Misplaced Pages

Off the derech (Hebrew: דֶּרֶךְ, pronounced: /ˈdɛrɛx/, meaning: "path"; OTD) is a Yeshiva-English expression used to describe the state of a Jew who has left an Orthodox way of life or community, and whose new lifestyle is secular, non-Jewish, or of a non-Orthodox form of Judaism, as part of a contemporary social phenomenon tied to the digital, postmodern and post-postmodern eras. In its broadest sense it can also include those changing to a milder form of Orthodoxy. Despite the term's pejorative and controversially dichotomic and definitive nature, it has become popular in use among Orthodox people, is found in mainstream literature, and has also been reclaimed by some OTD individuals.

Leaving Orthodox Judaism, especially the Haredi community, is largely reported to be a difficult experience emotionally, socially, and financially, often involving multiple risks and losses. The combined findings of a significant body of studies which have examined a wide and varied array of reasons given for leaving suggest that exiting is a complex, multifaceted phenomenon, its motivations of which can be defined in several ways: disaffiliation as immigration (aversion from and/or attraction to the differing living conditions of origin or destination, respectively), as apostasy (faith related), as liberation from a coercive group, and as standing for one’s identity. A common denominator between the narratives is an intensity in the individuals' desire to leave, underscored by their readiness to pay the high price involved.

Aggregations of ex-Orthodox individuals may comprise a social movement, though there is no organized effort to convince people to leave, making it more a social phenomenon than a movement. Reports show the rates of attrition from Orthodox Judaism in the US and the UK to be at 33%–52%, and US data appears to show a decline when comparing those born between c. 1990–2002 with those born before 1990. Similar trends in leaving religion exist in Islam, the LDS movement, Hinduism, Pentecostal Christianity, Roman Catholicism, and evangelical Christianity.

The OTD phenomenon is of interest to Orthodox Jews, non-Orthodox Jews, members of the general public, and exiters themselves. This interest has generated many narratives expressed in the form of memoirs, podcasts, studies, documentaries, TV, and opinion pieces. While initial memoirs and documentaries of exiters focused on those leaving Hasidic communities, experiences of individuals from other Orthodox communities (Modern Orthodox, Yeshivish, Haredi, etc.) differ in several significant ways.

Background

Terminology

Derech, Hebrew for “path” or “way,” bears a religious connotation: those who follow the derech ascribe to both ancient and modern rabbinic authority which determines a way of life, both communal and private. In Orthodox Judaism, halakha (Jewish law) is viewed as the ultimate authority on how to lead a good and morally upstanding life, and living by its code demonstrates one's commitment and is necessary for belonging within certain communities. The term "off the derech" originated within Haredi communities to describe a physical move away from family and peers as well as abandonment of religious, ethical, and cultural principles. With the high level of existential importance for the individual and the community as a whole to stay on the derech, the term in its original setting is one of disapproval, even when not translated into active shunning of the individual.

Some exiters reject the term because of its history and meaning within Orthodox communities, and some reject it as giving credence to perceived religious superiority or a false binary of being either on or off the prescribed path with no room for any deviation. But many exiters reclaim it and use it as convenient shorthand or as a defiant phrase, celebrating its subversive meaning as an antidote to the stigmatization it connotes. Alternatives used are XO, signifying "ex-Orthodox" while also playing on a term for "love"; ex-Jew, found in blogs; ex-Hasidic or ex-Haredi, offering a more specific indication of one’s native community; and Apikores, derived from the Greek philosopher Epicurus. The last term, first invoked in rabbinic Mishnaic literature and often used as a slur by community members, has extended in meaning to loosely include anyone who expresses a view regarded not only as heretical but even as heterodox.

"Off the derech" has become the most commonly used term among Jews of current or previous Orthodox affiliation to describe an act of departure from a Jewish religious lifestyle, and it is also increasingly used within mainstream parlance, blogging, journalism, and scholarship to identify a brand of secularism born out of a lived experience within a rigidly Orthodox home and community.

In Modern Hebrew, the process of halting or decreasing religious observance is known as yetziah besheelah. This term, loosely translated as "leaving in question," plays on "returning in repentance", the popular term for those who move in the other direction by becoming Orthodox after being raised without Orthodoxy.

History of religious attrition

Movement away from traditional religious practices and communities toward secularity has a rich tradition in modern Jewish and Jewish American literature, much of which is echoed in the OTD phenomenon. The Haskalah, the Jewish Enlightenment in Europe that ran parallel in time to the European Enlightenment, was similarly a determined move toward secularization that challenged rabbinic authority, though on a greater scale. Comparable to the OTD phenomenon in the Digital Age, the Haskalah arose in an era of unprecedented opportunities for participation in the non-Jewish world and access to diverse bodies of knowledge. In 19th-century Europe, more girls than accounted for may have voluntarily left Orthodox Judaism, since many stories of girls being abducted by convents may actually have been voluntary defection. Early 20th-century American Jewish immigrant stories consistently tell of an initial departure from a native community, usually located in Eastern Europe or Russia, followed by a secondary departure from their religious and cultural practices.

Nevertheless, OTD literature distinguishes itself as "a movement that originates in the Postmodern world and moves toward, if anything, one that is Post-postmodern," bringing with it its own unique sociological and anthropological aspects.

Demographics

United States

A 2013 survey on American Jews conducted by the Pew Research Center, which included more than 500 Orthodox participants, found that 52% of Jewish adults who were raised Orthodox were no longer Orthodox. When subdivided by age, it found that 17% of these are accounted for by those under the age of 30, 43% by those aged 30–49, 59% by those aged 50–64, and 78% by those aged 65 and above. Some experts think that the higher attrition rate in the older age groups is possibly "a period effect in which people who came of age during the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s left Orthodoxy in large numbers." These numbers are very inaccurate due to the fact that the vast majority of orthodox jews do not take part in polls, resulting in most of the people who do take part a small minority. the true numbers are undoubtedly under 10%

A subsequent 2020 study found the attrition rate to be at 33%. This lower rate may be due (at least in part) to the fact that in this study, the sample of adults who were raised as Orthodox Jews includes a larger percentage of people under the age of 30.

United Kingdom

The JPR's preliminary report from the 2013 National Jewish Community Survey showed that 36% of participants who were raised Central Orthodox were no longer Orthodox (an additional 6% had gone "right" to Haredi Orthodoxy). There was no data available to demonstrate shifts in the British Haredi community.

Reasons for leaving

Lived experience is different in various sections of Orthodox Judaism, which includes Modern Orthodoxy, Haredism, Yeshivish Orthodoxy (which can denote Haredi and/or Modern Orthodox communities), Hasidism, and more. Experiences also differ based on gender. Despite these differences, however, the broad outlines of reasons people leave any Orthodox Jewish community remain similar. Reasons include sexual abuse, forbidden sexual orientations or gender, lack of belief / belief in other theories, patriachal socity, or dislike of the culture. Often, if the leaver does not feel welcome in the community, they will leave altogether instead of finding other communities, although some go to other forms of Judaism, such as Reform. One study by Roni Berger found four milestones common in the narratives of study participants: 1) initial questioning; 2) growing doubts; 3) beginning to share selectively with a small group of trusted others; 4) revealing a new and altered identity. This process of religious disaffiliation is echoed by Helen Rose Fuchs Ebaugh in a 1988 article about former nuns, which she outlines as 1) first doubts; 2) seeking and weighing role alternatives; 3) a turning point; 4) establishing an ex-role identity.

Lynn Davidman's 2014 book acknowledges the often messy process of leaving, including a period of "passing" when individuals move between two worlds. This period is characterized by confusion, doubts, depression, and defiance, but also by self-confidence and courage to leave the regimented world they grew up in and begin to live in another world. In addition, because of the community's insularity, some people who experience the first stages of doubt, confusion, and depression don't see a way out and instead reconcile themselves to remaining. Those who are married and/or have children often make choices about suppressing doubts or negotiating acceptable trespasses with their spouses in order not to jeopardize their spouse and children's standing in the community.

An individual's decision to discontinue practicing Orthodox Judaism is likely based on the presence of one or more of three key causes: emotional, intellectual, or implementational issues. Nishma Research carried out a survey of OTD individuals in 2016, which recorded a widely-varied and complex set of reasons people give for leaving, and the process in which they do so, including emotional, intellectual, or implementational issues. An earlier study by journalist Faranak Margolese came to the conclusion that: "Most formerly observant Jews today seem to have left, not because the outside world pulled them in, but, rather, because the observant one pushed them out. They experienced Judaism as a source of pain…so they did what was natural: go in the other direction." These and other studies point to social and emotional aspects of Haredi Judaism, especially individuals' feelings of being silenced, marginalized, or ignored within the rigid social structure, as important factors in individuals' decisions to leave.

Some selected reasons revealed by these studies include bad behavior and perceived hypocrisy in the community, especially from community leaders; oppressive community norms; experiencing religious observance as a condition for parents' or teachers' love or approval; experiencing molestation, rape, or other sexual abuse; difficulty reconciling strict interpretations of Torah and Talmud with knowledge of natural science; and disbelief that the Torah or Jewish path is correct.

Sexual abuse is indeed found to be reported among OTD individuals at a much higher rate than among the overall Orthodox and general population. According to a 2018 study, formerly Orthodox people are more than four times as likely to report childhood sexual abuse compared to currently Orthodox people and those never affiliated with Orthodox Judaism. A 2019 study on OTD adults reports that 25% of male respondents and 30% of female respondents said that they had experienced sexual abuse within Orthodox Jewish communities, though the questioning was not specific enough to determine the prevalence of sexual abuse in minors.

Orthodox views of OTD people

Like experiences of those leaving Orthodox Judaism, attitudes of those who remain differ across the many sections of Orthodox Judaism. Attrition from Orthodoxy is seen by the family and the Orthodox community at large as a serious problem for Jews as it threatens the Orthodox population of Jews, causes assimilation, and breaks the intergenerational chain of the Orthodox traditions and laws for living. In a 2023 survey, "people going off the derech" was collectively ranked by Haredi respondents as the third to fourth "top communal priority for the next decade"; Modern Orthodox respondents placed it as priority number twelve.

Attitudes of Orthodox individuals and leaders toward those who have left range from considering them heretics to be shunned and/or mourned as dead (the latter having fallen out of vogue more recently), to regarding them as being wayward people in pain who must be shown love. Showing love to those perceived as being in pain is most often seen in regard to teens, where the attitude is that if "a parent goes down the path of love and acceptance - that child will be far less likely to go down that rabbit hole. And may even return to observance." In the view of Haredi leadership and Haredi psychologists, questions of faith are a symptom of abuse, depression, anxiety, addiction or life problems, and through addressing these issues one is likely to return to their former beliefs. For this reason, individuals who lose faith are often pathologized for their inability or unwillingness to conform. "At risk," a term used in secular arenas to describe minors "less likely to transition successfully into adulthood" due to a variety of social and emotional factors, was adapted by Orthodox people to include those at "spiritual risk," defined as a decline in observance, a decline in spiritual beliefs, and/or violation of socio-cultural norms and rules, elements which can manifest into leaving Orthodox Judaism.

Many former Haredim speak of having been ostracized by their families, although it is also not uncommon for families to retain close ties with such children. A 2021 study focusing on OTD individuals raised in Yeshivish (Lithuanian Haredi) communities concludes that "In the Yeshivish world it appears that remaining close, not cutting off a child because they are OTD, is a pattern and not an exception." In a Mishpacha interview, Shimon Schneebalg, a Hasidic Rabbi in Israel, encouraged parents of OTD children to fully accept that their child has taken "a different path" and to love their child unconditionally. In 2018, in what the Jerusalem Post termed a "remarkable" video, Rabbi Gershon Eidelstein was filmed saying that parents of an OTD son should not reprimand their child for bringing a girlfriend into the home or lighting a cigarette on shabbos.

Agudath Israel of America, a leading ultra-Orthodox organization, regularly addresses the topic of individuals leaving Orthodox Judaism. At their national conventions in 2015 and 2016, they addressed the topic in panels titled "Chanoch La’naar: Nurturing Our Children, Ensuring Our Future," "OTD: Why Do They Leave? And What Can We Do About It?" and "Diving Off The Derech: The Emerging Adult At Risk Phenomenon." The topic also appears frequently in their now-defunct magazine, The Jewish Observer, like the January/February 2006 issue devoted to the topic of "Kids@Risk Revisited."

For those who leave and are married with children, the community tends to embrace the spouse left behind and help raise funds for legal support to help that person retain custody of the children, sometimes accomplished through community emergency fundraising appeals which are backed by the Haredi community leadership. One such event in 2016 in Stamford Hill, London was graced by the presence of senior rebbes who had flown in from Israel to attend, which helped to attract a reported 1,500 strong attendance, each of whom was asked for a minimum donation of £500. A flyer for the event contained a letter from Rabbi Ephraim Padwa, spiritual head of the UOHC, in which he wrote: "To our great pain, and our misfortune, our community finds itself in a terrible situation – 17 of our pure and holy children where one of the parents, God rescue them, have gone out into an evil culture, and want to drag their children after them."

Orthodox leaders and parents have set up organizations to counsel those whose relatives are OTD. Some of the organizations include Project Yes and MASK (Mothers and Fathers Aligned Saving Kids). Additionally, Shabbatons, groups, and events are organized to support parents dealing with an OTD child. Rabbis and leaders also provide support and advice for children whose parents have left Orthodoxy.

Haredi community members interviewed by the BBC "argue that the stories of people who leave cast the community - a vulnerable minority at risk of anti-semitic attack - in a bad light and that it’s unfair." A hashtag trend #MyOrthodoxLife followed the release of the 2021 reality TV show My Unorthodox Life, and similar campaigns often arise when OTD narratives are in the spotlight in attempts to center Orthodox stories joy and silence ex-Orthodox stories of pain or dissatisfaction.

Post-disaffiliation issues

Multiple hardships and losses are involved in one's process of disaffiliation from Orthodox Jewish communities, especially from Haredi Orthodoxy, which can include loss of family, loss of employment, divorce, loss of custody of children, and loss of community and social structure. Additionally, those who leave must adjust and acculturate to new ways of life and thinking outside of their communities of origin.

Psychological

Individuals who leave ultra-Orthodox Judaism often face rejection from friends and family members. This knowledge often leads individuals who have doubts to first try to reconcile their doubts, in order to avoid the risk of losing family and friends. These individuals are generally pathologized by community leaders and experts and this attitude can often cause them to doubt their own sanity for having questions. At this stage, individuals often experience anxiety and depression. Some contemplate, attempt, or commit suicide. Media coverage of Faigy Mayer's 2015 suicide led to a spate of think-pieces about OTD suicides. Mental health advocates within the Orthodox and OTD communities have raised concerns about suicide and overdose rates in both. However, reliable statistics are not available as the matter has not been formally researched. Leaving any faith-based community often has traumatic effects; for many, losing a lifelong sense of reliance and security through believing in divine providence can be a difficult adjustment. OTD individuals also struggle with ingrained ideas about God's punishment, often leading to extreme feelings of guilt. Guilt among questioning individuals sometimes leads them to commit self-harm as a way of punishing themselves for perceived wrongs towards God, family and community.

While psychological effects can be overwhelming in the initial years after leaving, the majority of OTD individuals report success in attaining their desired objectives in leaving. In Engelman's 2019 survey, 59% reported that they accomplished the goals they expected by leaving; 30% reported that they somewhat accomplished those goals; and 11% reported that they did not accomplish those goals.

Social

Leaving the community entails adjusting to a secular world where attitudes to many subjects are different and social life works differently. Some find it hard to adapt to aspects of the general public's day to day lifestyle, which can leave them with feelings of inadequacy and alienation. Leaving a close-knit community where every member of the community is taken care of is often financially challenging as well. Individuals who leave ultra-Orthodox communities often have difficulty maintaining contact with families who may disapprove of their choices. To counteract the feelings of isolation and alienation, many individuals form groups of friends who get together for Shabbat dinners and other practices with cultural significance.

Some Orthodox Jews remain in the community despite losing their faith. In the 2016 Nishma survey of OTD individuals, 33% of the respondents reported that they were posing as religious. These people are sometimes referred to as Reverse Marranos, double-lifers, in the closet OTD, or Orthoprax Jews. The decision to stay is often influenced by fear of being ostracized and having to rebuild community, or by fear of losing one's spouse and/or children. Many of these individuals join online communities of people of OTD experience, often using pseudonyms to avoid being outed. 39% of double-lifers say it is likely they will leave their community at some point.

Some OTD individuals have become activists by founding, or volunteering within, organizations which advocate for specific changes within the community. Some examples include ZAAKAH, which works to prevent child sexual abuse; YAFFED, which advocates for basic secular education among ultra-Orthodox Jews especially amid Hasidim; and JQY, which focuses on LGBTQ+ causes.

Ex-Orthodox organizations

Many formerly Orthodox individuals seek community and discussion about their former beliefs and new lives in online and in-person groups. A number of OTD organizations have emerged; Footsteps, founded in New York in December 2003, provides educational, vocational, and social support to people who have left or want to leave a Haredi or Hasidic community in the United States. Hillel is its equivalent in Israel, Besht Yeshiva Dresden in Germany, Pathways Melbourne in Australia and Mavar and Gesher in the UK. Freidom, a non-profit in the US, provides social support and cultural guidance via programs and events. Project Makom was founded in July 2014 by the nonprofit Jew in the City, and "helps former and questioning Charedi Jews find their place in Orthodoxy". Informal communities have also developed on websites, blogs, and Facebook groups.

In popular culture

In the first few decades of the twenty-first century, a number of stories of people leaving Orthodox Judaism have gained a degree of fame in the general public's eye. Fictional and autobiographical narratives existed in smaller numbers in the twentieth century.

Notes:

• The genre of "OTD literature" is much debated among ex-Orthodox individuals and scholars who study the phenomenon, with some who consider writings of the haskalah to be part of this corpus and some who define the genre as belonging to a particular historical moment beginning in the twentieth century.
• The books, films, and others listed below are varied in their approaches to and portrayals of both Orthodox communities and exiters of those communities.
• Several of these texts which received rave reviews in some publications, primarily the Netflix miniseries Unorthodox and the Netflix reality show My Unorthodox Life, have also generated spirited debate about stereotypical portrayals of Orthodox communities and alleged inaccurate sensationalized representations of those who leave. Some reviews highlight the real-life negative and sometimes dangerous effects of certain representations, and some embrace the ambivalence of having representation even if imperfect. According to Shira Schwartz, a greater number of representations of Haredim are shown in popular media even if there may be equal numbers of non-Haredi OTD experiences, possibly as a strategy to attract secular interest through the shock and intrigue in the narratives of visibly-different people shedding religious attire.

See also

• Apostasy in Judaism
• Baal teshuva, a Jew raised in a non-observant family who becomes observant as an adult
• Ex-Mormon
• Ex-Muslims
• Exvangelical
• Frum, to describe observant Jews
• Heresy in Judaism
• Jewish atheism
• Jewish Buddhists
• Jewish secularism
• Reverse Marranos
• Religious disaffiliation

References

1. Algemeiner, The (31 March 2019). "The Yabloner Rebbe - Algemeiner.com". www.algemeiner.com. Retrieved 11 April 2023.
2. Fader, Ayala (26 May 2020). Hidden Heretics. Princeton University Press. p. 34. ISBN 978-0-691-16990-3. Retrieved 7 May 2023.
3. Cappell, Ezra; Lang, Jessica (2020). Off the derech : leaving Orthodox Judaism. Albany: The State University of New York Press. p. XII. ISBN 9781438477244. Retrieved 7 May 2023. (Cited content is in the free excerpt).
4. “OTD: Leaving Religion.” 18Forty, https://18forty.org/otd-leaving-religion/.
5. ^ Cappell, Ezra; Lang, Jessica (2020). Off the derech : leaving Orthodox Judaism. Albany: The State University of New York Press. pp. IX–XIV. ISBN 9781438477244. Retrieved 7 May 2023. (Cited content is in the free excerpt).
6. ^ Velan, Baruch; Tawil, Yoel; Marciano, Avichay; Truzman, Tammar (June 2022). "Disaffiliation from Jewish Ultra-Orthodox Communities: Life Trajectories Shaped by the Axes of Rigidity–Fluidity and Alterity–Inclusion". Contemporary Jewry. 42 (2): 293–314. doi:10.1007/s12397-022-09452-z. PMC 9403967. PMID 36039176.
7. Cooperman, Alan; Smith, Gregory A. (October 17, 2013). "Eight facts about Orthodox Jews from the Pew Research survey". Pew Research Center.
8. Handbook of Leaving Religion, Brill, 2019-10-07, ISBN 978-90-04-33147-1, retrieved 2024-03-10
9. Fox, Mira (7 December 2022). "The top Jewish podcast changes the narrative on Jews who leave the Hasidic world". The Forward. Retrieved 10 December 2022.
10. Deen, Shulem (2015-03-24). All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir. Minneapolis, Minnesota: Graywolf Press. ISBN 978-1-55597-705-4.
11. "One of Us (2017 film)", Misplaced Pages, 2024-01-06, retrieved 2024-03-10
12. ^ "'The Derech': Of Entrances and Exits". 18Forty. Retrieved 7 May 2023.
13. Fader, Ayala (26 May 2020). Hidden Heretics. Princeton University Press. p. 34. ISBN 978-0-691-16990-3. Retrieved 7 May 2023.
14. Araten, Rachel Sarna (1986). Michalina: Daughter of Israel. Feldheim Publishers. ISBN 978-0-87306-412-5.
15. Manekin, Rachel (2020). The Rebellion of the Daughters: Jewish Women Runaways in Habsburg Galicia. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press. pp. 55–104. ISBN 9780691194936.
16. Cappell, Ezra; Lang, Jessica (2020). Off the derech : leaving Orthodox Judaism. Albany: The State University of New York Press. pp. IX–XIV. ISBN 9781438477244. Retrieved 7 May 2023.
17. Cooperman, Alan; Smith, Gregory A. (17 October 2013). "Eight facts about Orthodox Jews from the Pew Research survey". Pew Research Center. Retrieved 2023-02-10.
18. "Chapter 3: Jewish Identity". October 2013.
19. "The survey included too few interviews with those raised as Orthodox Jews to be able to subdivide them by year or decade of birth."
20. Mitchell, Travis (2021-05-11). "Jewish Americans in 2020". Pew Research Center's Religion & Public Life Project. Retrieved 2023-02-10.
21. "Jews in the United Kingdom in 2013 | JPR". www.jpr.org.uk. 24 February 2014. Retrieved 2023-02-10.
22. "Synagogue membership in the United Kingdom in 2016 | JPR". www.jpr.org.uk. 14 July 2017. Retrieved 2023-02-10.
23. Bernstein, Dainy (2022). Artifacts of Orthodox Jewish Childhoods. Ben Yehuda Press. pp. xiii–xv. ISBN 9781953829252.
24. "Kids Going "Off the Derech": Reasons, Reactions, and Responses - TheYeshiva.net | Rabbi YY Jacobson". TheYeshiva.net by Rabbi YY Jacobson. Retrieved 2024-08-05.
25. Pruzansky, Rabbi Steven (2012-10-19). "Why Are Our Teens Going Off the Derech?". OU Life. Retrieved 2024-08-05.
26. Lavin, Talia (2015-07-31). "Off the Path of Orthodoxy". The New Yorker. ISSN 0028-792X. Retrieved 2024-08-05.
27. Berger, Roni. "Leaving an Insular Community: The Case of Ultra-Orthodox Jews." Jewish Journal of Sociology 56, no. 1/2 (2014): 75-98.
28. Falling from the faith : causes and consequences of religious apostasy. Bromley, David G. Newbury Park, Calif.: Sage Publications. 1988. ISBN 0803931883. OCLC 16356164.{{cite book}}: CS1 maint: others (link)
29. ^ Becoming Un-Orthodox: Stories of Ex-Hasidic Jews. Oxford, New York: Oxford University Press. 2014-12-01. ISBN 9780199380503.
30. Margolese, Faranak (2005). Off the Derech. Jerusalem, Israel: Devora Publishing Company. p .34.
31. Fader, Ayala (2020). Hidden Heretics: Jewish Doubt in the Digital Age. Princeton University Press. pp. 185–204. ISBN 9780691169903.
32. "Social Research". Nishma Research. Retrieved 2018-01-29.
33. Margolese, Faranak (2005). Off the Derech: Why Observant Jews Leave Judaism; How to Respond to the Challenge. Jerusalem, Israel: Devora Publishing Company. p. 37.
34. Kofer, Chatzkaleh (2019-05-27). "Why I went Off-the-Derech". Off the Derech. Retrieved 2021-03-12.
35. Joel Engelman, Glen Milstein, Irvin Sam Schonfeld & Joshua B. Grubbs (2020) Leaving a covenantal religion: Orthodox Jewish disaffiliation from an immigration psychology perspective, Mental Health, Religion & Culture, 23:2, 153-172, DOI: 10.1080/13674676.2020.1744547
36. Steinberg, Nancy Pauline (2021). Lived Experiences of Young Adult Orthodox Jews Who Have Chosen Attrition from Orthodoxy (Thesis). p. 34. ProQuest 2572552076.
37. "REPORT - The Nishma Research Jewish Community Profile (March 2023) | Nishma Research". nishmaresearch.com. Retrieved 8 April 2023.
38. blackkpaint (2021-01-06). "Sitting Shiva for someone who isn't dead?". r/Judaism. Retrieved 2022-10-01.
39. Cappell, Ezra; Lang, Jessica (2020). Off the Derech: Leaving Orthodox Judaism. State University of New York Press. p. 366. ISBN 978-1-4384-7726-8.
40. Ruddell, Batya. On Their Derech: The Conversation Continues. Tfutza Publications, 2019. ISBN 978-1600916519
41. "Treatment of teens off the derech – The Yeshiva World". www.theyeshivaworld.com. Retrieved 2024-03-10.
42. Maryles, Harry (2021-08-20). "Emes Ve-Emunah: Empathy for Parents with an OTD Child". Emes Ve-Emunah. Retrieved 2024-03-10.
43. Must Watch: Why Do Kids Go off the Derech: Q & A with the Experts. Directed by shiezoli, 2021. YouTube, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18LkrkKQSk8.
44. Fader, Ayala (March 2017). "Ultra-Orthodox Jewish interiority, the Internet, and the crisis of faith". HAU: Journal of Ethnographic Theory. 7 (1): 200–201. doi:10.14318/hau7.1.016. ISSN 2575-1433. S2CID 148852638.
45. "Definition of an At Risk Youth - At Risk Youth Programs". 2021-07-19. Retrieved 2024-03-10.
46. Nadan, Yochay; Gemara, Netanel; Keesing, Rivka; Bamberger, Esther; Roer-Strier, Dorit; Korbin, Jill (1 July 2019). "'Spiritual Risk': A Parental Perception of Risk for Children in the Ultra-Orthodox Jewish Community". The British Journal of Social Work. 49 (5): 1198–1215. doi:10.1093/bjsw/bcy092.
47. Steinberg, Nancy Pauline (2021). Lived Experiences of Young Adult Orthodox Jews Who Have Chosen Attrition from Orthodoxy (Thesis). p. 138. ProQuest 2572552076.
48. "The Love Doesn't Stop". 11 April 2022.
49. "Leading Haredi rabbi: Non-religious children deserve respect". The Jerusalem Post | JPost.com. 2018-01-15. Retrieved 2024-03-10.
50. Rupp, BenTzion (2013-11-18). "Contemporary Parenting Challenges - Agudath Israel of America". Retrieved 2024-03-10.
51. Rupp, BenTzion (2015-11-16). "Convention 2015 Concludes with Candid Discussion of "Off the Derech" Phenomenon - Agudath Israel of America". Retrieved 2022-10-01.
52. Israel, Agudath (2016-11-22), Agudah Convention 2016 Diving Off The Derech The Emerging Adult At Risk Phenomenon, retrieved 2018-01-29
53. Wolpin, Nisson (9 February 2006). "Kids at Risk - An Overused Phrase?". The Jewish Observer. 39 (1).
54. • "The High Price of Leaving Ultra-Orthodox Life - The New York Times" https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/30/magazine/the-high-price-of-leaving-ultra-orthodox-life.html
    • "When Living Your Truth Can Mean Losing Your Children - The New York Times" https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/25/nyregion/orthodox-jewish-divorce-custody-ny.html
    • "The strictly Orthodox Jewish mothers pressured to give up their children". BBC News. Retrieved 27 September 2022.
    • "Appeal launched in Stamford Hill to fund legal fees in custody battles". The Jewish Chronicle. Retrieved 27 September 2022.
55. "The strictly Orthodox Jewish mothers pressured to give up their children". BBC News. Retrieved 27 September 2022.
56. "Charedim raise £1m for child custody war chest". The Jewish Chronicle. Retrieved 28 September 2022.
57. YES, Project. "Project YES - Author at Aish.com". Aish.com. Retrieved 2024-03-10.
58. "Home". MASK Parents. Retrieved 2022-10-01.
59. "Shabbaton for Parents of OTD Youth". COLlive. 2019-05-22. Retrieved 2022-10-01.
60. Student, Gil (2021-07-26). "Honoring an OTD Parent". Torah Musings. Retrieved 2022-10-01.
61. "The strictly Orthodox Jewish mothers pressured to give up their children". BBC News. Retrieved 27 September 2022.
62. Lobell, Kylie Ora (2021-07-16). "Jewish Women Showing Off #MyOrthodoxLife in Response to Netflix's "My Unorthodox Life"". Jewish Journal. Retrieved 2022-10-01.
63. Bernstein, Dainy (2021-07-20). "There's Plenty of Room for Both Orthodox and Ex-Orthodox Stories". Hey Alma. Retrieved 2024-03-10.
64. ^ Engelman, Joel; Milstein, Glen; Schonfeld, Irvin Sam; Grubbs, Joshua B. (2020-02-07). "Leaving a covenantal religion: Orthodox Jewish disaffiliation from an immigration psychology perspective". Mental Health, Religion & Culture. 23 (2): 153–172. doi:10.1080/13674676.2020.1744547. ISSN 1367-4676.
65. Margolese, Faranak (2005). Off the Derech. Jerusalem, Israel: Devora Publishing Company. p .34.
66. Fader, Ayala (March 2017). "Ultra-Orthodox Jewish interiority, the Internet, and the crisis of faith". HAU: Journal of Ethnographic Theory. 7 (1): 201. doi:10.14318/hau7.1.016. ISSN 2575-1433. S2CID 148852638.
67. ^ Becoming Un-Orthodox: Stories of Ex-Hasidic Jews. Oxford, New York: Oxford University Press. 2014-12-01. ISBN 9780199380503.
68. staff/batya-ungar-sargon (2015-08-12). "Why Do So Many Jews Who Leave The Ultra-Orthodox Community Commit Suicide?". Gothamist. Archived from the original on 2020-06-15. Retrieved 2020-06-15.
69. "Faigy Mayer's Brave Life and Shocking Death". The Forward. Retrieved 2018-01-29.
70. "Breaking the silence on Jewish suicide". BBC News. 2015-08-05. Retrieved 2023-02-10.
71. "What Drives Former Haredim to Suicide? And What Can We Do to Stop It?". Haaretz. Retrieved 2023-02-10.
72. "2016 'Worst Year' for Ultra-Orthodox Suicides, Overdoses". The Forward. 2017-01-02. Retrieved 2023-02-10.
73. Baier, K.E.M. The Meaning of Life; in Angeles, P. (1976). Critiques of God. Buffalo, NY: Prometheus Books. p. 318
74. "Off the derech". BBC. Retrieved 2021-03-12.
75. Ewing, Heidi; Grady, Rachel (2017-10-20), One of Us, Etty, Chani Getter, Ari Hershkowitz, retrieved 2018-01-29
76. Fader, Ayala (2014). "Anthropology and History". American Jewish History. 98 (1): 1–8. doi:10.1353/ajh.2014.0003. S2CID 162235842.
77. "Introduction: an anthropological approach to Jews and Judaism". Thefreelibrary.com. Retrieved 26 December 2015.
78. ^ "Social Research". Nishma Research. Retrieved 2018-01-29.
79. "Secretly seduced by science, Hasidic atheists lead a double life – Batya Ungar-Sargon - Aeon Essays". Aeon.co.
80. Fader, Ayala. "Hidden Heretics." In Hidden Heretics. Princeton University Press, 2020.
81. "Ultra-Orthodox Jews Rally to Discuss Risks of Internet". The New York Times. 21 May 2012. Retrieved 26 December 2015.
82. "Why We Protested In Midwood Last Sunday – ZAAKAH". Some People Live More in 20 Years... 2017-06-28. Retrieved 2018-01-29.
83. "Yaffed". Retrieved 2018-01-29.
84. "Home Page - JQY". Jqyouth.org. Retrieved 2018-01-29.
85. "Hillel". Hillel.org.il. Retrieved 25 September 2022.
86. "Project Makom | Who We Are". projectmakom.org. Retrieved 2018-01-29.
87. "Facebook Off the Derech Group - Facebook". Facebook. Retrieved 26 December 2015.
88. "5 questions for Akiva Weingarten".
89. "Unorthodox Reading Companions: Going Off the Derech with Quarantine's Hottest Show". www.nypl.org. Retrieved 2024-06-13.
90. Off the Derech.
91. Poniewozik, James (2020-03-25). "Review: 'Unorthodox,' a Stunning Escape From Brooklyn". The New York Times. ISSN 0362-4331. Retrieved 2024-06-13.
92. "'My Unorthodox Life' is a microcosm of America's divide". Religion Unplugged. 2021-07-28. Retrieved 2024-06-13.
93. Heller, Jane. "My Unorthodox Life Promotes Independence". THE SPECTATOR. Retrieved 2024-06-13.
94. "'My Unorthodox Life' just another show distorting Orthodox Jews - opinion". The Jerusalem Post | JPost.com. 2021-08-13. Retrieved 2024-06-13.
95. "Netflix's My Unorthodox Life perpetuates harmful Jewish stereotypes, some say". CNET. Retrieved 2024-06-13.
96. Bernstein, Dainy (2021-07-20). "My ex-Orthodox life isn't glamorous, but my story should be told". Jewish Telegraphic Agency. Retrieved 2024-06-13.
97. Chaim Samuels (2021-08-14). Ex Hasidic Jew Reviews - My Unorthodox Life. Retrieved 2024-06-13 – via YouTube.
98. Elinsky, Kate (2020-05-03). "My Scandalous Rejection of Unorthodox". Jewish Review of Books. Retrieved 2024-06-13.
99. Singer, Jenny (2021-07-14). "'My Unorthodox Life' Is Compelling TV That Could Make Life Harder for Some Jews". Glamour. Retrieved 2024-06-13.
100. "Going Off Script: The Contradictory Pleasures of Unorthodox". In geveb. Retrieved 2024-06-13.
101. Schwartz, Shira (January 25, 2022). "The Unorthodox Choice (@theTable: "Unorthodox Media")". Feminist Studies in Religion.
102. Friedman, Gabe (24 April 2023). "Netflix's 'Rough Diamonds' brings viewers into the drama of Antwerp's Orthodox diamond district". Jewish Telegraphic Agency. Retrieved 8 May 2023.

Further reading

• Berger, Roni (September 2015). "Challenges and coping strategies in leavening an ultra-Orthodox community". Qualitative Social Work. 14 (5): 670–686. doi:10.1177/1473325014565147. ISSN 1473-3250.
• Enstedt, Daniel, et al., editors. Handbook of Leaving Religion. Brill, 2020. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.1163/j.ctv2gjwshc.
• Newfield, Schneur Zalman (2020). Degrees of separation: identity formation while leaving ultra-Orthodox Judaism. Philadelphia, Pa: Temple University press. ISBN 978-1439918951.
• Sharp, Heather (11 January 2010), "High cost of leaving ultra-orthodox Judaism", BBC
• Winston, Hella (2005). "Unchosen : the hidden lives of Hasidic rebels". Boston : Beacon Press.

• Disengagement from religion
• Heresy in Judaism
• Jewish atheism
• Jewish society
• Orthodox Judaism
• Jewish secularism