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Emotional abuse refers to a long-term situation in which one person uses his or her power or influence to adversely affect the mental well-being of another. Emotional abuse can appear in a variety of forms, including rejection, degradation, isolation, corruption, exploitation, and invoking terror.
Emotional abuse indicators
Emotional abuse can be difficult to observe when it is perpetrated in the privacy of someone else's home, or in a closed institution. However, personal awareness and understanding of the issue is key to recognizing it. The following is a list of possible indicators of emotional abuse:
- depression
- withdrawal
- low self-esteem
- severe anxiety
- failure to establish a mutually acceptable manner in which to manage differences
- fearfulness
- failure to thrive in infancy
- aggression
- emotional instability
- sleep disturbances
- physical complaints with no medical basis
- inappropriate behaviour for age or development
- overly passive/compliant
- suicide attempts or discussion
- extreme dependence
- underachievement
- inability to trust
- stealing
- feelings of shame and guilt
- Self-injury or Self-harm
- frequent crying
- self-blame or self-deprecation
- delay or refusal of medical treatment
- discomfort or nervousness around carer or relative
- avoidance of eye contact
- problems in school or work that manifest into the need to cease activities
- eating disorders
Checklist
The following lists indicators that you can use to gauge whether you are being subjected to emotional abuse (adapted from ):
- You understand their feelings, but they never attempt to understand yours
- They dismiss your difficulties or issues as unimportant or an overreaction
- Your feelings are consistently invalidated
- They do not listen to you
- They put their needs before yours
- They expect you to perform tasks that you find unpleasant or humiliating
- You "walk on eggshells" in an effort not to upset them
- They ignore logic and prefer histrionics in order to remain the center of attention
- They manipulate you into feeling guilty for things that have nothing to do with you
- They attempt to destroy any outside support you receive by belittling that support in an effort to retain exclusive control over your emotions
- They do not take responsibility for hurting others
- They blame other people and circumstances for any unfortunate events in their lives
- They perceive themselves as martyrs or victims and constantly expect preferential treatment
- Maltreatment occurs especially when they are unhappy with your behavior
- They love you and treat you like a prince(ss) when they are happy with your behavior
- They aren't happy with your behavior very often
- They compare you negatively to others
- They seem to treat other people kindly, and you're the only one that seems to be yelled at by them'
See also
- Child abuse
- Domestic violence
- Psychological abuse
- Relationship counseling
- Parental Alienation Syndrome
- Medea complex
External links
- You Carry the Cure in Your Own Heart by Andrew Vachss, article that discusses the effects of emotional abuse of children and steps for the now-adult victim to take, to heal from their emotionally abusive past.
- http://www.thisisawar.com/AbuseEmotional.htm
- http://eqi.org/eabuse1.htm
- The Emotional Abuse Checklist