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"Das Bus" is the 14th episode of the ninth season of The Simpsons, and a parody of the book and film Lord of the Flies.

Synopsis

Template:Spoiler When the Springfield Elementary School organizes a Model United Nations, a related field trip turns into disaster when the bus flies into the ocean. The driver, Otto, goes missing, and the students, including Bart, Lisa, Milhouse, Nelson, Ralph, Martin, Sherri, Terri, Wendell, and Lewis wind up on an island. With no food and no adult supervision, they rely on snack food retrieved from the bus, but they awake one morning to find the snacks are missing. Suspecting Milhouse, the students put him on trial, and he blames the loss on a mysterious island monster.

Meanwhile, Otto swims from the bus and is washed away by the current. He is later rescued by Chinese fisherman in search of slave laborers.

Bart acquits Milhouse, but the other students are unconvinced and attempt to kill Bart, Lisa, and Milhouse. Violence is prevented only when the monster is proved real - except, it is a boar. The students kill the boar and eat it (except Lisa, who is a vegetarian). The episode ends here, but at this point a narrator intrudes and tells the audience that the students will somehow be rescued by Moe.

In a subplot for the episode, Homer, seemingly unaware of his children's plight, launches Compuglobalhypermeganet, an Internet business; it is later 'bought out' by Bill Gates's thugs.

Cultural references

• Most of the episode about being on the island is a spoof of the classic novel Lord of the Flies
• Skinner takes off his shoe and bangs it on the podium much like Nikita Khrushchev did in a speech to the United Nations in 1960.
• The coconut radio is taken from Gilligan's Island.
• The treehouse Bart imagines is similar to the one in the movie Swiss Family Robinson.
• Comic Book Guy is attempting to download pornographic pictures of Captain Kathryn Janeway from Star Trek: Voyager.
• The episode title is inspired from the German film Das Boot. The grammar is however incorrect. It would read "Der Bus" in German, as the word "Bus" is masculine.
• Ralph's "warpaint" matches the "Catman" makeup of Peter Criss from KISS, minus the white facepaint.

Quotes

• Principal Skinner: Poland, tell me about your nation's achievements.
  Milhouse: Well, uh, I heard they sent a rocket to the sun once...at night. And there was that submarine with the screen door...
  Skinner: Oh, no. Young man you need to do some serious boning.
• (Noah's Ark movie, with Troy McClure)
  God: Noah, thou shall build thyself an Arc, measuring three hundred cubits in length.
  Troy as Noah: (writing) three hundred cubits, give or take...
  God (thunder-crack): Exactly three hundred! And thou shall bring two of every creature.
  Troy: (writing) Two creatures...
  God: Two of EVERY creature!
  Troy: Even stink beetles?
  God: Especially stink beetles! (nearly smites Troy)
  (later...)
  God: You did it, Noah! And remember, the key to salvation is... (Kent Brockman appears)
  Kent: You've seen the movie, now meet a real-life Noah! Only this one has been accused of killing two of every animal! Coming up next, on AM Springfield.
• Bart (reading from blank papers): The exports of Libya are numerous in amount. One thing they export is corn, or as the Indians call it, maize. Another famous Indian was Crazy Horse. In conclusion, Libya is a land of contrast. Thank you.
• Wendell (as Mexico): (Nelson/Japan is sticking chopsticks in his nose) Ow! I can't breathe! Please stop him!
  Skinner: I'd like to, but I'm afraid he has diplomatic immunity.
• Bart: I'm glad we're stranded. It'll be just like the Swiss Family Robinson- only with more cursing! We're gonna live like kings! Damn, hell, ass, kings!
• Chief Wiggum: Remember, Ralphie, if your nose starts bleeding it means you're picking it too much... or not enough.

• Terri: I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's!
  Lisa (heard over the shocked gasps of the other kids): "Oh, my God, she must be really hungry!"

• Ralph: I eated the purple berries. (falls to the ground in pain)
  Bart: How are they, Ralph? Good?
  Ralph: They taste like...burning.

• Nelson: Hey, simpson, race ya.
  Bart: First one to the front of the bus wins Martin's lunch money.
  Martin: Huh?
  Bart: Go apple!
  Nelson: Go orange!
  Ralph: Go banana! (Banana doesn't move)
  Milhouse: Make way for grapefruit! Go, grapefruit!
  (Grapefruit rolls under the brakes. Otto tries to press the brakes, but the grapefruit blocks him. The grapefruit explodes, spraying acid into Otto's eyes)
  Otto: It burns! I can't see!
  (Otto blindly steers the bus)
  Otto: Okay kids, don't panic, I need you to be my eyes.
  (The bus falls off the bridge)
  Otto: Ok...which way should I turn?
  (The bus falls into the ocean)
  Children: AAAAHH!
  (The Bus sinks into the water, then submerges)
  Ralph: Go banana!
  
• Marge: (Seeing a stick of butter being used as a pencil holder) Is that my good butter?
  Homer: (Takes out a pencil) Not now, Marge. I'm about to write another delicious memo. (Licks pencil) Mmmm, memo... (drools)

• Otto (as he is swept away): Zeppelin rules!

• Homer: Welcome to the Internet, my friend. How can I help you?
  Comic Book Guy: I'm interested in upgrading my 28.8 kilobaud Internet connection to a 1.5 megabit fiber optic T1 line. Will you be able to provide an IP router that's compatible with my token ring Ethernet LAN configuration?
  Homer (after staring blankly): Can I have some money now?

• Homer: Ooh, they have the Internet on computers now.

• Marge: Bill Gates is here.
  Homer: Bill Gates? Billionaire computer nerd, Bill Gates? Oh, my god... oh, my god... Get out of sight, Marge. I don't want this to look like a two-bit operation.
  Marge: (grumbles)
  Bill Gates: Mr. Simpson?
  Homer: You don't look so rich.
  Bill Gates: Don't let the haircut fool you. I'm exceedingly wealthy.

• Bart: I guess this is the end, Wendell.
  Lewis: He's Wendell! (points to Wendell) I'm Lewis!
  Bart: Well, whatever, just tell Wendell I said bye.
• Milhouse (running into camp): Monster! Monster! Monster! Monster!
  (everyone ducks for cover, except Ralph, who covers his eyes. Soon, the others realize there is nothing around)
  Nelson: There's no monster, you scaredy. Scaredy got scared!
  Milhouse: Well you would get scared too if you saw a monster!
  Lisa (gathering logs): Stop fighting! We need to build a signal fire!
  Nelson: No problem. We can use Scaredy's glasses. (grabs Milhouse's glasses and begins scraping against them with a rock, starting a campfire)
  Milhouse (practically blind): Hey. What's he doing? What's that sound?
  Nelson (gives the broken glasses back): Here ya go. Good as new.
  Milhouse (still blind): What's good as new? Who's talking?
• Lisa: I just remembered. We had a cooler full of food on the bus.
  Bart: And I know just how to get it! (takes off his shirt, grabs Milhouse's inhaler, and dives into the ocean)
  Milhouse: Hey! I need that to live!
• Milhouse: You wouldn't dare hurt me! You forget that I have...the glasses!
  Nelson (takes the glasses from Milhouse's face): Yoink!
  Milhouse (extremely nervous): Now that you've got every you need, I'll just get out of here...
  (he walks a short distance but bumps into Nelson again)
  Nelson: Not so fast, two eyes!
• Nelson: Society blows.
• Lisa: Could anyone else have eaten the food?
  Milhouse: Well, you could have!
  Lisa: Milhouse! I'm defending you!
  Milhouse: Oh. I'm just saying. I was either you or the Monster.
  Nelson: Monster...pff...oh, please...
  Bart: May I remind you that we are not here to debate the existence of monsters!
• Milhouse: I can't go on, you two go ahead...and carry me with you!
• Nelson: Kill the dorks!
  Lewis: Bash their butts!
  Sherri: Kick their shins!
  All (except Bart, Lisa, and Milhouse): Kill the dorks! Bash their butts!
  Lisa: Run away! (Bart, Lisa, and Milhouse do so)
• Nelson (putting ash on his cheeks): The hunt is on.
• Lisa: We should be safe in this cave.
  Nelson: They're trapped in the cave! On to the kill!
  Lisa: Oh figs. (the hunters close in) Stop! You are in violation of the Model UN Charter! (the hunters freeze) Uh, yes. The UN doesn't look too kindly on...
  Nelson: The Monster!

• Sherri (or Terri): This is all Lisa's fault. It was her idea to start this stupid UN Club.
  Lisa: Hey, Martin seconded the motion. It's entirely his fault.
  Nelson: People, people... let's not blame each other. We all know this is Milhouse's fault.

• Narrator: So the children learned how to function as a society. And eventually, they were rescued by, oh...let's say... Moe.

• Principal Skinner: People, people! Do you want to be like the real UN? Or do you just wanna squabble and waste time?

External links

• "Das Bus episode capsule". The Simpsons Archive.

• The Simpsons episodes, season 9