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Contents
1 What some famous people have to say about your mom
2 Fun facts about your mom
3 Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom
4 Also...
5 Allegations about your mom
6 In other countries
6.1 Scotland
6.2 Australia
6.3 Nowhere
6.4 South Africa
6.5 Other uses
6.6 Dictionary Definition
7 In popular culture
7.1 Yo Momma
What some famous people have to say about your mom
It's ya mum! Her thighs turn me on!“Your Mom goes to college!”
~ Kip Dynamite on Your Mom
“I weigh 47 pounds, and she does have an afro with a chin strap!!”
~ your mom's shadow on your mom
“I did have sexual relations with that man”
~ Bill Clinton on Your mom
“I wrote a couple of pieces about your mom”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“The worst sex partner I've ever had, hands down.”
~ Me on Your mom
“You would. Admit it.”
~ Sigmund Freud on Your mom
“*SQUAWK* You would. Admit it.”
~ Parrot on Sigmund Freud
“She's so fat, the escape velocity at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.”
~ Stephen Hawking on Your mom
“I am.”
~ Your mom on Your mom
“Better than a biscuit.”
~ Everyone on your mom
“Your mother is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“Your mom is a delightful woman with whom I enjoy spending time.”
~ The Olsen Twins on Your mom
“Back of the line.”
~ Oscar Wilde on your mom “In Soviet Russia, mom does YOU!!'”
~ Russian Reversal on your mom
“She wouldn't fetch much at my auction!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“All your mom are belong to us.”
~ CATS on your mom
“No no, brother. It's "all of your moms belong to us."”
~ CATS' brother DOGS on your mom
“I created her with a penis.”
~ God on your mom
“I´ll pitty jo' momma!!!.”
~ Mr. T on your mom
“Crikey! It's a monster.”
~ Steve Irwin on your mom
“I can't believe it's not female!”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“I DID YOUR MOM a favor, AND MADE YOU a lunch”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“You're mom is more fun than a Slinky on an Escalator!”
~ Some little girl on your mom
“Your mom is your dad's wife”
~ Captain Obvious on Your mom
“*squawk* Your mom is... *squawk* your dad's...”
~ Dying Random Parrot on Captain Obvious
“I gave that woman the clap”
~ Stewart McDonald on Your mom
Therefore
~ Isaac Newton on your mom
“oh yeah baby”
~ your dad on your mom
“YEAH BABY, YEAH!”
~ Austin Powers on your mom
“Cheap as chips!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“I don't want to work, I want to bang your mom all day.”
~ Todd Rundgren on your mom
"Your mom likes Bush!"
~ Stephen Colbert
“*silence*”
~ Dead Not-So-Random-Anymore Parrot
“What's that coming over the hill, is it your mother?, Is it your mother? ”
~ The Welsh on Your mom
“Your mom's the newest member of the nWo, brother. ”
~ Hulk Hogan on Your mom
“Your mom has been arrested for drug possession and anal rape. Bail is $500.”
~ Meg Griffin on Your mom
“Hey, Eliwood! I fucked your mom!”
~ Hector on Lord Eliwood's mom
“Meh”
~ Teh Cheat on Your mom
“She has a very small penis.”
~ Tiltyu on Eric Cartman's mom
Fun facts about your mom
Never forget to tell Your mom how much you love her.Your momma has eleven fingers and fifteen toes, and still can't count to twenty-six Your mums so fat thea Nasa octually orbits her. Yo momma is so fat, she started the Revolution revolution! Yo momma so fat, when she gets on the scales it says "to be continued..." Yo momma so ugly, she make blind muthafuckas cry Your mom is so stupid she thought that a parental control was an abortion yo momma so fat, she comes from both sides of the family Your mom has a peg leg with a kickstand Your mom has an afro with a chinstrap Your mom is a team killer acording to NYC_bLuNtRoLlEr_444 Your mom listens to Hard House / NRG. Your mom did the UN yesterday. Your mom is symbolized by the element Urmomium Your mom is still a virgin. She will probably remain a virgin unless you hire her a cabana boy. Your mom is somewhat like Helen of Troy, in that her face launched 1000 nuclear weapons, all of which were pointed at her. Interestingly enough, your mom survived the barrage. Your mom shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. Your mom sells her crack for crack. Your mom is the Uncyclopedia:Community Portal -- everyone gets a chance to enter. Your mom was exceedingly popular during a brief period in the 1980s, but then again, what wasn't?
Don't ever let Your Mom give you the evil eye!Using 'Your mom' as a comeback became popular again in the year 2000 thanks to bored Indiana residents who decided that the old 80s joke should be born again for this new "Generation Y.45-802.11bag version 5.1(2800)" Your mom got so high once at a Jimmy Buffett concert that she threw her panties at a stuffed parrot, but that doesn't mean it's okay for you and your friends to waste your lives on the devil weed. Your mom is so fat that people practice by climbing Mt. Everest before they climb her. Your mom is so fat, the astronaughts keep believing there is a dimple on the Earth Your mom is so fat that hundreds of horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly that hundreds of other horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face. Your mom is so stupid she took me to the movie theater to see "Closed For The Season". Your moms breath smells so bad she the reason people grow old and die Your mom can't get a record deal because she doesn't want it enough. Your mom is so stupid she thought that MySpace was a sexual position. Your mom is so stupid she drove on the driveway and parked on the parkway. Your mom is so ugly, yo daddy brings her to work so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. Your mom is so fat she swallowed my mom whole. Speaking of "your mom" and "come backs"... Your mom. Your mom would be horribly upset that you are wasting your life visiting this site. Your mom is so fat, she puts her tits in the overhead compartment on an airplane. Your mom's ass is so fat, that it has its own zip code. Your mom knows you spank the monkey, but loves you anyway. Your mom buys extra soft 3-ply Kleenex because she loves you anyway. Your mom was the 53rd leader of the free world. Your mom was subsequently made the 52nd through 78th states, because she was so fat. Your mom knows all about the monsters in your closet. Your mom owes me money, you douche! Your mom has apparently had sex with everyone you have ever argued with, including herself. Your mom is often confused with G.W.B and Abe Lincoln. I'm sorry, but all of them look like monkeys. Your mom is a creature from outer space. Your mom is outer space Your mom fought JFK in one of the greatest movie epics of all time. Your mom once tried Satanism, but didn't really like it. Your mom went to prom with Merv the Perv. Your mom is the mascot for the University of Arizona. Your mom had Rutgers University for lunch, Princeton University for dinner, and has the University of California as a teddy bear. Your mom is my mom. Am I confusing you? Your mom is like the Moon, big, round, and influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so stupid she failed her GED, while TAKING HER DRIVERS TEST! ZING! Your mom is so fat the city had to dig a hole through her for traffic to pass through. Your mom is so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin. Your mom is so fat, when Chris Farley tried to have sex with her he got lost for six days. When he came back out, he had a pet crab named Alfred. Your mom is so ugly, when she went to McDonalds, they couldn't serve happy meals. Neil Armstrong wasn't the first man on your mum. Your mom is so dumb that she put 20 cents in a parking meter and said "Where the fuck's my gumball?" Your mum - not mom - is so fat that she resides in the USA. Your mom is so fat and ugly and dumb that she would make a bad salesperson at GNC. Your mom is so fat, that when god created the earth and said let there be light he asked your mom to move! Your mom is so fat, that your dad rolled over three times and he was still on top of her. Your 'mom' sat next to everybody at school. Your mum is so fat that I decided to sleep with her, just to say I had. What country is so fat that is makes your mom look slim? None. Well, maybe the United States Of America, but that's beside the point. Your mom is so fat, she influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so old that she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. Your mom is so fat, that when she completes a revolution, time stops! Your mom is so old, her social security number is "I". Your mom is so ugly, she makes my mom look good. Your mom knows what you do right before going to sleep. Your mom is so ugly she doesn't look good at all when it really comes down to it. Your mom's name is actually Harriet. She's a 90 year old part Irish part Samoan woman who is currently leading an underground resitance against the future British Government. Your mom looks like Condoleeza Rice! Your mom is like a brick, flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans. The escape velocity at your mom's surface exceeds 3 * 10^8 m/s. Your mom did not understand the previous comment. It means her mass is roughly 500 times that of Sol, the sun. Your mom is like a vacumm, she sucks, she blows and she gets laid in the closet Wanna know what forever feels like? Try walking around your mom... Your mom is really a grue, who really eats her children, and when she was having you, she was still suffereing from a 9 year hangover, and wasn't able to realise that you were being born. Your lucky that your father wanted fun and to occupy his time, thats why you dont have a little brother. Your momma is so fat that she went to the beach and animal rights activists tried to push her back in the water Your mom is so fat that when she turns around, the half of her thats moving towards you turns blue, and the other half turns red. Your mom makes kitty sad... Your mom's moustache makes kitty scared... I once asked for Your mom's autograph - i thought it was the guy from Lordi Your mom is so stupid she tells YOU your mama jokes. Your mom is so stupid she calls you a son-of-a-bitch. Your mom is so slutty she is your mom and your sister-in-law. Yo momma so fat, she uses the freeway to iron her underwear. Your mum's so ugly she uses a line of make up called "Why Bother!" Your mums so ugly that when she stands on the beach the tide wont come in. Your mom's so stupid she thinks that Cross-Dressing is what you put on your salad. Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom Your Mom is so ugly, someone decided to stop pasting in the words "your mom". Your Mom was good last night and I left her money under the pillow. Your Mom is the Invisible man + Crack Your Mom is Phat.Also, penis. Your Mom gives great hummers! Your Mom has a really nice hat Your Mom has a huge crush on Barry Manilow, and has been mailing him her diary entries weekly for over two decades, doodle-hearts and all. Your Mom only lets your friends over for sleep-overs because she gets a little action with them while you sleep. Your Mom secretly likes the smell of her own flatus. Now you know where you get it from. Your Mom is like a Bowling Ball. She gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, yet she still comes back for more. Your Mom bucked like Bambi in a forest fire while I was riding her last night. I had to grab her love handles with both hands to stay on. No wonder she demanded I tie her to the hood of the SUV before we started. Don't worry, Your Mom is still a virgin. You were a backdoor baby. Your Mom knows the exact come-on line which lead to your conception. Your Mom is really a homeless man living in Iraq. The Government does not want you to know this, so they handed you over to some fat bitch Your Mom thought you were an exceptionally large crap. Your Mom is actually Richard Simmons in disguise. The term motherfucker refers, specifically, to Your Mom. In a year's time, another term, far worse than motherfucker, will gain currency. It will be so scatologically vile that most nations will establish crimes for its usage. It, too, will refer, specifically, to Your Mom. Your Mom is Chief Test Engineer for the Jack Rabbit Massager Corporation. Your Mom wears crotchless panties. And a Peep Hole bra. Your Mom uses duo-balls to relieve the tedium of shopping. Your Mom is so evil, she forced this person to continue putting in the words "your mom". Your mom also enjoys using ben-wa gerbils. Your mom bangs like a shit-house door in a Force 9 gale. Your mom is really Bill Gates. Your mom has a dick. And it's dick is bigger than your dick. Your mom is so fat that she has nine zip codes and none of them border on each other. Your mom is so ugly that the Devil slapped her for smiling and then gouged his eyes out with his pitchfork. Your mom is also Tubgirl. Your mom is in love with Mr. Goatse. Your mom is a cam whore! Your mom eats dead babies. Your mom is so goddamn fat that her NASA sent a space probe to orbit her ass. They never heard from it again. Your mom has a job, and is a respected part of the community. Your mom is so fat, she entered a fat contest and won first, second, and third. Your mom is so fat that Stevie Wonder sees her Your mom isn't really a man. Shes a hermaphrodite. your mom is so old and fat that when she stood up one day she caused the ice age. *your mom is so old she witnessed david killing goliath and she was a waitress at the last supper. your mom is so fat, that when she saw a yellow bus full of white kids go by, she said "stop that twinkie!" Your mom is Barry the Manny your mom is so poor that when i saw her kicking a can down the road, i asked what she was doing.She replied saying i'm moving! Your mom is so disgusting, she is Crystal Pepsi! Your mom was 35 when Jesus was born! Your mom is the age of God! Your mom is poop. Your mom is so fat, her ass has it’s own congressman. (And her congressman was bitch-slapped by Stephen Colbert for being a pussy liberal.) Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the zoo the elephants throw peanuts at her! Your mom is so fat when she walks down the street she walks down the street! Your mom is so emo she saw a run-over squirrel, brought it home, named it George and bragged about it to her whole friends list. Your mom is so fat and emo she cut herself and bled butter. Your mom is so emo she spends $20 on a worn out, vintage looking shirt that was fresh off the shelf at Hot Topic. Your mom is so emo the Grim Reaper had to put out a restraining order. Your mom is so fat, that her period is an exclamation mark! Your mom was, when he made you. your mom is so fat, she cleans her clothes on the driveway Your mom is Russian and stupid, therefore, she thinks you are her. Your mom is so fat, when she is done wiping her ass, the Charmin baby is in its late teens. Your mom has just read this. And she is not amused. Your moms so stupid she sold her car for gas money Also...
Your mom on a regular day.
Your mom on a Good Day.
Your mom on a Really Good Day.
Not your mom.
Allegations about your mom Dear Reader Kyle Rainforth Is A BITCH!!!!! So is Jonny Shoring You have two dads. And both of them are gay. With each other. Your two dads are George W Bush and Sadam Hussein Suzie has four dads. Five are in shallow graves. How many dads are you? Your mother has had sexual relations with all your base. Your mother tried to hang herself with a cordless phone. Your mom Is Darth Vader My other car is your mom. (OHHH! DISSED!) My other mom is your car. (!DESSID !HHHO) Your mom is a necrophiliac Your mom lost her viginity to a bucking bronco Your mom lost her virginity to you... So you are a bucking bronco and I lost my virginity to a bucking bronco. Fortunately, not all aligations are true. And these jokes suck balls. Your mum had sex with your dad, same with your neighbours mum. Your mother is from the plannet Endor and is a Wookie Your mom looks like a hoe In other countries Scotland 'Your maw' is a Scottish colloquialism that derives from the phrase 'Your Mother'. Originally a phrase in English used to indicated someone’s birth parent, this Scottish version is most commonly used as way to put down people who have wronged you (or fucked you off as the natives would put it).
Examples of the phrases use are the following:
"Shut up ya baw bag or i'll beat you so hard your maw will feel it!" "I'm ge'in so fat 'cause a'time i have your maw she geez me a sandwich." It can also be used in place of the common phrase 'Fuck Off' to end an argument:
Speaker 1: "You are a toetal dick by the whay!" Speaker 2: "You wheesht or i'll end you ya baw sack!!" Speaker 1: "Whituver ya wee fanny!" Speaker 2: *as dismissal* "Pshhh, your maw!" People should however be wary of using it in the latter sence as it will often lead to what is affectionately known as a Glasgow Kiss or if in certain parts of Govan, a Glessing.
Australia Your Mum
Nowhere (Also known as Norway)
Mora di er mann, og faren din er homo. Ha ha ha.
wait for your little yellow Babelfish to zdecode this gibberish* Your mom is a man and your dad is gay. Pancakes.
South Africa 'Jou ma' is a common phrase used to rebut an argument. It is often used in conjunction with 'se poes' or 'se gat' to form the often heard 'Jou ma se poes!' or 'Jou ma se gat!' which roughly translated means 'Your moms vagina' and 'Your moms asshole!' respectivly, although the former is the one more often used.
Other uses Your mom is also used in as a lazy phrase to indicate someone having had sexual intercourse with an adversary’s mother. This is used often in cajoling and in defensive/offensive verbal banter between neds (who's natural habitats include Glasgow, Edinburgh and All of England; though English neds are weaklings and hardly worth counting) that often results in a battling not too dissimilar to that portrayed in the cartoon Pokemon. The battling invariably ends in one neds humiliation at which point he will run home to aforementioned 'sexually abused mother' to grass up who has just clattered him and stained his Fila trackies with grass, pish and bucky. If people are feeling particularly intelligent that day then the phrase can be used as a way of turning the conversation around on the other person. e.g.
person 1: “Hey, you poked a hole in my balloon! I hate you!” person 2: “I poked a hole in your mom last night.” Dictionary Definition "wen ppl hav nothin better 2 offend ppl, they refer 2 'your mom' meaning your mam, they are trying to say they have shagged her basically" quoted from the Urban Dictionary. "Ay your mom:- I don't believe you." quoted from the BBC site. "AAAA AAA" - AAAAAAAAA! "Jou Ma" - Afrikaans "Dei Muada" - Austrian "J0|2 (V)0(V)" - Leet "Je Moeder" - Dutch "Yo Momma" - Ebonics "Ta Mère" - French "???? ????" - Russian "Tvoja mama" - Slovene "Deine Mutter" - German "??? ???" or "????'?" - Really Bad Hebrew "? ?????? ???" - Greek "La Vostra Madre" - Italian "Your Mother" - England - English "Dirka dirka' - Arabic "Anyád" - Hungarian "Do Mháthair" - Irish "Omm tieg?ek" - Maltese "Mora di" or "mor di" - Norwegian "Twoja Stara" - Polish "A Tua Mãe" - Portuguese; "Sua Mãe" (Brazillian) "???? ????" or "???? ????!" - Russian "Tu Madre" - Spanish; "Tu Vieja" (Spanish slang) "?? ???" - Arabic "??????" - Japanese "???" - Korean "???" - Chinese "InnaMOY" - Tagalog "Ya Mum - Australian "Sun Mutsis" - Finnish "Din Mamma!" - Swedish "Tavo motuže." - Lithuanian "Ma(-ta aia curva si cheala" - Româna( "Din mor" - Danish "?????? ?????" - Bulgarian "Senin annen" - Turkish "Tu Jefa" or "Tu Mama" - Modern Mexican "Mama kau" - Malaysian Malay "Tua mater" - Latin "Sinu ema!" - Estonian In popular culture Yo Momma Yo Momma is a television series created by George Dubya Bush himself to destroy any credibility our nation has left by lowering our already pathetically low standards of entertainment. Also it airs on MTV2 and maybe MTV Sometimes.
Overview - The show Itself is hosted by a perennial jackass named Wimer Valderama. This man from what experts have gathered is a bastard child. In the Show contestants compete by, "Slinging their Slander" at each other, these jokes don't have to be about the other contestants' mothers but you get extra points if you can tell a 'Yo Momma' joke without looking like an asshole. For Example:
Yo Momma so fat, she's... really fuckin' fat, dawg.
Round One - The show is divided into rounds, round one being the free for all round, where anyone, from hardcore blacksters to asians dudes with nerdy specs can compete, the winner gets to go on to a one-on-one match with the winner from the other side of town, as I'm sure you can imagine all rounds go like this.
"Your mother is, so black, I turned out the lights and couldn't see her." "Yo Momma so asian, she walks out side and peeps asked where she got a full body raincoat" One-on-One Rounds - Next the one-on-one matches begin, the winner getting some "Cash Moooney" and dying a little on the inside, because this was and is their greatest accopmlishment.
Sometime within the match
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NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!
The article you are looking at may not be work safe! If a boss or coworker saw this article, claim that it was spam and blame the IT guys. Otherwise, continue to read it until your lewd urges are sated. For those without comedic tastes, the so-called-experts at Misplaced Pages have an article about Your mom. PIECE OF CRAP WARNING!
This page is a piece of crap. The author acknowledges this.
Contents
1 What some famous people have to say about your mom
2 Fun facts about your mom
3 Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom
4 Also...
5 Allegations about your mom
6 In other countries
6.1 Scotland
6.2 Australia
6.3 Nowhere
6.4 South Africa
6.5 Other uses
6.6 Dictionary Definition
7 In popular culture
7.1 Yo Momma
What some famous people have to say about your mom
It's ya mum! Her thighs turn me on!“Your Mom goes to college!”
~ Kip Dynamite on Your Mom
“I weigh 47 pounds, and she does have an afro with a chin strap!!”
~ your mom's shadow on your mom
“I did have sexual relations with that man”
~ Bill Clinton on Your mom
“I wrote a couple of pieces about your mom”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“The worst sex partner I've ever had, hands down.”
~ Me on Your mom
“You would. Admit it.”
~ Sigmund Freud on Your mom
“*SQUAWK* You would. Admit it.”
~ Parrot on Sigmund Freud
“She's so fat, the escape velocity at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.”
~ Stephen Hawking on Your mom
“I am.”
~ Your mom on Your mom
“Better than a biscuit.”
~ Everyone on your mom
“Your mother is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“Your mom is a delightful woman with whom I enjoy spending time.”
~ The Olsen Twins on Your mom
“Back of the line.”
~ Oscar Wilde on your mom “In Soviet Russia, mom does YOU!!'”
~ Russian Reversal on your mom
“She wouldn't fetch much at my auction!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“All your mom are belong to us.”
~ CATS on your mom
“No no, brother. It's "all of your moms belong to us."”
~ CATS' brother DOGS on your mom
“I created her with a penis.”
~ God on your mom
“I´ll pitty jo' momma!!!.”
~ Mr. T on your mom
“Crikey! It's a monster.”
~ Steve Irwin on your mom
“I can't believe it's not female!”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“I DID YOUR MOM a favor, AND MADE YOU a lunch”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“You're mom is more fun than a Slinky on an Escalator!”
~ Some little girl on your mom
“Your mom is your dad's wife”
~ Captain Obvious on Your mom
“*squawk* Your mom is... *squawk* your dad's...”
~ Dying Random Parrot on Captain Obvious
“I gave that woman the clap”
~ Stewart McDonald on Your mom
Therefore
~ Isaac Newton on your mom
“oh yeah baby”
~ your dad on your mom
“YEAH BABY, YEAH!”
~ Austin Powers on your mom
“Cheap as chips!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“I don't want to work, I want to bang your mom all day.”
~ Todd Rundgren on your mom
"Your mom likes Bush!"
~ Stephen Colbert
“*silence*”
~ Dead Not-So-Random-Anymore Parrot
“What's that coming over the hill, is it your mother?, Is it your mother? ”
~ The Welsh on Your mom
“Your mom's the newest member of the nWo, brother. ”
~ Hulk Hogan on Your mom
“Your mom has been arrested for drug possession and anal rape. Bail is $500.”
~ Meg Griffin on Your mom
“Hey, Eliwood! I fucked your mom!”
~ Hector on Lord Eliwood's mom
“Meh”
~ Teh Cheat on Your mom
“She has a very small penis.”
~ Tiltyu on Eric Cartman's mom
Fun facts about your mom
Never forget to tell Your mom how much you love her.Your momma has eleven fingers and fifteen toes, and still can't count to twenty-six Your mums so fat thea Nasa octually orbits her. Yo momma is so fat, she started the Revolution revolution! Yo momma so fat, when she gets on the scales it says "to be continued..." Yo momma so ugly, she make blind muthafuckas cry Your mom is so stupid she thought that a parental control was an abortion yo momma so fat, she comes from both sides of the family Your mom has a peg leg with a kickstand Your mom has an afro with a chinstrap Your mom is a team killer acording to NYC_bLuNtRoLlEr_444 Your mom listens to Hard House / NRG. Your mom did the UN yesterday. Your mom is symbolized by the element Urmomium Your mom is still a virgin. She will probably remain a virgin unless you hire her a cabana boy. Your mom is somewhat like Helen of Troy, in that her face launched 1000 nuclear weapons, all of which were pointed at her. Interestingly enough, your mom survived the barrage. Your mom shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. Your mom sells her crack for crack. Your mom is the Uncyclopedia:Community Portal -- everyone gets a chance to enter. Your mom was exceedingly popular during a brief period in the 1980s, but then again, what wasn't?
Don't ever let Your Mom give you the evil eye!Using 'Your mom' as a comeback became popular again in the year 2000 thanks to bored Indiana residents who decided that the old 80s joke should be born again for this new "Generation Y.45-802.11bag version 5.1(2800)" Your mom got so high once at a Jimmy Buffett concert that she threw her panties at a stuffed parrot, but that doesn't mean it's okay for you and your friends to waste your lives on the devil weed. Your mom is so fat that people practice by climbing Mt. Everest before they climb her. Your mom is so fat, the astronaughts keep believing there is a dimple on the Earth Your mom is so fat that hundreds of horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly that hundreds of other horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face. Your mom is so stupid she took me to the movie theater to see "Closed For The Season". Your moms breath smells so bad she the reason people grow old and die Your mom can't get a record deal because she doesn't want it enough. Your mom is so stupid she thought that MySpace was a sexual position. Your mom is so stupid she drove on the driveway and parked on the parkway. Your mom is so ugly, yo daddy brings her to work so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. Your mom is so fat she swallowed my mom whole. Speaking of "your mom" and "come backs"... Your mom. Your mom would be horribly upset that you are wasting your life visiting this site. Your mom is so fat, she puts her tits in the overhead compartment on an airplane. Your mom's ass is so fat, that it has its own zip code. Your mom knows you spank the monkey, but loves you anyway. Your mom buys extra soft 3-ply Kleenex because she loves you anyway. Your mom was the 53rd leader of the free world. Your mom was subsequently made the 52nd through 78th states, because she was so fat. Your mom knows all about the monsters in your closet. Your mom owes me money, you douche! Your mom has apparently had sex with everyone you have ever argued with, including herself. Your mom is often confused with G.W.B and Abe Lincoln. I'm sorry, but all of them look like monkeys. Your mom is a creature from outer space. Your mom is outer space Your mom fought JFK in one of the greatest movie epics of all time. Your mom once tried Satanism, but didn't really like it. Your mom went to prom with Merv the Perv. Your mom is the mascot for the University of Arizona. Your mom had Rutgers University for lunch, Princeton University for dinner, and has the University of California as a teddy bear. Your mom is my mom. Am I confusing you? Your mom is like the Moon, big, round, and influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so stupid she failed her GED, while TAKING HER DRIVERS TEST! ZING! Your mom is so fat the city had to dig a hole through her for traffic to pass through. Your mom is so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin. Your mom is so fat, when Chris Farley tried to have sex with her he got lost for six days. When he came back out, he had a pet crab named Alfred. Your mom is so ugly, when she went to McDonalds, they couldn't serve happy meals. Neil Armstrong wasn't the first man on your mum. Your mom is so dumb that she put 20 cents in a parking meter and said "Where the fuck's my gumball?" Your mum - not mom - is so fat that she resides in the USA. Your mom is so fat and ugly and dumb that she would make a bad salesperson at GNC. Your mom is so fat, that when god created the earth and said let there be light he asked your mom to move! Your mom is so fat, that your dad rolled over three times and he was still on top of her. Your 'mom' sat next to everybody at school. Your mum is so fat that I decided to sleep with her, just to say I had. What country is so fat that is makes your mom look slim? None. Well, maybe the United States Of America, but that's beside the point. Your mom is so fat, she influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so old that she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. Your mom is so fat, that when she completes a revolution, time stops! Your mom is so old, her social security number is "I". Your mom is so ugly, she makes my mom look good. Your mom knows what you do right before going to sleep. Your mom is so ugly she doesn't look good at all when it really comes down to it. Your mom's name is actually Harriet. She's a 90 year old part Irish part Samoan woman who is currently leading an underground resitance against the future British Government. Your mom looks like Condoleeza Rice! Your mom is like a brick, flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans. The escape velocity at your mom's surface exceeds 3 * 10^8 m/s. Your mom did not understand the previous comment. It means her mass is roughly 500 times that of Sol, the sun. Your mom is like a vacumm, she sucks, she blows and she gets laid in the closet Wanna know what forever feels like? Try walking around your mom... Your mom is really a grue, who really eats her children, and when she was having you, she was still suffereing from a 9 year hangover, and wasn't able to realise that you were being born. Your lucky that your father wanted fun and to occupy his time, thats why you dont have a little brother. Your momma is so fat that she went to the beach and animal rights activists tried to push her back in the water Your mom is so fat that when she turns around, the half of her thats moving towards you turns blue, and the other half turns red. Your mom makes kitty sad... Your mom's moustache makes kitty scared... I once asked for Your mom's autograph - i thought it was the guy from Lordi Your mom is so stupid she tells YOU your mama jokes. Your mom is so stupid she calls you a son-of-a-bitch. Your mom is so slutty she is your mom and your sister-in-law. Yo momma so fat, she uses the freeway to iron her underwear. Your mum's so ugly she uses a line of make up called "Why Bother!" Your mums so ugly that when she stands on the beach the tide wont come in. Your mom's so stupid she thinks that Cross-Dressing is what you put on your salad. Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom Your Mom is so ugly, someone decided to stop pasting in the words "your mom". Your Mom was good last night and I left her money under the pillow. Your Mom is the Invisible man + Crack Your Mom is Phat.Also, penis. Your Mom gives great hummers! Your Mom has a really nice hat Your Mom has a huge crush on Barry Manilow, and has been mailing him her diary entries weekly for over two decades, doodle-hearts and all. Your Mom only lets your friends over for sleep-overs because she gets a little action with them while you sleep. Your Mom secretly likes the smell of her own flatus. Now you know where you get it from. Your Mom is like a Bowling Ball. She gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, yet she still comes back for more. Your Mom bucked like Bambi in a forest fire while I was riding her last night. I had to grab her love handles with both hands to stay on. No wonder she demanded I tie her to the hood of the SUV before we started. Don't worry, Your Mom is still a virgin. You were a backdoor baby. Your Mom knows the exact come-on line which lead to your conception. Your Mom is really a homeless man living in Iraq. The Government does not want you to know this, so they handed you over to some fat bitch Your Mom thought you were an exceptionally large crap. Your Mom is actually Richard Simmons in disguise. The term motherfucker refers, specifically, to Your Mom. In a year's time, another term, far worse than motherfucker, will gain currency. It will be so scatologically vile that most nations will establish crimes for its usage. It, too, will refer, specifically, to Your Mom. Your Mom is Chief Test Engineer for the Jack Rabbit Massager Corporation. Your Mom wears crotchless panties. And a Peep Hole bra. Your Mom uses duo-balls to relieve the tedium of shopping. Your Mom is so evil, she forced this person to continue putting in the words "your mom". Your mom also enjoys using ben-wa gerbils. Your mom bangs like a shit-house door in a Force 9 gale. Your mom is really Bill Gates. Your mom has a dick. And it's dick is bigger than your dick. Your mom is so fat that she has nine zip codes and none of them border on each other. Your mom is so ugly that the Devil slapped her for smiling and then gouged his eyes out with his pitchfork. Your mom is also Tubgirl. Your mom is in love with Mr. Goatse. Your mom is a cam whore! Your mom eats dead babies. Your mom is so goddamn fat that her NASA sent a space probe to orbit her ass. They never heard from it again. Your mom has a job, and is a respected part of the community. Your mom is so fat, she entered a fat contest and won first, second, and third. Your mom is so fat that Stevie Wonder sees her Your mom isn't really a man. Shes a hermaphrodite. your mom is so old and fat that when she stood up one day she caused the ice age. *your mom is so old she witnessed david killing goliath and she was a waitress at the last supper. your mom is so fat, that when she saw a yellow bus full of white kids go by, she said "stop that twinkie!" Your mom is Barry the Manny your mom is so poor that when i saw her kicking a can down the road, i asked what she was doing.She replied saying i'm moving! Your mom is so disgusting, she is Crystal Pepsi! Your mom was 35 when Jesus was born! Your mom is the age of God! Your mom is poop. Your mom is so fat, her ass has it’s own congressman. (And her congressman was bitch-slapped by Stephen Colbert for being a pussy liberal.) Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the zoo the elephants throw peanuts at her! Your mom is so fat when she walks down the street she walks down the street! Your mom is so emo she saw a run-over squirrel, brought it home, named it George and bragged about it to her whole friends list. Your mom is so fat and emo she cut herself and bled butter. Your mom is so emo she spends $20 on a worn out, vintage looking shirt that was fresh off the shelf at Hot Topic. Your mom is so emo the Grim Reaper had to put out a restraining order. Your mom is so fat, that her period is an exclamation mark! Your mom was, when he made you. your mom is so fat, she cleans her clothes on the driveway Your mom is Russian and stupid, therefore, she thinks you are her. Your mom is so fat, when she is done wiping her ass, the Charmin baby is in its late teens. Your mom has just read this. And she is not amused. Your moms so stupid she sold her car for gas money Also...
Your mom on a regular day.
Your mom on a Good Day.
Your mom on a Really Good Day.
Not your mom.
Allegations about your mom Dear Reader Kyle Rainforth Is A BITCH!!!!! So is Jonny Shoring You have two dads. And both of them are gay. With each other. Your two dads are George W Bush and Sadam Hussein Suzie has four dads. Five are in shallow graves. How many dads are you? Your mother has had sexual relations with all your base. Your mother tried to hang herself with a cordless phone. Your mom Is Darth Vader My other car is your mom. (OHHH! DISSED!) My other mom is your car. (!DESSID !HHHO) Your mom is a necrophiliac Your mom lost her viginity to a bucking bronco Your mom lost her virginity to you... So you are a bucking bronco and I lost my virginity to a bucking bronco. Fortunately, not all aligations are true. And these jokes suck balls. Your mum had sex with your dad, same with your neighbours mum. Your mother is from the plannet Endor and is a Wookie Your mom looks like a hoe In other countries Scotland 'Your maw' is a Scottish colloquialism that derives from the phrase 'Your Mother'. Originally a phrase in English used to indicated someone’s birth parent, this Scottish version is most commonly used as way to put down people who have wronged you (or fucked you off as the natives would put it).
Examples of the phrases use are the following:
"Shut up ya baw bag or i'll beat you so hard your maw will feel it!" "I'm ge'in so fat 'cause a'time i have your maw she geez me a sandwich." It can also be used in place of the common phrase 'Fuck Off' to end an argument:
Speaker 1: "You are a toetal dick by the whay!" Speaker 2: "You wheesht or i'll end you ya baw sack!!" Speaker 1: "Whituver ya wee fanny!" Speaker 2: *as dismissal* "Pshhh, your maw!" People should however be wary of using it in the latter sence as it will often lead to what is affectionately known as a Glasgow Kiss or if in certain parts of Govan, a Glessing.
Australia Your Mum
Nowhere (Also known as Norway)
Mora di er mann, og faren din er homo. Ha ha ha.
wait for your little yellow Babelfish to zdecode this gibberish* Your mom is a man and your dad is gay. Pancakes.
South Africa 'Jou ma' is a common phrase used to rebut an argument. It is often used in conjunction with 'se poes' or 'se gat' to form the often heard 'Jou ma se poes!' or 'Jou ma se gat!' which roughly translated means 'Your moms vagina' and 'Your moms asshole!' respectivly, although the former is the one more often used.
Other uses Your mom is also used in as a lazy phrase to indicate someone having had sexual intercourse with an adversary’s mother. This is used often in cajoling and in defensive/offensive verbal banter between neds (who's natural habitats include Glasgow, Edinburgh and All of England; though English neds are weaklings and hardly worth counting) that often results in a battling not too dissimilar to that portrayed in the cartoon Pokemon. The battling invariably ends in one neds humiliation at which point he will run home to aforementioned 'sexually abused mother' to grass up who has just clattered him and stained his Fila trackies with grass, pish and bucky. If people are feeling particularly intelligent that day then the phrase can be used as a way of turning the conversation around on the other person. e.g.
person 1: “Hey, you poked a hole in my balloon! I hate you!” person 2: “I poked a hole in your mom last night.” Dictionary Definition "wen ppl hav nothin better 2 offend ppl, they refer 2 'your mom' meaning your mam, they are trying to say they have shagged her basically" quoted from the Urban Dictionary. "Ay your mom:- I don't believe you." quoted from the BBC site. "AAAA AAA" - AAAAAAAAA! "Jou Ma" - Afrikaans "Dei Muada" - Austrian "J0|2 (V)0(V)" - Leet "Je Moeder" - Dutch "Yo Momma" - Ebonics "Ta Mère" - French "???? ????" - Russian "Tvoja mama" - Slovene "Deine Mutter" - German "??? ???" or "????'?" - Really Bad Hebrew "? ?????? ???" - Greek "La Vostra Madre" - Italian "Your Mother" - England - English "Dirka dirka' - Arabic "Anyád" - Hungarian "Do Mháthair" - Irish "Omm tieg?ek" - Maltese "Mora di" or "mor di" - Norwegian "Twoja Stara" - Polish "A Tua Mãe" - Portuguese; "Sua Mãe" (Brazillian) "???? ????" or "???? ????!" - Russian "Tu Madre" - Spanish; "Tu Vieja" (Spanish slang) "?? ???" - Arabic "??????" - Japanese "???" - Korean "???" - Chinese "InnaMOY" - Tagalog "Ya Mum - Australian "Sun Mutsis" - Finnish "Din Mamma!" - Swedish "Tavo motuže." - Lithuanian "Ma(-ta aia curva si cheala" - Româna( "Din mor" - Danish "?????? ?????" - Bulgarian "Senin annen" - Turkish "Tu Jefa" or "Tu Mama" - Modern Mexican "Mama kau" - Malaysian Malay "Tua mater" - Latin "Sinu ema!" - Estonian In popular culture Yo Momma Yo Momma is a television series created by George Dubya Bush himself to destroy any credibility our nation has left by lowering our already pathetically low standards of entertainment. Also it airs on MTV2 and maybe MTV Sometimes.
Overview - The show Itself is hosted by a perennial jackass named Wimer Valderama. This man from what experts have gathered is a bastard child. In the Show contestants compete by, "Slinging their Slander" at each other, these jokes don't have to be about the other contestants' mothers but you get extra points if you can tell a 'Yo Momma' joke without looking like an asshole. For Example:
Yo Momma so fat, she's... really fuckin' fat, dawg.
Round One - The show is divided into rounds, round one being the free for all round, where anyone, from hardcore blacksters to asians dudes with nerdy specs can compete, the winner gets to go on to a one-on-one match with the winner from the other side of town, as I'm sure you can imagine all rounds go like this.
"Your mother is, so black, I turned out the lights and couldn't see her." "Yo Momma so asian, she walks out side and peeps asked where she got a full body raincoat" One-on-One Rounds - Next the one-on-one matches begin, the winner getting some "Cash Moooney" and dying a little on the inside, because this was and is their greatest accopmlishment.
Sometime within the match
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Contents
1 What some famous people have to say about your mom
2 Fun facts about your mom
3 Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom
4 Also...
5 Allegations about your mom
6 In other countries
6.1 Scotland
6.2 Australia
6.3 Nowhere
6.4 South Africa
6.5 Other uses
6.6 Dictionary Definition
7 In popular culture
7.1 Yo Momma
What some famous people have to say about your mom
It's ya mum! Her thighs turn me on!“Your Mom goes to college!”
~ Kip Dynamite on Your Mom
“I weigh 47 pounds, and she does have an afro with a chin strap!!”
~ your mom's shadow on your mom
“I did have sexual relations with that man”
~ Bill Clinton on Your mom
“I wrote a couple of pieces about your mom”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“The worst sex partner I've ever had, hands down.”
~ Me on Your mom
“You would. Admit it.”
~ Sigmund Freud on Your mom
“*SQUAWK* You would. Admit it.”
~ Parrot on Sigmund Freud
“She's so fat, the escape velocity at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.”
~ Stephen Hawking on Your mom
“I am.”
~ Your mom on Your mom
“Better than a biscuit.”
~ Everyone on your mom
“Your mother is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“Your mom is a delightful woman with whom I enjoy spending time.”
~ The Olsen Twins on Your mom
“Back of the line.”
~ Oscar Wilde on your mom “In Soviet Russia, mom does YOU!!'”
~ Russian Reversal on your mom
“She wouldn't fetch much at my auction!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“All your mom are belong to us.”
~ CATS on your mom
“No no, brother. It's "all of your moms belong to us."”
~ CATS' brother DOGS on your mom
“I created her with a penis.”
~ God on your mom
“I´ll pitty jo' momma!!!.”
~ Mr. T on your mom
“Crikey! It's a monster.”
~ Steve Irwin on your mom
“I can't believe it's not female!”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“I DID YOUR MOM a favor, AND MADE YOU a lunch”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“You're mom is more fun than a Slinky on an Escalator!”
~ Some little girl on your mom
“Your mom is your dad's wife”
~ Captain Obvious on Your mom
“*squawk* Your mom is... *squawk* your dad's...”
~ Dying Random Parrot on Captain Obvious
“I gave that woman the clap”
~ Stewart McDonald on Your mom
Therefore
~ Isaac Newton on your mom
“oh yeah baby”
~ your dad on your mom
“YEAH BABY, YEAH!”
~ Austin Powers on your mom
“Cheap as chips!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“I don't want to work, I want to bang your mom all day.”
~ Todd Rundgren on your mom
"Your mom likes Bush!"
~ Stephen Colbert
“*silence*”
~ Dead Not-So-Random-Anymore Parrot
“What's that coming over the hill, is it your mother?, Is it your mother? ”
~ The Welsh on Your mom
“Your mom's the newest member of the nWo, brother. ”
~ Hulk Hogan on Your mom
“Your mom has been arrested for drug possession and anal rape. Bail is $500.”
~ Meg Griffin on Your mom
“Hey, Eliwood! I fucked your mom!”
~ Hector on Lord Eliwood's mom
“Meh”
~ Teh Cheat on Your mom
“She has a very small penis.”
~ Tiltyu on Eric Cartman's mom
Fun facts about your mom
Never forget to tell Your mom how much you love her.Your momma has eleven fingers and fifteen toes, and still can't count to twenty-six Your mums so fat thea Nasa octually orbits her. Yo momma is so fat, she started the Revolution revolution! Yo momma so fat, when she gets on the scales it says "to be continued..." Yo momma so ugly, she make blind muthafuckas cry Your mom is so stupid she thought that a parental control was an abortion yo momma so fat, she comes from both sides of the family Your mom has a peg leg with a kickstand Your mom has an afro with a chinstrap Your mom is a team killer acording to NYC_bLuNtRoLlEr_444 Your mom listens to Hard House / NRG. Your mom did the UN yesterday. Your mom is symbolized by the element Urmomium Your mom is still a virgin. She will probably remain a virgin unless you hire her a cabana boy. Your mom is somewhat like Helen of Troy, in that her face launched 1000 nuclear weapons, all of which were pointed at her. Interestingly enough, your mom survived the barrage. Your mom shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. Your mom sells her crack for crack. Your mom is the Uncyclopedia:Community Portal -- everyone gets a chance to enter. Your mom was exceedingly popular during a brief period in the 1980s, but then again, what wasn't?
Don't ever let Your Mom give you the evil eye!Using 'Your mom' as a comeback became popular again in the year 2000 thanks to bored Indiana residents who decided that the old 80s joke should be born again for this new "Generation Y.45-802.11bag version 5.1(2800)" Your mom got so high once at a Jimmy Buffett concert that she threw her panties at a stuffed parrot, but that doesn't mean it's okay for you and your friends to waste your lives on the devil weed. Your mom is so fat that people practice by climbing Mt. Everest before they climb her. Your mom is so fat, the astronaughts keep believing there is a dimple on the Earth Your mom is so fat that hundreds of horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly that hundreds of other horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face. Your mom is so stupid she took me to the movie theater to see "Closed For The Season". Your moms breath smells so bad she the reason people grow old and die Your mom can't get a record deal because she doesn't want it enough. Your mom is so stupid she thought that MySpace was a sexual position. Your mom is so stupid she drove on the driveway and parked on the parkway. Your mom is so ugly, yo daddy brings her to work so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. Your mom is so fat she swallowed my mom whole. Speaking of "your mom" and "come backs"... Your mom. Your mom would be horribly upset that you are wasting your life visiting this site. Your mom is so fat, she puts her tits in the overhead compartment on an airplane. Your mom's ass is so fat, that it has its own zip code. Your mom knows you spank the monkey, but loves you anyway. Your mom buys extra soft 3-ply Kleenex because she loves you anyway. Your mom was the 53rd leader of the free world. Your mom was subsequently made the 52nd through 78th states, because she was so fat. Your mom knows all about the monsters in your closet. Your mom owes me money, you douche! Your mom has apparently had sex with everyone you have ever argued with, including herself. Your mom is often confused with G.W.B and Abe Lincoln. I'm sorry, but all of them look like monkeys. Your mom is a creature from outer space. Your mom is outer space Your mom fought JFK in one of the greatest movie epics of all time. Your mom once tried Satanism, but didn't really like it. Your mom went to prom with Merv the Perv. Your mom is the mascot for the University of Arizona. Your mom had Rutgers University for lunch, Princeton University for dinner, and has the University of California as a teddy bear. Your mom is my mom. Am I confusing you? Your mom is like the Moon, big, round, and influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so stupid she failed her GED, while TAKING HER DRIVERS TEST! ZING! Your mom is so fat the city had to dig a hole through her for traffic to pass through. Your mom is so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin. Your mom is so fat, when Chris Farley tried to have sex with her he got lost for six days. When he came back out, he had a pet crab named Alfred. Your mom is so ugly, when she went to McDonalds, they couldn't serve happy meals. Neil Armstrong wasn't the first man on your mum. Your mom is so dumb that she put 20 cents in a parking meter and said "Where the fuck's my gumball?" Your mum - not mom - is so fat that she resides in the USA. Your mom is so fat and ugly and dumb that she would make a bad salesperson at GNC. Your mom is so fat, that when god created the earth and said let there be light he asked your mom to move! Your mom is so fat, that your dad rolled over three times and he was still on top of her. Your 'mom' sat next to everybody at school. Your mum is so fat that I decided to sleep with her, just to say I had. What country is so fat that is makes your mom look slim? None. Well, maybe the United States Of America, but that's beside the point. Your mom is so fat, she influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so old that she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. Your mom is so fat, that when she completes a revolution, time stops! Your mom is so old, her social security number is "I". Your mom is so ugly, she makes my mom look good. Your mom knows what you do right before going to sleep. Your mom is so ugly she doesn't look good at all when it really comes down to it. Your mom's name is actually Harriet. She's a 90 year old part Irish part Samoan woman who is currently leading an underground resitance against the future British Government. Your mom looks like Condoleeza Rice! Your mom is like a brick, flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans. The escape velocity at your mom's surface exceeds 3 * 10^8 m/s. Your mom did not understand the previous comment. It means her mass is roughly 500 times that of Sol, the sun. Your mom is like a vacumm, she sucks, she blows and she gets laid in the closet Wanna know what forever feels like? Try walking around your mom... Your mom is really a grue, who really eats her children, and when she was having you, she was still suffereing from a 9 year hangover, and wasn't able to realise that you were being born. Your lucky that your father wanted fun and to occupy his time, thats why you dont have a little brother. Your momma is so fat that she went to the beach and animal rights activists tried to push her back in the water Your mom is so fat that when she turns around, the half of her thats moving towards you turns blue, and the other half turns red. Your mom makes kitty sad... Your mom's moustache makes kitty scared... I once asked for Your mom's autograph - i thought it was the guy from Lordi Your mom is so stupid she tells YOU your mama jokes. Your mom is so stupid she calls you a son-of-a-bitch. Your mom is so slutty she is your mom and your sister-in-law. Yo momma so fat, she uses the freeway to iron her underwear. Your mum's so ugly she uses a line of make up called "Why Bother!" Your mums so ugly that when she stands on the beach the tide wont come in. Your mom's so stupid she thinks that Cross-Dressing is what you put on your salad. Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom Your Mom is so ugly, someone decided to stop pasting in the words "your mom". Your Mom was good last night and I left her money under the pillow. Your Mom is the Invisible man + Crack Your Mom is Phat.Also, penis. Your Mom gives great hummers! Your Mom has a really nice hat Your Mom has a huge crush on Barry Manilow, and has been mailing him her diary entries weekly for over two decades, doodle-hearts and all. Your Mom only lets your friends over for sleep-overs because she gets a little action with them while you sleep. Your Mom secretly likes the smell of her own flatus. Now you know where you get it from. Your Mom is like a Bowling Ball. She gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, yet she still comes back for more. Your Mom bucked like Bambi in a forest fire while I was riding her last night. I had to grab her love handles with both hands to stay on. No wonder she demanded I tie her to the hood of the SUV before we started. Don't worry, Your Mom is still a virgin. You were a backdoor baby. Your Mom knows the exact come-on line which lead to your conception. Your Mom is really a homeless man living in Iraq. The Government does not want you to know this, so they handed you over to some fat bitch Your Mom thought you were an exceptionally large crap. Your Mom is actually Richard Simmons in disguise. The term motherfucker refers, specifically, to Your Mom. In a year's time, another term, far worse than motherfucker, will gain currency. It will be so scatologically vile that most nations will establish crimes for its usage. It, too, will refer, specifically, to Your Mom. Your Mom is Chief Test Engineer for the Jack Rabbit Massager Corporation. Your Mom wears crotchless panties. And a Peep Hole bra. Your Mom uses duo-balls to relieve the tedium of shopping. Your Mom is so evil, she forced this person to continue putting in the words "your mom". Your mom also enjoys using ben-wa gerbils. Your mom bangs like a shit-house door in a Force 9 gale. Your mom is really Bill Gates. Your mom has a dick. And it's dick is bigger than your dick. Your mom is so fat that she has nine zip codes and none of them border on each other. Your mom is so ugly that the Devil slapped her for smiling and then gouged his eyes out with his pitchfork. Your mom is also Tubgirl. Your mom is in love with Mr. Goatse. Your mom is a cam whore! Your mom eats dead babies. Your mom is so goddamn fat that her NASA sent a space probe to orbit her ass. They never heard from it again. Your mom has a job, and is a respected part of the community. Your mom is so fat, she entered a fat contest and won first, second, and third. Your mom is so fat that Stevie Wonder sees her Your mom isn't really a man. Shes a hermaphrodite. your mom is so old and fat that when she stood up one day she caused the ice age. *your mom is so old she witnessed david killing goliath and she was a waitress at the last supper. your mom is so fat, that when she saw a yellow bus full of white kids go by, she said "stop that twinkie!" Your mom is Barry the Manny your mom is so poor that when i saw her kicking a can down the road, i asked what she was doing.She replied saying i'm moving! Your mom is so disgusting, she is Crystal Pepsi! Your mom was 35 when Jesus was born! Your mom is the age of God! Your mom is poop. Your mom is so fat, her ass has it’s own congressman. (And her congressman was bitch-slapped by Stephen Colbert for being a pussy liberal.) Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the zoo the elephants throw peanuts at her! Your mom is so fat when she walks down the street she walks down the street! Your mom is so emo she saw a run-over squirrel, brought it home, named it George and bragged about it to her whole friends list. Your mom is so fat and emo she cut herself and bled butter. Your mom is so emo she spends $20 on a worn out, vintage looking shirt that was fresh off the shelf at Hot Topic. Your mom is so emo the Grim Reaper had to put out a restraining order. Your mom is so fat, that her period is an exclamation mark! Your mom was, when he made you. your mom is so fat, she cleans her clothes on the driveway Your mom is Russian and stupid, therefore, she thinks you are her. Your mom is so fat, when she is done wiping her ass, the Charmin baby is in its late teens. Your mom has just read this. And she is not amused. Your moms so stupid she sold her car for gas money Also...
Your mom on a regular day.
Your mom on a Good Day.
Your mom on a Really Good Day.
Not your mom.
Allegations about your mom Dear Reader Kyle Rainforth Is A BITCH!!!!! So is Jonny Shoring You have two dads. And both of them are gay. With each other. Your two dads are George W Bush and Sadam Hussein Suzie has four dads. Five are in shallow graves. How many dads are you? Your mother has had sexual relations with all your base. Your mother tried to hang herself with a cordless phone. Your mom Is Darth Vader My other car is your mom. (OHHH! DISSED!) My other mom is your car. (!DESSID !HHHO) Your mom is a necrophiliac Your mom lost her viginity to a bucking bronco Your mom lost her virginity to you... So you are a bucking bronco and I lost my virginity to a bucking bronco. Fortunately, not all aligations are true. And these jokes suck balls. Your mum had sex with your dad, same with your neighbours mum. Your mother is from the plannet Endor and is a Wookie Your mom looks like a hoe In other countries Scotland 'Your maw' is a Scottish colloquialism that derives from the phrase 'Your Mother'. Originally a phrase in English used to indicated someone’s birth parent, this Scottish version is most commonly used as way to put down people who have wronged you (or fucked you off as the natives would put it).
Examples of the phrases use are the following:
"Shut up ya baw bag or i'll beat you so hard your maw will feel it!" "I'm ge'in so fat 'cause a'time i have your maw she geez me a sandwich." It can also be used in place of the common phrase 'Fuck Off' to end an argument:
Speaker 1: "You are a toetal dick by the whay!" Speaker 2: "You wheesht or i'll end you ya baw sack!!" Speaker 1: "Whituver ya wee fanny!" Speaker 2: *as dismissal* "Pshhh, your maw!" People should however be wary of using it in the latter sence as it will often lead to what is affectionately known as a Glasgow Kiss or if in certain parts of Govan, a Glessing.
Australia Your Mum
Nowhere (Also known as Norway)
Mora di er mann, og faren din er homo. Ha ha ha.
wait for your little yellow Babelfish to zdecode this gibberish* Your mom is a man and your dad is gay. Pancakes.
South Africa 'Jou ma' is a common phrase used to rebut an argument. It is often used in conjunction with 'se poes' or 'se gat' to form the often heard 'Jou ma se poes!' or 'Jou ma se gat!' which roughly translated means 'Your moms vagina' and 'Your moms asshole!' respectivly, although the former is the one more often used.
Other uses Your mom is also used in as a lazy phrase to indicate someone having had sexual intercourse with an adversary’s mother. This is used often in cajoling and in defensive/offensive verbal banter between neds (who's natural habitats include Glasgow, Edinburgh and All of England; though English neds are weaklings and hardly worth counting) that often results in a battling not too dissimilar to that portrayed in the cartoon Pokemon. The battling invariably ends in one neds humiliation at which point he will run home to aforementioned 'sexually abused mother' to grass up who has just clattered him and stained his Fila trackies with grass, pish and bucky. If people are feeling particularly intelligent that day then the phrase can be used as a way of turning the conversation around on the other person. e.g.
person 1: “Hey, you poked a hole in my balloon! I hate you!” person 2: “I poked a hole in your mom last night.” Dictionary Definition "wen ppl hav nothin better 2 offend ppl, they refer 2 'your mom' meaning your mam, they are trying to say they have shagged her basically" quoted from the Urban Dictionary. "Ay your mom:- I don't believe you." quoted from the BBC site. "AAAA AAA" - AAAAAAAAA! "Jou Ma" - Afrikaans "Dei Muada" - Austrian "J0|2 (V)0(V)" - Leet "Je Moeder" - Dutch "Yo Momma" - Ebonics "Ta Mère" - French "???? ????" - Russian "Tvoja mama" - Slovene "Deine Mutter" - German "??? ???" or "????'?" - Really Bad Hebrew "? ?????? ???" - Greek "La Vostra Madre" - Italian "Your Mother" - England - English "Dirka dirka' - Arabic "Anyád" - Hungarian "Do Mháthair" - Irish "Omm tieg?ek" - Maltese "Mora di" or "mor di" - Norwegian "Twoja Stara" - Polish "A Tua Mãe" - Portuguese; "Sua Mãe" (Brazillian) "???? ????" or "???? ????!" - Russian "Tu Madre" - Spanish; "Tu Vieja" (Spanish slang) "?? ???" - Arabic "??????" - Japanese "???" - Korean "???" - Chinese "InnaMOY" - Tagalog "Ya Mum - Australian "Sun Mutsis" - Finnish "Din Mamma!" - Swedish "Tavo motuže." - Lithuanian "Ma(-ta aia curva si cheala" - Româna( "Din mor" - Danish "?????? ?????" - Bulgarian "Senin annen" - Turkish "Tu Jefa" or "Tu Mama" - Modern Mexican "Mama kau" - Malaysian Malay "Tua mater" - Latin "Sinu ema!" - Estonian In popular culture Yo Momma Yo Momma is a television series created by George Dubya Bush himself to destroy any credibility our nation has left by lowering our already pathetically low standards of entertainment. Also it airs on MTV2 and maybe MTV Sometimes.
Overview - The show Itself is hosted by a perennial jackass named Wimer Valderama. This man from what experts have gathered is a bastard child. In the Show contestants compete by, "Slinging their Slander" at each other, these jokes don't have to be about the other contestants' mothers but you get extra points if you can tell a 'Yo Momma' joke without looking like an asshole. For Example:
Yo Momma so fat, she's... really fuckin' fat, dawg.
Round One - The show is divided into rounds, round one being the free for all round, where anyone, from hardcore blacksters to asians dudes with nerdy specs can compete, the winner gets to go on to a one-on-one match with the winner from the other side of town, as I'm sure you can imagine all rounds go like this.
"Your mother is, so black, I turned out the lights and couldn't see her." "Yo Momma so asian, she walks out side and peeps asked where she got a full body raincoat" One-on-One Rounds - Next the one-on-one matches begin, the winner getting some "Cash Moooney" and dying a little on the inside, because this was and is their greatest accopmlishment.
Sometime within the match
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Contents
1 What some famous people have to say about your mom
2 Fun facts about your mom
3 Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom
4 Also...
5 Allegations about your mom
6 In other countries
6.1 Scotland
6.2 Australia
6.3 Nowhere
6.4 South Africa
6.5 Other uses
6.6 Dictionary Definition
7 In popular culture
7.1 Yo Momma
What some famous people have to say about your mom
It's ya mum! Her thighs turn me on!“Your Mom goes to college!”
~ Kip Dynamite on Your Mom
“I weigh 47 pounds, and she does have an afro with a chin strap!!”
~ your mom's shadow on your mom
“I did have sexual relations with that man”
~ Bill Clinton on Your mom
“I wrote a couple of pieces about your mom”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“The worst sex partner I've ever had, hands down.”
~ Me on Your mom
“You would. Admit it.”
~ Sigmund Freud on Your mom
“*SQUAWK* You would. Admit it.”
~ Parrot on Sigmund Freud
“She's so fat, the escape velocity at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.”
~ Stephen Hawking on Your mom
“I am.”
~ Your mom on Your mom
“Better than a biscuit.”
~ Everyone on your mom
“Your mother is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“Your mom is a delightful woman with whom I enjoy spending time.”
~ The Olsen Twins on Your mom
“Back of the line.”
~ Oscar Wilde on your mom “In Soviet Russia, mom does YOU!!'”
~ Russian Reversal on your mom
“She wouldn't fetch much at my auction!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“All your mom are belong to us.”
~ CATS on your mom
“No no, brother. It's "all of your moms belong to us."”
~ CATS' brother DOGS on your mom
“I created her with a penis.”
~ God on your mom
“I´ll pitty jo' momma!!!.”
~ Mr. T on your mom
“Crikey! It's a monster.”
~ Steve Irwin on your mom
“I can't believe it's not female!”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“I DID YOUR MOM a favor, AND MADE YOU a lunch”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“You're mom is more fun than a Slinky on an Escalator!”
~ Some little girl on your mom
“Your mom is your dad's wife”
~ Captain Obvious on Your mom
“*squawk* Your mom is... *squawk* your dad's...”
~ Dying Random Parrot on Captain Obvious
“I gave that woman the clap”
~ Stewart McDonald on Your mom
Therefore
~ Isaac Newton on your mom
“oh yeah baby”
~ your dad on your mom
“YEAH BABY, YEAH!”
~ Austin Powers on your mom
“Cheap as chips!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“I don't want to work, I want to bang your mom all day.”
~ Todd Rundgren on your mom
"Your mom likes Bush!"
~ Stephen Colbert
“*silence*”
~ Dead Not-So-Random-Anymore Parrot
“What's that coming over the hill, is it your mother?, Is it your mother? ”
~ The Welsh on Your mom
“Your mom's the newest member of the nWo, brother. ”
~ Hulk Hogan on Your mom
“Your mom has been arrested for drug possession and anal rape. Bail is $500.”
~ Meg Griffin on Your mom
“Hey, Eliwood! I fucked your mom!”
~ Hector on Lord Eliwood's mom
“Meh”
~ Teh Cheat on Your mom
“She has a very small penis.”
~ Tiltyu on Eric Cartman's mom
Fun facts about your mom
Never forget to tell Your mom how much you love her.Your momma has eleven fingers and fifteen toes, and still can't count to twenty-six Your mums so fat thea Nasa octually orbits her. Yo momma is so fat, she started the Revolution revolution! Yo momma so fat, when she gets on the scales it says "to be continued..." Yo momma so ugly, she make blind muthafuckas cry Your mom is so stupid she thought that a parental control was an abortion yo momma so fat, she comes from both sides of the family Your mom has a peg leg with a kickstand Your mom has an afro with a chinstrap Your mom is a team killer acording to NYC_bLuNtRoLlEr_444 Your mom listens to Hard House / NRG. Your mom did the UN yesterday. Your mom is symbolized by the element Urmomium Your mom is still a virgin. She will probably remain a virgin unless you hire her a cabana boy. Your mom is somewhat like Helen of Troy, in that her face launched 1000 nuclear weapons, all of which were pointed at her. Interestingly enough, your mom survived the barrage. Your mom shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. Your mom sells her crack for crack. Your mom is the Uncyclopedia:Community Portal -- everyone gets a chance to enter. Your mom was exceedingly popular during a brief period in the 1980s, but then again, what wasn't?
Don't ever let Your Mom give you the evil eye!Using 'Your mom' as a comeback became popular again in the year 2000 thanks to bored Indiana residents who decided that the old 80s joke should be born again for this new "Generation Y.45-802.11bag version 5.1(2800)" Your mom got so high once at a Jimmy Buffett concert that she threw her panties at a stuffed parrot, but that doesn't mean it's okay for you and your friends to waste your lives on the devil weed. Your mom is so fat that people practice by climbing Mt. Everest before they climb her. Your mom is so fat, the astronaughts keep believing there is a dimple on the Earth Your mom is so fat that hundreds of horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly that hundreds of other horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face. Your mom is so stupid she took me to the movie theater to see "Closed For The Season". Your moms breath smells so bad she the reason people grow old and die Your mom can't get a record deal because she doesn't want it enough. Your mom is so stupid she thought that MySpace was a sexual position. Your mom is so stupid she drove on the driveway and parked on the parkway. Your mom is so ugly, yo daddy brings her to work so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. Your mom is so fat she swallowed my mom whole. Speaking of "your mom" and "come backs"... Your mom. Your mom would be horribly upset that you are wasting your life visiting this site. Your mom is so fat, she puts her tits in the overhead compartment on an airplane. Your mom's ass is so fat, that it has its own zip code. Your mom knows you spank the monkey, but loves you anyway. Your mom buys extra soft 3-ply Kleenex because she loves you anyway. Your mom was the 53rd leader of the free world. Your mom was subsequently made the 52nd through 78th states, because she was so fat. Your mom knows all about the monsters in your closet. Your mom owes me money, you douche! Your mom has apparently had sex with everyone you have ever argued with, including herself. Your mom is often confused with G.W.B and Abe Lincoln. I'm sorry, but all of them look like monkeys. Your mom is a creature from outer space. Your mom is outer space Your mom fought JFK in one of the greatest movie epics of all time. Your mom once tried Satanism, but didn't really like it. Your mom went to prom with Merv the Perv. Your mom is the mascot for the University of Arizona. Your mom had Rutgers University for lunch, Princeton University for dinner, and has the University of California as a teddy bear. Your mom is my mom. Am I confusing you? Your mom is like the Moon, big, round, and influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so stupid she failed her GED, while TAKING HER DRIVERS TEST! ZING! Your mom is so fat the city had to dig a hole through her for traffic to pass through. Your mom is so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin. Your mom is so fat, when Chris Farley tried to have sex with her he got lost for six days. When he came back out, he had a pet crab named Alfred. Your mom is so ugly, when she went to McDonalds, they couldn't serve happy meals. Neil Armstrong wasn't the first man on your mum. Your mom is so dumb that she put 20 cents in a parking meter and said "Where the fuck's my gumball?" Your mum - not mom - is so fat that she resides in the USA. Your mom is so fat and ugly and dumb that she would make a bad salesperson at GNC. Your mom is so fat, that when god created the earth and said let there be light he asked your mom to move! Your mom is so fat, that your dad rolled over three times and he was still on top of her. Your 'mom' sat next to everybody at school. Your mum is so fat that I decided to sleep with her, just to say I had. What country is so fat that is makes your mom look slim? None. Well, maybe the United States Of America, but that's beside the point. Your mom is so fat, she influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so old that she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. Your mom is so fat, that when she completes a revolution, time stops! Your mom is so old, her social security number is "I". Your mom is so ugly, she makes my mom look good. Your mom knows what you do right before going to sleep. Your mom is so ugly she doesn't look good at all when it really comes down to it. Your mom's name is actually Harriet. She's a 90 year old part Irish part Samoan woman who is currently leading an underground resitance against the future British Government. Your mom looks like Condoleeza Rice! Your mom is like a brick, flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans. The escape velocity at your mom's surface exceeds 3 * 10^8 m/s. Your mom did not understand the previous comment. It means her mass is roughly 500 times that of Sol, the sun. Your mom is like a vacumm, she sucks, she blows and she gets laid in the closet Wanna know what forever feels like? Try walking around your mom... Your mom is really a grue, who really eats her children, and when she was having you, she was still suffereing from a 9 year hangover, and wasn't able to realise that you were being born. Your lucky that your father wanted fun and to occupy his time, thats why you dont have a little brother. Your momma is so fat that she went to the beach and animal rights activists tried to push her back in the water Your mom is so fat that when she turns around, the half of her thats moving towards you turns blue, and the other half turns red. Your mom makes kitty sad... Your mom's moustache makes kitty scared... I once asked for Your mom's autograph - i thought it was the guy from Lordi Your mom is so stupid she tells YOU your mama jokes. Your mom is so stupid she calls you a son-of-a-bitch. Your mom is so slutty she is your mom and your sister-in-law. Yo momma so fat, she uses the freeway to iron her underwear. Your mum's so ugly she uses a line of make up called "Why Bother!" Your mums so ugly that when she stands on the beach the tide wont come in. Your mom's so stupid she thinks that Cross-Dressing is what you put on your salad. Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom Your Mom is so ugly, someone decided to stop pasting in the words "your mom". Your Mom was good last night and I left her money under the pillow. Your Mom is the Invisible man + Crack Your Mom is Phat.Also, penis. Your Mom gives great hummers! Your Mom has a really nice hat Your Mom has a huge crush on Barry Manilow, and has been mailing him her diary entries weekly for over two decades, doodle-hearts and all. Your Mom only lets your friends over for sleep-overs because she gets a little action with them while you sleep. Your Mom secretly likes the smell of her own flatus. Now you know where you get it from. Your Mom is like a Bowling Ball. She gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, yet she still comes back for more. Your Mom bucked like Bambi in a forest fire while I was riding her last night. I had to grab her love handles with both hands to stay on. No wonder she demanded I tie her to the hood of the SUV before we started. Don't worry, Your Mom is still a virgin. You were a backdoor baby. Your Mom knows the exact come-on line which lead to your conception. Your Mom is really a homeless man living in Iraq. The Government does not want you to know this, so they handed you over to some fat bitch Your Mom thought you were an exceptionally large crap. Your Mom is actually Richard Simmons in disguise. The term motherfucker refers, specifically, to Your Mom. In a year's time, another term, far worse than motherfucker, will gain currency. It will be so scatologically vile that most nations will establish crimes for its usage. It, too, will refer, specifically, to Your Mom. Your Mom is Chief Test Engineer for the Jack Rabbit Massager Corporation. Your Mom wears crotchless panties. And a Peep Hole bra. Your Mom uses duo-balls to relieve the tedium of shopping. Your Mom is so evil, she forced this person to continue putting in the words "your mom". Your mom also enjoys using ben-wa gerbils. Your mom bangs like a shit-house door in a Force 9 gale. Your mom is really Bill Gates. Your mom has a dick. And it's dick is bigger than your dick. Your mom is so fat that she has nine zip codes and none of them border on each other. Your mom is so ugly that the Devil slapped her for smiling and then gouged his eyes out with his pitchfork. Your mom is also Tubgirl. Your mom is in love with Mr. Goatse. Your mom is a cam whore! Your mom eats dead babies. Your mom is so goddamn fat that her NASA sent a space probe to orbit her ass. They never heard from it again. Your mom has a job, and is a respected part of the community. Your mom is so fat, she entered a fat contest and won first, second, and third. Your mom is so fat that Stevie Wonder sees her Your mom isn't really a man. Shes a hermaphrodite. your mom is so old and fat that when she stood up one day she caused the ice age. *your mom is so old she witnessed david killing goliath and she was a waitress at the last supper. your mom is so fat, that when she saw a yellow bus full of white kids go by, she said "stop that twinkie!" Your mom is Barry the Manny your mom is so poor that when i saw her kicking a can down the road, i asked what she was doing.She replied saying i'm moving! Your mom is so disgusting, she is Crystal Pepsi! Your mom was 35 when Jesus was born! Your mom is the age of God! Your mom is poop. Your mom is so fat, her ass has it’s own congressman. (And her congressman was bitch-slapped by Stephen Colbert for being a pussy liberal.) Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the zoo the elephants throw peanuts at her! Your mom is so fat when she walks down the street she walks down the street! Your mom is so emo she saw a run-over squirrel, brought it home, named it George and bragged about it to her whole friends list. Your mom is so fat and emo she cut herself and bled butter. Your mom is so emo she spends $20 on a worn out, vintage looking shirt that was fresh off the shelf at Hot Topic. Your mom is so emo the Grim Reaper had to put out a restraining order. Your mom is so fat, that her period is an exclamation mark! Your mom was, when he made you. your mom is so fat, she cleans her clothes on the driveway Your mom is Russian and stupid, therefore, she thinks you are her. Your mom is so fat, when she is done wiping her ass, the Charmin baby is in its late teens. Your mom has just read this. And she is not amused. Your moms so stupid she sold her car for gas money Also...
Your mom on a regular day.
Your mom on a Good Day.
Your mom on a Really Good Day.
Not your mom.
Allegations about your mom Dear Reader Kyle Rainforth Is A BITCH!!!!! So is Jonny Shoring You have two dads. And both of them are gay. With each other. Your two dads are George W Bush and Sadam Hussein Suzie has four dads. Five are in shallow graves. How many dads are you? Your mother has had sexual relations with all your base. Your mother tried to hang herself with a cordless phone. Your mom Is Darth Vader My other car is your mom. (OHHH! DISSED!) My other mom is your car. (!DESSID !HHHO) Your mom is a necrophiliac Your mom lost her viginity to a bucking bronco Your mom lost her virginity to you... So you are a bucking bronco and I lost my virginity to a bucking bronco. Fortunately, not all aligations are true. And these jokes suck balls. Your mum had sex with your dad, same with your neighbours mum. Your mother is from the plannet Endor and is a Wookie Your mom looks like a hoe In other countries Scotland 'Your maw' is a Scottish colloquialism that derives from the phrase 'Your Mother'. Originally a phrase in English used to indicated someone’s birth parent, this Scottish version is most commonly used as way to put down people who have wronged you (or fucked you off as the natives would put it).
Examples of the phrases use are the following:
"Shut up ya baw bag or i'll beat you so hard your maw will feel it!" "I'm ge'in so fat 'cause a'time i have your maw she geez me a sandwich." It can also be used in place of the common phrase 'Fuck Off' to end an argument:
Speaker 1: "You are a toetal dick by the whay!" Speaker 2: "You wheesht or i'll end you ya baw sack!!" Speaker 1: "Whituver ya wee fanny!" Speaker 2: *as dismissal* "Pshhh, your maw!" People should however be wary of using it in the latter sence as it will often lead to what is affectionately known as a Glasgow Kiss or if in certain parts of Govan, a Glessing.
Australia Your Mum
Nowhere (Also known as Norway)
Mora di er mann, og faren din er homo. Ha ha ha.
wait for your little yellow Babelfish to zdecode this gibberish* Your mom is a man and your dad is gay. Pancakes.
South Africa 'Jou ma' is a common phrase used to rebut an argument. It is often used in conjunction with 'se poes' or 'se gat' to form the often heard 'Jou ma se poes!' or 'Jou ma se gat!' which roughly translated means 'Your moms vagina' and 'Your moms asshole!' respectivly, although the former is the one more often used.
Other uses Your mom is also used in as a lazy phrase to indicate someone having had sexual intercourse with an adversary’s mother. This is used often in cajoling and in defensive/offensive verbal banter between neds (who's natural habitats include Glasgow, Edinburgh and All of England; though English neds are weaklings and hardly worth counting) that often results in a battling not too dissimilar to that portrayed in the cartoon Pokemon. The battling invariably ends in one neds humiliation at which point he will run home to aforementioned 'sexually abused mother' to grass up who has just clattered him and stained his Fila trackies with grass, pish and bucky. If people are feeling particularly intelligent that day then the phrase can be used as a way of turning the conversation around on the other person. e.g.
person 1: “Hey, you poked a hole in my balloon! I hate you!” person 2: “I poked a hole in your mom last night.” Dictionary Definition "wen ppl hav nothin better 2 offend ppl, they refer 2 'your mom' meaning your mam, they are trying to say they have shagged her basically" quoted from the Urban Dictionary. "Ay your mom:- I don't believe you." quoted from the BBC site. "AAAA AAA" - AAAAAAAAA! "Jou Ma" - Afrikaans "Dei Muada" - Austrian "J0|2 (V)0(V)" - Leet "Je Moeder" - Dutch "Yo Momma" - Ebonics "Ta Mère" - French "???? ????" - Russian "Tvoja mama" - Slovene "Deine Mutter" - German "??? ???" or "????'?" - Really Bad Hebrew "? ?????? ???" - Greek "La Vostra Madre" - Italian "Your Mother" - England - English "Dirka dirka' - Arabic "Anyád" - Hungarian "Do Mháthair" - Irish "Omm tieg?ek" - Maltese "Mora di" or "mor di" - Norwegian "Twoja Stara" - Polish "A Tua Mãe" - Portuguese; "Sua Mãe" (Brazillian) "???? ????" or "???? ????!" - Russian "Tu Madre" - Spanish; "Tu Vieja" (Spanish slang) "?? ???" - Arabic "??????" - Japanese "???" - Korean "???" - Chinese "InnaMOY" - Tagalog "Ya Mum - Australian "Sun Mutsis" - Finnish "Din Mamma!" - Swedish "Tavo motuže." - Lithuanian "Ma(-ta aia curva si cheala" - Româna( "Din mor" - Danish "?????? ?????" - Bulgarian "Senin annen" - Turkish "Tu Jefa" or "Tu Mama" - Modern Mexican "Mama kau" - Malaysian Malay "Tua mater" - Latin "Sinu ema!" - Estonian In popular culture Yo Momma Yo Momma is a television series created by George Dubya Bush himself to destroy any credibility our nation has left by lowering our already pathetically low standards of entertainment. Also it airs on MTV2 and maybe MTV Sometimes.
Overview - The show Itself is hosted by a perennial jackass named Wimer Valderama. This man from what experts have gathered is a bastard child. In the Show contestants compete by, "Slinging their Slander" at each other, these jokes don't have to be about the other contestants' mothers but you get extra points if you can tell a 'Yo Momma' joke without looking like an asshole. For Example:
Yo Momma so fat, she's... really fuckin' fat, dawg.
Round One - The show is divided into rounds, round one being the free for all round, where anyone, from hardcore blacksters to asians dudes with nerdy specs can compete, the winner gets to go on to a one-on-one match with the winner from the other side of town, as I'm sure you can imagine all rounds go like this.
"Your mother is, so black, I turned out the lights and couldn't see her." "Yo Momma so asian, she walks out side and peeps asked where she got a full body raincoat" One-on-One Rounds - Next the one-on-one matches begin, the winner getting some "Cash Moooney" and dying a little on the inside, because this was and is their greatest accopmlishment.
Sometime within the match
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NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!
The article you are looking at may not be work safe! If a boss or coworker saw this article, claim that it was spam and blame the IT guys. Otherwise, continue to read it until your lewd urges are sated. For those without comedic tastes, the so-called-experts at Misplaced Pages have an article about Your mom. PIECE OF CRAP WARNING!
This page is a piece of crap. The author acknowledges this.
Contents
1 What some famous people have to say about your mom
2 Fun facts about your mom
3 Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom
4 Also...
5 Allegations about your mom
6 In other countries
6.1 Scotland
6.2 Australia
6.3 Nowhere
6.4 South Africa
6.5 Other uses
6.6 Dictionary Definition
7 In popular culture
7.1 Yo Momma
What some famous people have to say about your mom
It's ya mum! Her thighs turn me on!“Your Mom goes to college!”
~ Kip Dynamite on Your Mom
“I weigh 47 pounds, and she does have an afro with a chin strap!!”
~ your mom's shadow on your mom
“I did have sexual relations with that man”
~ Bill Clinton on Your mom
“I wrote a couple of pieces about your mom”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“The worst sex partner I've ever had, hands down.”
~ Me on Your mom
“You would. Admit it.”
~ Sigmund Freud on Your mom
“*SQUAWK* You would. Admit it.”
~ Parrot on Sigmund Freud
“She's so fat, the escape velocity at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.”
~ Stephen Hawking on Your mom
“I am.”
~ Your mom on Your mom
“Better than a biscuit.”
~ Everyone on your mom
“Your mother is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“Your mom is a delightful woman with whom I enjoy spending time.”
~ The Olsen Twins on Your mom
“Back of the line.”
~ Oscar Wilde on your mom “In Soviet Russia, mom does YOU!!'”
~ Russian Reversal on your mom
“She wouldn't fetch much at my auction!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“All your mom are belong to us.”
~ CATS on your mom
“No no, brother. It's "all of your moms belong to us."”
~ CATS' brother DOGS on your mom
“I created her with a penis.”
~ God on your mom
“I´ll pitty jo' momma!!!.”
~ Mr. T on your mom
“Crikey! It's a monster.”
~ Steve Irwin on your mom
“I can't believe it's not female!”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“I DID YOUR MOM a favor, AND MADE YOU a lunch”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“You're mom is more fun than a Slinky on an Escalator!”
~ Some little girl on your mom
“Your mom is your dad's wife”
~ Captain Obvious on Your mom
“*squawk* Your mom is... *squawk* your dad's...”
~ Dying Random Parrot on Captain Obvious
“I gave that woman the clap”
~ Stewart McDonald on Your mom
Therefore
~ Isaac Newton on your mom
“oh yeah baby”
~ your dad on your mom
“YEAH BABY, YEAH!”
~ Austin Powers on your mom
“Cheap as chips!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“I don't want to work, I want to bang your mom all day.”
~ Todd Rundgren on your mom
"Your mom likes Bush!"
~ Stephen Colbert
“*silence*”
~ Dead Not-So-Random-Anymore Parrot
“What's that coming over the hill, is it your mother?, Is it your mother? ”
~ The Welsh on Your mom
“Your mom's the newest member of the nWo, brother. ”
~ Hulk Hogan on Your mom
“Your mom has been arrested for drug possession and anal rape. Bail is $500.”
~ Meg Griffin on Your mom
“Hey, Eliwood! I fucked your mom!”
~ Hector on Lord Eliwood's mom
“Meh”
~ Teh Cheat on Your mom
“She has a very small penis.”
~ Tiltyu on Eric Cartman's mom
Fun facts about your mom
Never forget to tell Your mom how much you love her.Your momma has eleven fingers and fifteen toes, and still can't count to twenty-six Your mums so fat thea Nasa octually orbits her. Yo momma is so fat, she started the Revolution revolution! Yo momma so fat, when she gets on the scales it says "to be continued..." Yo momma so ugly, she make blind muthafuckas cry Your mom is so stupid she thought that a parental control was an abortion yo momma so fat, she comes from both sides of the family Your mom has a peg leg with a kickstand Your mom has an afro with a chinstrap Your mom is a team killer acording to NYC_bLuNtRoLlEr_444 Your mom listens to Hard House / NRG. Your mom did the UN yesterday. Your mom is symbolized by the element Urmomium Your mom is still a virgin. She will probably remain a virgin unless you hire her a cabana boy. Your mom is somewhat like Helen of Troy, in that her face launched 1000 nuclear weapons, all of which were pointed at her. Interestingly enough, your mom survived the barrage. Your mom shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. Your mom sells her crack for crack. Your mom is the Uncyclopedia:Community Portal -- everyone gets a chance to enter. Your mom was exceedingly popular during a brief period in the 1980s, but then again, what wasn't?
Don't ever let Your Mom give you the evil eye!Using 'Your mom' as a comeback became popular again in the year 2000 thanks to bored Indiana residents who decided that the old 80s joke should be born again for this new "Generation Y.45-802.11bag version 5.1(2800)" Your mom got so high once at a Jimmy Buffett concert that she threw her panties at a stuffed parrot, but that doesn't mean it's okay for you and your friends to waste your lives on the devil weed. Your mom is so fat that people practice by climbing Mt. Everest before they climb her. Your mom is so fat, the astronaughts keep believing there is a dimple on the Earth Your mom is so fat that hundreds of horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly that hundreds of other horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face. Your mom is so stupid she took me to the movie theater to see "Closed For The Season". Your moms breath smells so bad she the reason people grow old and die Your mom can't get a record deal because she doesn't want it enough. Your mom is so stupid she thought that MySpace was a sexual position. Your mom is so stupid she drove on the driveway and parked on the parkway. Your mom is so ugly, yo daddy brings her to work so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. Your mom is so fat she swallowed my mom whole. Speaking of "your mom" and "come backs"... Your mom. Your mom would be horribly upset that you are wasting your life visiting this site. Your mom is so fat, she puts her tits in the overhead compartment on an airplane. Your mom's ass is so fat, that it has its own zip code. Your mom knows you spank the monkey, but loves you anyway. Your mom buys extra soft 3-ply Kleenex because she loves you anyway. Your mom was the 53rd leader of the free world. Your mom was subsequently made the 52nd through 78th states, because she was so fat. Your mom knows all about the monsters in your closet. Your mom owes me money, you douche! Your mom has apparently had sex with everyone you have ever argued with, including herself. Your mom is often confused with G.W.B and Abe Lincoln. I'm sorry, but all of them look like monkeys. Your mom is a creature from outer space. Your mom is outer space Your mom fought JFK in one of the greatest movie epics of all time. Your mom once tried Satanism, but didn't really like it. Your mom went to prom with Merv the Perv. Your mom is the mascot for the University of Arizona. Your mom had Rutgers University for lunch, Princeton University for dinner, and has the University of California as a teddy bear. Your mom is my mom. Am I confusing you? Your mom is like the Moon, big, round, and influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so stupid she failed her GED, while TAKING HER DRIVERS TEST! ZING! Your mom is so fat the city had to dig a hole through her for traffic to pass through. Your mom is so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin. Your mom is so fat, when Chris Farley tried to have sex with her he got lost for six days. When he came back out, he had a pet crab named Alfred. Your mom is so ugly, when she went to McDonalds, they couldn't serve happy meals. Neil Armstrong wasn't the first man on your mum. Your mom is so dumb that she put 20 cents in a parking meter and said "Where the fuck's my gumball?" Your mum - not mom - is so fat that she resides in the USA. Your mom is so fat and ugly and dumb that she would make a bad salesperson at GNC. Your mom is so fat, that when god created the earth and said let there be light he asked your mom to move! Your mom is so fat, that your dad rolled over three times and he was still on top of her. Your 'mom' sat next to everybody at school. Your mum is so fat that I decided to sleep with her, just to say I had. What country is so fat that is makes your mom look slim? None. Well, maybe the United States Of America, but that's beside the point. Your mom is so fat, she influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so old that she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. Your mom is so fat, that when she completes a revolution, time stops! Your mom is so old, her social security number is "I". Your mom is so ugly, she makes my mom look good. Your mom knows what you do right before going to sleep. Your mom is so ugly she doesn't look good at all when it really comes down to it. Your mom's name is actually Harriet. She's a 90 year old part Irish part Samoan woman who is currently leading an underground resitance against the future British Government. Your mom looks like Condoleeza Rice! Your mom is like a brick, flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans. The escape velocity at your mom's surface exceeds 3 * 10^8 m/s. Your mom did not understand the previous comment. It means her mass is roughly 500 times that of Sol, the sun. Your mom is like a vacumm, she sucks, she blows and she gets laid in the closet Wanna know what forever feels like? Try walking around your mom... Your mom is really a grue, who really eats her children, and when she was having you, she was still suffereing from a 9 year hangover, and wasn't able to realise that you were being born. Your lucky that your father wanted fun and to occupy his time, thats why you dont have a little brother. Your momma is so fat that she went to the beach and animal rights activists tried to push her back in the water Your mom is so fat that when she turns around, the half of her thats moving towards you turns blue, and the other half turns red. Your mom makes kitty sad... Your mom's moustache makes kitty scared... I once asked for Your mom's autograph - i thought it was the guy from Lordi Your mom is so stupid she tells YOU your mama jokes. Your mom is so stupid she calls you a son-of-a-bitch. Your mom is so slutty she is your mom and your sister-in-law. Yo momma so fat, she uses the freeway to iron her underwear. Your mum's so ugly she uses a line of make up called "Why Bother!" Your mums so ugly that when she stands on the beach the tide wont come in. Your mom's so stupid she thinks that Cross-Dressing is what you put on your salad. Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom Your Mom is so ugly, someone decided to stop pasting in the words "your mom". Your Mom was good last night and I left her money under the pillow. Your Mom is the Invisible man + Crack Your Mom is Phat.Also, penis. Your Mom gives great hummers! Your Mom has a really nice hat Your Mom has a huge crush on Barry Manilow, and has been mailing him her diary entries weekly for over two decades, doodle-hearts and all. Your Mom only lets your friends over for sleep-overs because she gets a little action with them while you sleep. Your Mom secretly likes the smell of her own flatus. Now you know where you get it from. Your Mom is like a Bowling Ball. She gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, yet she still comes back for more. Your Mom bucked like Bambi in a forest fire while I was riding her last night. I had to grab her love handles with both hands to stay on. No wonder she demanded I tie her to the hood of the SUV before we started. Don't worry, Your Mom is still a virgin. You were a backdoor baby. Your Mom knows the exact come-on line which lead to your conception. Your Mom is really a homeless man living in Iraq. The Government does not want you to know this, so they handed you over to some fat bitch Your Mom thought you were an exceptionally large crap. Your Mom is actually Richard Simmons in disguise. The term motherfucker refers, specifically, to Your Mom. In a year's time, another term, far worse than motherfucker, will gain currency. It will be so scatologically vile that most nations will establish crimes for its usage. It, too, will refer, specifically, to Your Mom. Your Mom is Chief Test Engineer for the Jack Rabbit Massager Corporation. Your Mom wears crotchless panties. And a Peep Hole bra. Your Mom uses duo-balls to relieve the tedium of shopping. Your Mom is so evil, she forced this person to continue putting in the words "your mom". Your mom also enjoys using ben-wa gerbils. Your mom bangs like a shit-house door in a Force 9 gale. Your mom is really Bill Gates. Your mom has a dick. And it's dick is bigger than your dick. Your mom is so fat that she has nine zip codes and none of them border on each other. Your mom is so ugly that the Devil slapped her for smiling and then gouged his eyes out with his pitchfork. Your mom is also Tubgirl. Your mom is in love with Mr. Goatse. Your mom is a cam whore! Your mom eats dead babies. Your mom is so goddamn fat that her NASA sent a space probe to orbit her ass. They never heard from it again. Your mom has a job, and is a respected part of the community. Your mom is so fat, she entered a fat contest and won first, second, and third. Your mom is so fat that Stevie Wonder sees her Your mom isn't really a man. Shes a hermaphrodite. your mom is so old and fat that when she stood up one day she caused the ice age. *your mom is so old she witnessed david killing goliath and she was a waitress at the last supper. your mom is so fat, that when she saw a yellow bus full of white kids go by, she said "stop that twinkie!" Your mom is Barry the Manny your mom is so poor that when i saw her kicking a can down the road, i asked what she was doing.She replied saying i'm moving! Your mom is so disgusting, she is Crystal Pepsi! Your mom was 35 when Jesus was born! Your mom is the age of God! Your mom is poop. Your mom is so fat, her ass has it’s own congressman. (And her congressman was bitch-slapped by Stephen Colbert for being a pussy liberal.) Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the zoo the elephants throw peanuts at her! Your mom is so fat when she walks down the street she walks down the street! Your mom is so emo she saw a run-over squirrel, brought it home, named it George and bragged about it to her whole friends list. Your mom is so fat and emo she cut herself and bled butter. Your mom is so emo she spends $20 on a worn out, vintage looking shirt that was fresh off the shelf at Hot Topic. Your mom is so emo the Grim Reaper had to put out a restraining order. Your mom is so fat, that her period is an exclamation mark! Your mom was, when he made you. your mom is so fat, she cleans her clothes on the driveway Your mom is Russian and stupid, therefore, she thinks you are her. Your mom is so fat, when she is done wiping her ass, the Charmin baby is in its late teens. Your mom has just read this. And she is not amused. Your moms so stupid she sold her car for gas money Also...
Your mom on a regular day.
Your mom on a Good Day.
Your mom on a Really Good Day.
Not your mom.
Allegations about your mom Dear Reader Kyle Rainforth Is A BITCH!!!!! So is Jonny Shoring You have two dads. And both of them are gay. With each other. Your two dads are George W Bush and Sadam Hussein Suzie has four dads. Five are in shallow graves. How many dads are you? Your mother has had sexual relations with all your base. Your mother tried to hang herself with a cordless phone. Your mom Is Darth Vader My other car is your mom. (OHHH! DISSED!) My other mom is your car. (!DESSID !HHHO) Your mom is a necrophiliac Your mom lost her viginity to a bucking bronco Your mom lost her virginity to you... So you are a bucking bronco and I lost my virginity to a bucking bronco. Fortunately, not all aligations are true. And these jokes suck balls. Your mum had sex with your dad, same with your neighbours mum. Your mother is from the plannet Endor and is a Wookie Your mom looks like a hoe In other countries Scotland 'Your maw' is a Scottish colloquialism that derives from the phrase 'Your Mother'. Originally a phrase in English used to indicated someone’s birth parent, this Scottish version is most commonly used as way to put down people who have wronged you (or fucked you off as the natives would put it).
Examples of the phrases use are the following:
"Shut up ya baw bag or i'll beat you so hard your maw will feel it!" "I'm ge'in so fat 'cause a'time i have your maw she geez me a sandwich." It can also be used in place of the common phrase 'Fuck Off' to end an argument:
Speaker 1: "You are a toetal dick by the whay!" Speaker 2: "You wheesht or i'll end you ya baw sack!!" Speaker 1: "Whituver ya wee fanny!" Speaker 2: *as dismissal* "Pshhh, your maw!" People should however be wary of using it in the latter sence as it will often lead to what is affectionately known as a Glasgow Kiss or if in certain parts of Govan, a Glessing.
Australia Your Mum
Nowhere (Also known as Norway)
Mora di er mann, og faren din er homo. Ha ha ha.
wait for your little yellow Babelfish to zdecode this gibberish* Your mom is a man and your dad is gay. Pancakes.
South Africa 'Jou ma' is a common phrase used to rebut an argument. It is often used in conjunction with 'se poes' or 'se gat' to form the often heard 'Jou ma se poes!' or 'Jou ma se gat!' which roughly translated means 'Your moms vagina' and 'Your moms asshole!' respectivly, although the former is the one more often used.
Other uses Your mom is also used in as a lazy phrase to indicate someone having had sexual intercourse with an adversary’s mother. This is used often in cajoling and in defensive/offensive verbal banter between neds (who's natural habitats include Glasgow, Edinburgh and All of England; though English neds are weaklings and hardly worth counting) that often results in a battling not too dissimilar to that portrayed in the cartoon Pokemon. The battling invariably ends in one neds humiliation at which point he will run home to aforementioned 'sexually abused mother' to grass up who has just clattered him and stained his Fila trackies with grass, pish and bucky. If people are feeling particularly intelligent that day then the phrase can be used as a way of turning the conversation around on the other person. e.g.
person 1: “Hey, you poked a hole in my balloon! I hate you!” person 2: “I poked a hole in your mom last night.” Dictionary Definition "wen ppl hav nothin better 2 offend ppl, they refer 2 'your mom' meaning your mam, they are trying to say they have shagged her basically" quoted from the Urban Dictionary. "Ay your mom:- I don't believe you." quoted from the BBC site. "AAAA AAA" - AAAAAAAAA! "Jou Ma" - Afrikaans "Dei Muada" - Austrian "J0|2 (V)0(V)" - Leet "Je Moeder" - Dutch "Yo Momma" - Ebonics "Ta Mère" - French "???? ????" - Russian "Tvoja mama" - Slovene "Deine Mutter" - German "??? ???" or "????'?" - Really Bad Hebrew "? ?????? ???" - Greek "La Vostra Madre" - Italian "Your Mother" - England - English "Dirka dirka' - Arabic "Anyád" - Hungarian "Do Mháthair" - Irish "Omm tieg?ek" - Maltese "Mora di" or "mor di" - Norwegian "Twoja Stara" - Polish "A Tua Mãe" - Portuguese; "Sua Mãe" (Brazillian) "???? ????" or "???? ????!" - Russian "Tu Madre" - Spanish; "Tu Vieja" (Spanish slang) "?? ???" - Arabic "??????" - Japanese "???" - Korean "???" - Chinese "InnaMOY" - Tagalog "Ya Mum - Australian "Sun Mutsis" - Finnish "Din Mamma!" - Swedish "Tavo motuže." - Lithuanian "Ma(-ta aia curva si cheala" - Româna( "Din mor" - Danish "?????? ?????" - Bulgarian "Senin annen" - Turkish "Tu Jefa" or "Tu Mama" - Modern Mexican "Mama kau" - Malaysian Malay "Tua mater" - Latin "Sinu ema!" - Estonian In popular culture Yo Momma Yo Momma is a television series created by George Dubya Bush himself to destroy any credibility our nation has left by lowering our already pathetically low standards of entertainment. Also it airs on MTV2 and maybe MTV Sometimes.
Overview - The show Itself is hosted by a perennial jackass named Wimer Valderama. This man from what experts have gathered is a bastard child. In the Show contestants compete by, "Slinging their Slander" at each other, these jokes don't have to be about the other contestants' mothers but you get extra points if you can tell a 'Yo Momma' joke without looking like an asshole. For Example:
Yo Momma so fat, she's... really fuckin' fat, dawg.
Round One - The show is divided into rounds, round one being the free for all round, where anyone, from hardcore blacksters to asians dudes with nerdy specs can compete, the winner gets to go on to a one-on-one match with the winner from the other side of town, as I'm sure you can imagine all rounds go like this.
"Your mother is, so black, I turned out the lights and couldn't see her." "Yo Momma so asian, she walks out side and peeps asked where she got a full body raincoat" One-on-One Rounds - Next the one-on-one matches begin, the winner getting some "Cash Moooney" and dying a little on the inside, because this was and is their greatest accopmlishment.
Sometime within the match
Quasi-Featured Article
This article was nominated to become a featured article; however, due to a voting discrepancy in Florida involving Oprah and half a shaved monkey's buttcheek, it didn't make the cut. It's the thought that counts, right? You can prevent Oprah's nefarious plans from working by voting for other articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/Your_mom" Categories: Not safe for work | Oscar Wildeizms | Quasi-Featured | Inside jokes | Stuff that lonely men masturbate over
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This page was last modified 20:15, 5 December 2006. Content is available under a Creative Commons License. About Uncyclopedia Disclaimers Digg this page Del.icio.us Your mom From Uncyclopedia, the content-💕.
NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!
The article you are looking at may not be work safe! If a boss or coworker saw this article, claim that it was spam and blame the IT guys. Otherwise, continue to read it until your lewd urges are sated. For those without comedic tastes, the so-called-experts at Misplaced Pages have an article about Your mom. PIECE OF CRAP WARNING!
This page is a piece of crap. The author acknowledges this.
Contents
1 What some famous people have to say about your mom
2 Fun facts about your mom
3 Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom
4 Also...
5 Allegations about your mom
6 In other countries
6.1 Scotland
6.2 Australia
6.3 Nowhere
6.4 South Africa
6.5 Other uses
6.6 Dictionary Definition
7 In popular culture
7.1 Yo Momma
What some famous people have to say about your mom
It's ya mum! Her thighs turn me on!“Your Mom goes to college!”
~ Kip Dynamite on Your Mom
“I weigh 47 pounds, and she does have an afro with a chin strap!!”
~ your mom's shadow on your mom
“I did have sexual relations with that man”
~ Bill Clinton on Your mom
“I wrote a couple of pieces about your mom”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“The worst sex partner I've ever had, hands down.”
~ Me on Your mom
“You would. Admit it.”
~ Sigmund Freud on Your mom
“*SQUAWK* You would. Admit it.”
~ Parrot on Sigmund Freud
“She's so fat, the escape velocity at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.”
~ Stephen Hawking on Your mom
“I am.”
~ Your mom on Your mom
“Better than a biscuit.”
~ Everyone on your mom
“Your mother is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“Your mom is a delightful woman with whom I enjoy spending time.”
~ The Olsen Twins on Your mom
“Back of the line.”
~ Oscar Wilde on your mom “In Soviet Russia, mom does YOU!!'”
~ Russian Reversal on your mom
“She wouldn't fetch much at my auction!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“All your mom are belong to us.”
~ CATS on your mom
“No no, brother. It's "all of your moms belong to us."”
~ CATS' brother DOGS on your mom
“I created her with a penis.”
~ God on your mom
“I´ll pitty jo' momma!!!.”
~ Mr. T on your mom
“Crikey! It's a monster.”
~ Steve Irwin on your mom
“I can't believe it's not female!”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“I DID YOUR MOM a favor, AND MADE YOU a lunch”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“You're mom is more fun than a Slinky on an Escalator!”
~ Some little girl on your mom
“Your mom is your dad's wife”
~ Captain Obvious on Your mom
“*squawk* Your mom is... *squawk* your dad's...”
~ Dying Random Parrot on Captain Obvious
“I gave that woman the clap”
~ Stewart McDonald on Your mom
Therefore
~ Isaac Newton on your mom
“oh yeah baby”
~ your dad on your mom
“YEAH BABY, YEAH!”
~ Austin Powers on your mom
“Cheap as chips!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“I don't want to work, I want to bang your mom all day.”
~ Todd Rundgren on your mom
"Your mom likes Bush!"
~ Stephen Colbert
“*silence*”
~ Dead Not-So-Random-Anymore Parrot
“What's that coming over the hill, is it your mother?, Is it your mother? ”
~ The Welsh on Your mom
“Your mom's the newest member of the nWo, brother. ”
~ Hulk Hogan on Your mom
“Your mom has been arrested for drug possession and anal rape. Bail is $500.”
~ Meg Griffin on Your mom
“Hey, Eliwood! I fucked your mom!”
~ Hector on Lord Eliwood's mom
“Meh”
~ Teh Cheat on Your mom
“She has a very small penis.”
~ Tiltyu on Eric Cartman's mom
Fun facts about your mom
Never forget to tell Your mom how much you love her.Your momma has eleven fingers and fifteen toes, and still can't count to twenty-six Your mums so fat thea Nasa octually orbits her. Yo momma is so fat, she started the Revolution revolution! Yo momma so fat, when she gets on the scales it says "to be continued..." Yo momma so ugly, she make blind muthafuckas cry Your mom is so stupid she thought that a parental control was an abortion yo momma so fat, she comes from both sides of the family Your mom has a peg leg with a kickstand Your mom has an afro with a chinstrap Your mom is a team killer acording to NYC_bLuNtRoLlEr_444 Your mom listens to Hard House / NRG. Your mom did the UN yesterday. Your mom is symbolized by the element Urmomium Your mom is still a virgin. She will probably remain a virgin unless you hire her a cabana boy. Your mom is somewhat like Helen of Troy, in that her face launched 1000 nuclear weapons, all of which were pointed at her. Interestingly enough, your mom survived the barrage. Your mom shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. Your mom sells her crack for crack. Your mom is the Uncyclopedia:Community Portal -- everyone gets a chance to enter. Your mom was exceedingly popular during a brief period in the 1980s, but then again, what wasn't?
Don't ever let Your Mom give you the evil eye!Using 'Your mom' as a comeback became popular again in the year 2000 thanks to bored Indiana residents who decided that the old 80s joke should be born again for this new "Generation Y.45-802.11bag version 5.1(2800)" Your mom got so high once at a Jimmy Buffett concert that she threw her panties at a stuffed parrot, but that doesn't mean it's okay for you and your friends to waste your lives on the devil weed. Your mom is so fat that people practice by climbing Mt. Everest before they climb her. Your mom is so fat, the astronaughts keep believing there is a dimple on the Earth Your mom is so fat that hundreds of horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly that hundreds of other horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face. Your mom is so stupid she took me to the movie theater to see "Closed For The Season". Your moms breath smells so bad she the reason people grow old and die Your mom can't get a record deal because she doesn't want it enough. Your mom is so stupid she thought that MySpace was a sexual position. Your mom is so stupid she drove on the driveway and parked on the parkway. Your mom is so ugly, yo daddy brings her to work so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. Your mom is so fat she swallowed my mom whole. Speaking of "your mom" and "come backs"... Your mom. Your mom would be horribly upset that you are wasting your life visiting this site. Your mom is so fat, she puts her tits in the overhead compartment on an airplane. Your mom's ass is so fat, that it has its own zip code. Your mom knows you spank the monkey, but loves you anyway. Your mom buys extra soft 3-ply Kleenex because she loves you anyway. Your mom was the 53rd leader of the free world. Your mom was subsequently made the 52nd through 78th states, because she was so fat. Your mom knows all about the monsters in your closet. Your mom owes me money, you douche! Your mom has apparently had sex with everyone you have ever argued with, including herself. Your mom is often confused with G.W.B and Abe Lincoln. I'm sorry, but all of them look like monkeys. Your mom is a creature from outer space. Your mom is outer space Your mom fought JFK in one of the greatest movie epics of all time. Your mom once tried Satanism, but didn't really like it. Your mom went to prom with Merv the Perv. Your mom is the mascot for the University of Arizona. Your mom had Rutgers University for lunch, Princeton University for dinner, and has the University of California as a teddy bear. Your mom is my mom. Am I confusing you? Your mom is like the Moon, big, round, and influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so stupid she failed her GED, while TAKING HER DRIVERS TEST! ZING! Your mom is so fat the city had to dig a hole through her for traffic to pass through. Your mom is so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin. Your mom is so fat, when Chris Farley tried to have sex with her he got lost for six days. When he came back out, he had a pet crab named Alfred. Your mom is so ugly, when she went to McDonalds, they couldn't serve happy meals. Neil Armstrong wasn't the first man on your mum. Your mom is so dumb that she put 20 cents in a parking meter and said "Where the fuck's my gumball?" Your mum - not mom - is so fat that she resides in the USA. Your mom is so fat and ugly and dumb that she would make a bad salesperson at GNC. Your mom is so fat, that when god created the earth and said let there be light he asked your mom to move! Your mom is so fat, that your dad rolled over three times and he was still on top of her. Your 'mom' sat next to everybody at school. Your mum is so fat that I decided to sleep with her, just to say I had. What country is so fat that is makes your mom look slim? None. Well, maybe the United States Of America, but that's beside the point. Your mom is so fat, she influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so old that she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. Your mom is so fat, that when she completes a revolution, time stops! Your mom is so old, her social security number is "I". Your mom is so ugly, she makes my mom look good. Your mom knows what you do right before going to sleep. Your mom is so ugly she doesn't look good at all when it really comes down to it. Your mom's name is actually Harriet. She's a 90 year old part Irish part Samoan woman who is currently leading an underground resitance against the future British Government. Your mom looks like Condoleeza Rice! Your mom is like a brick, flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans. The escape velocity at your mom's surface exceeds 3 * 10^8 m/s. Your mom did not understand the previous comment. It means her mass is roughly 500 times that of Sol, the sun. Your mom is like a vacumm, she sucks, she blows and she gets laid in the closet Wanna know what forever feels like? Try walking around your mom... Your mom is really a grue, who really eats her children, and when she was having you, she was still suffereing from a 9 year hangover, and wasn't able to realise that you were being born. Your lucky that your father wanted fun and to occupy his time, thats why you dont have a little brother. Your momma is so fat that she went to the beach and animal rights activists tried to push her back in the water Your mom is so fat that when she turns around, the half of her thats moving towards you turns blue, and the other half turns red. Your mom makes kitty sad... Your mom's moustache makes kitty scared... I once asked for Your mom's autograph - i thought it was the guy from Lordi Your mom is so stupid she tells YOU your mama jokes. Your mom is so stupid she calls you a son-of-a-bitch. Your mom is so slutty she is your mom and your sister-in-law. Yo momma so fat, she uses the freeway to iron her underwear. Your mum's so ugly she uses a line of make up called "Why Bother!" Your mums so ugly that when she stands on the beach the tide wont come in. Your mom's so stupid she thinks that Cross-Dressing is what you put on your salad. Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom Your Mom is so ugly, someone decided to stop pasting in the words "your mom". Your Mom was good last night and I left her money under the pillow. Your Mom is the Invisible man + Crack Your Mom is Phat.Also, penis. Your Mom gives great hummers! Your Mom has a really nice hat Your Mom has a huge crush on Barry Manilow, and has been mailing him her diary entries weekly for over two decades, doodle-hearts and all. Your Mom only lets your friends over for sleep-overs because she gets a little action with them while you sleep. Your Mom secretly likes the smell of her own flatus. Now you know where you get it from. Your Mom is like a Bowling Ball. She gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, yet she still comes back for more. Your Mom bucked like Bambi in a forest fire while I was riding her last night. I had to grab her love handles with both hands to stay on. No wonder she demanded I tie her to the hood of the SUV before we started. Don't worry, Your Mom is still a virgin. You were a backdoor baby. Your Mom knows the exact come-on line which lead to your conception. Your Mom is really a homeless man living in Iraq. The Government does not want you to know this, so they handed you over to some fat bitch Your Mom thought you were an exceptionally large crap. Your Mom is actually Richard Simmons in disguise. The term motherfucker refers, specifically, to Your Mom. In a year's time, another term, far worse than motherfucker, will gain currency. It will be so scatologically vile that most nations will establish crimes for its usage. It, too, will refer, specifically, to Your Mom. Your Mom is Chief Test Engineer for the Jack Rabbit Massager Corporation. Your Mom wears crotchless panties. And a Peep Hole bra. Your Mom uses duo-balls to relieve the tedium of shopping. Your Mom is so evil, she forced this person to continue putting in the words "your mom". Your mom also enjoys using ben-wa gerbils. Your mom bangs like a shit-house door in a Force 9 gale. Your mom is really Bill Gates. Your mom has a dick. And it's dick is bigger than your dick. Your mom is so fat that she has nine zip codes and none of them border on each other. Your mom is so ugly that the Devil slapped her for smiling and then gouged his eyes out with his pitchfork. Your mom is also Tubgirl. Your mom is in love with Mr. Goatse. Your mom is a cam whore! Your mom eats dead babies. Your mom is so goddamn fat that her NASA sent a space probe to orbit her ass. They never heard from it again. Your mom has a job, and is a respected part of the community. Your mom is so fat, she entered a fat contest and won first, second, and third. Your mom is so fat that Stevie Wonder sees her Your mom isn't really a man. Shes a hermaphrodite. your mom is so old and fat that when she stood up one day she caused the ice age. *your mom is so old she witnessed david killing goliath and she was a waitress at the last supper. your mom is so fat, that when she saw a yellow bus full of white kids go by, she said "stop that twinkie!" Your mom is Barry the Manny your mom is so poor that when i saw her kicking a can down the road, i asked what she was doing.She replied saying i'm moving! Your mom is so disgusting, she is Crystal Pepsi! Your mom was 35 when Jesus was born! Your mom is the age of God! Your mom is poop. Your mom is so fat, her ass has it’s own congressman. (And her congressman was bitch-slapped by Stephen Colbert for being a pussy liberal.) Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the zoo the elephants throw peanuts at her! Your mom is so fat when she walks down the street she walks down the street! Your mom is so emo she saw a run-over squirrel, brought it home, named it George and bragged about it to her whole friends list. Your mom is so fat and emo she cut herself and bled butter. Your mom is so emo she spends $20 on a worn out, vintage looking shirt that was fresh off the shelf at Hot Topic. Your mom is so emo the Grim Reaper had to put out a restraining order. Your mom is so fat, that her period is an exclamation mark! Your mom was, when he made you. your mom is so fat, she cleans her clothes on the driveway Your mom is Russian and stupid, therefore, she thinks you are her. Your mom is so fat, when she is done wiping her ass, the Charmin baby is in its late teens. Your mom has just read this. And she is not amused. Your moms so stupid she sold her car for gas money Also...
Your mom on a regular day.
Your mom on a Good Day.
Your mom on a Really Good Day.
Not your mom.
Allegations about your mom Dear Reader Kyle Rainforth Is A BITCH!!!!! So is Jonny Shoring You have two dads. And both of them are gay. With each other. Your two dads are George W Bush and Sadam Hussein Suzie has four dads. Five are in shallow graves. How many dads are you? Your mother has had sexual relations with all your base. Your mother tried to hang herself with a cordless phone. Your mom Is Darth Vader My other car is your mom. (OHHH! DISSED!) My other mom is your car. (!DESSID !HHHO) Your mom is a necrophiliac Your mom lost her viginity to a bucking bronco Your mom lost her virginity to you... So you are a bucking bronco and I lost my virginity to a bucking bronco. Fortunately, not all aligations are true. And these jokes suck balls. Your mum had sex with your dad, same with your neighbours mum. Your mother is from the plannet Endor and is a Wookie Your mom looks like a hoe In other countries Scotland 'Your maw' is a Scottish colloquialism that derives from the phrase 'Your Mother'. Originally a phrase in English used to indicated someone’s birth parent, this Scottish version is most commonly used as way to put down people who have wronged you (or fucked you off as the natives would put it).
Examples of the phrases use are the following:
"Shut up ya baw bag or i'll beat you so hard your maw will feel it!" "I'm ge'in so fat 'cause a'time i have your maw she geez me a sandwich." It can also be used in place of the common phrase 'Fuck Off' to end an argument:
Speaker 1: "You are a toetal dick by the whay!" Speaker 2: "You wheesht or i'll end you ya baw sack!!" Speaker 1: "Whituver ya wee fanny!" Speaker 2: *as dismissal* "Pshhh, your maw!" People should however be wary of using it in the latter sence as it will often lead to what is affectionately known as a Glasgow Kiss or if in certain parts of Govan, a Glessing.
Australia Your Mum
Nowhere (Also known as Norway)
Mora di er mann, og faren din er homo. Ha ha ha.
wait for your little yellow Babelfish to zdecode this gibberish* Your mom is a man and your dad is gay. Pancakes.
South Africa 'Jou ma' is a common phrase used to rebut an argument. It is often used in conjunction with 'se poes' or 'se gat' to form the often heard 'Jou ma se poes!' or 'Jou ma se gat!' which roughly translated means 'Your moms vagina' and 'Your moms asshole!' respectivly, although the former is the one more often used.
Other uses Your mom is also used in as a lazy phrase to indicate someone having had sexual intercourse with an adversary’s mother. This is used often in cajoling and in defensive/offensive verbal banter between neds (who's natural habitats include Glasgow, Edinburgh and All of England; though English neds are weaklings and hardly worth counting) that often results in a battling not too dissimilar to that portrayed in the cartoon Pokemon. The battling invariably ends in one neds humiliation at which point he will run home to aforementioned 'sexually abused mother' to grass up who has just clattered him and stained his Fila trackies with grass, pish and bucky. If people are feeling particularly intelligent that day then the phrase can be used as a way of turning the conversation around on the other person. e.g.
person 1: “Hey, you poked a hole in my balloon! I hate you!” person 2: “I poked a hole in your mom last night.” Dictionary Definition "wen ppl hav nothin better 2 offend ppl, they refer 2 'your mom' meaning your mam, they are trying to say they have shagged her basically" quoted from the Urban Dictionary. "Ay your mom:- I don't believe you." quoted from the BBC site. "AAAA AAA" - AAAAAAAAA! "Jou Ma" - Afrikaans "Dei Muada" - Austrian "J0|2 (V)0(V)" - Leet "Je Moeder" - Dutch "Yo Momma" - Ebonics "Ta Mère" - French "???? ????" - Russian "Tvoja mama" - Slovene "Deine Mutter" - German "??? ???" or "????'?" - Really Bad Hebrew "? ?????? ???" - Greek "La Vostra Madre" - Italian "Your Mother" - England - English "Dirka dirka' - Arabic "Anyád" - Hungarian "Do Mháthair" - Irish "Omm tieg?ek" - Maltese "Mora di" or "mor di" - Norwegian "Twoja Stara" - Polish "A Tua Mãe" - Portuguese; "Sua Mãe" (Brazillian) "???? ????" or "???? ????!" - Russian "Tu Madre" - Spanish; "Tu Vieja" (Spanish slang) "?? ???" - Arabic "??????" - Japanese "???" - Korean "???" - Chinese "InnaMOY" - Tagalog "Ya Mum - Australian "Sun Mutsis" - Finnish "Din Mamma!" - Swedish "Tavo motuže." - Lithuanian "Ma(-ta aia curva si cheala" - Româna( "Din mor" - Danish "?????? ?????" - Bulgarian "Senin annen" - Turkish "Tu Jefa" or "Tu Mama" - Modern Mexican "Mama kau" - Malaysian Malay "Tua mater" - Latin "Sinu ema!" - Estonian In popular culture Yo Momma Yo Momma is a television series created by George Dubya Bush himself to destroy any credibility our nation has left by lowering our already pathetically low standards of entertainment. Also it airs on MTV2 and maybe MTV Sometimes.
Overview - The show Itself is hosted by a perennial jackass named Wimer Valderama. This man from what experts have gathered is a bastard child. In the Show contestants compete by, "Slinging their Slander" at each other, these jokes don't have to be about the other contestants' mothers but you get extra points if you can tell a 'Yo Momma' joke without looking like an asshole. For Example:
Yo Momma so fat, she's... really fuckin' fat, dawg.
Round One - The show is divided into rounds, round one being the free for all round, where anyone, from hardcore blacksters to asians dudes with nerdy specs can compete, the winner gets to go on to a one-on-one match with the winner from the other side of town, as I'm sure you can imagine all rounds go like this.
"Your mother is, so black, I turned out the lights and couldn't see her." "Yo Momma so asian, she walks out side and peeps asked where she got a full body raincoat" One-on-One Rounds - Next the one-on-one matches begin, the winner getting some "Cash Moooney" and dying a little on the inside, because this was and is their greatest accopmlishment.
Sometime within the match
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Contents
1 What some famous people have to say about your mom
2 Fun facts about your mom
3 Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom
4 Also...
5 Allegations about your mom
6 In other countries
6.1 Scotland
6.2 Australia
6.3 Nowhere
6.4 South Africa
6.5 Other uses
6.6 Dictionary Definition
7 In popular culture
7.1 Yo Momma
What some famous people have to say about your mom
It's ya mum! Her thighs turn me on!“Your Mom goes to college!”
~ Kip Dynamite on Your Mom
“I weigh 47 pounds, and she does have an afro with a chin strap!!”
~ your mom's shadow on your mom
“I did have sexual relations with that man”
~ Bill Clinton on Your mom
“I wrote a couple of pieces about your mom”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“The worst sex partner I've ever had, hands down.”
~ Me on Your mom
“You would. Admit it.”
~ Sigmund Freud on Your mom
“*SQUAWK* You would. Admit it.”
~ Parrot on Sigmund Freud
“She's so fat, the escape velocity at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.”
~ Stephen Hawking on Your mom
“I am.”
~ Your mom on Your mom
“Better than a biscuit.”
~ Everyone on your mom
“Your mother is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“Your mom is a delightful woman with whom I enjoy spending time.”
~ The Olsen Twins on Your mom
“Back of the line.”
~ Oscar Wilde on your mom “In Soviet Russia, mom does YOU!!'”
~ Russian Reversal on your mom
“She wouldn't fetch much at my auction!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“All your mom are belong to us.”
~ CATS on your mom
“No no, brother. It's "all of your moms belong to us."”
~ CATS' brother DOGS on your mom
“I created her with a penis.”
~ God on your mom
“I´ll pitty jo' momma!!!.”
~ Mr. T on your mom
“Crikey! It's a monster.”
~ Steve Irwin on your mom
“I can't believe it's not female!”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“I DID YOUR MOM a favor, AND MADE YOU a lunch”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“You're mom is more fun than a Slinky on an Escalator!”
~ Some little girl on your mom
“Your mom is your dad's wife”
~ Captain Obvious on Your mom
“*squawk* Your mom is... *squawk* your dad's...”
~ Dying Random Parrot on Captain Obvious
“I gave that woman the clap”
~ Stewart McDonald on Your mom
Therefore
~ Isaac Newton on your mom
“oh yeah baby”
~ your dad on your mom
“YEAH BABY, YEAH!”
~ Austin Powers on your mom
“Cheap as chips!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“I don't want to work, I want to bang your mom all day.”
~ Todd Rundgren on your mom
"Your mom likes Bush!"
~ Stephen Colbert
“*silence*”
~ Dead Not-So-Random-Anymore Parrot
“What's that coming over the hill, is it your mother?, Is it your mother? ”
~ The Welsh on Your mom
“Your mom's the newest member of the nWo, brother. ”
~ Hulk Hogan on Your mom
“Your mom has been arrested for drug possession and anal rape. Bail is $500.”
~ Meg Griffin on Your mom
“Hey, Eliwood! I fucked your mom!”
~ Hector on Lord Eliwood's mom
“Meh”
~ Teh Cheat on Your mom
“She has a very small penis.”
~ Tiltyu on Eric Cartman's mom
Fun facts about your mom
Never forget to tell Your mom how much you love her.Your momma has eleven fingers and fifteen toes, and still can't count to twenty-six Your mums so fat thea Nasa octually orbits her. Yo momma is so fat, she started the Revolution revolution! Yo momma so fat, when she gets on the scales it says "to be continued..." Yo momma so ugly, she make blind muthafuckas cry Your mom is so stupid she thought that a parental control was an abortion yo momma so fat, she comes from both sides of the family Your mom has a peg leg with a kickstand Your mom has an afro with a chinstrap Your mom is a team killer acording to NYC_bLuNtRoLlEr_444 Your mom listens to Hard House / NRG. Your mom did the UN yesterday. Your mom is symbolized by the element Urmomium Your mom is still a virgin. She will probably remain a virgin unless you hire her a cabana boy. Your mom is somewhat like Helen of Troy, in that her face launched 1000 nuclear weapons, all of which were pointed at her. Interestingly enough, your mom survived the barrage. Your mom shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. Your mom sells her crack for crack. Your mom is the Uncyclopedia:Community Portal -- everyone gets a chance to enter. Your mom was exceedingly popular during a brief period in the 1980s, but then again, what wasn't?
Don't ever let Your Mom give you the evil eye!Using 'Your mom' as a comeback became popular again in the year 2000 thanks to bored Indiana residents who decided that the old 80s joke should be born again for this new "Generation Y.45-802.11bag version 5.1(2800)" Your mom got so high once at a Jimmy Buffett concert that she threw her panties at a stuffed parrot, but that doesn't mean it's okay for you and your friends to waste your lives on the devil weed. Your mom is so fat that people practice by climbing Mt. Everest before they climb her. Your mom is so fat, the astronaughts keep believing there is a dimple on the Earth Your mom is so fat that hundreds of horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly that hundreds of other horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face. Your mom is so stupid she took me to the movie theater to see "Closed For The Season". Your moms breath smells so bad she the reason people grow old and die Your mom can't get a record deal because she doesn't want it enough. Your mom is so stupid she thought that MySpace was a sexual position. Your mom is so stupid she drove on the driveway and parked on the parkway. Your mom is so ugly, yo daddy brings her to work so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. Your mom is so fat she swallowed my mom whole. Speaking of "your mom" and "come backs"... Your mom. Your mom would be horribly upset that you are wasting your life visiting this site. Your mom is so fat, she puts her tits in the overhead compartment on an airplane. Your mom's ass is so fat, that it has its own zip code. Your mom knows you spank the monkey, but loves you anyway. Your mom buys extra soft 3-ply Kleenex because she loves you anyway. Your mom was the 53rd leader of the free world. Your mom was subsequently made the 52nd through 78th states, because she was so fat. Your mom knows all about the monsters in your closet. Your mom owes me money, you douche! Your mom has apparently had sex with everyone you have ever argued with, including herself. Your mom is often confused with G.W.B and Abe Lincoln. I'm sorry, but all of them look like monkeys. Your mom is a creature from outer space. Your mom is outer space Your mom fought JFK in one of the greatest movie epics of all time. Your mom once tried Satanism, but didn't really like it. Your mom went to prom with Merv the Perv. Your mom is the mascot for the University of Arizona. Your mom had Rutgers University for lunch, Princeton University for dinner, and has the University of California as a teddy bear. Your mom is my mom. Am I confusing you? Your mom is like the Moon, big, round, and influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so stupid she failed her GED, while TAKING HER DRIVERS TEST! ZING! Your mom is so fat the city had to dig a hole through her for traffic to pass through. Your mom is so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin. Your mom is so fat, when Chris Farley tried to have sex with her he got lost for six days. When he came back out, he had a pet crab named Alfred. Your mom is so ugly, when she went to McDonalds, they couldn't serve happy meals. Neil Armstrong wasn't the first man on your mum. Your mom is so dumb that she put 20 cents in a parking meter and said "Where the fuck's my gumball?" Your mum - not mom - is so fat that she resides in the USA. Your mom is so fat and ugly and dumb that she would make a bad salesperson at GNC. Your mom is so fat, that when god created the earth and said let there be light he asked your mom to move! Your mom is so fat, that your dad rolled over three times and he was still on top of her. Your 'mom' sat next to everybody at school. Your mum is so fat that I decided to sleep with her, just to say I had. What country is so fat that is makes your mom look slim? None. Well, maybe the United States Of America, but that's beside the point. Your mom is so fat, she influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so old that she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. Your mom is so fat, that when she completes a revolution, time stops! Your mom is so old, her social security number is "I". Your mom is so ugly, she makes my mom look good. Your mom knows what you do right before going to sleep. Your mom is so ugly she doesn't look good at all when it really comes down to it. Your mom's name is actually Harriet. She's a 90 year old part Irish part Samoan woman who is currently leading an underground resitance against the future British Government. Your mom looks like Condoleeza Rice! Your mom is like a brick, flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans. The escape velocity at your mom's surface exceeds 3 * 10^8 m/s. Your mom did not understand the previous comment. It means her mass is roughly 500 times that of Sol, the sun. Your mom is like a vacumm, she sucks, she blows and she gets laid in the closet Wanna know what forever feels like? Try walking around your mom... Your mom is really a grue, who really eats her children, and when she was having you, she was still suffereing from a 9 year hangover, and wasn't able to realise that you were being born. Your lucky that your father wanted fun and to occupy his time, thats why you dont have a little brother. Your momma is so fat that she went to the beach and animal rights activists tried to push her back in the water Your mom is so fat that when she turns around, the half of her thats moving towards you turns blue, and the other half turns red. Your mom makes kitty sad... Your mom's moustache makes kitty scared... I once asked for Your mom's autograph - i thought it was the guy from Lordi Your mom is so stupid she tells YOU your mama jokes. Your mom is so stupid she calls you a son-of-a-bitch. Your mom is so slutty she is your mom and your sister-in-law. Yo momma so fat, she uses the freeway to iron her underwear. Your mum's so ugly she uses a line of make up called "Why Bother!" Your mums so ugly that when she stands on the beach the tide wont come in. Your mom's so stupid she thinks that Cross-Dressing is what you put on your salad. Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom Your Mom is so ugly, someone decided to stop pasting in the words "your mom". Your Mom was good last night and I left her money under the pillow. Your Mom is the Invisible man + Crack Your Mom is Phat.Also, penis. Your Mom gives great hummers! Your Mom has a really nice hat Your Mom has a huge crush on Barry Manilow, and has been mailing him her diary entries weekly for over two decades, doodle-hearts and all. Your Mom only lets your friends over for sleep-overs because she gets a little action with them while you sleep. Your Mom secretly likes the smell of her own flatus. Now you know where you get it from. Your Mom is like a Bowling Ball. She gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, yet she still comes back for more. Your Mom bucked like Bambi in a forest fire while I was riding her last night. I had to grab her love handles with both hands to stay on. No wonder she demanded I tie her to the hood of the SUV before we started. Don't worry, Your Mom is still a virgin. You were a backdoor baby. Your Mom knows the exact come-on line which lead to your conception. Your Mom is really a homeless man living in Iraq. The Government does not want you to know this, so they handed you over to some fat bitch Your Mom thought you were an exceptionally large crap. Your Mom is actually Richard Simmons in disguise. The term motherfucker refers, specifically, to Your Mom. In a year's time, another term, far worse than motherfucker, will gain currency. It will be so scatologically vile that most nations will establish crimes for its usage. It, too, will refer, specifically, to Your Mom. Your Mom is Chief Test Engineer for the Jack Rabbit Massager Corporation. Your Mom wears crotchless panties. And a Peep Hole bra. Your Mom uses duo-balls to relieve the tedium of shopping. Your Mom is so evil, she forced this person to continue putting in the words "your mom". Your mom also enjoys using ben-wa gerbils. Your mom bangs like a shit-house door in a Force 9 gale. Your mom is really Bill Gates. Your mom has a dick. And it's dick is bigger than your dick. Your mom is so fat that she has nine zip codes and none of them border on each other. Your mom is so ugly that the Devil slapped her for smiling and then gouged his eyes out with his pitchfork. Your mom is also Tubgirl. Your mom is in love with Mr. Goatse. Your mom is a cam whore! Your mom eats dead babies. Your mom is so goddamn fat that her NASA sent a space probe to orbit her ass. They never heard from it again. Your mom has a job, and is a respected part of the community. Your mom is so fat, she entered a fat contest and won first, second, and third. Your mom is so fat that Stevie Wonder sees her Your mom isn't really a man. Shes a hermaphrodite. your mom is so old and fat that when she stood up one day she caused the ice age. *your mom is so old she witnessed david killing goliath and she was a waitress at the last supper. your mom is so fat, that when she saw a yellow bus full of white kids go by, she said "stop that twinkie!" Your mom is Barry the Manny your mom is so poor that when i saw her kicking a can down the road, i asked what she was doing.She replied saying i'm moving! Your mom is so disgusting, she is Crystal Pepsi! Your mom was 35 when Jesus was born! Your mom is the age of God! Your mom is poop. Your mom is so fat, her ass has it’s own congressman. (And her congressman was bitch-slapped by Stephen Colbert for being a pussy liberal.) Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the zoo the elephants throw peanuts at her! Your mom is so fat when she walks down the street she walks down the street! Your mom is so emo she saw a run-over squirrel, brought it home, named it George and bragged about it to her whole friends list. Your mom is so fat and emo she cut herself and bled butter. Your mom is so emo she spends $20 on a worn out, vintage looking shirt that was fresh off the shelf at Hot Topic. Your mom is so emo the Grim Reaper had to put out a restraining order. Your mom is so fat, that her period is an exclamation mark! Your mom was, when he made you. your mom is so fat, she cleans her clothes on the driveway Your mom is Russian and stupid, therefore, she thinks you are her. Your mom is so fat, when she is done wiping her ass, the Charmin baby is in its late teens. Your mom has just read this. And she is not amused. Your moms so stupid she sold her car for gas money Also...
Your mom on a regular day.
Your mom on a Good Day.
Your mom on a Really Good Day.
Not your mom.
Allegations about your mom Dear Reader Kyle Rainforth Is A BITCH!!!!! So is Jonny Shoring You have two dads. And both of them are gay. With each other. Your two dads are George W Bush and Sadam Hussein Suzie has four dads. Five are in shallow graves. How many dads are you? Your mother has had sexual relations with all your base. Your mother tried to hang herself with a cordless phone. Your mom Is Darth Vader My other car is your mom. (OHHH! DISSED!) My other mom is your car. (!DESSID !HHHO) Your mom is a necrophiliac Your mom lost her viginity to a bucking bronco Your mom lost her virginity to you... So you are a bucking bronco and I lost my virginity to a bucking bronco. Fortunately, not all aligations are true. And these jokes suck balls. Your mum had sex with your dad, same with your neighbours mum. Your mother is from the plannet Endor and is a Wookie Your mom looks like a hoe In other countries Scotland 'Your maw' is a Scottish colloquialism that derives from the phrase 'Your Mother'. Originally a phrase in English used to indicated someone’s birth parent, this Scottish version is most commonly used as way to put down people who have wronged you (or fucked you off as the natives would put it).
Examples of the phrases use are the following:
"Shut up ya baw bag or i'll beat you so hard your maw will feel it!" "I'm ge'in so fat 'cause a'time i have your maw she geez me a sandwich." It can also be used in place of the common phrase 'Fuck Off' to end an argument:
Speaker 1: "You are a toetal dick by the whay!" Speaker 2: "You wheesht or i'll end you ya baw sack!!" Speaker 1: "Whituver ya wee fanny!" Speaker 2: *as dismissal* "Pshhh, your maw!" People should however be wary of using it in the latter sence as it will often lead to what is affectionately known as a Glasgow Kiss or if in certain parts of Govan, a Glessing.
Australia Your Mum
Nowhere (Also known as Norway)
Mora di er mann, og faren din er homo. Ha ha ha.
wait for your little yellow Babelfish to zdecode this gibberish* Your mom is a man and your dad is gay. Pancakes.
South Africa 'Jou ma' is a common phrase used to rebut an argument. It is often used in conjunction with 'se poes' or 'se gat' to form the often heard 'Jou ma se poes!' or 'Jou ma se gat!' which roughly translated means 'Your moms vagina' and 'Your moms asshole!' respectivly, although the former is the one more often used.
Other uses Your mom is also used in as a lazy phrase to indicate someone having had sexual intercourse with an adversary’s mother. This is used often in cajoling and in defensive/offensive verbal banter between neds (who's natural habitats include Glasgow, Edinburgh and All of England; though English neds are weaklings and hardly worth counting) that often results in a battling not too dissimilar to that portrayed in the cartoon Pokemon. The battling invariably ends in one neds humiliation at which point he will run home to aforementioned 'sexually abused mother' to grass up who has just clattered him and stained his Fila trackies with grass, pish and bucky. If people are feeling particularly intelligent that day then the phrase can be used as a way of turning the conversation around on the other person. e.g.
person 1: “Hey, you poked a hole in my balloon! I hate you!” person 2: “I poked a hole in your mom last night.” Dictionary Definition "wen ppl hav nothin better 2 offend ppl, they refer 2 'your mom' meaning your mam, they are trying to say they have shagged her basically" quoted from the Urban Dictionary. "Ay your mom:- I don't believe you." quoted from the BBC site. "AAAA AAA" - AAAAAAAAA! "Jou Ma" - Afrikaans "Dei Muada" - Austrian "J0|2 (V)0(V)" - Leet "Je Moeder" - Dutch "Yo Momma" - Ebonics "Ta Mère" - French "???? ????" - Russian "Tvoja mama" - Slovene "Deine Mutter" - German "??? ???" or "????'?" - Really Bad Hebrew "? ?????? ???" - Greek "La Vostra Madre" - Italian "Your Mother" - England - English "Dirka dirka' - Arabic "Anyád" - Hungarian "Do Mháthair" - Irish "Omm tieg?ek" - Maltese "Mora di" or "mor di" - Norwegian "Twoja Stara" - Polish "A Tua Mãe" - Portuguese; "Sua Mãe" (Brazillian) "???? ????" or "???? ????!" - Russian "Tu Madre" - Spanish; "Tu Vieja" (Spanish slang) "?? ???" - Arabic "??????" - Japanese "???" - Korean "???" - Chinese "InnaMOY" - Tagalog "Ya Mum - Australian "Sun Mutsis" - Finnish "Din Mamma!" - Swedish "Tavo motuže." - Lithuanian "Ma(-ta aia curva si cheala" - Româna( "Din mor" - Danish "?????? ?????" - Bulgarian "Senin annen" - Turkish "Tu Jefa" or "Tu Mama" - Modern Mexican "Mama kau" - Malaysian Malay "Tua mater" - Latin "Sinu ema!" - Estonian In popular culture Yo Momma Yo Momma is a television series created by George Dubya Bush himself to destroy any credibility our nation has left by lowering our already pathetically low standards of entertainment. Also it airs on MTV2 and maybe MTV Sometimes.
Overview - The show Itself is hosted by a perennial jackass named Wimer Valderama. This man from what experts have gathered is a bastard child. In the Show contestants compete by, "Slinging their Slander" at each other, these jokes don't have to be about the other contestants' mothers but you get extra points if you can tell a 'Yo Momma' joke without looking like an asshole. For Example:
Yo Momma so fat, she's... really fuckin' fat, dawg.
Round One - The show is divided into rounds, round one being the free for all round, where anyone, from hardcore blacksters to asians dudes with nerdy specs can compete, the winner gets to go on to a one-on-one match with the winner from the other side of town, as I'm sure you can imagine all rounds go like this.
"Your mother is, so black, I turned out the lights and couldn't see her." "Yo Momma so asian, she walks out side and peeps asked where she got a full body raincoat" One-on-One Rounds - Next the one-on-one matches begin, the winner getting some "Cash Moooney" and dying a little on the inside, because this was and is their greatest accopmlishment.
Sometime within the match
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Contents
1 What some famous people have to say about your mom
2 Fun facts about your mom
3 Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom
4 Also...
5 Allegations about your mom
6 In other countries
6.1 Scotland
6.2 Australia
6.3 Nowhere
6.4 South Africa
6.5 Other uses
6.6 Dictionary Definition
7 In popular culture
7.1 Yo Momma
What some famous people have to say about your mom
It's ya mum! Her thighs turn me on!“Your Mom goes to college!”
~ Kip Dynamite on Your Mom
“I weigh 47 pounds, and she does have an afro with a chin strap!!”
~ your mom's shadow on your mom
“I did have sexual relations with that man”
~ Bill Clinton on Your mom
“I wrote a couple of pieces about your mom”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“The worst sex partner I've ever had, hands down.”
~ Me on Your mom
“You would. Admit it.”
~ Sigmund Freud on Your mom
“*SQUAWK* You would. Admit it.”
~ Parrot on Sigmund Freud
“She's so fat, the escape velocity at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.”
~ Stephen Hawking on Your mom
“I am.”
~ Your mom on Your mom
“Better than a biscuit.”
~ Everyone on your mom
“Your mother is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“Your mom is a delightful woman with whom I enjoy spending time.”
~ The Olsen Twins on Your mom
“Back of the line.”
~ Oscar Wilde on your mom “In Soviet Russia, mom does YOU!!'”
~ Russian Reversal on your mom
“She wouldn't fetch much at my auction!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“All your mom are belong to us.”
~ CATS on your mom
“No no, brother. It's "all of your moms belong to us."”
~ CATS' brother DOGS on your mom
“I created her with a penis.”
~ God on your mom
“I´ll pitty jo' momma!!!.”
~ Mr. T on your mom
“Crikey! It's a monster.”
~ Steve Irwin on your mom
“I can't believe it's not female!”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“I DID YOUR MOM a favor, AND MADE YOU a lunch”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“You're mom is more fun than a Slinky on an Escalator!”
~ Some little girl on your mom
“Your mom is your dad's wife”
~ Captain Obvious on Your mom
“*squawk* Your mom is... *squawk* your dad's...”
~ Dying Random Parrot on Captain Obvious
“I gave that woman the clap”
~ Stewart McDonald on Your mom
Therefore
~ Isaac Newton on your mom
“oh yeah baby”
~ your dad on your mom
“YEAH BABY, YEAH!”
~ Austin Powers on your mom
“Cheap as chips!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“I don't want to work, I want to bang your mom all day.”
~ Todd Rundgren on your mom
"Your mom likes Bush!"
~ Stephen Colbert
“*silence*”
~ Dead Not-So-Random-Anymore Parrot
“What's that coming over the hill, is it your mother?, Is it your mother? ”
~ The Welsh on Your mom
“Your mom's the newest member of the nWo, brother. ”
~ Hulk Hogan on Your mom
“Your mom has been arrested for drug possession and anal rape. Bail is $500.”
~ Meg Griffin on Your mom
“Hey, Eliwood! I fucked your mom!”
~ Hector on Lord Eliwood's mom
“Meh”
~ Teh Cheat on Your mom
“She has a very small penis.”
~ Tiltyu on Eric Cartman's mom
Fun facts about your mom
Never forget to tell Your mom how much you love her.Your momma has eleven fingers and fifteen toes, and still can't count to twenty-six Your mums so fat thea Nasa octually orbits her. Yo momma is so fat, she started the Revolution revolution! Yo momma so fat, when she gets on the scales it says "to be continued..." Yo momma so ugly, she make blind muthafuckas cry Your mom is so stupid she thought that a parental control was an abortion yo momma so fat, she comes from both sides of the family Your mom has a peg leg with a kickstand Your mom has an afro with a chinstrap Your mom is a team killer acording to NYC_bLuNtRoLlEr_444 Your mom listens to Hard House / NRG. Your mom did the UN yesterday. Your mom is symbolized by the element Urmomium Your mom is still a virgin. She will probably remain a virgin unless you hire her a cabana boy. Your mom is somewhat like Helen of Troy, in that her face launched 1000 nuclear weapons, all of which were pointed at her. Interestingly enough, your mom survived the barrage. Your mom shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. Your mom sells her crack for crack. Your mom is the Uncyclopedia:Community Portal -- everyone gets a chance to enter. Your mom was exceedingly popular during a brief period in the 1980s, but then again, what wasn't?
Don't ever let Your Mom give you the evil eye!Using 'Your mom' as a comeback became popular again in the year 2000 thanks to bored Indiana residents who decided that the old 80s joke should be born again for this new "Generation Y.45-802.11bag version 5.1(2800)" Your mom got so high once at a Jimmy Buffett concert that she threw her panties at a stuffed parrot, but that doesn't mean it's okay for you and your friends to waste your lives on the devil weed. Your mom is so fat that people practice by climbing Mt. Everest before they climb her. Your mom is so fat, the astronaughts keep believing there is a dimple on the Earth Your mom is so fat that hundreds of horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly that hundreds of other horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face. Your mom is so stupid she took me to the movie theater to see "Closed For The Season". Your moms breath smells so bad she the reason people grow old and die Your mom can't get a record deal because she doesn't want it enough. Your mom is so stupid she thought that MySpace was a sexual position. Your mom is so stupid she drove on the driveway and parked on the parkway. Your mom is so ugly, yo daddy brings her to work so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. Your mom is so fat she swallowed my mom whole. Speaking of "your mom" and "come backs"... Your mom. Your mom would be horribly upset that you are wasting your life visiting this site. Your mom is so fat, she puts her tits in the overhead compartment on an airplane. Your mom's ass is so fat, that it has its own zip code. Your mom knows you spank the monkey, but loves you anyway. Your mom buys extra soft 3-ply Kleenex because she loves you anyway. Your mom was the 53rd leader of the free world. Your mom was subsequently made the 52nd through 78th states, because she was so fat. Your mom knows all about the monsters in your closet. Your mom owes me money, you douche! Your mom has apparently had sex with everyone you have ever argued with, including herself. Your mom is often confused with G.W.B and Abe Lincoln. I'm sorry, but all of them look like monkeys. Your mom is a creature from outer space. Your mom is outer space Your mom fought JFK in one of the greatest movie epics of all time. Your mom once tried Satanism, but didn't really like it. Your mom went to prom with Merv the Perv. Your mom is the mascot for the University of Arizona. Your mom had Rutgers University for lunch, Princeton University for dinner, and has the University of California as a teddy bear. Your mom is my mom. Am I confusing you? Your mom is like the Moon, big, round, and influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so stupid she failed her GED, while TAKING HER DRIVERS TEST! ZING! Your mom is so fat the city had to dig a hole through her for traffic to pass through. Your mom is so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin. Your mom is so fat, when Chris Farley tried to have sex with her he got lost for six days. When he came back out, he had a pet crab named Alfred. Your mom is so ugly, when she went to McDonalds, they couldn't serve happy meals. Neil Armstrong wasn't the first man on your mum. Your mom is so dumb that she put 20 cents in a parking meter and said "Where the fuck's my gumball?" Your mum - not mom - is so fat that she resides in the USA. Your mom is so fat and ugly and dumb that she would make a bad salesperson at GNC. Your mom is so fat, that when god created the earth and said let there be light he asked your mom to move! Your mom is so fat, that your dad rolled over three times and he was still on top of her. Your 'mom' sat next to everybody at school. Your mum is so fat that I decided to sleep with her, just to say I had. What country is so fat that is makes your mom look slim? None. Well, maybe the United States Of America, but that's beside the point. Your mom is so fat, she influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so old that she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. Your mom is so fat, that when she completes a revolution, time stops! Your mom is so old, her social security number is "I". Your mom is so ugly, she makes my mom look good. Your mom knows what you do right before going to sleep. Your mom is so ugly she doesn't look good at all when it really comes down to it. Your mom's name is actually Harriet. She's a 90 year old part Irish part Samoan woman who is currently leading an underground resitance against the future British Government. Your mom looks like Condoleeza Rice! Your mom is like a brick, flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans. The escape velocity at your mom's surface exceeds 3 * 10^8 m/s. Your mom did not understand the previous comment. It means her mass is roughly 500 times that of Sol, the sun. Your mom is like a vacumm, she sucks, she blows and she gets laid in the closet Wanna know what forever feels like? Try walking around your mom... Your mom is really a grue, who really eats her children, and when she was having you, she was still suffereing from a 9 year hangover, and wasn't able to realise that you were being born. Your lucky that your father wanted fun and to occupy his time, thats why you dont have a little brother. Your momma is so fat that she went to the beach and animal rights activists tried to push her back in the water Your mom is so fat that when she turns around, the half of her thats moving towards you turns blue, and the other half turns red. Your mom makes kitty sad... Your mom's moustache makes kitty scared... I once asked for Your mom's autograph - i thought it was the guy from Lordi Your mom is so stupid she tells YOU your mama jokes. Your mom is so stupid she calls you a son-of-a-bitch. Your mom is so slutty she is your mom and your sister-in-law. Yo momma so fat, she uses the freeway to iron her underwear. Your mum's so ugly she uses a line of make up called "Why Bother!" Your mums so ugly that when she stands on the beach the tide wont come in. Your mom's so stupid she thinks that Cross-Dressing is what you put on your salad. Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom Your Mom is so ugly, someone decided to stop pasting in the words "your mom". Your Mom was good last night and I left her money under the pillow. Your Mom is the Invisible man + Crack Your Mom is Phat.Also, penis. Your Mom gives great hummers! Your Mom has a really nice hat Your Mom has a huge crush on Barry Manilow, and has been mailing him her diary entries weekly for over two decades, doodle-hearts and all. Your Mom only lets your friends over for sleep-overs because she gets a little action with them while you sleep. Your Mom secretly likes the smell of her own flatus. Now you know where you get it from. Your Mom is like a Bowling Ball. She gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, yet she still comes back for more. Your Mom bucked like Bambi in a forest fire while I was riding her last night. I had to grab her love handles with both hands to stay on. No wonder she demanded I tie her to the hood of the SUV before we started. Don't worry, Your Mom is still a virgin. You were a backdoor baby. Your Mom knows the exact come-on line which lead to your conception. Your Mom is really a homeless man living in Iraq. The Government does not want you to know this, so they handed you over to some fat bitch Your Mom thought you were an exceptionally large crap. Your Mom is actually Richard Simmons in disguise. The term motherfucker refers, specifically, to Your Mom. In a year's time, another term, far worse than motherfucker, will gain currency. It will be so scatologically vile that most nations will establish crimes for its usage. It, too, will refer, specifically, to Your Mom. Your Mom is Chief Test Engineer for the Jack Rabbit Massager Corporation. Your Mom wears crotchless panties. And a Peep Hole bra. Your Mom uses duo-balls to relieve the tedium of shopping. Your Mom is so evil, she forced this person to continue putting in the words "your mom". Your mom also enjoys using ben-wa gerbils. Your mom bangs like a shit-house door in a Force 9 gale. Your mom is really Bill Gates. Your mom has a dick. And it's dick is bigger than your dick. Your mom is so fat that she has nine zip codes and none of them border on each other. Your mom is so ugly that the Devil slapped her for smiling and then gouged his eyes out with his pitchfork. Your mom is also Tubgirl. Your mom is in love with Mr. Goatse. Your mom is a cam whore! Your mom eats dead babies. Your mom is so goddamn fat that her NASA sent a space probe to orbit her ass. They never heard from it again. Your mom has a job, and is a respected part of the community. Your mom is so fat, she entered a fat contest and won first, second, and third. Your mom is so fat that Stevie Wonder sees her Your mom isn't really a man. Shes a hermaphrodite. your mom is so old and fat that when she stood up one day she caused the ice age. *your mom is so old she witnessed david killing goliath and she was a waitress at the last supper. your mom is so fat, that when she saw a yellow bus full of white kids go by, she said "stop that twinkie!" Your mom is Barry the Manny your mom is so poor that when i saw her kicking a can down the road, i asked what she was doing.She replied saying i'm moving! Your mom is so disgusting, she is Crystal Pepsi! Your mom was 35 when Jesus was born! Your mom is the age of God! Your mom is poop. Your mom is so fat, her ass has it’s own congressman. (And her congressman was bitch-slapped by Stephen Colbert for being a pussy liberal.) Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the zoo the elephants throw peanuts at her! Your mom is so fat when she walks down the street she walks down the street! Your mom is so emo she saw a run-over squirrel, brought it home, named it George and bragged about it to her whole friends list. Your mom is so fat and emo she cut herself and bled butter. Your mom is so emo she spends $20 on a worn out, vintage looking shirt that was fresh off the shelf at Hot Topic. Your mom is so emo the Grim Reaper had to put out a restraining order. Your mom is so fat, that her period is an exclamation mark! Your mom was, when he made you. your mom is so fat, she cleans her clothes on the driveway Your mom is Russian and stupid, therefore, she thinks you are her. Your mom is so fat, when she is done wiping her ass, the Charmin baby is in its late teens. Your mom has just read this. And she is not amused. Your moms so stupid she sold her car for gas money Also...
Your mom on a regular day.
Your mom on a Good Day.
Your mom on a Really Good Day.
Not your mom.
Allegations about your mom Dear Reader Kyle Rainforth Is A BITCH!!!!! So is Jonny Shoring You have two dads. And both of them are gay. With each other. Your two dads are George W Bush and Sadam Hussein Suzie has four dads. Five are in shallow graves. How many dads are you? Your mother has had sexual relations with all your base. Your mother tried to hang herself with a cordless phone. Your mom Is Darth Vader My other car is your mom. (OHHH! DISSED!) My other mom is your car. (!DESSID !HHHO) Your mom is a necrophiliac Your mom lost her viginity to a bucking bronco Your mom lost her virginity to you... So you are a bucking bronco and I lost my virginity to a bucking bronco. Fortunately, not all aligations are true. And these jokes suck balls. Your mum had sex with your dad, same with your neighbours mum. Your mother is from the plannet Endor and is a Wookie Your mom looks like a hoe In other countries Scotland 'Your maw' is a Scottish colloquialism that derives from the phrase 'Your Mother'. Originally a phrase in English used to indicated someone’s birth parent, this Scottish version is most commonly used as way to put down people who have wronged you (or fucked you off as the natives would put it).
Examples of the phrases use are the following:
"Shut up ya baw bag or i'll beat you so hard your maw will feel it!" "I'm ge'in so fat 'cause a'time i have your maw she geez me a sandwich." It can also be used in place of the common phrase 'Fuck Off' to end an argument:
Speaker 1: "You are a toetal dick by the whay!" Speaker 2: "You wheesht or i'll end you ya baw sack!!" Speaker 1: "Whituver ya wee fanny!" Speaker 2: *as dismissal* "Pshhh, your maw!" People should however be wary of using it in the latter sence as it will often lead to what is affectionately known as a Glasgow Kiss or if in certain parts of Govan, a Glessing.
Australia Your Mum
Nowhere (Also known as Norway)
Mora di er mann, og faren din er homo. Ha ha ha.
wait for your little yellow Babelfish to zdecode this gibberish* Your mom is a man and your dad is gay. Pancakes.
South Africa 'Jou ma' is a common phrase used to rebut an argument. It is often used in conjunction with 'se poes' or 'se gat' to form the often heard 'Jou ma se poes!' or 'Jou ma se gat!' which roughly translated means 'Your moms vagina' and 'Your moms asshole!' respectivly, although the former is the one more often used.
Other uses Your mom is also used in as a lazy phrase to indicate someone having had sexual intercourse with an adversary’s mother. This is used often in cajoling and in defensive/offensive verbal banter between neds (who's natural habitats include Glasgow, Edinburgh and All of England; though English neds are weaklings and hardly worth counting) that often results in a battling not too dissimilar to that portrayed in the cartoon Pokemon. The battling invariably ends in one neds humiliation at which point he will run home to aforementioned 'sexually abused mother' to grass up who has just clattered him and stained his Fila trackies with grass, pish and bucky. If people are feeling particularly intelligent that day then the phrase can be used as a way of turning the conversation around on the other person. e.g.
person 1: “Hey, you poked a hole in my balloon! I hate you!” person 2: “I poked a hole in your mom last night.” Dictionary Definition "wen ppl hav nothin better 2 offend ppl, they refer 2 'your mom' meaning your mam, they are trying to say they have shagged her basically" quoted from the Urban Dictionary. "Ay your mom:- I don't believe you." quoted from the BBC site. "AAAA AAA" - AAAAAAAAA! "Jou Ma" - Afrikaans "Dei Muada" - Austrian "J0|2 (V)0(V)" - Leet "Je Moeder" - Dutch "Yo Momma" - Ebonics "Ta Mère" - French "???? ????" - Russian "Tvoja mama" - Slovene "Deine Mutter" - German "??? ???" or "????'?" - Really Bad Hebrew "? ?????? ???" - Greek "La Vostra Madre" - Italian "Your Mother" - England - English "Dirka dirka' - Arabic "Anyád" - Hungarian "Do Mháthair" - Irish "Omm tieg?ek" - Maltese "Mora di" or "mor di" - Norwegian "Twoja Stara" - Polish "A Tua Mãe" - Portuguese; "Sua Mãe" (Brazillian) "???? ????" or "???? ????!" - Russian "Tu Madre" - Spanish; "Tu Vieja" (Spanish slang) "?? ???" - Arabic "??????" - Japanese "???" - Korean "???" - Chinese "InnaMOY" - Tagalog "Ya Mum - Australian "Sun Mutsis" - Finnish "Din Mamma!" - Swedish "Tavo motuže." - Lithuanian "Ma(-ta aia curva si cheala" - Româna( "Din mor" - Danish "?????? ?????" - Bulgarian "Senin annen" - Turkish "Tu Jefa" or "Tu Mama" - Modern Mexican "Mama kau" - Malaysian Malay "Tua mater" - Latin "Sinu ema!" - Estonian In popular culture Yo Momma Yo Momma is a television series created by George Dubya Bush himself to destroy any credibility our nation has left by lowering our already pathetically low standards of entertainment. Also it airs on MTV2 and maybe MTV Sometimes.
Overview - The show Itself is hosted by a perennial jackass named Wimer Valderama. This man from what experts have gathered is a bastard child. In the Show contestants compete by, "Slinging their Slander" at each other, these jokes don't have to be about the other contestants' mothers but you get extra points if you can tell a 'Yo Momma' joke without looking like an asshole. For Example:
Yo Momma so fat, she's... really fuckin' fat, dawg.
Round One - The show is divided into rounds, round one being the free for all round, where anyone, from hardcore blacksters to asians dudes with nerdy specs can compete, the winner gets to go on to a one-on-one match with the winner from the other side of town, as I'm sure you can imagine all rounds go like this.
"Your mother is, so black, I turned out the lights and couldn't see her." "Yo Momma so asian, she walks out side and peeps asked where she got a full body raincoat" One-on-One Rounds - Next the one-on-one matches begin, the winner getting some "Cash Moooney" and dying a little on the inside, because this was and is their greatest accopmlishment.
Sometime within the match
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This page is a piece of crap. The author acknowledges this.
Contents
1 What some famous people have to say about your mom
2 Fun facts about your mom
3 Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom
4 Also...
5 Allegations about your mom
6 In other countries
6.1 Scotland
6.2 Australia
6.3 Nowhere
6.4 South Africa
6.5 Other uses
6.6 Dictionary Definition
7 In popular culture
7.1 Yo Momma
What some famous people have to say about your mom
It's ya mum! Her thighs turn me on!“Your Mom goes to college!”
~ Kip Dynamite on Your Mom
“I weigh 47 pounds, and she does have an afro with a chin strap!!”
~ your mom's shadow on your mom
“I did have sexual relations with that man”
~ Bill Clinton on Your mom
“I wrote a couple of pieces about your mom”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“The worst sex partner I've ever had, hands down.”
~ Me on Your mom
“You would. Admit it.”
~ Sigmund Freud on Your mom
“*SQUAWK* You would. Admit it.”
~ Parrot on Sigmund Freud
“She's so fat, the escape velocity at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.”
~ Stephen Hawking on Your mom
“I am.”
~ Your mom on Your mom
“Better than a biscuit.”
~ Everyone on your mom
“Your mother is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“Your mom is a delightful woman with whom I enjoy spending time.”
~ The Olsen Twins on Your mom
“Back of the line.”
~ Oscar Wilde on your mom “In Soviet Russia, mom does YOU!!'”
~ Russian Reversal on your mom
“She wouldn't fetch much at my auction!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“All your mom are belong to us.”
~ CATS on your mom
“No no, brother. It's "all of your moms belong to us."”
~ CATS' brother DOGS on your mom
“I created her with a penis.”
~ God on your mom
“I´ll pitty jo' momma!!!.”
~ Mr. T on your mom
“Crikey! It's a monster.”
~ Steve Irwin on your mom
“I can't believe it's not female!”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“I DID YOUR MOM a favor, AND MADE YOU a lunch”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“You're mom is more fun than a Slinky on an Escalator!”
~ Some little girl on your mom
“Your mom is your dad's wife”
~ Captain Obvious on Your mom
“*squawk* Your mom is... *squawk* your dad's...”
~ Dying Random Parrot on Captain Obvious
“I gave that woman the clap”
~ Stewart McDonald on Your mom
Therefore
~ Isaac Newton on your mom
“oh yeah baby”
~ your dad on your mom
“YEAH BABY, YEAH!”
~ Austin Powers on your mom
“Cheap as chips!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“I don't want to work, I want to bang your mom all day.”
~ Todd Rundgren on your mom
"Your mom likes Bush!"
~ Stephen Colbert
“*silence*”
~ Dead Not-So-Random-Anymore Parrot
“What's that coming over the hill, is it your mother?, Is it your mother? ”
~ The Welsh on Your mom
“Your mom's the newest member of the nWo, brother. ”
~ Hulk Hogan on Your mom
“Your mom has been arrested for drug possession and anal rape. Bail is $500.”
~ Meg Griffin on Your mom
“Hey, Eliwood! I fucked your mom!”
~ Hector on Lord Eliwood's mom
“Meh”
~ Teh Cheat on Your mom
“She has a very small penis.”
~ Tiltyu on Eric Cartman's mom
Fun facts about your mom
Never forget to tell Your mom how much you love her.Your momma has eleven fingers and fifteen toes, and still can't count to twenty-six Your mums so fat thea Nasa octually orbits her. Yo momma is so fat, she started the Revolution revolution! Yo momma so fat, when she gets on the scales it says "to be continued..." Yo momma so ugly, she make blind muthafuckas cry Your mom is so stupid she thought that a parental control was an abortion yo momma so fat, she comes from both sides of the family Your mom has a peg leg with a kickstand Your mom has an afro with a chinstrap Your mom is a team killer acording to NYC_bLuNtRoLlEr_444 Your mom listens to Hard House / NRG. Your mom did the UN yesterday. Your mom is symbolized by the element Urmomium Your mom is still a virgin. She will probably remain a virgin unless you hire her a cabana boy. Your mom is somewhat like Helen of Troy, in that her face launched 1000 nuclear weapons, all of which were pointed at her. Interestingly enough, your mom survived the barrage. Your mom shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. Your mom sells her crack for crack. Your mom is the Uncyclopedia:Community Portal -- everyone gets a chance to enter. Your mom was exceedingly popular during a brief period in the 1980s, but then again, what wasn't?
Don't ever let Your Mom give you the evil eye!Using 'Your mom' as a comeback became popular again in the year 2000 thanks to bored Indiana residents who decided that the old 80s joke should be born again for this new "Generation Y.45-802.11bag version 5.1(2800)" Your mom got so high once at a Jimmy Buffett concert that she threw her panties at a stuffed parrot, but that doesn't mean it's okay for you and your friends to waste your lives on the devil weed. Your mom is so fat that people practice by climbing Mt. Everest before they climb her. Your mom is so fat, the astronaughts keep believing there is a dimple on the Earth Your mom is so fat that hundreds of horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly that hundreds of other horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face. Your mom is so stupid she took me to the movie theater to see "Closed For The Season". Your moms breath smells so bad she the reason people grow old and die Your mom can't get a record deal because she doesn't want it enough. Your mom is so stupid she thought that MySpace was a sexual position. Your mom is so stupid she drove on the driveway and parked on the parkway. Your mom is so ugly, yo daddy brings her to work so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. Your mom is so fat she swallowed my mom whole. Speaking of "your mom" and "come backs"... Your mom. Your mom would be horribly upset that you are wasting your life visiting this site. Your mom is so fat, she puts her tits in the overhead compartment on an airplane. Your mom's ass is so fat, that it has its own zip code. Your mom knows you spank the monkey, but loves you anyway. Your mom buys extra soft 3-ply Kleenex because she loves you anyway. Your mom was the 53rd leader of the free world. Your mom was subsequently made the 52nd through 78th states, because she was so fat. Your mom knows all about the monsters in your closet. Your mom owes me money, you douche! Your mom has apparently had sex with everyone you have ever argued with, including herself. Your mom is often confused with G.W.B and Abe Lincoln. I'm sorry, but all of them look like monkeys. Your mom is a creature from outer space. Your mom is outer space Your mom fought JFK in one of the greatest movie epics of all time. Your mom once tried Satanism, but didn't really like it. Your mom went to prom with Merv the Perv. Your mom is the mascot for the University of Arizona. Your mom had Rutgers University for lunch, Princeton University for dinner, and has the University of California as a teddy bear. Your mom is my mom. Am I confusing you? Your mom is like the Moon, big, round, and influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so stupid she failed her GED, while TAKING HER DRIVERS TEST! ZING! Your mom is so fat the city had to dig a hole through her for traffic to pass through. Your mom is so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin. Your mom is so fat, when Chris Farley tried to have sex with her he got lost for six days. When he came back out, he had a pet crab named Alfred. Your mom is so ugly, when she went to McDonalds, they couldn't serve happy meals. Neil Armstrong wasn't the first man on your mum. Your mom is so dumb that she put 20 cents in a parking meter and said "Where the fuck's my gumball?" Your mum - not mom - is so fat that she resides in the USA. Your mom is so fat and ugly and dumb that she would make a bad salesperson at GNC. Your mom is so fat, that when god created the earth and said let there be light he asked your mom to move! Your mom is so fat, that your dad rolled over three times and he was still on top of her. Your 'mom' sat next to everybody at school. Your mum is so fat that I decided to sleep with her, just to say I had. What country is so fat that is makes your mom look slim? None. Well, maybe the United States Of America, but that's beside the point. Your mom is so fat, she influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so old that she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. Your mom is so fat, that when she completes a revolution, time stops! Your mom is so old, her social security number is "I". Your mom is so ugly, she makes my mom look good. Your mom knows what you do right before going to sleep. Your mom is so ugly she doesn't look good at all when it really comes down to it. Your mom's name is actually Harriet. She's a 90 year old part Irish part Samoan woman who is currently leading an underground resitance against the future British Government. Your mom looks like Condoleeza Rice! Your mom is like a brick, flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans. The escape velocity at your mom's surface exceeds 3 * 10^8 m/s. Your mom did not understand the previous comment. It means her mass is roughly 500 times that of Sol, the sun. Your mom is like a vacumm, she sucks, she blows and she gets laid in the closet Wanna know what forever feels like? Try walking around your mom... Your mom is really a grue, who really eats her children, and when she was having you, she was still suffereing from a 9 year hangover, and wasn't able to realise that you were being born. Your lucky that your father wanted fun and to occupy his time, thats why you dont have a little brother. Your momma is so fat that she went to the beach and animal rights activists tried to push her back in the water Your mom is so fat that when she turns around, the half of her thats moving towards you turns blue, and the other half turns red. Your mom makes kitty sad... Your mom's moustache makes kitty scared... I once asked for Your mom's autograph - i thought it was the guy from Lordi Your mom is so stupid she tells YOU your mama jokes. Your mom is so stupid she calls you a son-of-a-bitch. Your mom is so slutty she is your mom and your sister-in-law. Yo momma so fat, she uses the freeway to iron her underwear. Your mum's so ugly she uses a line of make up called "Why Bother!" Your mums so ugly that when she stands on the beach the tide wont come in. Your mom's so stupid she thinks that Cross-Dressing is what you put on your salad. Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom Your Mom is so ugly, someone decided to stop pasting in the words "your mom". Your Mom was good last night and I left her money under the pillow. Your Mom is the Invisible man + Crack Your Mom is Phat.Also, penis. Your Mom gives great hummers! Your Mom has a really nice hat Your Mom has a huge crush on Barry Manilow, and has been mailing him her diary entries weekly for over two decades, doodle-hearts and all. Your Mom only lets your friends over for sleep-overs because she gets a little action with them while you sleep. Your Mom secretly likes the smell of her own flatus. Now you know where you get it from. Your Mom is like a Bowling Ball. She gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, yet she still comes back for more. Your Mom bucked like Bambi in a forest fire while I was riding her last night. I had to grab her love handles with both hands to stay on. No wonder she demanded I tie her to the hood of the SUV before we started. Don't worry, Your Mom is still a virgin. You were a backdoor baby. Your Mom knows the exact come-on line which lead to your conception. Your Mom is really a homeless man living in Iraq. The Government does not want you to know this, so they handed you over to some fat bitch Your Mom thought you were an exceptionally large crap. Your Mom is actually Richard Simmons in disguise. The term motherfucker refers, specifically, to Your Mom. In a year's time, another term, far worse than motherfucker, will gain currency. It will be so scatologically vile that most nations will establish crimes for its usage. It, too, will refer, specifically, to Your Mom. Your Mom is Chief Test Engineer for the Jack Rabbit Massager Corporation. Your Mom wears crotchless panties. And a Peep Hole bra. Your Mom uses duo-balls to relieve the tedium of shopping. Your Mom is so evil, she forced this person to continue putting in the words "your mom". Your mom also enjoys using ben-wa gerbils. Your mom bangs like a shit-house door in a Force 9 gale. Your mom is really Bill Gates. Your mom has a dick. And it's dick is bigger than your dick. Your mom is so fat that she has nine zip codes and none of them border on each other. Your mom is so ugly that the Devil slapped her for smiling and then gouged his eyes out with his pitchfork. Your mom is also Tubgirl. Your mom is in love with Mr. Goatse. Your mom is a cam whore! Your mom eats dead babies. Your mom is so goddamn fat that her NASA sent a space probe to orbit her ass. They never heard from it again. Your mom has a job, and is a respected part of the community. Your mom is so fat, she entered a fat contest and won first, second, and third. Your mom is so fat that Stevie Wonder sees her Your mom isn't really a man. Shes a hermaphrodite. your mom is so old and fat that when she stood up one day she caused the ice age. *your mom is so old she witnessed david killing goliath and she was a waitress at the last supper. your mom is so fat, that when she saw a yellow bus full of white kids go by, she said "stop that twinkie!" Your mom is Barry the Manny your mom is so poor that when i saw her kicking a can down the road, i asked what she was doing.She replied saying i'm moving! Your mom is so disgusting, she is Crystal Pepsi! Your mom was 35 when Jesus was born! Your mom is the age of God! Your mom is poop. Your mom is so fat, her ass has it’s own congressman. (And her congressman was bitch-slapped by Stephen Colbert for being a pussy liberal.) Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the zoo the elephants throw peanuts at her! Your mom is so fat when she walks down the street she walks down the street! Your mom is so emo she saw a run-over squirrel, brought it home, named it George and bragged about it to her whole friends list. Your mom is so fat and emo she cut herself and bled butter. Your mom is so emo she spends $20 on a worn out, vintage looking shirt that was fresh off the shelf at Hot Topic. Your mom is so emo the Grim Reaper had to put out a restraining order. Your mom is so fat, that her period is an exclamation mark! Your mom was, when he made you. your mom is so fat, she cleans her clothes on the driveway Your mom is Russian and stupid, therefore, she thinks you are her. Your mom is so fat, when she is done wiping her ass, the Charmin baby is in its late teens. Your mom has just read this. And she is not amused. Your moms so stupid she sold her car for gas money Also...
Your mom on a regular day.
Your mom on a Good Day.
Your mom on a Really Good Day.
Not your mom.
Allegations about your mom Dear Reader Kyle Rainforth Is A BITCH!!!!! So is Jonny Shoring You have two dads. And both of them are gay. With each other. Your two dads are George W Bush and Sadam Hussein Suzie has four dads. Five are in shallow graves. How many dads are you? Your mother has had sexual relations with all your base. Your mother tried to hang herself with a cordless phone. Your mom Is Darth Vader My other car is your mom. (OHHH! DISSED!) My other mom is your car. (!DESSID !HHHO) Your mom is a necrophiliac Your mom lost her viginity to a bucking bronco Your mom lost her virginity to you... So you are a bucking bronco and I lost my virginity to a bucking bronco. Fortunately, not all aligations are true. And these jokes suck balls. Your mum had sex with your dad, same with your neighbours mum. Your mother is from the plannet Endor and is a Wookie Your mom looks like a hoe In other countries Scotland 'Your maw' is a Scottish colloquialism that derives from the phrase 'Your Mother'. Originally a phrase in English used to indicated someone’s birth parent, this Scottish version is most commonly used as way to put down people who have wronged you (or fucked you off as the natives would put it).
Examples of the phrases use are the following:
"Shut up ya baw bag or i'll beat you so hard your maw will feel it!" "I'm ge'in so fat 'cause a'time i have your maw she geez me a sandwich." It can also be used in place of the common phrase 'Fuck Off' to end an argument:
Speaker 1: "You are a toetal dick by the whay!" Speaker 2: "You wheesht or i'll end you ya baw sack!!" Speaker 1: "Whituver ya wee fanny!" Speaker 2: *as dismissal* "Pshhh, your maw!" People should however be wary of using it in the latter sence as it will often lead to what is affectionately known as a Glasgow Kiss or if in certain parts of Govan, a Glessing.
Australia Your Mum
Nowhere (Also known as Norway)
Mora di er mann, og faren din er homo. Ha ha ha.
wait for your little yellow Babelfish to zdecode this gibberish* Your mom is a man and your dad is gay. Pancakes.
South Africa 'Jou ma' is a common phrase used to rebut an argument. It is often used in conjunction with 'se poes' or 'se gat' to form the often heard 'Jou ma se poes!' or 'Jou ma se gat!' which roughly translated means 'Your moms vagina' and 'Your moms asshole!' respectivly, although the former is the one more often used.
Other uses Your mom is also used in as a lazy phrase to indicate someone having had sexual intercourse with an adversary’s mother. This is used often in cajoling and in defensive/offensive verbal banter between neds (who's natural habitats include Glasgow, Edinburgh and All of England; though English neds are weaklings and hardly worth counting) that often results in a battling not too dissimilar to that portrayed in the cartoon Pokemon. The battling invariably ends in one neds humiliation at which point he will run home to aforementioned 'sexually abused mother' to grass up who has just clattered him and stained his Fila trackies with grass, pish and bucky. If people are feeling particularly intelligent that day then the phrase can be used as a way of turning the conversation around on the other person. e.g.
person 1: “Hey, you poked a hole in my balloon! I hate you!” person 2: “I poked a hole in your mom last night.” Dictionary Definition "wen ppl hav nothin better 2 offend ppl, they refer 2 'your mom' meaning your mam, they are trying to say they have shagged her basically" quoted from the Urban Dictionary. "Ay your mom:- I don't believe you." quoted from the BBC site. "AAAA AAA" - AAAAAAAAA! "Jou Ma" - Afrikaans "Dei Muada" - Austrian "J0|2 (V)0(V)" - Leet "Je Moeder" - Dutch "Yo Momma" - Ebonics "Ta Mère" - French "???? ????" - Russian "Tvoja mama" - Slovene "Deine Mutter" - German "??? ???" or "????'?" - Really Bad Hebrew "? ?????? ???" - Greek "La Vostra Madre" - Italian "Your Mother" - England - English "Dirka dirka' - Arabic "Anyád" - Hungarian "Do Mháthair" - Irish "Omm tieg?ek" - Maltese "Mora di" or "mor di" - Norwegian "Twoja Stara" - Polish "A Tua Mãe" - Portuguese; "Sua Mãe" (Brazillian) "???? ????" or "???? ????!" - Russian "Tu Madre" - Spanish; "Tu Vieja" (Spanish slang) "?? ???" - Arabic "??????" - Japanese "???" - Korean "???" - Chinese "InnaMOY" - Tagalog "Ya Mum - Australian "Sun Mutsis" - Finnish "Din Mamma!" - Swedish "Tavo motuže." - Lithuanian "Ma(-ta aia curva si cheala" - Româna( "Din mor" - Danish "?????? ?????" - Bulgarian "Senin annen" - Turkish "Tu Jefa" or "Tu Mama" - Modern Mexican "Mama kau" - Malaysian Malay "Tua mater" - Latin "Sinu ema!" - Estonian In popular culture Yo Momma Yo Momma is a television series created by George Dubya Bush himself to destroy any credibility our nation has left by lowering our already pathetically low standards of entertainment. Also it airs on MTV2 and maybe MTV Sometimes.
Overview - The show Itself is hosted by a perennial jackass named Wimer Valderama. This man from what experts have gathered is a bastard child. In the Show contestants compete by, "Slinging their Slander" at each other, these jokes don't have to be about the other contestants' mothers but you get extra points if you can tell a 'Yo Momma' joke without looking like an asshole. For Example:
Yo Momma so fat, she's... really fuckin' fat, dawg.
Round One - The show is divided into rounds, round one being the free for all round, where anyone, from hardcore blacksters to asians dudes with nerdy specs can compete, the winner gets to go on to a one-on-one match with the winner from the other side of town, as I'm sure you can imagine all rounds go like this.
"Your mother is, so black, I turned out the lights and couldn't see her." "Yo Momma so asian, she walks out side and peeps asked where she got a full body raincoat" One-on-One Rounds - Next the one-on-one matches begin, the winner getting some "Cash Moooney" and dying a little on the inside, because this was and is their greatest accopmlishment.
Sometime within the match
Quasi-Featured Article
This article was nominated to become a featured article; however, due to a voting discrepancy in Florida involving Oprah and half a shaved monkey's buttcheek, it didn't make the cut. It's the thought that counts, right? You can prevent Oprah's nefarious plans from working by voting for other articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/Your_mom" Categories: Not safe for work | Oscar Wildeizms | Quasi-Featured | Inside jokes | Stuff that lonely men masturbate over
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This page was last modified 20:15, 5 December 2006. Content is available under a Creative Commons License. About Uncyclopedia Disclaimers Digg this page Del.icio.us Your mom From Uncyclopedia, the content-💕.
NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!
The article you are looking at may not be work safe! If a boss or coworker saw this article, claim that it was spam and blame the IT guys. Otherwise, continue to read it until your lewd urges are sated. For those without comedic tastes, the so-called-experts at Misplaced Pages have an article about Your mom. PIECE OF CRAP WARNING!
This page is a piece of crap. The author acknowledges this.
Contents
1 What some famous people have to say about your mom
2 Fun facts about your mom
3 Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom
4 Also...
5 Allegations about your mom
6 In other countries
6.1 Scotland
6.2 Australia
6.3 Nowhere
6.4 South Africa
6.5 Other uses
6.6 Dictionary Definition
7 In popular culture
7.1 Yo Momma
What some famous people have to say about your mom
It's ya mum! Her thighs turn me on!“Your Mom goes to college!”
~ Kip Dynamite on Your Mom
“I weigh 47 pounds, and she does have an afro with a chin strap!!”
~ your mom's shadow on your mom
“I did have sexual relations with that man”
~ Bill Clinton on Your mom
“I wrote a couple of pieces about your mom”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“The worst sex partner I've ever had, hands down.”
~ Me on Your mom
“You would. Admit it.”
~ Sigmund Freud on Your mom
“*SQUAWK* You would. Admit it.”
~ Parrot on Sigmund Freud
“She's so fat, the escape velocity at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.”
~ Stephen Hawking on Your mom
“I am.”
~ Your mom on Your mom
“Better than a biscuit.”
~ Everyone on your mom
“Your mother is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“Your mom is a delightful woman with whom I enjoy spending time.”
~ The Olsen Twins on Your mom
“Back of the line.”
~ Oscar Wilde on your mom “In Soviet Russia, mom does YOU!!'”
~ Russian Reversal on your mom
“She wouldn't fetch much at my auction!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“All your mom are belong to us.”
~ CATS on your mom
“No no, brother. It's "all of your moms belong to us."”
~ CATS' brother DOGS on your mom
“I created her with a penis.”
~ God on your mom
“I´ll pitty jo' momma!!!.”
~ Mr. T on your mom
“Crikey! It's a monster.”
~ Steve Irwin on your mom
“I can't believe it's not female!”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“I DID YOUR MOM a favor, AND MADE YOU a lunch”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“You're mom is more fun than a Slinky on an Escalator!”
~ Some little girl on your mom
“Your mom is your dad's wife”
~ Captain Obvious on Your mom
“*squawk* Your mom is... *squawk* your dad's...”
~ Dying Random Parrot on Captain Obvious
“I gave that woman the clap”
~ Stewart McDonald on Your mom
Therefore
~ Isaac Newton on your mom
“oh yeah baby”
~ your dad on your mom
“YEAH BABY, YEAH!”
~ Austin Powers on your mom
“Cheap as chips!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“I don't want to work, I want to bang your mom all day.”
~ Todd Rundgren on your mom
"Your mom likes Bush!"
~ Stephen Colbert
“*silence*”
~ Dead Not-So-Random-Anymore Parrot
“What's that coming over the hill, is it your mother?, Is it your mother? ”
~ The Welsh on Your mom
“Your mom's the newest member of the nWo, brother. ”
~ Hulk Hogan on Your mom
“Your mom has been arrested for drug possession and anal rape. Bail is $500.”
~ Meg Griffin on Your mom
“Hey, Eliwood! I fucked your mom!”
~ Hector on Lord Eliwood's mom
“Meh”
~ Teh Cheat on Your mom
“She has a very small penis.”
~ Tiltyu on Eric Cartman's mom
Fun facts about your mom
Never forget to tell Your mom how much you love her.Your momma has eleven fingers and fifteen toes, and still can't count to twenty-six Your mums so fat thea Nasa octually orbits her. Yo momma is so fat, she started the Revolution revolution! Yo momma so fat, when she gets on the scales it says "to be continued..." Yo momma so ugly, she make blind muthafuckas cry Your mom is so stupid she thought that a parental control was an abortion yo momma so fat, she comes from both sides of the family Your mom has a peg leg with a kickstand Your mom has an afro with a chinstrap Your mom is a team killer acording to NYC_bLuNtRoLlEr_444 Your mom listens to Hard House / NRG. Your mom did the UN yesterday. Your mom is symbolized by the element Urmomium Your mom is still a virgin. She will probably remain a virgin unless you hire her a cabana boy. Your mom is somewhat like Helen of Troy, in that her face launched 1000 nuclear weapons, all of which were pointed at her. Interestingly enough, your mom survived the barrage. Your mom shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. Your mom sells her crack for crack. Your mom is the Uncyclopedia:Community Portal -- everyone gets a chance to enter. Your mom was exceedingly popular during a brief period in the 1980s, but then again, what wasn't?
Don't ever let Your Mom give you the evil eye!Using 'Your mom' as a comeback became popular again in the year 2000 thanks to bored Indiana residents who decided that the old 80s joke should be born again for this new "Generation Y.45-802.11bag version 5.1(2800)" Your mom got so high once at a Jimmy Buffett concert that she threw her panties at a stuffed parrot, but that doesn't mean it's okay for you and your friends to waste your lives on the devil weed. Your mom is so fat that people practice by climbing Mt. Everest before they climb her. Your mom is so fat, the astronaughts keep believing there is a dimple on the Earth Your mom is so fat that hundreds of horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly that hundreds of other horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face. Your mom is so stupid she took me to the movie theater to see "Closed For The Season". Your moms breath smells so bad she the reason people grow old and die Your mom can't get a record deal because she doesn't want it enough. Your mom is so stupid she thought that MySpace was a sexual position. Your mom is so stupid she drove on the driveway and parked on the parkway. Your mom is so ugly, yo daddy brings her to work so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. Your mom is so fat she swallowed my mom whole. Speaking of "your mom" and "come backs"... Your mom. Your mom would be horribly upset that you are wasting your life visiting this site. Your mom is so fat, she puts her tits in the overhead compartment on an airplane. Your mom's ass is so fat, that it has its own zip code. Your mom knows you spank the monkey, but loves you anyway. Your mom buys extra soft 3-ply Kleenex because she loves you anyway. Your mom was the 53rd leader of the free world. Your mom was subsequently made the 52nd through 78th states, because she was so fat. Your mom knows all about the monsters in your closet. Your mom owes me money, you douche! Your mom has apparently had sex with everyone you have ever argued with, including herself. Your mom is often confused with G.W.B and Abe Lincoln. I'm sorry, but all of them look like monkeys. Your mom is a creature from outer space. Your mom is outer space Your mom fought JFK in one of the greatest movie epics of all time. Your mom once tried Satanism, but didn't really like it. Your mom went to prom with Merv the Perv. Your mom is the mascot for the University of Arizona. Your mom had Rutgers University for lunch, Princeton University for dinner, and has the University of California as a teddy bear. Your mom is my mom. Am I confusing you? Your mom is like the Moon, big, round, and influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so stupid she failed her GED, while TAKING HER DRIVERS TEST! ZING! Your mom is so fat the city had to dig a hole through her for traffic to pass through. Your mom is so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin. Your mom is so fat, when Chris Farley tried to have sex with her he got lost for six days. When he came back out, he had a pet crab named Alfred. Your mom is so ugly, when she went to McDonalds, they couldn't serve happy meals. Neil Armstrong wasn't the first man on your mum. Your mom is so dumb that she put 20 cents in a parking meter and said "Where the fuck's my gumball?" Your mum - not mom - is so fat that she resides in the USA. Your mom is so fat and ugly and dumb that she would make a bad salesperson at GNC. Your mom is so fat, that when god created the earth and said let there be light he asked your mom to move! Your mom is so fat, that your dad rolled over three times and he was still on top of her. Your 'mom' sat next to everybody at school. Your mum is so fat that I decided to sleep with her, just to say I had. What country is so fat that is makes your mom look slim? None. Well, maybe the United States Of America, but that's beside the point. Your mom is so fat, she influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so old that she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. Your mom is so fat, that when she completes a revolution, time stops! Your mom is so old, her social security number is "I". Your mom is so ugly, she makes my mom look good. Your mom knows what you do right before going to sleep. Your mom is so ugly she doesn't look good at all when it really comes down to it. Your mom's name is actually Harriet. She's a 90 year old part Irish part Samoan woman who is currently leading an underground resitance against the future British Government. Your mom looks like Condoleeza Rice! Your mom is like a brick, flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans. The escape velocity at your mom's surface exceeds 3 * 10^8 m/s. Your mom did not understand the previous comment. It means her mass is roughly 500 times that of Sol, the sun. Your mom is like a vacumm, she sucks, she blows and she gets laid in the closet Wanna know what forever feels like? Try walking around your mom... Your mom is really a grue, who really eats her children, and when she was having you, she was still suffereing from a 9 year hangover, and wasn't able to realise that you were being born. Your lucky that your father wanted fun and to occupy his time, thats why you dont have a little brother. Your momma is so fat that she went to the beach and animal rights activists tried to push her back in the water Your mom is so fat that when she turns around, the half of her thats moving towards you turns blue, and the other half turns red. Your mom makes kitty sad... Your mom's moustache makes kitty scared... I once asked for Your mom's autograph - i thought it was the guy from Lordi Your mom is so stupid she tells YOU your mama jokes. Your mom is so stupid she calls you a son-of-a-bitch. Your mom is so slutty she is your mom and your sister-in-law. Yo momma so fat, she uses the freeway to iron her underwear. Your mum's so ugly she uses a line of make up called "Why Bother!" Your mums so ugly that when she stands on the beach the tide wont come in. Your mom's so stupid she thinks that Cross-Dressing is what you put on your salad. Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom Your Mom is so ugly, someone decided to stop pasting in the words "your mom". Your Mom was good last night and I left her money under the pillow. Your Mom is the Invisible man + Crack Your Mom is Phat.Also, penis. Your Mom gives great hummers! Your Mom has a really nice hat Your Mom has a huge crush on Barry Manilow, and has been mailing him her diary entries weekly for over two decades, doodle-hearts and all. Your Mom only lets your friends over for sleep-overs because she gets a little action with them while you sleep. Your Mom secretly likes the smell of her own flatus. Now you know where you get it from. Your Mom is like a Bowling Ball. She gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, yet she still comes back for more. Your Mom bucked like Bambi in a forest fire while I was riding her last night. I had to grab her love handles with both hands to stay on. No wonder she demanded I tie her to the hood of the SUV before we started. Don't worry, Your Mom is still a virgin. You were a backdoor baby. Your Mom knows the exact come-on line which lead to your conception. Your Mom is really a homeless man living in Iraq. The Government does not want you to know this, so they handed you over to some fat bitch Your Mom thought you were an exceptionally large crap. Your Mom is actually Richard Simmons in disguise. The term motherfucker refers, specifically, to Your Mom. In a year's time, another term, far worse than motherfucker, will gain currency. It will be so scatologically vile that most nations will establish crimes for its usage. It, too, will refer, specifically, to Your Mom. Your Mom is Chief Test Engineer for the Jack Rabbit Massager Corporation. Your Mom wears crotchless panties. And a Peep Hole bra. Your Mom uses duo-balls to relieve the tedium of shopping. Your Mom is so evil, she forced this person to continue putting in the words "your mom". Your mom also enjoys using ben-wa gerbils. Your mom bangs like a shit-house door in a Force 9 gale. Your mom is really Bill Gates. Your mom has a dick. And it's dick is bigger than your dick. Your mom is so fat that she has nine zip codes and none of them border on each other. Your mom is so ugly that the Devil slapped her for smiling and then gouged his eyes out with his pitchfork. Your mom is also Tubgirl. Your mom is in love with Mr. Goatse. Your mom is a cam whore! Your mom eats dead babies. Your mom is so goddamn fat that her NASA sent a space probe to orbit her ass. They never heard from it again. Your mom has a job, and is a respected part of the community. Your mom is so fat, she entered a fat contest and won first, second, and third. Your mom is so fat that Stevie Wonder sees her Your mom isn't really a man. Shes a hermaphrodite. your mom is so old and fat that when she stood up one day she caused the ice age. *your mom is so old she witnessed david killing goliath and she was a waitress at the last supper. your mom is so fat, that when she saw a yellow bus full of white kids go by, she said "stop that twinkie!" Your mom is Barry the Manny your mom is so poor that when i saw her kicking a can down the road, i asked what she was doing.She replied saying i'm moving! Your mom is so disgusting, she is Crystal Pepsi! Your mom was 35 when Jesus was born! Your mom is the age of God! Your mom is poop. Your mom is so fat, her ass has it’s own congressman. (And her congressman was bitch-slapped by Stephen Colbert for being a pussy liberal.) Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the zoo the elephants throw peanuts at her! Your mom is so fat when she walks down the street she walks down the street! Your mom is so emo she saw a run-over squirrel, brought it home, named it George and bragged about it to her whole friends list. Your mom is so fat and emo she cut herself and bled butter. Your mom is so emo she spends $20 on a worn out, vintage looking shirt that was fresh off the shelf at Hot Topic. Your mom is so emo the Grim Reaper had to put out a restraining order. Your mom is so fat, that her period is an exclamation mark! Your mom was, when he made you. your mom is so fat, she cleans her clothes on the driveway Your mom is Russian and stupid, therefore, she thinks you are her. Your mom is so fat, when she is done wiping her ass, the Charmin baby is in its late teens. Your mom has just read this. And she is not amused. Your moms so stupid she sold her car for gas money Also...
Your mom on a regular day.
Your mom on a Good Day.
Your mom on a Really Good Day.
Not your mom.
Allegations about your mom Dear Reader Kyle Rainforth Is A BITCH!!!!! So is Jonny Shoring You have two dads. And both of them are gay. With each other. Your two dads are George W Bush and Sadam Hussein Suzie has four dads. Five are in shallow graves. How many dads are you? Your mother has had sexual relations with all your base. Your mother tried to hang herself with a cordless phone. Your mom Is Darth Vader My other car is your mom. (OHHH! DISSED!) My other mom is your car. (!DESSID !HHHO) Your mom is a necrophiliac Your mom lost her viginity to a bucking bronco Your mom lost her virginity to you... So you are a bucking bronco and I lost my virginity to a bucking bronco. Fortunately, not all aligations are true. And these jokes suck balls. Your mum had sex with your dad, same with your neighbours mum. Your mother is from the plannet Endor and is a Wookie Your mom looks like a hoe In other countries Scotland 'Your maw' is a Scottish colloquialism that derives from the phrase 'Your Mother'. Originally a phrase in English used to indicated someone’s birth parent, this Scottish version is most commonly used as way to put down people who have wronged you (or fucked you off as the natives would put it).
Examples of the phrases use are the following:
"Shut up ya baw bag or i'll beat you so hard your maw will feel it!" "I'm ge'in so fat 'cause a'time i have your maw she geez me a sandwich." It can also be used in place of the common phrase 'Fuck Off' to end an argument:
Speaker 1: "You are a toetal dick by the whay!" Speaker 2: "You wheesht or i'll end you ya baw sack!!" Speaker 1: "Whituver ya wee fanny!" Speaker 2: *as dismissal* "Pshhh, your maw!" People should however be wary of using it in the latter sence as it will often lead to what is affectionately known as a Glasgow Kiss or if in certain parts of Govan, a Glessing.
Australia Your Mum
Nowhere (Also known as Norway)
Mora di er mann, og faren din er homo. Ha ha ha.
wait for your little yellow Babelfish to zdecode this gibberish* Your mom is a man and your dad is gay. Pancakes.
South Africa 'Jou ma' is a common phrase used to rebut an argument. It is often used in conjunction with 'se poes' or 'se gat' to form the often heard 'Jou ma se poes!' or 'Jou ma se gat!' which roughly translated means 'Your moms vagina' and 'Your moms asshole!' respectivly, although the former is the one more often used.
Other uses Your mom is also used in as a lazy phrase to indicate someone having had sexual intercourse with an adversary’s mother. This is used often in cajoling and in defensive/offensive verbal banter between neds (who's natural habitats include Glasgow, Edinburgh and All of England; though English neds are weaklings and hardly worth counting) that often results in a battling not too dissimilar to that portrayed in the cartoon Pokemon. The battling invariably ends in one neds humiliation at which point he will run home to aforementioned 'sexually abused mother' to grass up who has just clattered him and stained his Fila trackies with grass, pish and bucky. If people are feeling particularly intelligent that day then the phrase can be used as a way of turning the conversation around on the other person. e.g.
person 1: “Hey, you poked a hole in my balloon! I hate you!” person 2: “I poked a hole in your mom last night.” Dictionary Definition "wen ppl hav nothin better 2 offend ppl, they refer 2 'your mom' meaning your mam, they are trying to say they have shagged her basically" quoted from the Urban Dictionary. "Ay your mom:- I don't believe you." quoted from the BBC site. "AAAA AAA" - AAAAAAAAA! "Jou Ma" - Afrikaans "Dei Muada" - Austrian "J0|2 (V)0(V)" - Leet "Je Moeder" - Dutch "Yo Momma" - Ebonics "Ta Mère" - French "???? ????" - Russian "Tvoja mama" - Slovene "Deine Mutter" - German "??? ???" or "????'?" - Really Bad Hebrew "? ?????? ???" - Greek "La Vostra Madre" - Italian "Your Mother" - England - English "Dirka dirka' - Arabic "Anyád" - Hungarian "Do Mháthair" - Irish "Omm tieg?ek" - Maltese "Mora di" or "mor di" - Norwegian "Twoja Stara" - Polish "A Tua Mãe" - Portuguese; "Sua Mãe" (Brazillian) "???? ????" or "???? ????!" - Russian "Tu Madre" - Spanish; "Tu Vieja" (Spanish slang) "?? ???" - Arabic "??????" - Japanese "???" - Korean "???" - Chinese "InnaMOY" - Tagalog "Ya Mum - Australian "Sun Mutsis" - Finnish "Din Mamma!" - Swedish "Tavo motuže." - Lithuanian "Ma(-ta aia curva si cheala" - Româna( "Din mor" - Danish "?????? ?????" - Bulgarian "Senin annen" - Turkish "Tu Jefa" or "Tu Mama" - Modern Mexican "Mama kau" - Malaysian Malay "Tua mater" - Latin "Sinu ema!" - Estonian In popular culture Yo Momma Yo Momma is a television series created by George Dubya Bush himself to destroy any credibility our nation has left by lowering our already pathetically low standards of entertainment. Also it airs on MTV2 and maybe MTV Sometimes.
Overview - The show Itself is hosted by a perennial jackass named Wimer Valderama. This man from what experts have gathered is a bastard child. In the Show contestants compete by, "Slinging their Slander" at each other, these jokes don't have to be about the other contestants' mothers but you get extra points if you can tell a 'Yo Momma' joke without looking like an asshole. For Example:
Yo Momma so fat, she's... really fuckin' fat, dawg.
Round One - The show is divided into rounds, round one being the free for all round, where anyone, from hardcore blacksters to asians dudes with nerdy specs can compete, the winner gets to go on to a one-on-one match with the winner from the other side of town, as I'm sure you can imagine all rounds go like this.
"Your mother is, so black, I turned out the lights and couldn't see her." "Yo Momma so asian, she walks out side and peeps asked where she got a full body raincoat" One-on-One Rounds - Next the one-on-one matches begin, the winner getting some "Cash Moooney" and dying a little on the inside, because this was and is their greatest accopmlishment.
Sometime within the match
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Contents
1 What some famous people have to say about your mom
2 Fun facts about your mom
3 Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom
4 Also...
5 Allegations about your mom
6 In other countries
6.1 Scotland
6.2 Australia
6.3 Nowhere
6.4 South Africa
6.5 Other uses
6.6 Dictionary Definition
7 In popular culture
7.1 Yo Momma
What some famous people have to say about your mom
It's ya mum! Her thighs turn me on!“Your Mom goes to college!”
~ Kip Dynamite on Your Mom
“I weigh 47 pounds, and she does have an afro with a chin strap!!”
~ your mom's shadow on your mom
“I did have sexual relations with that man”
~ Bill Clinton on Your mom
“I wrote a couple of pieces about your mom”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“The worst sex partner I've ever had, hands down.”
~ Me on Your mom
“You would. Admit it.”
~ Sigmund Freud on Your mom
“*SQUAWK* You would. Admit it.”
~ Parrot on Sigmund Freud
“She's so fat, the escape velocity at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.”
~ Stephen Hawking on Your mom
“I am.”
~ Your mom on Your mom
“Better than a biscuit.”
~ Everyone on your mom
“Your mother is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“Your mom is a delightful woman with whom I enjoy spending time.”
~ The Olsen Twins on Your mom
“Back of the line.”
~ Oscar Wilde on your mom “In Soviet Russia, mom does YOU!!'”
~ Russian Reversal on your mom
“She wouldn't fetch much at my auction!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“All your mom are belong to us.”
~ CATS on your mom
“No no, brother. It's "all of your moms belong to us."”
~ CATS' brother DOGS on your mom
“I created her with a penis.”
~ God on your mom
“I´ll pitty jo' momma!!!.”
~ Mr. T on your mom
“Crikey! It's a monster.”
~ Steve Irwin on your mom
“I can't believe it's not female!”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“I DID YOUR MOM a favor, AND MADE YOU a lunch”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“You're mom is more fun than a Slinky on an Escalator!”
~ Some little girl on your mom
“Your mom is your dad's wife”
~ Captain Obvious on Your mom
“*squawk* Your mom is... *squawk* your dad's...”
~ Dying Random Parrot on Captain Obvious
“I gave that woman the clap”
~ Stewart McDonald on Your mom
Therefore
~ Isaac Newton on your mom
“oh yeah baby”
~ your dad on your mom
“YEAH BABY, YEAH!”
~ Austin Powers on your mom
“Cheap as chips!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“I don't want to work, I want to bang your mom all day.”
~ Todd Rundgren on your mom
"Your mom likes Bush!"
~ Stephen Colbert
“*silence*”
~ Dead Not-So-Random-Anymore Parrot
“What's that coming over the hill, is it your mother?, Is it your mother? ”
~ The Welsh on Your mom
“Your mom's the newest member of the nWo, brother. ”
~ Hulk Hogan on Your mom
“Your mom has been arrested for drug possession and anal rape. Bail is $500.”
~ Meg Griffin on Your mom
“Hey, Eliwood! I fucked your mom!”
~ Hector on Lord Eliwood's mom
“Meh”
~ Teh Cheat on Your mom
“She has a very small penis.”
~ Tiltyu on Eric Cartman's mom
Fun facts about your mom
Never forget to tell Your mom how much you love her.Your momma has eleven fingers and fifteen toes, and still can't count to twenty-six Your mums so fat thea Nasa octually orbits her. Yo momma is so fat, she started the Revolution revolution! Yo momma so fat, when she gets on the scales it says "to be continued..." Yo momma so ugly, she make blind muthafuckas cry Your mom is so stupid she thought that a parental control was an abortion yo momma so fat, she comes from both sides of the family Your mom has a peg leg with a kickstand Your mom has an afro with a chinstrap Your mom is a team killer acording to NYC_bLuNtRoLlEr_444 Your mom listens to Hard House / NRG. Your mom did the UN yesterday. Your mom is symbolized by the element Urmomium Your mom is still a virgin. She will probably remain a virgin unless you hire her a cabana boy. Your mom is somewhat like Helen of Troy, in that her face launched 1000 nuclear weapons, all of which were pointed at her. Interestingly enough, your mom survived the barrage. Your mom shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. Your mom sells her crack for crack. Your mom is the Uncyclopedia:Community Portal -- everyone gets a chance to enter. Your mom was exceedingly popular during a brief period in the 1980s, but then again, what wasn't?
Don't ever let Your Mom give you the evil eye!Using 'Your mom' as a comeback became popular again in the year 2000 thanks to bored Indiana residents who decided that the old 80s joke should be born again for this new "Generation Y.45-802.11bag version 5.1(2800)" Your mom got so high once at a Jimmy Buffett concert that she threw her panties at a stuffed parrot, but that doesn't mean it's okay for you and your friends to waste your lives on the devil weed. Your mom is so fat that people practice by climbing Mt. Everest before they climb her. Your mom is so fat, the astronaughts keep believing there is a dimple on the Earth Your mom is so fat that hundreds of horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly that hundreds of other horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face. Your mom is so stupid she took me to the movie theater to see "Closed For The Season". Your moms breath smells so bad she the reason people grow old and die Your mom can't get a record deal because she doesn't want it enough. Your mom is so stupid she thought that MySpace was a sexual position. Your mom is so stupid she drove on the driveway and parked on the parkway. Your mom is so ugly, yo daddy brings her to work so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. Your mom is so fat she swallowed my mom whole. Speaking of "your mom" and "come backs"... Your mom. Your mom would be horribly upset that you are wasting your life visiting this site. Your mom is so fat, she puts her tits in the overhead compartment on an airplane. Your mom's ass is so fat, that it has its own zip code. Your mom knows you spank the monkey, but loves you anyway. Your mom buys extra soft 3-ply Kleenex because she loves you anyway. Your mom was the 53rd leader of the free world. Your mom was subsequently made the 52nd through 78th states, because she was so fat. Your mom knows all about the monsters in your closet. Your mom owes me money, you douche! Your mom has apparently had sex with everyone you have ever argued with, including herself. Your mom is often confused with G.W.B and Abe Lincoln. I'm sorry, but all of them look like monkeys. Your mom is a creature from outer space. Your mom is outer space Your mom fought JFK in one of the greatest movie epics of all time. Your mom once tried Satanism, but didn't really like it. Your mom went to prom with Merv the Perv. Your mom is the mascot for the University of Arizona. Your mom had Rutgers University for lunch, Princeton University for dinner, and has the University of California as a teddy bear. Your mom is my mom. Am I confusing you? Your mom is like the Moon, big, round, and influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so stupid she failed her GED, while TAKING HER DRIVERS TEST! ZING! Your mom is so fat the city had to dig a hole through her for traffic to pass through. Your mom is so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin. Your mom is so fat, when Chris Farley tried to have sex with her he got lost for six days. When he came back out, he had a pet crab named Alfred. Your mom is so ugly, when she went to McDonalds, they couldn't serve happy meals. Neil Armstrong wasn't the first man on your mum. Your mom is so dumb that she put 20 cents in a parking meter and said "Where the fuck's my gumball?" Your mum - not mom - is so fat that she resides in the USA. Your mom is so fat and ugly and dumb that she would make a bad salesperson at GNC. Your mom is so fat, that when god created the earth and said let there be light he asked your mom to move! Your mom is so fat, that your dad rolled over three times and he was still on top of her. Your 'mom' sat next to everybody at school. Your mum is so fat that I decided to sleep with her, just to say I had. What country is so fat that is makes your mom look slim? None. Well, maybe the United States Of America, but that's beside the point. Your mom is so fat, she influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so old that she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. Your mom is so fat, that when she completes a revolution, time stops! Your mom is so old, her social security number is "I". Your mom is so ugly, she makes my mom look good. Your mom knows what you do right before going to sleep. Your mom is so ugly she doesn't look good at all when it really comes down to it. Your mom's name is actually Harriet. She's a 90 year old part Irish part Samoan woman who is currently leading an underground resitance against the future British Government. Your mom looks like Condoleeza Rice! Your mom is like a brick, flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans. The escape velocity at your mom's surface exceeds 3 * 10^8 m/s. Your mom did not understand the previous comment. It means her mass is roughly 500 times that of Sol, the sun. Your mom is like a vacumm, she sucks, she blows and she gets laid in the closet Wanna know what forever feels like? Try walking around your mom... Your mom is really a grue, who really eats her children, and when she was having you, she was still suffereing from a 9 year hangover, and wasn't able to realise that you were being born. Your lucky that your father wanted fun and to occupy his time, thats why you dont have a little brother. Your momma is so fat that she went to the beach and animal rights activists tried to push her back in the water Your mom is so fat that when she turns around, the half of her thats moving towards you turns blue, and the other half turns red. Your mom makes kitty sad... Your mom's moustache makes kitty scared... I once asked for Your mom's autograph - i thought it was the guy from Lordi Your mom is so stupid she tells YOU your mama jokes. Your mom is so stupid she calls you a son-of-a-bitch. Your mom is so slutty she is your mom and your sister-in-law. Yo momma so fat, she uses the freeway to iron her underwear. Your mum's so ugly she uses a line of make up called "Why Bother!" Your mums so ugly that when she stands on the beach the tide wont come in. Your mom's so stupid she thinks that Cross-Dressing is what you put on your salad. Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom Your Mom is so ugly, someone decided to stop pasting in the words "your mom". Your Mom was good last night and I left her money under the pillow. Your Mom is the Invisible man + Crack Your Mom is Phat.Also, penis. Your Mom gives great hummers! Your Mom has a really nice hat Your Mom has a huge crush on Barry Manilow, and has been mailing him her diary entries weekly for over two decades, doodle-hearts and all. Your Mom only lets your friends over for sleep-overs because she gets a little action with them while you sleep. Your Mom secretly likes the smell of her own flatus. Now you know where you get it from. Your Mom is like a Bowling Ball. She gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, yet she still comes back for more. Your Mom bucked like Bambi in a forest fire while I was riding her last night. I had to grab her love handles with both hands to stay on. No wonder she demanded I tie her to the hood of the SUV before we started. Don't worry, Your Mom is still a virgin. You were a backdoor baby. Your Mom knows the exact come-on line which lead to your conception. Your Mom is really a homeless man living in Iraq. The Government does not want you to know this, so they handed you over to some fat bitch Your Mom thought you were an exceptionally large crap. Your Mom is actually Richard Simmons in disguise. The term motherfucker refers, specifically, to Your Mom. In a year's time, another term, far worse than motherfucker, will gain currency. It will be so scatologically vile that most nations will establish crimes for its usage. It, too, will refer, specifically, to Your Mom. Your Mom is Chief Test Engineer for the Jack Rabbit Massager Corporation. Your Mom wears crotchless panties. And a Peep Hole bra. Your Mom uses duo-balls to relieve the tedium of shopping. Your Mom is so evil, she forced this person to continue putting in the words "your mom". Your mom also enjoys using ben-wa gerbils. Your mom bangs like a shit-house door in a Force 9 gale. Your mom is really Bill Gates. Your mom has a dick. And it's dick is bigger than your dick. Your mom is so fat that she has nine zip codes and none of them border on each other. Your mom is so ugly that the Devil slapped her for smiling and then gouged his eyes out with his pitchfork. Your mom is also Tubgirl. Your mom is in love with Mr. Goatse. Your mom is a cam whore! Your mom eats dead babies. Your mom is so goddamn fat that her NASA sent a space probe to orbit her ass. They never heard from it again. Your mom has a job, and is a respected part of the community. Your mom is so fat, she entered a fat contest and won first, second, and third. Your mom is so fat that Stevie Wonder sees her Your mom isn't really a man. Shes a hermaphrodite. your mom is so old and fat that when she stood up one day she caused the ice age. *your mom is so old she witnessed david killing goliath and she was a waitress at the last supper. your mom is so fat, that when she saw a yellow bus full of white kids go by, she said "stop that twinkie!" Your mom is Barry the Manny your mom is so poor that when i saw her kicking a can down the road, i asked what she was doing.She replied saying i'm moving! Your mom is so disgusting, she is Crystal Pepsi! Your mom was 35 when Jesus was born! Your mom is the age of God! Your mom is poop. Your mom is so fat, her ass has it’s own congressman. (And her congressman was bitch-slapped by Stephen Colbert for being a pussy liberal.) Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the zoo the elephants throw peanuts at her! Your mom is so fat when she walks down the street she walks down the street! Your mom is so emo she saw a run-over squirrel, brought it home, named it George and bragged about it to her whole friends list. Your mom is so fat and emo she cut herself and bled butter. Your mom is so emo she spends $20 on a worn out, vintage looking shirt that was fresh off the shelf at Hot Topic. Your mom is so emo the Grim Reaper had to put out a restraining order. Your mom is so fat, that her period is an exclamation mark! Your mom was, when he made you. your mom is so fat, she cleans her clothes on the driveway Your mom is Russian and stupid, therefore, she thinks you are her. Your mom is so fat, when she is done wiping her ass, the Charmin baby is in its late teens. Your mom has just read this. And she is not amused. Your moms so stupid she sold her car for gas money Also...
Your mom on a regular day.
Your mom on a Good Day.
Your mom on a Really Good Day.
Not your mom.
Allegations about your mom Dear Reader Kyle Rainforth Is A BITCH!!!!! So is Jonny Shoring You have two dads. And both of them are gay. With each other. Your two dads are George W Bush and Sadam Hussein Suzie has four dads. Five are in shallow graves. How many dads are you? Your mother has had sexual relations with all your base. Your mother tried to hang herself with a cordless phone. Your mom Is Darth Vader My other car is your mom. (OHHH! DISSED!) My other mom is your car. (!DESSID !HHHO) Your mom is a necrophiliac Your mom lost her viginity to a bucking bronco Your mom lost her virginity to you... So you are a bucking bronco and I lost my virginity to a bucking bronco. Fortunately, not all aligations are true. And these jokes suck balls. Your mum had sex with your dad, same with your neighbours mum. Your mother is from the plannet Endor and is a Wookie Your mom looks like a hoe In other countries Scotland 'Your maw' is a Scottish colloquialism that derives from the phrase 'Your Mother'. Originally a phrase in English used to indicated someone’s birth parent, this Scottish version is most commonly used as way to put down people who have wronged you (or fucked you off as the natives would put it).
Examples of the phrases use are the following:
"Shut up ya baw bag or i'll beat you so hard your maw will feel it!" "I'm ge'in so fat 'cause a'time i have your maw she geez me a sandwich." It can also be used in place of the common phrase 'Fuck Off' to end an argument:
Speaker 1: "You are a toetal dick by the whay!" Speaker 2: "You wheesht or i'll end you ya baw sack!!" Speaker 1: "Whituver ya wee fanny!" Speaker 2: *as dismissal* "Pshhh, your maw!" People should however be wary of using it in the latter sence as it will often lead to what is affectionately known as a Glasgow Kiss or if in certain parts of Govan, a Glessing.
Australia Your Mum
Nowhere (Also known as Norway)
Mora di er mann, og faren din er homo. Ha ha ha.
wait for your little yellow Babelfish to zdecode this gibberish* Your mom is a man and your dad is gay. Pancakes.
South Africa 'Jou ma' is a common phrase used to rebut an argument. It is often used in conjunction with 'se poes' or 'se gat' to form the often heard 'Jou ma se poes!' or 'Jou ma se gat!' which roughly translated means 'Your moms vagina' and 'Your moms asshole!' respectivly, although the former is the one more often used.
Other uses Your mom is also used in as a lazy phrase to indicate someone having had sexual intercourse with an adversary’s mother. This is used often in cajoling and in defensive/offensive verbal banter between neds (who's natural habitats include Glasgow, Edinburgh and All of England; though English neds are weaklings and hardly worth counting) that often results in a battling not too dissimilar to that portrayed in the cartoon Pokemon. The battling invariably ends in one neds humiliation at which point he will run home to aforementioned 'sexually abused mother' to grass up who has just clattered him and stained his Fila trackies with grass, pish and bucky. If people are feeling particularly intelligent that day then the phrase can be used as a way of turning the conversation around on the other person. e.g.
person 1: “Hey, you poked a hole in my balloon! I hate you!” person 2: “I poked a hole in your mom last night.” Dictionary Definition "wen ppl hav nothin better 2 offend ppl, they refer 2 'your mom' meaning your mam, they are trying to say they have shagged her basically" quoted from the Urban Dictionary. "Ay your mom:- I don't believe you." quoted from the BBC site. "AAAA AAA" - AAAAAAAAA! "Jou Ma" - Afrikaans "Dei Muada" - Austrian "J0|2 (V)0(V)" - Leet "Je Moeder" - Dutch "Yo Momma" - Ebonics "Ta Mère" - French "???? ????" - Russian "Tvoja mama" - Slovene "Deine Mutter" - German "??? ???" or "????'?" - Really Bad Hebrew "? ?????? ???" - Greek "La Vostra Madre" - Italian "Your Mother" - England - English "Dirka dirka' - Arabic "Anyád" - Hungarian "Do Mháthair" - Irish "Omm tieg?ek" - Maltese "Mora di" or "mor di" - Norwegian "Twoja Stara" - Polish "A Tua Mãe" - Portuguese; "Sua Mãe" (Brazillian) "???? ????" or "???? ????!" - Russian "Tu Madre" - Spanish; "Tu Vieja" (Spanish slang) "?? ???" - Arabic "??????" - Japanese "???" - Korean "???" - Chinese "InnaMOY" - Tagalog "Ya Mum - Australian "Sun Mutsis" - Finnish "Din Mamma!" - Swedish "Tavo motuže." - Lithuanian "Ma(-ta aia curva si cheala" - Româna( "Din mor" - Danish "?????? ?????" - Bulgarian "Senin annen" - Turkish "Tu Jefa" or "Tu Mama" - Modern Mexican "Mama kau" - Malaysian Malay "Tua mater" - Latin "Sinu ema!" - Estonian In popular culture Yo Momma Yo Momma is a television series created by George Dubya Bush himself to destroy any credibility our nation has left by lowering our already pathetically low standards of entertainment. Also it airs on MTV2 and maybe MTV Sometimes.
Overview - The show Itself is hosted by a perennial jackass named Wimer Valderama. This man from what experts have gathered is a bastard child. In the Show contestants compete by, "Slinging their Slander" at each other, these jokes don't have to be about the other contestants' mothers but you get extra points if you can tell a 'Yo Momma' joke without looking like an asshole. For Example:
Yo Momma so fat, she's... really fuckin' fat, dawg.
Round One - The show is divided into rounds, round one being the free for all round, where anyone, from hardcore blacksters to asians dudes with nerdy specs can compete, the winner gets to go on to a one-on-one match with the winner from the other side of town, as I'm sure you can imagine all rounds go like this.
"Your mother is, so black, I turned out the lights and couldn't see her." "Yo Momma so asian, she walks out side and peeps asked where she got a full body raincoat" One-on-One Rounds - Next the one-on-one matches begin, the winner getting some "Cash Moooney" and dying a little on the inside, because this was and is their greatest accopmlishment.
Sometime within the match
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Contents
1 What some famous people have to say about your mom
2 Fun facts about your mom
3 Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom
4 Also...
5 Allegations about your mom
6 In other countries
6.1 Scotland
6.2 Australia
6.3 Nowhere
6.4 South Africa
6.5 Other uses
6.6 Dictionary Definition
7 In popular culture
7.1 Yo Momma
What some famous people have to say about your mom
It's ya mum! Her thighs turn me on!“Your Mom goes to college!”
~ Kip Dynamite on Your Mom
“I weigh 47 pounds, and she does have an afro with a chin strap!!”
~ your mom's shadow on your mom
“I did have sexual relations with that man”
~ Bill Clinton on Your mom
“I wrote a couple of pieces about your mom”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“The worst sex partner I've ever had, hands down.”
~ Me on Your mom
“You would. Admit it.”
~ Sigmund Freud on Your mom
“*SQUAWK* You would. Admit it.”
~ Parrot on Sigmund Freud
“She's so fat, the escape velocity at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.”
~ Stephen Hawking on Your mom
“I am.”
~ Your mom on Your mom
“Better than a biscuit.”
~ Everyone on your mom
“Your mother is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“Your mom is a delightful woman with whom I enjoy spending time.”
~ The Olsen Twins on Your mom
“Back of the line.”
~ Oscar Wilde on your mom “In Soviet Russia, mom does YOU!!'”
~ Russian Reversal on your mom
“She wouldn't fetch much at my auction!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“All your mom are belong to us.”
~ CATS on your mom
“No no, brother. It's "all of your moms belong to us."”
~ CATS' brother DOGS on your mom
“I created her with a penis.”
~ God on your mom
“I´ll pitty jo' momma!!!.”
~ Mr. T on your mom
“Crikey! It's a monster.”
~ Steve Irwin on your mom
“I can't believe it's not female!”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“I DID YOUR MOM a favor, AND MADE YOU a lunch”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“You're mom is more fun than a Slinky on an Escalator!”
~ Some little girl on your mom
“Your mom is your dad's wife”
~ Captain Obvious on Your mom
“*squawk* Your mom is... *squawk* your dad's...”
~ Dying Random Parrot on Captain Obvious
“I gave that woman the clap”
~ Stewart McDonald on Your mom
Therefore
~ Isaac Newton on your mom
“oh yeah baby”
~ your dad on your mom
“YEAH BABY, YEAH!”
~ Austin Powers on your mom
“Cheap as chips!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“I don't want to work, I want to bang your mom all day.”
~ Todd Rundgren on your mom
"Your mom likes Bush!"
~ Stephen Colbert
“*silence*”
~ Dead Not-So-Random-Anymore Parrot
“What's that coming over the hill, is it your mother?, Is it your mother? ”
~ The Welsh on Your mom
“Your mom's the newest member of the nWo, brother. ”
~ Hulk Hogan on Your mom
“Your mom has been arrested for drug possession and anal rape. Bail is $500.”
~ Meg Griffin on Your mom
“Hey, Eliwood! I fucked your mom!”
~ Hector on Lord Eliwood's mom
“Meh”
~ Teh Cheat on Your mom
“She has a very small penis.”
~ Tiltyu on Eric Cartman's mom
Fun facts about your mom
Never forget to tell Your mom how much you love her.Your momma has eleven fingers and fifteen toes, and still can't count to twenty-six Your mums so fat thea Nasa octually orbits her. Yo momma is so fat, she started the Revolution revolution! Yo momma so fat, when she gets on the scales it says "to be continued..." Yo momma so ugly, she make blind muthafuckas cry Your mom is so stupid she thought that a parental control was an abortion yo momma so fat, she comes from both sides of the family Your mom has a peg leg with a kickstand Your mom has an afro with a chinstrap Your mom is a team killer acording to NYC_bLuNtRoLlEr_444 Your mom listens to Hard House / NRG. Your mom did the UN yesterday. Your mom is symbolized by the element Urmomium Your mom is still a virgin. She will probably remain a virgin unless you hire her a cabana boy. Your mom is somewhat like Helen of Troy, in that her face launched 1000 nuclear weapons, all of which were pointed at her. Interestingly enough, your mom survived the barrage. Your mom shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. Your mom sells her crack for crack. Your mom is the Uncyclopedia:Community Portal -- everyone gets a chance to enter. Your mom was exceedingly popular during a brief period in the 1980s, but then again, what wasn't?
Don't ever let Your Mom give you the evil eye!Using 'Your mom' as a comeback became popular again in the year 2000 thanks to bored Indiana residents who decided that the old 80s joke should be born again for this new "Generation Y.45-802.11bag version 5.1(2800)" Your mom got so high once at a Jimmy Buffett concert that she threw her panties at a stuffed parrot, but that doesn't mean it's okay for you and your friends to waste your lives on the devil weed. Your mom is so fat that people practice by climbing Mt. Everest before they climb her. Your mom is so fat, the astronaughts keep believing there is a dimple on the Earth Your mom is so fat that hundreds of horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly that hundreds of other horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face. Your mom is so stupid she took me to the movie theater to see "Closed For The Season". Your moms breath smells so bad she the reason people grow old and die Your mom can't get a record deal because she doesn't want it enough. Your mom is so stupid she thought that MySpace was a sexual position. Your mom is so stupid she drove on the driveway and parked on the parkway. Your mom is so ugly, yo daddy brings her to work so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. Your mom is so fat she swallowed my mom whole. Speaking of "your mom" and "come backs"... Your mom. Your mom would be horribly upset that you are wasting your life visiting this site. Your mom is so fat, she puts her tits in the overhead compartment on an airplane. Your mom's ass is so fat, that it has its own zip code. Your mom knows you spank the monkey, but loves you anyway. Your mom buys extra soft 3-ply Kleenex because she loves you anyway. Your mom was the 53rd leader of the free world. Your mom was subsequently made the 52nd through 78th states, because she was so fat. Your mom knows all about the monsters in your closet. Your mom owes me money, you douche! Your mom has apparently had sex with everyone you have ever argued with, including herself. Your mom is often confused with G.W.B and Abe Lincoln. I'm sorry, but all of them look like monkeys. Your mom is a creature from outer space. Your mom is outer space Your mom fought JFK in one of the greatest movie epics of all time. Your mom once tried Satanism, but didn't really like it. Your mom went to prom with Merv the Perv. Your mom is the mascot for the University of Arizona. Your mom had Rutgers University for lunch, Princeton University for dinner, and has the University of California as a teddy bear. Your mom is my mom. Am I confusing you? Your mom is like the Moon, big, round, and influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so stupid she failed her GED, while TAKING HER DRIVERS TEST! ZING! Your mom is so fat the city had to dig a hole through her for traffic to pass through. Your mom is so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin. Your mom is so fat, when Chris Farley tried to have sex with her he got lost for six days. When he came back out, he had a pet crab named Alfred. Your mom is so ugly, when she went to McDonalds, they couldn't serve happy meals. Neil Armstrong wasn't the first man on your mum. Your mom is so dumb that she put 20 cents in a parking meter and said "Where the fuck's my gumball?" Your mum - not mom - is so fat that she resides in the USA. Your mom is so fat and ugly and dumb that she would make a bad salesperson at GNC. Your mom is so fat, that when god created the earth and said let there be light he asked your mom to move! Your mom is so fat, that your dad rolled over three times and he was still on top of her. Your 'mom' sat next to everybody at school. Your mum is so fat that I decided to sleep with her, just to say I had. What country is so fat that is makes your mom look slim? None. Well, maybe the United States Of America, but that's beside the point. Your mom is so fat, she influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so old that she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. Your mom is so fat, that when she completes a revolution, time stops! Your mom is so old, her social security number is "I". Your mom is so ugly, she makes my mom look good. Your mom knows what you do right before going to sleep. Your mom is so ugly she doesn't look good at all when it really comes down to it. Your mom's name is actually Harriet. She's a 90 year old part Irish part Samoan woman who is currently leading an underground resitance against the future British Government. Your mom looks like Condoleeza Rice! Your mom is like a brick, flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans. The escape velocity at your mom's surface exceeds 3 * 10^8 m/s. Your mom did not understand the previous comment. It means her mass is roughly 500 times that of Sol, the sun. Your mom is like a vacumm, she sucks, she blows and she gets laid in the closet Wanna know what forever feels like? Try walking around your mom... Your mom is really a grue, who really eats her children, and when she was having you, she was still suffereing from a 9 year hangover, and wasn't able to realise that you were being born. Your lucky that your father wanted fun and to occupy his time, thats why you dont have a little brother. Your momma is so fat that she went to the beach and animal rights activists tried to push her back in the water Your mom is so fat that when she turns around, the half of her thats moving towards you turns blue, and the other half turns red. Your mom makes kitty sad... Your mom's moustache makes kitty scared... I once asked for Your mom's autograph - i thought it was the guy from Lordi Your mom is so stupid she tells YOU your mama jokes. Your mom is so stupid she calls you a son-of-a-bitch. Your mom is so slutty she is your mom and your sister-in-law. Yo momma so fat, she uses the freeway to iron her underwear. Your mum's so ugly she uses a line of make up called "Why Bother!" Your mums so ugly that when she stands on the beach the tide wont come in. Your mom's so stupid she thinks that Cross-Dressing is what you put on your salad. Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom Your Mom is so ugly, someone decided to stop pasting in the words "your mom". Your Mom was good last night and I left her money under the pillow. Your Mom is the Invisible man + Crack Your Mom is Phat.Also, penis. Your Mom gives great hummers! Your Mom has a really nice hat Your Mom has a huge crush on Barry Manilow, and has been mailing him her diary entries weekly for over two decades, doodle-hearts and all. Your Mom only lets your friends over for sleep-overs because she gets a little action with them while you sleep. Your Mom secretly likes the smell of her own flatus. Now you know where you get it from. Your Mom is like a Bowling Ball. She gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, yet she still comes back for more. Your Mom bucked like Bambi in a forest fire while I was riding her last night. I had to grab her love handles with both hands to stay on. No wonder she demanded I tie her to the hood of the SUV before we started. Don't worry, Your Mom is still a virgin. You were a backdoor baby. Your Mom knows the exact come-on line which lead to your conception. Your Mom is really a homeless man living in Iraq. The Government does not want you to know this, so they handed you over to some fat bitch Your Mom thought you were an exceptionally large crap. Your Mom is actually Richard Simmons in disguise. The term motherfucker refers, specifically, to Your Mom. In a year's time, another term, far worse than motherfucker, will gain currency. It will be so scatologically vile that most nations will establish crimes for its usage. It, too, will refer, specifically, to Your Mom. Your Mom is Chief Test Engineer for the Jack Rabbit Massager Corporation. Your Mom wears crotchless panties. And a Peep Hole bra. Your Mom uses duo-balls to relieve the tedium of shopping. Your Mom is so evil, she forced this person to continue putting in the words "your mom". Your mom also enjoys using ben-wa gerbils. Your mom bangs like a shit-house door in a Force 9 gale. Your mom is really Bill Gates. Your mom has a dick. And it's dick is bigger than your dick. Your mom is so fat that she has nine zip codes and none of them border on each other. Your mom is so ugly that the Devil slapped her for smiling and then gouged his eyes out with his pitchfork. Your mom is also Tubgirl. Your mom is in love with Mr. Goatse. Your mom is a cam whore! Your mom eats dead babies. Your mom is so goddamn fat that her NASA sent a space probe to orbit her ass. They never heard from it again. Your mom has a job, and is a respected part of the community. Your mom is so fat, she entered a fat contest and won first, second, and third. Your mom is so fat that Stevie Wonder sees her Your mom isn't really a man. Shes a hermaphrodite. your mom is so old and fat that when she stood up one day she caused the ice age. *your mom is so old she witnessed david killing goliath and she was a waitress at the last supper. your mom is so fat, that when she saw a yellow bus full of white kids go by, she said "stop that twinkie!" Your mom is Barry the Manny your mom is so poor that when i saw her kicking a can down the road, i asked what she was doing.She replied saying i'm moving! Your mom is so disgusting, she is Crystal Pepsi! Your mom was 35 when Jesus was born! Your mom is the age of God! Your mom is poop. Your mom is so fat, her ass has it’s own congressman. (And her congressman was bitch-slapped by Stephen Colbert for being a pussy liberal.) Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the zoo the elephants throw peanuts at her! Your mom is so fat when she walks down the street she walks down the street! Your mom is so emo she saw a run-over squirrel, brought it home, named it George and bragged about it to her whole friends list. Your mom is so fat and emo she cut herself and bled butter. Your mom is so emo she spends $20 on a worn out, vintage looking shirt that was fresh off the shelf at Hot Topic. Your mom is so emo the Grim Reaper had to put out a restraining order. Your mom is so fat, that her period is an exclamation mark! Your mom was, when he made you. your mom is so fat, she cleans her clothes on the driveway Your mom is Russian and stupid, therefore, she thinks you are her. Your mom is so fat, when she is done wiping her ass, the Charmin baby is in its late teens. Your mom has just read this. And she is not amused. Your moms so stupid she sold her car for gas money Also...
Your mom on a regular day.
Your mom on a Good Day.
Your mom on a Really Good Day.
Not your mom.
Allegations about your mom Dear Reader Kyle Rainforth Is A BITCH!!!!! So is Jonny Shoring You have two dads. And both of them are gay. With each other. Your two dads are George W Bush and Sadam Hussein Suzie has four dads. Five are in shallow graves. How many dads are you? Your mother has had sexual relations with all your base. Your mother tried to hang herself with a cordless phone. Your mom Is Darth Vader My other car is your mom. (OHHH! DISSED!) My other mom is your car. (!DESSID !HHHO) Your mom is a necrophiliac Your mom lost her viginity to a bucking bronco Your mom lost her virginity to you... So you are a bucking bronco and I lost my virginity to a bucking bronco. Fortunately, not all aligations are true. And these jokes suck balls. Your mum had sex with your dad, same with your neighbours mum. Your mother is from the plannet Endor and is a Wookie Your mom looks like a hoe In other countries Scotland 'Your maw' is a Scottish colloquialism that derives from the phrase 'Your Mother'. Originally a phrase in English used to indicated someone’s birth parent, this Scottish version is most commonly used as way to put down people who have wronged you (or fucked you off as the natives would put it).
Examples of the phrases use are the following:
"Shut up ya baw bag or i'll beat you so hard your maw will feel it!" "I'm ge'in so fat 'cause a'time i have your maw she geez me a sandwich." It can also be used in place of the common phrase 'Fuck Off' to end an argument:
Speaker 1: "You are a toetal dick by the whay!" Speaker 2: "You wheesht or i'll end you ya baw sack!!" Speaker 1: "Whituver ya wee fanny!" Speaker 2: *as dismissal* "Pshhh, your maw!" People should however be wary of using it in the latter sence as it will often lead to what is affectionately known as a Glasgow Kiss or if in certain parts of Govan, a Glessing.
Australia Your Mum
Nowhere (Also known as Norway)
Mora di er mann, og faren din er homo. Ha ha ha.
wait for your little yellow Babelfish to zdecode this gibberish* Your mom is a man and your dad is gay. Pancakes.
South Africa 'Jou ma' is a common phrase used to rebut an argument. It is often used in conjunction with 'se poes' or 'se gat' to form the often heard 'Jou ma se poes!' or 'Jou ma se gat!' which roughly translated means 'Your moms vagina' and 'Your moms asshole!' respectivly, although the former is the one more often used.
Other uses Your mom is also used in as a lazy phrase to indicate someone having had sexual intercourse with an adversary’s mother. This is used often in cajoling and in defensive/offensive verbal banter between neds (who's natural habitats include Glasgow, Edinburgh and All of England; though English neds are weaklings and hardly worth counting) that often results in a battling not too dissimilar to that portrayed in the cartoon Pokemon. The battling invariably ends in one neds humiliation at which point he will run home to aforementioned 'sexually abused mother' to grass up who has just clattered him and stained his Fila trackies with grass, pish and bucky. If people are feeling particularly intelligent that day then the phrase can be used as a way of turning the conversation around on the other person. e.g.
person 1: “Hey, you poked a hole in my balloon! I hate you!” person 2: “I poked a hole in your mom last night.” Dictionary Definition "wen ppl hav nothin better 2 offend ppl, they refer 2 'your mom' meaning your mam, they are trying to say they have shagged her basically" quoted from the Urban Dictionary. "Ay your mom:- I don't believe you." quoted from the BBC site. "AAAA AAA" - AAAAAAAAA! "Jou Ma" - Afrikaans "Dei Muada" - Austrian "J0|2 (V)0(V)" - Leet "Je Moeder" - Dutch "Yo Momma" - Ebonics "Ta Mère" - French "???? ????" - Russian "Tvoja mama" - Slovene "Deine Mutter" - German "??? ???" or "????'?" - Really Bad Hebrew "? ?????? ???" - Greek "La Vostra Madre" - Italian "Your Mother" - England - English "Dirka dirka' - Arabic "Anyád" - Hungarian "Do Mháthair" - Irish "Omm tieg?ek" - Maltese "Mora di" or "mor di" - Norwegian "Twoja Stara" - Polish "A Tua Mãe" - Portuguese; "Sua Mãe" (Brazillian) "???? ????" or "???? ????!" - Russian "Tu Madre" - Spanish; "Tu Vieja" (Spanish slang) "?? ???" - Arabic "??????" - Japanese "???" - Korean "???" - Chinese "InnaMOY" - Tagalog "Ya Mum - Australian "Sun Mutsis" - Finnish "Din Mamma!" - Swedish "Tavo motuže." - Lithuanian "Ma(-ta aia curva si cheala" - Româna( "Din mor" - Danish "?????? ?????" - Bulgarian "Senin annen" - Turkish "Tu Jefa" or "Tu Mama" - Modern Mexican "Mama kau" - Malaysian Malay "Tua mater" - Latin "Sinu ema!" - Estonian In popular culture Yo Momma Yo Momma is a television series created by George Dubya Bush himself to destroy any credibility our nation has left by lowering our already pathetically low standards of entertainment. Also it airs on MTV2 and maybe MTV Sometimes.
Overview - The show Itself is hosted by a perennial jackass named Wimer Valderama. This man from what experts have gathered is a bastard child. In the Show contestants compete by, "Slinging their Slander" at each other, these jokes don't have to be about the other contestants' mothers but you get extra points if you can tell a 'Yo Momma' joke without looking like an asshole. For Example:
Yo Momma so fat, she's... really fuckin' fat, dawg.
Round One - The show is divided into rounds, round one being the free for all round, where anyone, from hardcore blacksters to asians dudes with nerdy specs can compete, the winner gets to go on to a one-on-one match with the winner from the other side of town, as I'm sure you can imagine all rounds go like this.
"Your mother is, so black, I turned out the lights and couldn't see her." "Yo Momma so asian, she walks out side and peeps asked where she got a full body raincoat" One-on-One Rounds - Next the one-on-one matches begin, the winner getting some "Cash Moooney" and dying a little on the inside, because this was and is their greatest accopmlishment.
Sometime within the match
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This page is a piece of crap. The author acknowledges this.
Contents
1 What some famous people have to say about your mom
2 Fun facts about your mom
3 Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom
4 Also...
5 Allegations about your mom
6 In other countries
6.1 Scotland
6.2 Australia
6.3 Nowhere
6.4 South Africa
6.5 Other uses
6.6 Dictionary Definition
7 In popular culture
7.1 Yo Momma
What some famous people have to say about your mom
It's ya mum! Her thighs turn me on!“Your Mom goes to college!”
~ Kip Dynamite on Your Mom
“I weigh 47 pounds, and she does have an afro with a chin strap!!”
~ your mom's shadow on your mom
“I did have sexual relations with that man”
~ Bill Clinton on Your mom
“I wrote a couple of pieces about your mom”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“The worst sex partner I've ever had, hands down.”
~ Me on Your mom
“You would. Admit it.”
~ Sigmund Freud on Your mom
“*SQUAWK* You would. Admit it.”
~ Parrot on Sigmund Freud
“She's so fat, the escape velocity at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.”
~ Stephen Hawking on Your mom
“I am.”
~ Your mom on Your mom
“Better than a biscuit.”
~ Everyone on your mom
“Your mother is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“Your mom is a delightful woman with whom I enjoy spending time.”
~ The Olsen Twins on Your mom
“Back of the line.”
~ Oscar Wilde on your mom “In Soviet Russia, mom does YOU!!'”
~ Russian Reversal on your mom
“She wouldn't fetch much at my auction!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“All your mom are belong to us.”
~ CATS on your mom
“No no, brother. It's "all of your moms belong to us."”
~ CATS' brother DOGS on your mom
“I created her with a penis.”
~ God on your mom
“I´ll pitty jo' momma!!!.”
~ Mr. T on your mom
“Crikey! It's a monster.”
~ Steve Irwin on your mom
“I can't believe it's not female!”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“I DID YOUR MOM a favor, AND MADE YOU a lunch”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“You're mom is more fun than a Slinky on an Escalator!”
~ Some little girl on your mom
“Your mom is your dad's wife”
~ Captain Obvious on Your mom
“*squawk* Your mom is... *squawk* your dad's...”
~ Dying Random Parrot on Captain Obvious
“I gave that woman the clap”
~ Stewart McDonald on Your mom
Therefore
~ Isaac Newton on your mom
“oh yeah baby”
~ your dad on your mom
“YEAH BABY, YEAH!”
~ Austin Powers on your mom
“Cheap as chips!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“I don't want to work, I want to bang your mom all day.”
~ Todd Rundgren on your mom
"Your mom likes Bush!"
~ Stephen Colbert
“*silence*”
~ Dead Not-So-Random-Anymore Parrot
“What's that coming over the hill, is it your mother?, Is it your mother? ”
~ The Welsh on Your mom
“Your mom's the newest member of the nWo, brother. ”
~ Hulk Hogan on Your mom
“Your mom has been arrested for drug possession and anal rape. Bail is $500.”
~ Meg Griffin on Your mom
“Hey, Eliwood! I fucked your mom!”
~ Hector on Lord Eliwood's mom
“Meh”
~ Teh Cheat on Your mom
“She has a very small penis.”
~ Tiltyu on Eric Cartman's mom
Fun facts about your mom
Never forget to tell Your mom how much you love her.Your momma has eleven fingers and fifteen toes, and still can't count to twenty-six Your mums so fat thea Nasa octually orbits her. Yo momma is so fat, she started the Revolution revolution! Yo momma so fat, when she gets on the scales it says "to be continued..." Yo momma so ugly, she make blind muthafuckas cry Your mom is so stupid she thought that a parental control was an abortion yo momma so fat, she comes from both sides of the family Your mom has a peg leg with a kickstand Your mom has an afro with a chinstrap Your mom is a team killer acording to NYC_bLuNtRoLlEr_444 Your mom listens to Hard House / NRG. Your mom did the UN yesterday. Your mom is symbolized by the element Urmomium Your mom is still a virgin. She will probably remain a virgin unless you hire her a cabana boy. Your mom is somewhat like Helen of Troy, in that her face launched 1000 nuclear weapons, all of which were pointed at her. Interestingly enough, your mom survived the barrage. Your mom shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. Your mom sells her crack for crack. Your mom is the Uncyclopedia:Community Portal -- everyone gets a chance to enter. Your mom was exceedingly popular during a brief period in the 1980s, but then again, what wasn't?
Don't ever let Your Mom give you the evil eye!Using 'Your mom' as a comeback became popular again in the year 2000 thanks to bored Indiana residents who decided that the old 80s joke should be born again for this new "Generation Y.45-802.11bag version 5.1(2800)" Your mom got so high once at a Jimmy Buffett concert that she threw her panties at a stuffed parrot, but that doesn't mean it's okay for you and your friends to waste your lives on the devil weed. Your mom is so fat that people practice by climbing Mt. Everest before they climb her. Your mom is so fat, the astronaughts keep believing there is a dimple on the Earth Your mom is so fat that hundreds of horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly that hundreds of other horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face. Your mom is so stupid she took me to the movie theater to see "Closed For The Season". Your moms breath smells so bad she the reason people grow old and die Your mom can't get a record deal because she doesn't want it enough. Your mom is so stupid she thought that MySpace was a sexual position. Your mom is so stupid she drove on the driveway and parked on the parkway. Your mom is so ugly, yo daddy brings her to work so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. Your mom is so fat she swallowed my mom whole. Speaking of "your mom" and "come backs"... Your mom. Your mom would be horribly upset that you are wasting your life visiting this site. Your mom is so fat, she puts her tits in the overhead compartment on an airplane. Your mom's ass is so fat, that it has its own zip code. Your mom knows you spank the monkey, but loves you anyway. Your mom buys extra soft 3-ply Kleenex because she loves you anyway. Your mom was the 53rd leader of the free world. Your mom was subsequently made the 52nd through 78th states, because she was so fat. Your mom knows all about the monsters in your closet. Your mom owes me money, you douche! Your mom has apparently had sex with everyone you have ever argued with, including herself. Your mom is often confused with G.W.B and Abe Lincoln. I'm sorry, but all of them look like monkeys. Your mom is a creature from outer space. Your mom is outer space Your mom fought JFK in one of the greatest movie epics of all time. Your mom once tried Satanism, but didn't really like it. Your mom went to prom with Merv the Perv. Your mom is the mascot for the University of Arizona. Your mom had Rutgers University for lunch, Princeton University for dinner, and has the University of California as a teddy bear. Your mom is my mom. Am I confusing you? Your mom is like the Moon, big, round, and influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so stupid she failed her GED, while TAKING HER DRIVERS TEST! ZING! Your mom is so fat the city had to dig a hole through her for traffic to pass through. Your mom is so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin. Your mom is so fat, when Chris Farley tried to have sex with her he got lost for six days. When he came back out, he had a pet crab named Alfred. Your mom is so ugly, when she went to McDonalds, they couldn't serve happy meals. Neil Armstrong wasn't the first man on your mum. Your mom is so dumb that she put 20 cents in a parking meter and said "Where the fuck's my gumball?" Your mum - not mom - is so fat that she resides in the USA. Your mom is so fat and ugly and dumb that she would make a bad salesperson at GNC. Your mom is so fat, that when god created the earth and said let there be light he asked your mom to move! Your mom is so fat, that your dad rolled over three times and he was still on top of her. Your 'mom' sat next to everybody at school. Your mum is so fat that I decided to sleep with her, just to say I had. What country is so fat that is makes your mom look slim? None. Well, maybe the United States Of America, but that's beside the point. Your mom is so fat, she influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so old that she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. Your mom is so fat, that when she completes a revolution, time stops! Your mom is so old, her social security number is "I". Your mom is so ugly, she makes my mom look good. Your mom knows what you do right before going to sleep. Your mom is so ugly she doesn't look good at all when it really comes down to it. Your mom's name is actually Harriet. She's a 90 year old part Irish part Samoan woman who is currently leading an underground resitance against the future British Government. Your mom looks like Condoleeza Rice! Your mom is like a brick, flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans. The escape velocity at your mom's surface exceeds 3 * 10^8 m/s. Your mom did not understand the previous comment. It means her mass is roughly 500 times that of Sol, the sun. Your mom is like a vacumm, she sucks, she blows and she gets laid in the closet Wanna know what forever feels like? Try walking around your mom... Your mom is really a grue, who really eats her children, and when she was having you, she was still suffereing from a 9 year hangover, and wasn't able to realise that you were being born. Your lucky that your father wanted fun and to occupy his time, thats why you dont have a little brother. Your momma is so fat that she went to the beach and animal rights activists tried to push her back in the water Your mom is so fat that when she turns around, the half of her thats moving towards you turns blue, and the other half turns red. Your mom makes kitty sad... Your mom's moustache makes kitty scared... I once asked for Your mom's autograph - i thought it was the guy from Lordi Your mom is so stupid she tells YOU your mama jokes. Your mom is so stupid she calls you a son-of-a-bitch. Your mom is so slutty she is your mom and your sister-in-law. Yo momma so fat, she uses the freeway to iron her underwear. Your mum's so ugly she uses a line of make up called "Why Bother!" Your mums so ugly that when she stands on the beach the tide wont come in. Your mom's so stupid she thinks that Cross-Dressing is what you put on your salad. Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom Your Mom is so ugly, someone decided to stop pasting in the words "your mom". Your Mom was good last night and I left her money under the pillow. Your Mom is the Invisible man + Crack Your Mom is Phat.Also, penis. Your Mom gives great hummers! Your Mom has a really nice hat Your Mom has a huge crush on Barry Manilow, and has been mailing him her diary entries weekly for over two decades, doodle-hearts and all. Your Mom only lets your friends over for sleep-overs because she gets a little action with them while you sleep. Your Mom secretly likes the smell of her own flatus. Now you know where you get it from. Your Mom is like a Bowling Ball. She gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, yet she still comes back for more. Your Mom bucked like Bambi in a forest fire while I was riding her last night. I had to grab her love handles with both hands to stay on. No wonder she demanded I tie her to the hood of the SUV before we started. Don't worry, Your Mom is still a virgin. You were a backdoor baby. Your Mom knows the exact come-on line which lead to your conception. Your Mom is really a homeless man living in Iraq. The Government does not want you to know this, so they handed you over to some fat bitch Your Mom thought you were an exceptionally large crap. Your Mom is actually Richard Simmons in disguise. The term motherfucker refers, specifically, to Your Mom. In a year's time, another term, far worse than motherfucker, will gain currency. It will be so scatologically vile that most nations will establish crimes for its usage. It, too, will refer, specifically, to Your Mom. Your Mom is Chief Test Engineer for the Jack Rabbit Massager Corporation. Your Mom wears crotchless panties. And a Peep Hole bra. Your Mom uses duo-balls to relieve the tedium of shopping. Your Mom is so evil, she forced this person to continue putting in the words "your mom". Your mom also enjoys using ben-wa gerbils. Your mom bangs like a shit-house door in a Force 9 gale. Your mom is really Bill Gates. Your mom has a dick. And it's dick is bigger than your dick. Your mom is so fat that she has nine zip codes and none of them border on each other. Your mom is so ugly that the Devil slapped her for smiling and then gouged his eyes out with his pitchfork. Your mom is also Tubgirl. Your mom is in love with Mr. Goatse. Your mom is a cam whore! Your mom eats dead babies. Your mom is so goddamn fat that her NASA sent a space probe to orbit her ass. They never heard from it again. Your mom has a job, and is a respected part of the community. Your mom is so fat, she entered a fat contest and won first, second, and third. Your mom is so fat that Stevie Wonder sees her Your mom isn't really a man. Shes a hermaphrodite. your mom is so old and fat that when she stood up one day she caused the ice age. *your mom is so old she witnessed david killing goliath and she was a waitress at the last supper. your mom is so fat, that when she saw a yellow bus full of white kids go by, she said "stop that twinkie!" Your mom is Barry the Manny your mom is so poor that when i saw her kicking a can down the road, i asked what she was doing.She replied saying i'm moving! Your mom is so disgusting, she is Crystal Pepsi! Your mom was 35 when Jesus was born! Your mom is the age of God! Your mom is poop. Your mom is so fat, her ass has it’s own congressman. (And her congressman was bitch-slapped by Stephen Colbert for being a pussy liberal.) Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the zoo the elephants throw peanuts at her! Your mom is so fat when she walks down the street she walks down the street! Your mom is so emo she saw a run-over squirrel, brought it home, named it George and bragged about it to her whole friends list. Your mom is so fat and emo she cut herself and bled butter. Your mom is so emo she spends $20 on a worn out, vintage looking shirt that was fresh off the shelf at Hot Topic. Your mom is so emo the Grim Reaper had to put out a restraining order. Your mom is so fat, that her period is an exclamation mark! Your mom was, when he made you. your mom is so fat, she cleans her clothes on the driveway Your mom is Russian and stupid, therefore, she thinks you are her. Your mom is so fat, when she is done wiping her ass, the Charmin baby is in its late teens. Your mom has just read this. And she is not amused. Your moms so stupid she sold her car for gas money Also...
Your mom on a regular day.
Your mom on a Good Day.
Your mom on a Really Good Day.
Not your mom.
Allegations about your mom Dear Reader Kyle Rainforth Is A BITCH!!!!! So is Jonny Shoring You have two dads. And both of them are gay. With each other. Your two dads are George W Bush and Sadam Hussein Suzie has four dads. Five are in shallow graves. How many dads are you? Your mother has had sexual relations with all your base. Your mother tried to hang herself with a cordless phone. Your mom Is Darth Vader My other car is your mom. (OHHH! DISSED!) My other mom is your car. (!DESSID !HHHO) Your mom is a necrophiliac Your mom lost her viginity to a bucking bronco Your mom lost her virginity to you... So you are a bucking bronco and I lost my virginity to a bucking bronco. Fortunately, not all aligations are true. And these jokes suck balls. Your mum had sex with your dad, same with your neighbours mum. Your mother is from the plannet Endor and is a Wookie Your mom looks like a hoe In other countries Scotland 'Your maw' is a Scottish colloquialism that derives from the phrase 'Your Mother'. Originally a phrase in English used to indicated someone’s birth parent, this Scottish version is most commonly used as way to put down people who have wronged you (or fucked you off as the natives would put it).
Examples of the phrases use are the following:
"Shut up ya baw bag or i'll beat you so hard your maw will feel it!" "I'm ge'in so fat 'cause a'time i have your maw she geez me a sandwich." It can also be used in place of the common phrase 'Fuck Off' to end an argument:
Speaker 1: "You are a toetal dick by the whay!" Speaker 2: "You wheesht or i'll end you ya baw sack!!" Speaker 1: "Whituver ya wee fanny!" Speaker 2: *as dismissal* "Pshhh, your maw!" People should however be wary of using it in the latter sence as it will often lead to what is affectionately known as a Glasgow Kiss or if in certain parts of Govan, a Glessing.
Australia Your Mum
Nowhere (Also known as Norway)
Mora di er mann, og faren din er homo. Ha ha ha.
wait for your little yellow Babelfish to zdecode this gibberish* Your mom is a man and your dad is gay. Pancakes.
South Africa 'Jou ma' is a common phrase used to rebut an argument. It is often used in conjunction with 'se poes' or 'se gat' to form the often heard 'Jou ma se poes!' or 'Jou ma se gat!' which roughly translated means 'Your moms vagina' and 'Your moms asshole!' respectivly, although the former is the one more often used.
Other uses Your mom is also used in as a lazy phrase to indicate someone having had sexual intercourse with an adversary’s mother. This is used often in cajoling and in defensive/offensive verbal banter between neds (who's natural habitats include Glasgow, Edinburgh and All of England; though English neds are weaklings and hardly worth counting) that often results in a battling not too dissimilar to that portrayed in the cartoon Pokemon. The battling invariably ends in one neds humiliation at which point he will run home to aforementioned 'sexually abused mother' to grass up who has just clattered him and stained his Fila trackies with grass, pish and bucky. If people are feeling particularly intelligent that day then the phrase can be used as a way of turning the conversation around on the other person. e.g.
person 1: “Hey, you poked a hole in my balloon! I hate you!” person 2: “I poked a hole in your mom last night.” Dictionary Definition "wen ppl hav nothin better 2 offend ppl, they refer 2 'your mom' meaning your mam, they are trying to say they have shagged her basically" quoted from the Urban Dictionary. "Ay your mom:- I don't believe you." quoted from the BBC site. "AAAA AAA" - AAAAAAAAA! "Jou Ma" - Afrikaans "Dei Muada" - Austrian "J0|2 (V)0(V)" - Leet "Je Moeder" - Dutch "Yo Momma" - Ebonics "Ta Mère" - French "???? ????" - Russian "Tvoja mama" - Slovene "Deine Mutter" - German "??? ???" or "????'?" - Really Bad Hebrew "? ?????? ???" - Greek "La Vostra Madre" - Italian "Your Mother" - England - English "Dirka dirka' - Arabic "Anyád" - Hungarian "Do Mháthair" - Irish "Omm tieg?ek" - Maltese "Mora di" or "mor di" - Norwegian "Twoja Stara" - Polish "A Tua Mãe" - Portuguese; "Sua Mãe" (Brazillian) "???? ????" or "???? ????!" - Russian "Tu Madre" - Spanish; "Tu Vieja" (Spanish slang) "?? ???" - Arabic "??????" - Japanese "???" - Korean "???" - Chinese "InnaMOY" - Tagalog "Ya Mum - Australian "Sun Mutsis" - Finnish "Din Mamma!" - Swedish "Tavo motuže." - Lithuanian "Ma(-ta aia curva si cheala" - Româna( "Din mor" - Danish "?????? ?????" - Bulgarian "Senin annen" - Turkish "Tu Jefa" or "Tu Mama" - Modern Mexican "Mama kau" - Malaysian Malay "Tua mater" - Latin "Sinu ema!" - Estonian In popular culture Yo Momma Yo Momma is a television series created by George Dubya Bush himself to destroy any credibility our nation has left by lowering our already pathetically low standards of entertainment. Also it airs on MTV2 and maybe MTV Sometimes.
Overview - The show Itself is hosted by a perennial jackass named Wimer Valderama. This man from what experts have gathered is a bastard child. In the Show contestants compete by, "Slinging their Slander" at each other, these jokes don't have to be about the other contestants' mothers but you get extra points if you can tell a 'Yo Momma' joke without looking like an asshole. For Example:
Yo Momma so fat, she's... really fuckin' fat, dawg.
Round One - The show is divided into rounds, round one being the free for all round, where anyone, from hardcore blacksters to asians dudes with nerdy specs can compete, the winner gets to go on to a one-on-one match with the winner from the other side of town, as I'm sure you can imagine all rounds go like this.
"Your mother is, so black, I turned out the lights and couldn't see her." "Yo Momma so asian, she walks out side and peeps asked where she got a full body raincoat" One-on-One Rounds - Next the one-on-one matches begin, the winner getting some "Cash Moooney" and dying a little on the inside, because this was and is their greatest accopmlishment.
Sometime within the match
Quasi-Featured Article
This article was nominated to become a featured article; however, due to a voting discrepancy in Florida involving Oprah and half a shaved monkey's buttcheek, it didn't make the cut. It's the thought that counts, right? You can prevent Oprah's nefarious plans from working by voting for other articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/Your_mom" Categories: Not safe for work | Oscar Wildeizms | Quasi-Featured | Inside jokes | Stuff that lonely men masturbate over
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This page was last modified 20:15, 5 December 2006. Content is available under a Creative Commons License. About Uncyclopedia Disclaimers Digg this page Del.icio.us Your mom From Uncyclopedia, the content-💕.
NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!
The article you are looking at may not be work safe! If a boss or coworker saw this article, claim that it was spam and blame the IT guys. Otherwise, continue to read it until your lewd urges are sated. For those without comedic tastes, the so-called-experts at Misplaced Pages have an article about Your mom. PIECE OF CRAP WARNING!
This page is a piece of crap. The author acknowledges this.
Contents
1 What some famous people have to say about your mom
2 Fun facts about your mom
3 Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom
4 Also...
5 Allegations about your mom
6 In other countries
6.1 Scotland
6.2 Australia
6.3 Nowhere
6.4 South Africa
6.5 Other uses
6.6 Dictionary Definition
7 In popular culture
7.1 Yo Momma
What some famous people have to say about your mom
It's ya mum! Her thighs turn me on!“Your Mom goes to college!”
~ Kip Dynamite on Your Mom
“I weigh 47 pounds, and she does have an afro with a chin strap!!”
~ your mom's shadow on your mom
“I did have sexual relations with that man”
~ Bill Clinton on Your mom
“I wrote a couple of pieces about your mom”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“The worst sex partner I've ever had, hands down.”
~ Me on Your mom
“You would. Admit it.”
~ Sigmund Freud on Your mom
“*SQUAWK* You would. Admit it.”
~ Parrot on Sigmund Freud
“She's so fat, the escape velocity at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.”
~ Stephen Hawking on Your mom
“I am.”
~ Your mom on Your mom
“Better than a biscuit.”
~ Everyone on your mom
“Your mother is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“Your mom is a delightful woman with whom I enjoy spending time.”
~ The Olsen Twins on Your mom
“Back of the line.”
~ Oscar Wilde on your mom “In Soviet Russia, mom does YOU!!'”
~ Russian Reversal on your mom
“She wouldn't fetch much at my auction!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“All your mom are belong to us.”
~ CATS on your mom
“No no, brother. It's "all of your moms belong to us."”
~ CATS' brother DOGS on your mom
“I created her with a penis.”
~ God on your mom
“I´ll pitty jo' momma!!!.”
~ Mr. T on your mom
“Crikey! It's a monster.”
~ Steve Irwin on your mom
“I can't believe it's not female!”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“I DID YOUR MOM a favor, AND MADE YOU a lunch”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“You're mom is more fun than a Slinky on an Escalator!”
~ Some little girl on your mom
“Your mom is your dad's wife”
~ Captain Obvious on Your mom
“*squawk* Your mom is... *squawk* your dad's...”
~ Dying Random Parrot on Captain Obvious
“I gave that woman the clap”
~ Stewart McDonald on Your mom
Therefore
~ Isaac Newton on your mom
“oh yeah baby”
~ your dad on your mom
“YEAH BABY, YEAH!”
~ Austin Powers on your mom
“Cheap as chips!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“I don't want to work, I want to bang your mom all day.”
~ Todd Rundgren on your mom
"Your mom likes Bush!"
~ Stephen Colbert
“*silence*”
~ Dead Not-So-Random-Anymore Parrot
“What's that coming over the hill, is it your mother?, Is it your mother? ”
~ The Welsh on Your mom
“Your mom's the newest member of the nWo, brother. ”
~ Hulk Hogan on Your mom
“Your mom has been arrested for drug possession and anal rape. Bail is $500.”
~ Meg Griffin on Your mom
“Hey, Eliwood! I fucked your mom!”
~ Hector on Lord Eliwood's mom
“Meh”
~ Teh Cheat on Your mom
“She has a very small penis.”
~ Tiltyu on Eric Cartman's mom
Fun facts about your mom
Never forget to tell Your mom how much you love her.Your momma has eleven fingers and fifteen toes, and still can't count to twenty-six Your mums so fat thea Nasa octually orbits her. Yo momma is so fat, she started the Revolution revolution! Yo momma so fat, when she gets on the scales it says "to be continued..." Yo momma so ugly, she make blind muthafuckas cry Your mom is so stupid she thought that a parental control was an abortion yo momma so fat, she comes from both sides of the family Your mom has a peg leg with a kickstand Your mom has an afro with a chinstrap Your mom is a team killer acording to NYC_bLuNtRoLlEr_444 Your mom listens to Hard House / NRG. Your mom did the UN yesterday. Your mom is symbolized by the element Urmomium Your mom is still a virgin. She will probably remain a virgin unless you hire her a cabana boy. Your mom is somewhat like Helen of Troy, in that her face launched 1000 nuclear weapons, all of which were pointed at her. Interestingly enough, your mom survived the barrage. Your mom shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. Your mom sells her crack for crack. Your mom is the Uncyclopedia:Community Portal -- everyone gets a chance to enter. Your mom was exceedingly popular during a brief period in the 1980s, but then again, what wasn't?
Don't ever let Your Mom give you the evil eye!Using 'Your mom' as a comeback became popular again in the year 2000 thanks to bored Indiana residents who decided that the old 80s joke should be born again for this new "Generation Y.45-802.11bag version 5.1(2800)" Your mom got so high once at a Jimmy Buffett concert that she threw her panties at a stuffed parrot, but that doesn't mean it's okay for you and your friends to waste your lives on the devil weed. Your mom is so fat that people practice by climbing Mt. Everest before they climb her. Your mom is so fat, the astronaughts keep believing there is a dimple on the Earth Your mom is so fat that hundreds of horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly that hundreds of other horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face. Your mom is so stupid she took me to the movie theater to see "Closed For The Season". Your moms breath smells so bad she the reason people grow old and die Your mom can't get a record deal because she doesn't want it enough. Your mom is so stupid she thought that MySpace was a sexual position. Your mom is so stupid she drove on the driveway and parked on the parkway. Your mom is so ugly, yo daddy brings her to work so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. Your mom is so fat she swallowed my mom whole. Speaking of "your mom" and "come backs"... Your mom. Your mom would be horribly upset that you are wasting your life visiting this site. Your mom is so fat, she puts her tits in the overhead compartment on an airplane. Your mom's ass is so fat, that it has its own zip code. Your mom knows you spank the monkey, but loves you anyway. Your mom buys extra soft 3-ply Kleenex because she loves you anyway. Your mom was the 53rd leader of the free world. Your mom was subsequently made the 52nd through 78th states, because she was so fat. Your mom knows all about the monsters in your closet. Your mom owes me money, you douche! Your mom has apparently had sex with everyone you have ever argued with, including herself. Your mom is often confused with G.W.B and Abe Lincoln. I'm sorry, but all of them look like monkeys. Your mom is a creature from outer space. Your mom is outer space Your mom fought JFK in one of the greatest movie epics of all time. Your mom once tried Satanism, but didn't really like it. Your mom went to prom with Merv the Perv. Your mom is the mascot for the University of Arizona. Your mom had Rutgers University for lunch, Princeton University for dinner, and has the University of California as a teddy bear. Your mom is my mom. Am I confusing you? Your mom is like the Moon, big, round, and influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so stupid she failed her GED, while TAKING HER DRIVERS TEST! ZING! Your mom is so fat the city had to dig a hole through her for traffic to pass through. Your mom is so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin. Your mom is so fat, when Chris Farley tried to have sex with her he got lost for six days. When he came back out, he had a pet crab named Alfred. Your mom is so ugly, when she went to McDonalds, they couldn't serve happy meals. Neil Armstrong wasn't the first man on your mum. Your mom is so dumb that she put 20 cents in a parking meter and said "Where the fuck's my gumball?" Your mum - not mom - is so fat that she resides in the USA. Your mom is so fat and ugly and dumb that she would make a bad salesperson at GNC. Your mom is so fat, that when god created the earth and said let there be light he asked your mom to move! Your mom is so fat, that your dad rolled over three times and he was still on top of her. Your 'mom' sat next to everybody at school. Your mum is so fat that I decided to sleep with her, just to say I had. What country is so fat that is makes your mom look slim? None. Well, maybe the United States Of America, but that's beside the point. Your mom is so fat, she influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so old that she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. Your mom is so fat, that when she completes a revolution, time stops! Your mom is so old, her social security number is "I". Your mom is so ugly, she makes my mom look good. Your mom knows what you do right before going to sleep. Your mom is so ugly she doesn't look good at all when it really comes down to it. Your mom's name is actually Harriet. She's a 90 year old part Irish part Samoan woman who is currently leading an underground resitance against the future British Government. Your mom looks like Condoleeza Rice! Your mom is like a brick, flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans. The escape velocity at your mom's surface exceeds 3 * 10^8 m/s. Your mom did not understand the previous comment. It means her mass is roughly 500 times that of Sol, the sun. Your mom is like a vacumm, she sucks, she blows and she gets laid in the closet Wanna know what forever feels like? Try walking around your mom... Your mom is really a grue, who really eats her children, and when she was having you, she was still suffereing from a 9 year hangover, and wasn't able to realise that you were being born. Your lucky that your father wanted fun and to occupy his time, thats why you dont have a little brother. Your momma is so fat that she went to the beach and animal rights activists tried to push her back in the water Your mom is so fat that when she turns around, the half of her thats moving towards you turns blue, and the other half turns red. Your mom makes kitty sad... Your mom's moustache makes kitty scared... I once asked for Your mom's autograph - i thought it was the guy from Lordi Your mom is so stupid she tells YOU your mama jokes. Your mom is so stupid she calls you a son-of-a-bitch. Your mom is so slutty she is your mom and your sister-in-law. Yo momma so fat, she uses the freeway to iron her underwear. Your mum's so ugly she uses a line of make up called "Why Bother!" Your mums so ugly that when she stands on the beach the tide wont come in. Your mom's so stupid she thinks that Cross-Dressing is what you put on your salad. Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom Your Mom is so ugly, someone decided to stop pasting in the words "your mom". Your Mom was good last night and I left her money under the pillow. Your Mom is the Invisible man + Crack Your Mom is Phat.Also, penis. Your Mom gives great hummers! Your Mom has a really nice hat Your Mom has a huge crush on Barry Manilow, and has been mailing him her diary entries weekly for over two decades, doodle-hearts and all. Your Mom only lets your friends over for sleep-overs because she gets a little action with them while you sleep. Your Mom secretly likes the smell of her own flatus. Now you know where you get it from. Your Mom is like a Bowling Ball. She gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, yet she still comes back for more. Your Mom bucked like Bambi in a forest fire while I was riding her last night. I had to grab her love handles with both hands to stay on. No wonder she demanded I tie her to the hood of the SUV before we started. Don't worry, Your Mom is still a virgin. You were a backdoor baby. Your Mom knows the exact come-on line which lead to your conception. Your Mom is really a homeless man living in Iraq. The Government does not want you to know this, so they handed you over to some fat bitch Your Mom thought you were an exceptionally large crap. Your Mom is actually Richard Simmons in disguise. The term motherfucker refers, specifically, to Your Mom. In a year's time, another term, far worse than motherfucker, will gain currency. It will be so scatologically vile that most nations will establish crimes for its usage. It, too, will refer, specifically, to Your Mom. Your Mom is Chief Test Engineer for the Jack Rabbit Massager Corporation. Your Mom wears crotchless panties. And a Peep Hole bra. Your Mom uses duo-balls to relieve the tedium of shopping. Your Mom is so evil, she forced this person to continue putting in the words "your mom". Your mom also enjoys using ben-wa gerbils. Your mom bangs like a shit-house door in a Force 9 gale. Your mom is really Bill Gates. Your mom has a dick. And it's dick is bigger than your dick. Your mom is so fat that she has nine zip codes and none of them border on each other. Your mom is so ugly that the Devil slapped her for smiling and then gouged his eyes out with his pitchfork. Your mom is also Tubgirl. Your mom is in love with Mr. Goatse. Your mom is a cam whore! Your mom eats dead babies. Your mom is so goddamn fat that her NASA sent a space probe to orbit her ass. They never heard from it again. Your mom has a job, and is a respected part of the community. Your mom is so fat, she entered a fat contest and won first, second, and third. Your mom is so fat that Stevie Wonder sees her Your mom isn't really a man. Shes a hermaphrodite. your mom is so old and fat that when she stood up one day she caused the ice age. *your mom is so old she witnessed david killing goliath and she was a waitress at the last supper. your mom is so fat, that when she saw a yellow bus full of white kids go by, she said "stop that twinkie!" Your mom is Barry the Manny your mom is so poor that when i saw her kicking a can down the road, i asked what she was doing.She replied saying i'm moving! Your mom is so disgusting, she is Crystal Pepsi! Your mom was 35 when Jesus was born! Your mom is the age of God! Your mom is poop. Your mom is so fat, her ass has it’s own congressman. (And her congressman was bitch-slapped by Stephen Colbert for being a pussy liberal.) Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the zoo the elephants throw peanuts at her! Your mom is so fat when she walks down the street she walks down the street! Your mom is so emo she saw a run-over squirrel, brought it home, named it George and bragged about it to her whole friends list. Your mom is so fat and emo she cut herself and bled butter. Your mom is so emo she spends $20 on a worn out, vintage looking shirt that was fresh off the shelf at Hot Topic. Your mom is so emo the Grim Reaper had to put out a restraining order. Your mom is so fat, that her period is an exclamation mark! Your mom was, when he made you. your mom is so fat, she cleans her clothes on the driveway Your mom is Russian and stupid, therefore, she thinks you are her. Your mom is so fat, when she is done wiping her ass, the Charmin baby is in its late teens. Your mom has just read this. And she is not amused. Your moms so stupid she sold her car for gas money Also...
Your mom on a regular day.
Your mom on a Good Day.
Your mom on a Really Good Day.
Not your mom.
Allegations about your mom Dear Reader Kyle Rainforth Is A BITCH!!!!! So is Jonny Shoring You have two dads. And both of them are gay. With each other. Your two dads are George W Bush and Sadam Hussein Suzie has four dads. Five are in shallow graves. How many dads are you? Your mother has had sexual relations with all your base. Your mother tried to hang herself with a cordless phone. Your mom Is Darth Vader My other car is your mom. (OHHH! DISSED!) My other mom is your car. (!DESSID !HHHO) Your mom is a necrophiliac Your mom lost her viginity to a bucking bronco Your mom lost her virginity to you... So you are a bucking bronco and I lost my virginity to a bucking bronco. Fortunately, not all aligations are true. And these jokes suck balls. Your mum had sex with your dad, same with your neighbours mum. Your mother is from the plannet Endor and is a Wookie Your mom looks like a hoe In other countries Scotland 'Your maw' is a Scottish colloquialism that derives from the phrase 'Your Mother'. Originally a phrase in English used to indicated someone’s birth parent, this Scottish version is most commonly used as way to put down people who have wronged you (or fucked you off as the natives would put it).
Examples of the phrases use are the following:
"Shut up ya baw bag or i'll beat you so hard your maw will feel it!" "I'm ge'in so fat 'cause a'time i have your maw she geez me a sandwich." It can also be used in place of the common phrase 'Fuck Off' to end an argument:
Speaker 1: "You are a toetal dick by the whay!" Speaker 2: "You wheesht or i'll end you ya baw sack!!" Speaker 1: "Whituver ya wee fanny!" Speaker 2: *as dismissal* "Pshhh, your maw!" People should however be wary of using it in the latter sence as it will often lead to what is affectionately known as a Glasgow Kiss or if in certain parts of Govan, a Glessing.
Australia Your Mum
Nowhere (Also known as Norway)
Mora di er mann, og faren din er homo. Ha ha ha.
wait for your little yellow Babelfish to zdecode this gibberish* Your mom is a man and your dad is gay. Pancakes.
South Africa 'Jou ma' is a common phrase used to rebut an argument. It is often used in conjunction with 'se poes' or 'se gat' to form the often heard 'Jou ma se poes!' or 'Jou ma se gat!' which roughly translated means 'Your moms vagina' and 'Your moms asshole!' respectivly, although the former is the one more often used.
Other uses Your mom is also used in as a lazy phrase to indicate someone having had sexual intercourse with an adversary’s mother. This is used often in cajoling and in defensive/offensive verbal banter between neds (who's natural habitats include Glasgow, Edinburgh and All of England; though English neds are weaklings and hardly worth counting) that often results in a battling not too dissimilar to that portrayed in the cartoon Pokemon. The battling invariably ends in one neds humiliation at which point he will run home to aforementioned 'sexually abused mother' to grass up who has just clattered him and stained his Fila trackies with grass, pish and bucky. If people are feeling particularly intelligent that day then the phrase can be used as a way of turning the conversation around on the other person. e.g.
person 1: “Hey, you poked a hole in my balloon! I hate you!” person 2: “I poked a hole in your mom last night.” Dictionary Definition "wen ppl hav nothin better 2 offend ppl, they refer 2 'your mom' meaning your mam, they are trying to say they have shagged her basically" quoted from the Urban Dictionary. "Ay your mom:- I don't believe you." quoted from the BBC site. "AAAA AAA" - AAAAAAAAA! "Jou Ma" - Afrikaans "Dei Muada" - Austrian "J0|2 (V)0(V)" - Leet "Je Moeder" - Dutch "Yo Momma" - Ebonics "Ta Mère" - French "???? ????" - Russian "Tvoja mama" - Slovene "Deine Mutter" - German "??? ???" or "????'?" - Really Bad Hebrew "? ?????? ???" - Greek "La Vostra Madre" - Italian "Your Mother" - England - English "Dirka dirka' - Arabic "Anyád" - Hungarian "Do Mháthair" - Irish "Omm tieg?ek" - Maltese "Mora di" or "mor di" - Norwegian "Twoja Stara" - Polish "A Tua Mãe" - Portuguese; "Sua Mãe" (Brazillian) "???? ????" or "???? ????!" - Russian "Tu Madre" - Spanish; "Tu Vieja" (Spanish slang) "?? ???" - Arabic "??????" - Japanese "???" - Korean "???" - Chinese "InnaMOY" - Tagalog "Ya Mum - Australian "Sun Mutsis" - Finnish "Din Mamma!" - Swedish "Tavo motuže." - Lithuanian "Ma(-ta aia curva si cheala" - Româna( "Din mor" - Danish "?????? ?????" - Bulgarian "Senin annen" - Turkish "Tu Jefa" or "Tu Mama" - Modern Mexican "Mama kau" - Malaysian Malay "Tua mater" - Latin "Sinu ema!" - Estonian In popular culture Yo Momma Yo Momma is a television series created by George Dubya Bush himself to destroy any credibility our nation has left by lowering our already pathetically low standards of entertainment. Also it airs on MTV2 and maybe MTV Sometimes.
Overview - The show Itself is hosted by a perennial jackass named Wimer Valderama. This man from what experts have gathered is a bastard child. In the Show contestants compete by, "Slinging their Slander" at each other, these jokes don't have to be about the other contestants' mothers but you get extra points if you can tell a 'Yo Momma' joke without looking like an asshole. For Example:
Yo Momma so fat, she's... really fuckin' fat, dawg.
Round One - The show is divided into rounds, round one being the free for all round, where anyone, from hardcore blacksters to asians dudes with nerdy specs can compete, the winner gets to go on to a one-on-one match with the winner from the other side of town, as I'm sure you can imagine all rounds go like this.
"Your mother is, so black, I turned out the lights and couldn't see her." "Yo Momma so asian, she walks out side and peeps asked where she got a full body raincoat" One-on-One Rounds - Next the one-on-one matches begin, the winner getting some "Cash Moooney" and dying a little on the inside, because this was and is their greatest accopmlishment.
Sometime within the match
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Contents
1 What some famous people have to say about your mom
2 Fun facts about your mom
3 Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom
4 Also...
5 Allegations about your mom
6 In other countries
6.1 Scotland
6.2 Australia
6.3 Nowhere
6.4 South Africa
6.5 Other uses
6.6 Dictionary Definition
7 In popular culture
7.1 Yo Momma
What some famous people have to say about your mom
It's ya mum! Her thighs turn me on!“Your Mom goes to college!”
~ Kip Dynamite on Your Mom
“I weigh 47 pounds, and she does have an afro with a chin strap!!”
~ your mom's shadow on your mom
“I did have sexual relations with that man”
~ Bill Clinton on Your mom
“I wrote a couple of pieces about your mom”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“The worst sex partner I've ever had, hands down.”
~ Me on Your mom
“You would. Admit it.”
~ Sigmund Freud on Your mom
“*SQUAWK* You would. Admit it.”
~ Parrot on Sigmund Freud
“She's so fat, the escape velocity at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.”
~ Stephen Hawking on Your mom
“I am.”
~ Your mom on Your mom
“Better than a biscuit.”
~ Everyone on your mom
“Your mother is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face”
~ Oscar Wilde on Your mom
“Your mom is a delightful woman with whom I enjoy spending time.”
~ The Olsen Twins on Your mom
“Back of the line.”
~ Oscar Wilde on your mom “In Soviet Russia, mom does YOU!!'”
~ Russian Reversal on your mom
“She wouldn't fetch much at my auction!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“All your mom are belong to us.”
~ CATS on your mom
“No no, brother. It's "all of your moms belong to us."”
~ CATS' brother DOGS on your mom
“I created her with a penis.”
~ God on your mom
“I´ll pitty jo' momma!!!.”
~ Mr. T on your mom
“Crikey! It's a monster.”
~ Steve Irwin on your mom
“I can't believe it's not female!”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“I DID YOUR MOM a favor, AND MADE YOU a lunch”
~ Your Dad on your mom
“You're mom is more fun than a Slinky on an Escalator!”
~ Some little girl on your mom
“Your mom is your dad's wife”
~ Captain Obvious on Your mom
“*squawk* Your mom is... *squawk* your dad's...”
~ Dying Random Parrot on Captain Obvious
“I gave that woman the clap”
~ Stewart McDonald on Your mom
Therefore
~ Isaac Newton on your mom
“oh yeah baby”
~ your dad on your mom
“YEAH BABY, YEAH!”
~ Austin Powers on your mom
“Cheap as chips!”
~ David Dickinson on your mom
“I don't want to work, I want to bang your mom all day.”
~ Todd Rundgren on your mom
"Your mom likes Bush!"
~ Stephen Colbert
“*silence*”
~ Dead Not-So-Random-Anymore Parrot
“What's that coming over the hill, is it your mother?, Is it your mother? ”
~ The Welsh on Your mom
“Your mom's the newest member of the nWo, brother. ”
~ Hulk Hogan on Your mom
“Your mom has been arrested for drug possession and anal rape. Bail is $500.”
~ Meg Griffin on Your mom
“Hey, Eliwood! I fucked your mom!”
~ Hector on Lord Eliwood's mom
“Meh”
~ Teh Cheat on Your mom
“She has a very small penis.”
~ Tiltyu on Eric Cartman's mom
Fun facts about your mom
Never forget to tell Your mom how much you love her.Your momma has eleven fingers and fifteen toes, and still can't count to twenty-six Your mums so fat thea Nasa octually orbits her. Yo momma is so fat, she started the Revolution revolution! Yo momma so fat, when she gets on the scales it says "to be continued..." Yo momma so ugly, she make blind muthafuckas cry Your mom is so stupid she thought that a parental control was an abortion yo momma so fat, she comes from both sides of the family Your mom has a peg leg with a kickstand Your mom has an afro with a chinstrap Your mom is a team killer acording to NYC_bLuNtRoLlEr_444 Your mom listens to Hard House / NRG. Your mom did the UN yesterday. Your mom is symbolized by the element Urmomium Your mom is still a virgin. She will probably remain a virgin unless you hire her a cabana boy. Your mom is somewhat like Helen of Troy, in that her face launched 1000 nuclear weapons, all of which were pointed at her. Interestingly enough, your mom survived the barrage. Your mom shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. Your mom sells her crack for crack. Your mom is the Uncyclopedia:Community Portal -- everyone gets a chance to enter. Your mom was exceedingly popular during a brief period in the 1980s, but then again, what wasn't?
Don't ever let Your Mom give you the evil eye!Using 'Your mom' as a comeback became popular again in the year 2000 thanks to bored Indiana residents who decided that the old 80s joke should be born again for this new "Generation Y.45-802.11bag version 5.1(2800)" Your mom got so high once at a Jimmy Buffett concert that she threw her panties at a stuffed parrot, but that doesn't mean it's okay for you and your friends to waste your lives on the devil weed. Your mom is so fat that people practice by climbing Mt. Everest before they climb her. Your mom is so fat, the astronaughts keep believing there is a dimple on the Earth Your mom is so fat that hundreds of horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly that hundreds of other horrible jokes have been made at her expense. Your mom is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face. Your mom is so stupid she took me to the movie theater to see "Closed For The Season". Your moms breath smells so bad she the reason people grow old and die Your mom can't get a record deal because she doesn't want it enough. Your mom is so stupid she thought that MySpace was a sexual position. Your mom is so stupid she drove on the driveway and parked on the parkway. Your mom is so ugly, yo daddy brings her to work so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. Your mom is so fat she swallowed my mom whole. Speaking of "your mom" and "come backs"... Your mom. Your mom would be horribly upset that you are wasting your life visiting this site. Your mom is so fat, she puts her tits in the overhead compartment on an airplane. Your mom's ass is so fat, that it has its own zip code. Your mom knows you spank the monkey, but loves you anyway. Your mom buys extra soft 3-ply Kleenex because she loves you anyway. Your mom was the 53rd leader of the free world. Your mom was subsequently made the 52nd through 78th states, because she was so fat. Your mom knows all about the monsters in your closet. Your mom owes me money, you douche! Your mom has apparently had sex with everyone you have ever argued with, including herself. Your mom is often confused with G.W.B and Abe Lincoln. I'm sorry, but all of them look like monkeys. Your mom is a creature from outer space. Your mom is outer space Your mom fought JFK in one of the greatest movie epics of all time. Your mom once tried Satanism, but didn't really like it. Your mom went to prom with Merv the Perv. Your mom is the mascot for the University of Arizona. Your mom had Rutgers University for lunch, Princeton University for dinner, and has the University of California as a teddy bear. Your mom is my mom. Am I confusing you? Your mom is like the Moon, big, round, and influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so stupid she failed her GED, while TAKING HER DRIVERS TEST! ZING! Your mom is so fat the city had to dig a hole through her for traffic to pass through. Your mom is so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin. Your mom is so fat, when Chris Farley tried to have sex with her he got lost for six days. When he came back out, he had a pet crab named Alfred. Your mom is so ugly, when she went to McDonalds, they couldn't serve happy meals. Neil Armstrong wasn't the first man on your mum. Your mom is so dumb that she put 20 cents in a parking meter and said "Where the fuck's my gumball?" Your mum - not mom - is so fat that she resides in the USA. Your mom is so fat and ugly and dumb that she would make a bad salesperson at GNC. Your mom is so fat, that when god created the earth and said let there be light he asked your mom to move! Your mom is so fat, that your dad rolled over three times and he was still on top of her. Your 'mom' sat next to everybody at school. Your mum is so fat that I decided to sleep with her, just to say I had. What country is so fat that is makes your mom look slim? None. Well, maybe the United States Of America, but that's beside the point. Your mom is so fat, she influences global weather patterns. Your mom is so old that she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. Your mom is so fat, that when she completes a revolution, time stops! Your mom is so old, her social security number is "I". Your mom is so ugly, she makes my mom look good. Your mom knows what you do right before going to sleep. Your mom is so ugly she doesn't look good at all when it really comes down to it. Your mom's name is actually Harriet. She's a 90 year old part Irish part Samoan woman who is currently leading an underground resitance against the future British Government. Your mom looks like Condoleeza Rice! Your mom is like a brick, flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans. The escape velocity at your mom's surface exceeds 3 * 10^8 m/s. Your mom did not understand the previous comment. It means her mass is roughly 500 times that of Sol, the sun. Your mom is like a vacumm, she sucks, she blows and she gets laid in the closet Wanna know what forever feels like? Try walking around your mom... Your mom is really a grue, who really eats her children, and when she was having you, she was still suffereing from a 9 year hangover, and wasn't able to realise that you were being born. Your lucky that your father wanted fun and to occupy his time, thats why you dont have a little brother. Your momma is so fat that she went to the beach and animal rights activists tried to push her back in the water Your mom is so fat that when she turns around, the half of her thats moving towards you turns blue, and the other half turns red. Your mom makes kitty sad... Your mom's moustache makes kitty scared... I once asked for Your mom's autograph - i thought it was the guy from Lordi Your mom is so stupid she tells YOU your mama jokes. Your mom is so stupid she calls you a son-of-a-bitch. Your mom is so slutty she is your mom and your sister-in-law. Yo momma so fat, she uses the freeway to iron her underwear. Your mum's so ugly she uses a line of make up called "Why Bother!" Your mums so ugly that when she stands on the beach the tide wont come in. Your mom's so stupid she thinks that Cross-Dressing is what you put on your salad. Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom Your Mom is so ugly, someone decided to stop pasting in the words "your mom". Your Mom was good last night and I left her money under the pillow. Your Mom is the Invisible man + Crack Your Mom is Phat.Also, penis. Your Mom gives great hummers! Your Mom has a really nice hat Your Mom has a huge crush on Barry Manilow, and has been mailing him her diary entries weekly for over two decades, doodle-hearts and all. Your Mom only lets your friends over for sleep-overs because she gets a little action with them while you sleep. Your Mom secretly likes the smell of her own flatus. Now you know where you get it from. Your Mom is like a Bowling Ball. She gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, yet she still comes back for more. Your Mom bucked like Bambi in a forest fire while I was riding her last night. I had to grab her love handles with both hands to stay on. No wonder she demanded I tie her to the hood of the SUV before we started. Don't worry, Your Mom is still a virgin. You were a backdoor baby. Your Mom knows the exact come-on line which lead to your conception. Your Mom is really a homeless man living in Iraq. The Government does not want you to know this, so they handed you over to some fat bitch Your Mom thought you were an exceptionally large crap. Your Mom is actually Richard Simmons in disguise. The term motherfucker refers, specifically, to Your Mom. In a year's time, another term, far worse than motherfucker, will gain currency. It will be so scatologically vile that most nations will establish crimes for its usage. It, too, will refer, specifically, to Your Mom. Your Mom is Chief Test Engineer for the Jack Rabbit Massager Corporation. Your Mom wears crotchless panties. And a Peep Hole bra. Your Mom uses duo-balls to relieve the tedium of shopping. Your Mom is so evil, she forced this person to continue putting in the words "your mom". Your mom also enjoys using ben-wa gerbils. Your mom bangs like a shit-house door in a Force 9 gale. Your mom is really Bill Gates. Your mom has a dick. And it's dick is bigger than your dick. Your mom is so fat that she has nine zip codes and none of them border on each other. Your mom is so ugly that the Devil slapped her for smiling and then gouged his eyes out with his pitchfork. Your mom is also Tubgirl. Your mom is in love with Mr. Goatse. Your mom is a cam whore! Your mom eats dead babies. Your mom is so goddamn fat that her NASA sent a space probe to orbit her ass. They never heard from it again. Your mom has a job, and is a respected part of the community. Your mom is so fat, she entered a fat contest and won first, second, and third. Your mom is so fat that Stevie Wonder sees her Your mom isn't really a man. Shes a hermaphrodite. your mom is so old and fat that when she stood up one day she caused the ice age. *your mom is so old she witnessed david killing goliath and she was a waitress at the last supper. your mom is so fat, that when she saw a yellow bus full of white kids go by, she said "stop that twinkie!" Your mom is Barry the Manny your mom is so poor that when i saw her kicking a can down the road, i asked what she was doing.She replied saying i'm moving! Your mom is so disgusting, she is Crystal Pepsi! Your mom was 35 when Jesus was born! Your mom is the age of God! Your mom is poop. Your mom is so fat, her ass has it’s own congressman. (And her congressman was bitch-slapped by Stephen Colbert for being a pussy liberal.) Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the zoo the elephants throw peanuts at her! Your mom is so fat when she walks down the street she walks down the street! Your mom is so emo she saw a run-over squirrel, brought it home, named it George and bragged about it to her whole friends list. Your mom is so fat and emo she cut herself and bled butter. Your mom is so emo she spends $20 on a worn out, vintage looking shirt that was fresh off the shelf at Hot Topic. Your mom is so emo the Grim Reaper had to put out a restraining order. Your mom is so fat, that her period is an exclamation mark! Your mom was, when he made you. your mom is so fat, she cleans her clothes on the driveway Your mom is Russian and stupid, therefore, she thinks you are her. Your mom is so fat, when she is done wiping her ass, the Charmin baby is in its late teens. Your mom has just read this. And she is not amused. Your moms so stupid she sold her car for gas money Also...
Your mom on a regular day.
Your mom on a Good Day.
Your mom on a Really Good Day.
Not your mom.
Allegations about your mom Dear Reader Kyle Rainforth Is A BITCH!!!!! So is Jonny Shoring You have two dads. And both of them are gay. With each other. Your two dads are George W Bush and Sadam Hussein Suzie has four dads. Five are in shallow graves. How many dads are you? Your mother has had sexual relations with all your base. Your mother tried to hang herself with a cordless phone. Your mom Is Darth Vader My other car is your mom. (OHHH! DISSED!) My other mom is your car. (!DESSID !HHHO) Your mom is a necrophiliac Your mom lost her viginity to a bucking bronco Your mom lost her virginity to you... So you are a bucking bronco and I lost my virginity to a bucking bronco. Fortunately, not all aligations are true. And these jokes suck balls. Your mum had sex with your dad, same with your neighbours mum. Your mother is from the plannet Endor and is a Wookie Your mom looks like a hoe In other countries Scotland 'Your maw' is a Scottish colloquialism that derives from the phrase 'Your Mother'. Originally a phrase in English used to indicated someone’s birth parent, this Scottish version is most commonly used as way to put down people who have wronged you (or fucked you off as the natives would put it).
Examples of the phrases use are the following:
"Shut up ya baw bag or i'll beat you so hard your maw will feel it!" "I'm ge'in so fat 'cause a'time i have your maw she geez me a sandwich." It can also be used in place of the common phrase 'Fuck Off' to end an argument:
Speaker 1: "You are a toetal dick by the whay!" Speaker 2: "You wheesht or i'll end you ya baw sack!!" Speaker 1: "Whituver ya wee fanny!" Speaker 2: *as dismissal* "Pshhh, your maw!" People should however be wary of using it in the latter sence as it will often lead to what is affectionately known as a Glasgow Kiss or if in certain parts of Govan, a Glessing.
Australia Your Mum
Nowhere (Also known as Norway)
Mora di er mann, og faren din er homo. Ha ha ha.
wait for your little yellow Babelfish to zdecode this gibberish* Your mom is a man and your dad is gay. Pancakes.
South Africa 'Jou ma' is a common phrase used to rebut an argument. It is often used in conjunction with 'se poes' or 'se gat' to form the often heard 'Jou ma se poes!' or 'Jou ma se gat!' which roughly translated means 'Your moms vagina' and 'Your moms asshole!' respectivly, although the former is the one more often used.
Other uses Your mom is also used in as a lazy phrase to indicate someone having had sexual intercourse with an adversary’s mother. This is used often in cajoling and in defensive/offensive verbal banter between neds (who's natural habitats include Glasgow, Edinburgh and All of England; though English neds are weaklings and hardly worth counting) that often results in a battling not too dissimilar to that portrayed in the cartoon Pokemon. The battling invariably ends in one neds humiliation at which point he will run home to aforementioned 'sexually abused mother' to grass up who has just clattered him and stained his Fila trackies with grass, pish and bucky. If people are feeling particularly intelligent that day then the phrase can be used as a way of turning the conversation around on the other person. e.g.
person 1: “Hey, you poked a hole in my balloon! I hate you!” person 2: “I poked a hole in your mom last night.” Dictionary Definition "wen ppl hav nothin better 2 offend ppl, they refer 2 'your mom' meaning your mam, they are trying to say they have shagged her basically" quoted from the Urban Dictionary. "Ay your mom:- I don't believe you." quoted from the BBC site. "AAAA AAA" - AAAAAAAAA! "Jou Ma" - Afrikaans "Dei Muada" - Austrian "J0|2 (V)0(V)" - Leet "Je Moeder" - Dutch "Yo Momma" - Ebonics "Ta Mère" - French "???? ????" - Russian "Tvoja mama" - Slovene "Deine Mutter" - German "??? ???" or "????'?" - Really Bad Hebrew "? ?????? ???" - Greek "La Vostra Madre" - Italian "Your Mother" - England - English "Dirka dirka' - Arabic "Anyád" - Hungarian "Do Mháthair" - Irish "Omm tieg?ek" - Maltese "Mora di" or "mor di" - Norwegian "Twoja Stara" - Polish "A Tua Mãe" - Portuguese; "Sua Mãe" (Brazillian) "???? ????" or "???? ????!" - Russian "Tu Madre" - Spanish; "Tu Vieja" (Spanish slang) "?? ???" - Arabic "??????" - Japanese "???" - Korean "???" - Chinese "InnaMOY" - Tagalog "Ya Mum - Australian "Sun Mutsis" - Finnish "Din Mamma!" - Swedish "Tavo motuže." - Lithuanian "Ma(-ta aia curva si cheala" - Româna( "Din mor" - Danish "?????? ?????" - Bulgarian "Senin annen" - Turkish "Tu Jefa" or "Tu Mama" - Modern Mexican "Mama kau" - Malaysian Malay "Tua mater" - Latin "Sinu ema!" - Estonian In popular culture Yo Momma Yo Momma is a television series created by George Dubya Bush himself to destroy any credibility our nation has left by lowering our already pathetically low standards of entertainment. Also it airs on MTV2 and maybe MTV Sometimes.
Overview - The show Itself is hosted by a perennial jackass named Wimer Valderama. This man from what experts have gathered is a bastard child. In the Show contestants compete by, "Slinging their Slander" at each other, these jokes don't have to be about the other contestants' mothers but you get extra points if you can tell a 'Yo Momma' joke without looking like an asshole. For Example:
Yo Momma so fat, she's... really fuckin' fat, dawg.
Round One - The show is divided into rounds, round one being the free for all round, where anyone, from hardcore blacksters to asians dudes with nerdy specs can compete, the winner gets to go on to a one-on-one match with the winner from the other side of town, as I'm sure you can imagine all rounds go like this.
"Your mother is, so black, I turned out the lights and couldn't see her." "Yo Momma so asian, she walks out side and peeps asked where she got a full body raincoat" One-on-One Rounds - Next the one-on-one matches begin, the winner getting some "Cash Moooney" and dying a little on the inside, because this was and is their greatest accopmlishment.
Sometime within the match
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