Misplaced Pages

This is an old revision of this page, as edited by Ca2james (talk | contribs) at 17:35, 8 April 2015 (Issues with the article). The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

Issues

There are still WP:OR and WP:POVFORK issues and the whole thing reads like an editorial essay, not an encyclopaedic article.

• Title - should be something like Morgellons controversies, not one that names these two specific controversies. The primary controversy is whether Morgellons exists at all as a separate disease. The secondary controversies are then the causes of the disease. The focus on these two aspects only is what makes this a WP:POVFORK.

• CDC Limitations section - The peer review for the study you're using as a reliable source is not itself a reliable source. A Master's thesis may or may not be considered a reliable source; either way, even if reliable sources do discuss limitations in the study, that does not mean that the article should include quotes describing those limitations. That whole section has to go.

• The Mayo quote is WP:UNDUE. Instead of including the whole quote, the paper can be used a reference. Take out that whole quote.

• References - Including a quote in the References and saying it's from some paper or other is not the way references are cited on Misplaced Pages. Better to cite the paper again and include the quote in the cite. Also Diagnosis or Delusion? Critical article covering the foundation by Katherine Foleyjan, 2015 is inappropriate: we Misplaced Pages editors do not describe the reference used; we only state the reference itself. This reference is also incomplete as it doesn't include the source name - is it a website, a journal article, a news site? Try using the cite templates.

• Overall - it's written as an essay, not an encyclopaedic article. Things like For more details, see the paragraph describing limitations of the study in the conclusion of their report , and their paragraph about whether it is a mental illness in the report are something you'd find in an essay. Encyclopaedic articles start a particular way, which is to define the title of the article. I strongly urge you to read the Manual of Style with particular attention to things like tone and style.

This article might have potential but it needs work. Would you object if I took a crack at it? Ca2james (talk) 17:34, 8 April 2015 (UTC)