Misplaced Pages

Friend zone

Article snapshot taken from Wikipedia with creative commons attribution-sharealike license. Give it a read and then ask your questions in the chat. We can research this topic together.

This is an old revision of this page, as edited by MrRichardFader (talk | contribs) at 10:53, 29 September 2014. The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

Revision as of 10:53, 29 September 2014 by MrRichardFader (talk | contribs)(diff) ← Previous revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff) This article is about the relationship concept. For musical duo, see Friendzone. For the reality show, see Friendzone (MTV series).
Painting by Marcus Stone.

In popular culture, friend zone refers to a platonic relationship wherein one person, most commonly a man, wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not. It is generally considered to be an undesirable or dreaded.

Application

There are differing explanations about what causes a person to be placed in the friend zone by another. It might result from misinterpreted signals or from a fear that a deeper relationship might jeopardize the friendship. A Chicago Tribune writer suggested there were several cases in which someone might become relegated to the friend zone: (1) person A is not sufficiently attracted to person B, (2) person A misinterprets nonverbal cues from person B signaling their interest in deepening the relationship, (3) there is sexual repulsion (but not enough to block a friendship). In a friendship between the two people, being relegated to the friend zone can happen to either person. In another instance, a woman described her male friend, someone she was comfortable with as if he was one of her girlfriends, but their relationship became problematic when he wanted their relationship to develop romantically but she did not. One man compared the friend zone to being a "third wheel" and having only a platonic relationship with a woman.

Marshall Fine of The Huffington Post suggested that the friend zone is "like the penalty box of dating, when your only crime is not being buff and unobtainable." Dating adviser Ali Binazir described the friend zone as Justfriendistan, and wrote that it's a "territory only to be rivaled in inhospitability by the western Sahara, the Atacama, and Dante's Ninth Circle of Hell." Mastin Kipp of the Huffington Post described himself as always having girlfriends who were "girls" but were only his "friends", meaning there was no sex between them.

There is general agreement that once someone is in the friend zone, it is difficult to get out.

Opposition to the term

This section needs expansion. You can help by making an edit requestadding to it . (March 2014)

Feminist bloggers such as Rivu Dasgupta and Amanda Marcotte have argued that the friend zone concept is misogynistic. They say the friend zone concept implies that if a woman and a man have a platonic friendship and the man becomes romantically attracted to the woman, then the woman has a duty to return his affection. A woman who does not return her "nice guy" male friend's affection is viewed negatively or seen to be at fault.

Blogger Matt Eastwood prefers the term "unrequited love" instead; while the term "friend zone" implies that the person who does not return the affection, usually the woman, is at fault, the term "unrequited love" assigns the source of the conflict with the person who is unable to accept only friendship.

Chelsea Fagan of Thought Catalog argues that the term "friend zone" is not misogynistic, and that women as well as men can be "friendzoned".

Popular culture

The term was popularized by a 1994 episode of the American sitcom Friends entitled "The One with the Blackout", where the character Ross Geller, who was lovesick for Rachel Green, was described by character Joey Tribbiani as being the "mayor of the friend zone". The question of whether a man can ever "escape the friend zone and begin dating one of his female friends" helped make the "geek dream couple" of Ross and Rachel storyline dramatically compelling, according to viewers.

Since then, the friend zone concept has often been a plot element in television shows and films. The 2005 film Just Friends main character, played by Ryan Reynolds, reunited after ten years with his friend played by Amy Smart, who informs him that she loves him "like a brother", essentially dashing any hopes of him having her as a girlfriend. In May 2011, MTV had a show entitled FriendZone. In an interview with a national publication, a producer said:

The idea for the show came out of my own experience. Unfortunately, I know the pain of telling the girl of your dreams you love them and want to take the relationship to the next level only to be told they don't feel the same. I figured if it happened to me, it might be something others could relate to as well. If it works, you have the beginnings of a great love story. If it doesn't, well, pain and humiliation make great TV, too."

— an MTV producer

See also

References

  1. Emily Yahr (July 25, 2010). "The CW's 'Plain Jane,' a not-so-extreme makeover show". Washington Post. Retrieved 2011-02-24. she harbors a hard-core crush on her buddy Ty, who has categorized her in "the friend zone" since college. {{cite news}}: Italic or bold markup not allowed in: |publisher= (help)
  2. Oxford Dictionary, friend zone, Accessed Jan. 22, 2014, "...a situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unrequited romantic or sexual interest in the other..."
  3. ^ GINA B. (January 12, 2007). "What's so bad about the friend zone?". Chicago Tribune. Retrieved 2011-02-24. {{cite news}}: Italic or bold markup not allowed in: |publisher= (help)
  4. November 21, 2005, Susan King, Los Angeles Times, Following his life into the 'love zone', Accessed Jan. 22, 2014, "... I was the third wheel who would listen to all of her problems, and we would have platonic sleepovers like in the movie..."
  5. Marshall Fine (May 10, 2010). "HuffPost Review: Just Wright". Huffington Post. Retrieved 2011-02-24. {{cite news}}: Italic or bold markup not allowed in: |publisher= (help)
  6. Ali Binazir M.D. M.Phil. (February 2011). "How to stay out of the Friend Zone". taoofdating.com. Retrieved 2011-02-24. {{cite news}}: Italic or bold markup not allowed in: |publisher= (help)
  7. Mastin Kipp (June 3, 2010). "Choosing a Better Kind of Love". Huffington Post. Retrieved 2011-02-24. {{cite news}}: Italic or bold markup not allowed in: |publisher= (help)
  8. Dr. Alex Benzer (April 2, 2009). "How Rich Guys Screw Up Their Chances with Women". Huffington Post. Retrieved 2011-02-24. {{cite news}}: Italic or bold markup not allowed in: |publisher= (help)
  9. Los Angeles Times, The Art of Getting By' review: As it turns out, some teenagers are awkward and shy, Accessed Jan. 22, 2014, "...about escaping teenage gloom or the friend zone..."
  10. Cite error: The named reference Marcotte was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
  11. ^ http://www.themaneater.com/stories/2014/2/13/friend-zone-sexist/
  12. "Rape Culture Is Everywhere Our Children Can See — Watch Your Favorite Movies Prove It".
  13. ""Friendzoned"? Perhaps your Actual Problem is This". Archived from the original on 2013-12-26.
  14. Girls Get Friend Zoned, Too (And It Sucks)
  15. "Friends: The One With the Blackout Recap". TV.com. Retrieved 2008-01-14.
  16. "IGN's Top 10 Favorite TV Couples". IGN. Retrieved 2008-01-14.
  17. "FriendZone Casting Site"
Categories: