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TFA blurb review

Mells War Memorial is a First World War memorial in the village of Mells, Somerset, in south-western England designed by Sir Edwin Lutyens. The memorial takes the form of a marble column topped by a sculpture of Saint George slaying a dragon. At the base of the column, the names of the village's war dead are inscribed on stone panels. The memorial is flanked by rubble walls in local stone, on top of which grows a yew hedge. Low stone benches protrude from the walls to allow wreaths to be laid. The memorial is one of multiple buildings and structures in Mells designed by Lutyens. When Lutyens toured the village in search of a suitable site for the war memorial, he was prompted to remark "all their young men were killed". The memorial was unveiled on 26 June 1921. Additional panels were fixed to the wall after the Second World War to commemorate that conflict. It is a grade II* listed building and since 2015 has been part of a national collection of Lutyens' war memorials. (Full article...)

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@Carcharoth and HJ Mitchell: and anyone else interested: a draft blurb for this article is above. Thoughts, comments and edits are welcome. Gog the Mild (talk) 18:43, 23 December 2019 (UTC)

@Gog the Mild: Looks good to me. The only suggestion I might make is including some mention of the village's connection to high society (eg the memorial was unveiled by the prime minister's son, and at least two of the 21 named on the memorial are blue links—Raymond Asquith and Edward Horner, another son of the prime minister). HJ Mitchell | Penny for your thoughts? 16:38, 27 February 2020 (UTC)

Hi Harry. That is fine by me, but we only have a further 24 characters - including spaces - to play with. So some of the existing content would have to go. What do you like less that the high society connections? Gog the Mild (talk) 17:10, 27 February 2020 (UTC)

Fair enough, Gog. If I had to lose a sentence, I'd probably go for "Low stone benches..." or "When Lutyens toured" or perhaps shorten the latter, though Carcharoth might have a different opinion. HJ Mitchell | Penny for your thoughts? 17:32, 27 February 2020 (UTC)

OK. How's this:

Mells War Memorial is a First World War memorial in the village of Mells, Somerset, in south-western England designed by Sir Edwin Lutyens. The memorial takes the form of a marble column topped by a sculpture of Saint George slaying a dragon. At the base of the column, the names of the village's war dead are inscribed on stone panels. The memorial is flanked by rubble walls in local stone, on top of which grows a yew hedge. Low stone benches protrude from the walls to allow wreaths to be laid. The memorial is one of multiple buildings and structures in Mells designed by Lutyens. The memorial was unveiled on 26 June 1921 by Brigadier-General Arthur Asquith, whose brother is among those commemorated on it and whose father was Prime Minister for much of the war. Additional panels were fixed to the wall after the Second World War to commemorate that conflict. It is a grade II* listed building and since 2015 has been part of a national collection of Lutyens' war memorials. (Full article...)

1,000 characters, including spaces.

Gog the Mild (talk) 18:09, 27 February 2020 (UTC)

Happy with blurb at first glance. Have replaced the image with a tighter crop (both here and in the article). Carcharoth (talk) 13:09, 2 March 2020 (UTC)