they are copyrighted. Do you have a suggestion to what I should do?
"The tracks were written by Queen, with help from Rafael Castillo and Marcos Masis. It was produced by Luny Tunes and Noriega among others." Why not merging those two? And I consider that "the album was" is better than "the tracks were".
Done
"recorded while Queen was heartbroken features" A comma is needed before "features"
Done
"and Wisin & Yandel and Franco "El Gorila" The first "and" should be replaced with a comma
Done
"Moving 3,000 units in its first week," Hmm maybe "selling" is better
Done
"versions, A deluxe edition" A period instead of a comma goes here
Done
Background
"which spawned the Top 10 hit "Que Lloren", later certified Platinum" Which was certified Platinum? the song or the album? tweak the sentence a bit to make this clear
Is this better? :)
"a substantial live album was distributed..." Which live album is this? It has a name?
Done
"as the label celebrated" replace "the label" with "it"
"President of Universal Music Latino and Machete" The president
Done
"When asked about the drama between the release of Sentimiento and Drama Queen, by Latina Magazine, Queen said" Hmm I guess its better if you say: "When asked by Latina Magazine about the drama between..."
Done
Recording and production
"of the most well-known urban names" "names" is not working for me. Sounds too promotional. Also, I have to check if the source says "of the most well-known". If that's so, I believe that changing it with "urban artists" or something similar.
Done
"She teamed up with Wisin & Yandel on "Acércate", former Aventura band member Lenny Santos, who plays guitar on "Cosas De La Vida" while Frank Reys provides vocals, Franco "El Gorila" on "Jungle", De La Ghetto on "De La Calle" and Jadiel on "Amor A Primera Vista"." Each time you stop talking about a song, and start talking about other, put a ";" instead of a comma. Also, I think you need to reword this a little better.
Done
"was decision she took" it was a decision...
Done
Release and promotion
"as New York, New York and Los Angeles, California." Too specific: you can say "New York and Los Angeles" (without wikinlinks per WP:COMMONNAME) Check the rest of the article for this occurences and remove wikilinks where necessary.
Done
" and the words "Drama" on the right side of her body, and "Queen" on the left side of her body." Hmmmm "With the words "Drama" and "Queen" on the right and left sides of her body, respectively" sounds better?
Done
"Under that were the words "Coming Soon" in bold letters." --> "Underneath, the words "Coming Soon", in bold letters, could be read."
Done
"She was inspired action figures" Inspired by action figures
Done
"The lead single "La Vida es Así" was released on May 11 and the music video was..." --> "The lead single "La Vida es Así" was released on May 11; the music video was shot..."
Done
"Queen said that bachata is more meaningful and the bachata version revealed more feelings" the bachata version of the song? Try to reword it a bit, it reads a little weird now.
Done
"The a cappella of "La Vida es Así"" A capella version?
Done
I see that you use both "Miami" and "Miami, Florida". Pick one and keep consistent :)
Done
Hmmm the information about the Monastery is a bit irrelevant to the article. Try to chop it a bit, or all xD
Done
"The song "Acércate" was pirated before the album was released, for the first time in her 15-year career." the last part, when read, makes no grammatical sense with the first one. Try to tweak the sentence.
Done
Commercial performance
"nine consecutive weeks according to Billboard." Put a citation here.
Done
I see that your are talking about awards too, so it'll be good if you rename it to Reception.
Done
Also, chop a bit the performance of the songs, or even better: Take this paragraph and the second paragraph of "Release and promotion" and make them a new section named Singles
Done
Composition
"described as R&B meets reggaeton" Hmmm put R&B meets reggaeton inside a quote
Done
"and was the first time" --> "as it was the first time"
Done
"The textures on the album" Musical textures will fit better and thus, we avoid architecture creeps being mad at you ;)
Done
When quoting lyrics, remember to be explicit and add: "In the song, Queen sings:"
Done
"The lyrics tell us that" --> "The lyrics are about"
Done
"The urban version attacks" attacks? This is the kind of word that needs to be in a quote ;)
Done
"It has Caribbean roots and Afro-Latin influences." I suppose this is covered by a source
Done
"The song features minor key tonality and techno synths. The song has been described" Try to merge these two sentences to avoid repetitive use of "the song"
Done
"angry lyrics" angry needs to be in quotes
Done
Always try to give credit: If someone says that the song is addictive, instead of saying "the song has been described as addictive", say that "Daniel Sack from X Magazine described the song as addictive." Do this everytime you can.
Done
Critical reception
"positive reviews, Many noted her two sides, fierce and tender." A period needed after "Many". And also, who is "many"? The Many from System Shock 2? If a reviewer said this, then put the name of the reviewer :)
Done
"the album a 3.5 of 5" he gave it a what? a score? :)
Done
"claimed the album features a set that's filled with a longing more honest than most of what's heard on commercial Latin radio." claimed that the album... And "filled with a longing.." what is a longing? And album can be filled with a longing? xD
I don't know what she means by that. Lol.
"The iTunes Notes for the album say, "True to its title, her seventh album is rich in melodrama, boasting grand synthesizer runs and heart-wrenching themes of love and betrayal. That's her strength. She's her own yin and yang-strong yet soft, swaggering yet tender."" And the ref to the iTunes Notes?
Done
References
Seems to be fine.
Final result
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)